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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 707
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 13, 2006 - 11:38 am: | 
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Okay gang I need some advice....
My husband and I have been living the D/d lifestyle for almost 6 years. We met in a spanking chat room. We met knowing what the other was into and wanted, expected from the relationship. We got married almost 3 years ago.
Here is my problem....
Life gets in the way of spanking...everyone knows that. I know that. But lately life has almost done away with spanking at my house. We have a teenager living here as well as a 1 year old.
When I finally got up the courage to talk to him about the lack of spanking....yes it is still hard for me to talk to him about...
His repsonse was that I hadn't needed to be spanked as I hadn't done anything wrong. That maybe I should be a little naughtier.
Hmmm....we both hate bratting...so that isn't even a consideration. Should I do something I know he doesn't like just to get spanked??
We've never really had to do that before. We really don't do good girl spankings. He seems to feel that he needs a reason to spank me..and thats okay with me that is how we have lived all along. Sometimes we do erotic spanking but not often.
How do you get past the LIFE stuff in order to keep up the lifestyle???
I should say that we still have spanking in our house....its just been a while in between spankings. I guess I just want more...  |
Pinkcheeks
Supreme Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 525
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 13, 2006 - 12:37 pm: |
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Hi Tammy...Although we have no kids in the house anymore (yippeeeee), I can understand where you are coming from. Have you ever considered "maintainance spankings? Maybe pick one day during the week? We do not like bratting either, but sometimes you need more then a gg spanking
"Thought I WAS being a good girl...really I did!"
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 709
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 13, 2006 - 01:00 pm: |
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Thats a good idea Pink. We haven't done that but it is sure worth a try.
Thanks!! |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2480
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 13, 2006 - 01:38 pm: |
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Tammy, I know exactly where you are coming from. My husband and I have discovered that sometimes a weekend away or even a night away without kids brings out the fun in us. You need to get out of the house, otherwise you will fall right back in daily routine. If you can get your teenager to watch the baby and either go to a hotel or a friend's borrowed unoccupied house, it will give you a chance to rediscover the joys of spanking. Confess to your husband that you have done something (anything) and ask him to deal with it. I think once his desires get re-ignited, he may want more. Otherwise, you can set up some type of behavioral list for yourself and let him know when you have "broken the rules." To make it even easier write down what the punishment will be for infractions.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 712
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 13, 2006 - 01:50 pm: |
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Great idea Fanny!! I love the getting away. Until you said that it could re-ignite that Dom thing in him I hadn't thought about it. I guess after a while he forgets what it is and what it does for both of us. I think making a list and punishments for the infractions is a great idea too. It will give us both something to go by.
Thanks so much!! |
Mistydawn
Spanko
Username: Mistydawn
Post Number: 84
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 13, 2006 - 03:38 pm: |
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Hi, Tammy.
We dont have the problem of neither of us wanting to spank as we are new to spanking it's pretty much something we want to do a lot but we do have the problem of children in the house so I understand how difficultit is finding the time.
This might cheer you up sort of !!
We have two young chidren 9 and 6. A few weeks ago we commited the ultimate faux pas. We thought that they were both asleep and that we were doing it quietly. Next morning my eldest asked why she kept hearing slapping sort of noises.
We were mortified. Fortunately she is used to us being strange and the fact we said we were practising clapping songs and liked to bash sticks together like Morris dancers seemed to suffice. For the next few days we merrily clapped and banged sticks together when ever she was in the room just to make sure incase she still had any doubts. Ok she thinks we are completely insane but better that than the truth.
Now we only spank when they are not in the house like when they are playing out. They are really pleased because they have more playtime and so do we.
Is there a problem with just asking for a spanking or do you both feel it has to be for an infraction?
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MistyDawn
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Learning to love and loving to learn
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 717
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 13, 2006 - 03:53 pm: |
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That is to funny!! Good cover story!!
My little one is easy enough to get around and at least once a month the older one spends the night some place else. But we sure do have to be creative.
I guess I just want to be able to be spanked any time I feel like it and that isn't going to happen . |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2485
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 13, 2006 - 04:39 pm: |
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In an ideal world, Tammy!! 
