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Tina
New member
Username: Tina
Post Number: 4
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, June 10, 2006 - 08:45 pm: | 
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I've been asked to move these questions here from the meet and greet forum.
(1) I'm into the submission thing mostly because for me it is a sexual turn on. However I am not interested in a whole "lifestyle" where the dominant/submissive thing is going 24/7. I am a strong-willed, independent professional woman, but behind closed doors I am looking for a different situation, namely to be on the receiving end of an authoritarian relationship. Does that make me a fraud because I am basically just playing a game? Or perhaps I am just on one end of the spectrum.
(2) I've been doing on-line personal ads for a while now and its time to update my profile to accomodate my new "interest." Is there a code word that is used in the scene to alert others as to what I am looking for? I hate to use the word "submissive", that seems kind of overly blunt. However I must send out some kind of a flag in order to lure in the proper suitor. |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2468
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, June 10, 2006 - 08:57 pm: |
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Hi Tina and welcome. I live the lifestyle you described. To the outside world I am one person, but in the privacy of my home I am another. That does not make me a fraud because I choose to keep my personal life personal. Due to the nature of my work, I can't have anyone know what goes on behind closed doors. That does not mean that I do not enjoy what I do in both worlds, I just keep them separate.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 689
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, June 10, 2006 - 09:02 pm: |
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Thanks for posting this here Tina.
1) No your not a fraud!! There are many aspects of this lifestyle. Everyone has different likes and dislikes when it comes to spanking.
2) As for the code word...maybe someone else here can help with that....my first thought was submissive...but if you aren't sure about that one maybe someone will have a better idea. |
Ladygator2904
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ladygator2904
Post Number: 160
Registered: 03-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, June 10, 2006 - 09:07 pm: |
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HI Tina, to quote you " I need to be spanked good and hard for my misdeeds. I need frequent correction. This is a very liberating feeling for me to finally face this. Now I just need to find someone to punish me properly. " We are similar. I have been into Domestic Discipline for approx 4 months now. I find that it meets all of my needs and enhances our marriage tenfold! I am also not a submissive , like you, I just need a good spanking. Often <g>... G is always happy to oblige.
As for putting submissive or a "flag" on your personal ad, I would think strong and hard about that one. It has been my feelings that their are a lot of strange ppl out there. I guess I dated a few after the break up of my 23 yr marriage  I met <g> online, he did not know of my spanking desires, in time I emailed him ( I am shy when it comes to talking about things) many good posts from the den and a domestic discipline site. We talked for a whole weekend and then I got the spanking I so deserved (another long story, emaail me if you like). I find that most men are willing to accommodate you in the lines of spanking  Well, I have rambled enough. Hope this helps!
A woman`s heart may be filled with an ocean of secrets but mine have all been released and I have a sore bottom to prove it!
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Blistering_blonde
Advanced Spanko
Username: Blistering_blonde
Post Number: 224
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, June 10, 2006 - 09:30 pm: |
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1. Bottom ??? means you like to be spanked. does not mean you serve or are submissive ...
2. Slective submissive ...you choose a time ..or place for it
3. Spankophilia: (likes to reinact stuff ..like school punishments .naughty nurse...secutary..)
and maybe you like to be humilated slightly in sexual play ..as in positions ..figging ...soap in mouth? nudity ?
4. Domination and submission :the one person controls the actions of another, with consent of the other (this is the mental side of BDSM) cause its a form of mental control, and in long term relations you can stay in role full time ..or at slective times
hope that helps
He asked what I needed , timidly gave it at first, now he just knows.
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Nicenick06
New member
Username: Nicenick06
Post Number: 11
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, June 11, 2006 - 02:17 am: |
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Request for clarification
Tina you are single. So are you looking for a relationship to have fun, sex and experience the joys of being temporarily under the influence (and it is a heady cocktail) of a namely to be on the receiving end of an authoritarian relationship? That presumably includes spanking and being submissive within certain contexts….especially during part of sexual fulfilment?
