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Message |
    
Highwayman
New member
Username: Highwayman
Post Number: 18
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 09:16 pm: | 
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I'm watching Sex In The City here tonight, and Amanda just slept with Ted. Once Ted leaves for work in the morning, Amanda goes through his apartment and finds that Ted has a number of spanking videos. She seems to be completely scandalized by it and is unsure of seeing him again. Later that night after dinner, Ted makes a comment about getting kicked in the head by Amanda in a kick boxing class. Amanda responds with "And I thought you just wanted a good spanking." Ted goes silent and they never see or talk to eachother again.
Would Amanda have spanked Ted? Why was Ted scared off by her comment?
Alas, he was the Highwayman
The one who comes and goes
And only the Highway Woman
Keeps up with the likes of those...
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Biggirl
New member
Username: Biggirl
Post Number: 10
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 10:00 pm: |
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Highwayman: If Ted had had a negative reaction from a former lover when the subject was brought up or discovered in that context I would understand why he would just want to "move forward" if there was a minimal emotional attachment on his part to the person. I am only putting in my thoughts....which come from my negative experience with my ex. Even though I am with the most wonderful & supportive man now who is fine with my spanking desires I still can't talk about it in real detail with him because of how badly I feel about myself for liking it & desireing (sp?) it it on a regular basis.
I am trying so very hard to remove the emotional blockade I have around my heart. So very very hard but I know I have quite a ways to go. I can "talk" about anything with anyone....but when it comes to "sharing & emotional intimacy" with a lover I just can't "open up emotionally" & it is not because I don't want to. (Not with G)It is quite opposite....I want so deeply to open up to him & tell him my feelings on the subject & what I want to get out of it (besides a sexy turn-on) but my shame is so great it has paralyzed me.
Brightest Blessings to Everyone
BigGirl |
Kennysspankee
New member
Username: Kennysspankee
Post Number: 21
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 11:50 pm: |
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Why are you ashamed? If you do any reading on male and female, you'll understand more what the female is all about. You already know, because you are female so be female. I know it's hard at first to talk to him, but once you do, it becomes easier each time. You're afraid he'll think you're nuts if you tell him half of what you want to tell him, but it will only bring you closer together, make him feel more of the protector, the man. Try it with a small feeling you have and see the reaction you get from him. It'll give you courage to open up more, I'm sure. The first times are the hardest, and it will feel like a weight is lifted off of your shoulders each time. You'll feel more fulfilled, happier with life and complete, because most of us girls were raised to be inhibited and it takes trusting your husband (or whatever) totally before you'll be able to lose those inhibitions. It takes a step at a time sometimes, so take that first step. Don't wait till you're 50 like a lot of us did. |
Bigfoot1408
New member
Username: Bigfoot1408
Post Number: 7
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 01, 2005 - 06:44 am: |
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biggiegirl....biggiefoot here........
i agree with kennysspankee , there's no need for shame....and actually i wonder if it is shame you feel...i think it is more a fear of his reaction. he was not into spanking before you..
{ Even though I am with the most wonderful & supportive man now who is fine with my spanking desires I still can't talk}
you are not sure of his reaction to your desire to be spanked,,,,,, sounds normal to me..
you are cautious because of past training and relationships..
cheer up.. and throw shame out the window...
before a turtle can move to get anywhere the first thing he has to do is stick his neck out....
you have done well so far.. since he is still supportive,,, trust him a bit more and open up a bit more.. |
Biggirl
New member
Username: Biggirl
Post Number: 12
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, June 02, 2005 - 03:29 pm: |
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Kennyspankee & Bigfoot.......
Thank you both so much. You are so right...it isn't shame it is FEAR. BigTime. Fear of judgement which stems from ex. I wish I could take all those times when he put me down & made fun of me (about lots of things not just spanking) & pick them out of my mind.
The shame is more from just liking sex. Liking the fact that men think I have a really pretty face. I have always gotten so much attention from it & I was always told to hide my body as a teenager. Required to hide my body or I was judged by my Uncle's & that made a huge impression on me. Because they are the only family members I ever felt loved by.