But once you throw in jobs, kids, pets, extended family, household chores et cetera, jeez it is a wonder we find the time at all.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 722
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 13, 2006 - 05:19 pm: |
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Your right Fanny.....guess thats why I find myself asking these questions.
Life....sure does get in the way sometimes!! |
Beachley
Advanced Spanko
Username: Beachley
Post Number: 387
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 13, 2006 - 10:33 pm: |
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When life gets too hectic the only thing you can do is make time for yourself & hubby.
I always figure if I have time to do all those other things that take up all my time then I owe it to myself to make time for me. One of the other things can wait.
Hope you are able to find that time also Tammy and bring along some favorite implements. A nice leather flogging can be quite relaxing and hits that spanking nerve.
The Spice of Life is having my OWN WAY!! A spanking would be nice.
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 723
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 13, 2006 - 11:36 pm: |
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ohh you are so right about that Beachley I love the leather flogger we have. We have only used it a few times...but it was nice!! |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 943
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 14, 2006 - 01:53 am: |
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There was a short period of time when we were visiting my mother last year that really put a crimp in our spanking activities. Once when Dan was spanking me with the CB paddle, my mom yelled from down the hall, "Hey, what's that noise?" 
We ended up having to go on a weekend getaway so we could get in some playtime. I remember when he was packing I was practically jumping up and down suggesting which toys I wanted to take. That was a great weekend and really helped relieve the stress of being in that situation. We got the chance to focus on each other and reconnect.
I still can't believe my mom heard us! 
Good luck, Tammy! |
Denmarked
New member
Username: Denmarked
Post Number: 2
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 14, 2006 - 05:27 am: |
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Tammy - The idea of planning some time together is really a great one. It's important to have time alone together anyway, plus, an added bonus is the anticipation that builds while your waiting - knowing what's coming. I am in that state now. This evening my kids will be at a long planned sleepover and I can't wait until tonight!
And since we're sharing stories, recently my nine year old son joined us in the front yard waving around our two canes, asking what they were because he thought they seemed like fun toys (in a whole other way obviously). I think six houses could have seen it if they happened to be looking in our direction. My husband made up some totally lame explanation, grabbed them and put them away. |
Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 724
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 14, 2006 - 09:36 am: |
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I would love a week-end away!! I don't know what I would do if my MOM overheard anything...maybe die... 
That is so funny about the kids finding the canes...why do the neighbors aways have to be around when you don't want them?? |
Mistydawn
Spanko
Username: Mistydawn
Post Number: 85
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 14, 2006 - 04:32 pm: |
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Just a thought but........ maybe if we all posted a little less we might have a little more time for spanking. 
--------------------------------------------
MistyDawn
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Learning to love and loving to learn
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 733
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 14, 2006 - 04:37 pm: |
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Well I do most of my posting in the daytime. My husband works days....so no spanking going on here daytimes. Posting doesn't get in the way of anything unless you count the dust. |
Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 1147
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 14, 2006 - 04:38 pm: |
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Not posting isn't going to take care of the fact that the kids are still around.
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Weasel
New member
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 28
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 14, 2006 - 07:12 pm: |
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I thought having the dogs observe our antics could be disconcerting, but we can always banish them to outdoors. Having to work around kids and roommates would be a real pitb.
You could plan a night of romance, plan for the kids to be elsewhere. At the last minute, before y'all are packing the kids up to drop off at grannies, tell him you have to cancel it all, grannie has the flu or whatever. Let him realize the implications of what he's missing. Remind him of how much fun will not be had. Then tell him "Fooled Ya!! Had ya worried, you should have seen the look on your face...." Lay it on thick.
He'll have all the way to grannies house with the kids in the car to come up with 1001 ways to make you pay.
It's the kind of prank that would work at my house to get Mr. W. all worked up to wallop my bottom. Thankfully, we have no youngsters in the house. Just them dang dogs - watching - with the infinite adoration only dogs can observe us with.