Is this to be casual, semi-casual, more permanent or we shall see?
Is it monogamous?
In answer to Blistering Blonde (btw shouldn’t it be blistered bottom?) I think Tina (but she can speak for herself) enjoys an element of being submissive within the sexual play which would include spanking, plays and making love…
At least I have had partners who enjoyed that but were also outside sexual play strong-willed, independent professional woman and who were also not interested in the whole lifestyle dominant/submissive play as some of the bottoms/subs are on this site.
So in Blistering Blondes terminology Tina is a bottom and a selective submissive. That sort of scenario would suit me fine. I don’t think Tina is into long term mental control of herself…. Just my view.
Tina please clarify…… |
Blistering_blonde
Advanced Spanko
Username: Blistering_blonde
Post Number: 225
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, June 11, 2006 - 02:54 am: |
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Nicenick.... nope ...Blistering...cause I never get a chance to settle for blistered...when he is home its always fresh
Yes please Tina ..we are at a loss to know what you want
He asked what I needed , timidly gave it at first, now he just knows.
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Nicenick06
New member
Username: Nicenick06
Post Number: 23
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, June 11, 2006 - 03:12 am: |
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You are up late...
Lucky you.... always bistering.... |
Blistering_blonde
Advanced Spanko
Username: Blistering_blonde
Post Number: 230
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, June 11, 2006 - 03:17 am: |
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lol not so lucky ...in the one week a month he is normally home he makes up for the three that he is gone ...OH my its 1 am I am up late LOL . opps we are hijacking this thread ..waits for Tina
(Message edited by Blistering_blonde on June 11, 2006)
He asked what I needed , timidly gave it at first, now he just knows.
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Nicenick06
New member
Username: Nicenick06
Post Number: 25
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, June 11, 2006 - 03:26 am: |
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Hijacking?
And are Canadians better spankees?
How are you in relation to Tina?
And your 4-way category? |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2470
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, June 11, 2006 - 03:48 am: |
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Nick, dear, you are new here so I will pass on some information. Highjacking a thread is when someone changes the discussion of the topic, and that is exactly what you have done. The subject is Tina's questions about submission and personal ads. Canadian spankers, 4-ways and relationship to Tina have nothing to do with the topic.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Nicenick06
New member
Username: Nicenick06
Post Number: 33
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, June 11, 2006 - 06:18 am: |
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Ok but Blistering blonde had the 4-way split and I thought that was a legitimate way of continuing the thread....
Meanwhile how do you start a new thread? |
Victoria_wood
Advanced Spanko
Username: Victoria_wood
Post Number: 215
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, June 11, 2006 - 10:59 am: |
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Hi Tina,
You are most certainly not a fraud. There are some in the bdsm world who will say or imply that if you are not into D/s 24/7 that you are just dabbling. I strongly reject that view. We are all different and have different desires and needs. This is how I define myself: I am kinky 24/7, although I choose not to be in a 24/7 relationship. If the desires come from inside you, then they are authentic.
As far as the ad goes, you might want to say something about "spanking" or "open to bdsm" to attract kinky folks. My strategy when dating was to be up front about it right from the start. I put in my add that I wanted a Top, and I got one. You have to put something to weed out those who are not compatible or you will be wasting your time.
Cheers,
Victoria
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Tina
New member
Username: Tina
Post Number: 5
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, June 11, 2006 - 11:27 am: |
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I was looking on this blog called Loving Domestic Discipline, I'm sure many of you are familiar with it. At first I thought wow this is great but then I read further into it and saw that people truly believed in adopting a permanent submissive situation and even quoting scripture to support their view. At that point I thought woah this is too extreme for me, bringing religion into it, to them it is not a game.