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
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Sarahsbrat
New member
Username: Sarahsbrat
Post Number: 8
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, June 15, 2006 - 05:31 am: |
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Wow! It has to be difficult with kids. I agree with the Maintainence spanking routine. Sarah and I practice that (no kids here just cats lol) and we picked Tuesdays for them. If you can afford it get someone to watch the baby for you for that time, you don't have to explain, unless your comfy with that.
Not just any naughty brat...Sarahsbrat
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Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 1158
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, June 15, 2006 - 07:58 am: |
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I don't have kids but my dog takes exception to my hubby spanking me.
We put her outside but she barks the place down. Can't get into the "zone" when you're afraid she is gona upset the neighbors
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Pinkcheeks
Supreme Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 543
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, June 15, 2006 - 09:44 am: |
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Shylah...my dog, "Jake" is VERY protective of me, so anytime Hubby and I want to spank, or do "the deed", we have to either put him outside, or gate the poor thing in the kitchen!
My vet said that my dog considers me "his" - and wants no one else near me. Thus, the humping of my leg if I even ATTEMPT to sit next to hubby!! LOL!!
Poor thing spends a lot of time in the kitchen or outside!!
"Thought I WAS being a good girl...really I did!"
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 744
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, June 15, 2006 - 09:56 am: |
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Good advice everyone!! Thanks!!
Pink you made me laugh!! |
Katie_spades
Supreme Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 538
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, June 17, 2006 - 12:51 am: |
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Bethie - that story was freaking hilarious! I would have died! Too funny!
The Princess of Spanking
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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 982
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, June 17, 2006 - 11:58 pm: |
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Dan and I both about died laughing at the time. I think I told her I was trying to re-hang a picture that had a loose nail holding it up. That was truly embarrassing and funny.
And just so y'all know:
Tammy got a spanking! Tammy got a spanking!
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Katie_spades
Supreme Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 566
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, June 18, 2006 - 07:27 am: |
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Good now we NEED to I mean um, it would be nice to hear about it, LOL!!! NOW NOW NOW! Inquiring minds need urr... want to know, LOL!!! 
The Princess of Spanking
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Atomicpuppy
New member
Username: Atomicpuppy
Post Number: 29
Registered: 08-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 08, 2006 - 12:10 pm: |
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Just read Pinkcheeks story about the dog and it made me laugh because this last year my wife bought a new jack russell puppy,nearly £200,and she(puppy)will not sit with her.Instead she sits with me all the time.This winds my wife up all the time.
Tammy if you have been naughty to get spanked so far then carry on.I'm sure you can think of something to wind him up so he will spank you. |
Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 1010
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 08, 2006 - 03:46 pm: |
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Winding him up isnt really the answer. He is NOT into bratting. Besides this was back in June and I did get spanked!!
He's a man after all...and a little slow sometimes. |
Atomicpuppy
New member
Username: Atomicpuppy
Post Number: 32
Registered: 08-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 08, 2006 - 06:02 pm: |
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Hi Tammy Yes I am,a guy,and still learning about this and the members.Though I don't understand some of the terms used,yet!
How would you describe bratting? Reason I ask is that you stated " Should I do something I know he doesn't like just to get spanked??"
Isn't that doing something to wind him up to get what you want? Wouldn't this be considered as bratting?
Not trying to be clever,just want to learn as some articles I've read are misleading.Trying to improve my own spanking relationship.
By the way congrats on getting the spanking.How did you get him to spank you in the end? |
Sarahsbrat
New member
Username: Sarahsbrat
Post Number: 37
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 09, 2006 - 09:35 am: |
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Maintainence spankings seem to work in homes where it isn't done just for discipline. I have a lot of subbie friends who get one (usually mid week) and it helps to keep them grounded.
If your husband needs a reason to spank you then maybe you need to tell him that *you* need one.
Someitmes I think Doms don't understand this need that grows inside and they need a little reminder about it.
Wish is was that way for my Top }
Not just any naughty brat...Sarahsbrat
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 1013
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 09, 2006 - 11:25 am: |
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Well...in my home spanking is done mostly for just discipline as I stated above I DID tell him I needed one. But this was all back in June and we are back on track now. |
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