This is why I feel somewhat conflicted. In the privacy of the bedroom I want to play the game of the submissive female. I want to be corrected for misdeeds and I want to serve my man in any way that he sees fit. However to me it is just a game, just role-playing, pretend, i.e. pretending to be in the book "The Story of O." But outside of the game we live our separate lives where the game is always there, but its still always a game. For example I can envision a situation where I'd receive a call from him while I'm at work saying, i.e. you misbehaved this morning at breakfast, you are going to get punished when you get home. For some made up incident that's not really real.
But on the LDD website people are talking about genuine misdeeds, and they talk about how their pastor is into it and their mother and grandmother was into it and I'm thinking, OK these people really believe in this and are invoking a Christian element into it, etc. like its God's will. They are not just messing around. That is way extreme for me.
I'm going to do more research on this. The whole thing is fascinating. I'm glad I've found a place where I can openly discuss this. |
Blistering_blonde
Advanced Spanko
Username: Blistering_blonde
Post Number: 234
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, June 11, 2006 - 11:34 am: |
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LOL .. extreme and confusing
here is the NUMBER ONE rule in a spanko life ...
Do what You feel is right ...what is good for you and accepted by you ..is for you ..
Never worry about these extremes . some are way into it then others ..for me I would NEVER EVER allow a whip or cane to touch my flesh ..others crave one. if it helps ..your NORMAL
He asked what I needed , timidly gave it at first, now he just knows.
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Victoria_wood
Advanced Spanko
Username: Victoria_wood
Post Number: 219
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, June 11, 2006 - 12:09 pm: |
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Tina,
I don't think that approach is the majority. It's certainly not how a lot of folks approach it. I take your approach.
This site is a good source of info.
Cheers,
Victoria
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Ladygator2904
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ladygator2904
Post Number: 166
Registered: 03-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, June 11, 2006 - 02:31 pm: |
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I would never mix religion and DD. IMHO However, I am glad it works for them. As for me, I prefer to keep my religion in my church. You will find what works for you and yours.... keep reading 
A woman`s heart may be filled with an ocean of secrets but mine have all been released and I have a sore bottom to prove it!
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Tina
New member
Username: Tina
Post Number: 6
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, June 11, 2006 - 04:01 pm: |
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I would like to post a portion of my proposed profile here to see if you think this would attract the right individual. Would it be ok if I do this? |
Kennysspankee
Advanced Spanko
Username: Kennysspankee
Post Number: 215
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, June 11, 2006 - 04:07 pm: |
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Nicenick, look on the bottom of the page of listed threads, it says 'Start New Thread'. |
Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 1103
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, June 11, 2006 - 05:34 pm: |
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Tina, if anyone is interested, they can click on your nick and bring your profile up. They can also PM you from there.
This is a spanking forum and not a dating service.
Good luck in finding the right partner tho!!!
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Tina
New member
Username: Tina
Post Number: 7
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, June 11, 2006 - 05:51 pm: |
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I am not looking to date anyone from the forum. I'm just looking for advice on how to do a personal ad. Sorry if I wasn't clear. |
Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 1111
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, June 11, 2006 - 06:15 pm: |
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hmmmmmmmmm...I've never done a personal ad.
Why don't you start a new thread in the Lighter Side of Spanking area and see what kind of advice you get?
I am a bit curious myself...not that I ever plan on placing an ad...but am curious what people think would make an ad appealing
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Poofette
Spanko
Username: Poofette
Post Number: 88
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 14, 2006 - 01:42 am: |
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Tina,
You might want to use the terms erotic submissive or perhaps that you're into role playing games. Depends on how specific you want to get in an online ad. You'll need to wade through a lot of garbage but you might find a jewel like others on this site have.
Poofette |
Sarahsbrat
New member
Username: Sarahsbrat
Post Number: 9
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, June 15, 2006 - 05:34 am: |
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Tina,
You don't have to be a 24/7 person to enjoy the type of life you want. I know a lot of peeps who get together for spanking *scenes* and then go home to the lives they lead.
Not everyone wants to give up what they have to have more lol!
Not just any naughty brat...Sarahsbrat
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