I realized a few weeks ago (with the help of the Oprah show of course) that is why I hide my body under all of this fat. Afraid to let myself just be myself in a healthy body. How would I ever be able to face the fear of all of the attention. I have never let myself lose all the weight. As soon as I start getting hit on all the time I start eating everything in site. I feel safe in a fat body.
This site has been so helpful to me. Making me see my issues in a new way. See the impact on me as a person in my daily life & how I think about myself. |
Smartnnaughty
Spanko
Username: Smartnnaughty
Post Number: 92
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, June 02, 2005 - 06:21 pm: |
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I feel safe in a fat body too. I am losing weight slowly but then I am feeling much better about myself these days. My divorce a year ago was the best thing for me. Now if my ex wasn't so intent upon being friends. I just don't want to talk to him unless it is about our teenage son.
I find, I really do want a smaller body. Maybe not normal size but plump or chubby without being too large. I would LOVE to look like the picture underneath my name.
Yes, yes, I think I'm going to go for it. Thanks Biggirl! Want to join me?}
Sassy Sassy Sassy
No one can be as Sassy as me!
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Kennysspankee
New member
Username: Kennysspankee
Post Number: 22
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, June 02, 2005 - 08:03 pm: |
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Smartnnaughty, you are on the right track to losing the weight and keeping it off. It's all in the mind, and until you decide what you want to look like you'll never stick to a diet. When I went to a size 12 from a 6 after my first baby, and was still that size after my second, I decided I wanted to look like I looked when I met my husband (at 17). I envisioned myself like I used to be. By doing that it set some kind of determination to be that. A few weeks later I was reading in a magazine, that in order to succeed in a diet you had to see yourself in your mind how you want to look. It clicks something that gives you willpower to succeed and until you envision, you can diet all you like but you'll keep straying off track. I'm 52, not a size 6, close an 8, but I'm not 17 any more either.
Biggirl, you know what they say about the rotten apple in the barrel. Don't let that apple ruin it for all the other apples. You like to hear words of love and have the feeling of security and commitment, well so do men, believe it or not! You know if you can trust him by now to talk to him or you probably wouldn't still be with him. Don't be afraid to be yourself and say what you're feeling. Living in fear can't be fun. |
Biggirl
New member
Username: Biggirl
Post Number: 14
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, June 02, 2005 - 08:58 pm: |
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Living in fear is no fun at all. I am going to have a talk with G on Saturday when we both have the time & energy. Having these feelings all bottled up are really getting to me...I feel real emotional & that is unusual for me.
I don't want to be skinny anymore. I don't to be a certain size either. What I want is to have a healthy looking body I guess. (able to wear a pair of shorts & not feel bad) And I want to be healthy of course too. In Feb my BP was 140/100 & that is way bad for me. Before I started smoking again in 1999 it was ALWAYS 90-100/60.
For 10 years it was like. But now I am getting older.
I will join you in your efforts. Maybe we should chat on regular email so we don't take up space on here. Do you think that would be better? I don't want to upset anyone I really like this site.
I decided my next better health step is eliminating soda. Diet gives me headaches so I drink the regular & I drink so much. As much as 10 cans a day. That is major when you add up the calories.
I am going to try the visualizationing. This sit eis way cool. Thanks for the suggestion Kennysspankee!!!!!!!!!
Brightest Blessings,BigGirl |
Kennysspankee
New member
Username: Kennysspankee
Post Number: 23
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, June 02, 2005 - 10:50 pm: |
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Biggirl, I don't think they mind us yapping, it's way easier than personal e-mail, I think. I was 22 when I envisioned how I wanted to look, and I've held it for 30 years. You gotta cut out the soda. Try to limit yourself to 1 every couple days as a treat and count yourself lucky to have that and you'll make yourself proud of yourself for doing it. Drink lots, like 10 glasses of water a day, it flushes fat from your body, the colder the better, it increases your metabolism to take it off faster. You're heading up to the age where metabolism starts to slow down, making it harder to hold your weight where you want it. Exercise, moving is the key. At 37 I started to find it harder so I started cycling (put away the motorcycle for 6 Years). Did that for a few years, then got an Orbitrek so I wouldn't have to go out, could do my routine in front of the TV. I also have a York 2ooo Weights (old I know) which I did. Haven't done either for almost 2 years, I swear spanking is keeping me slim, it gets you breathing (aerobics), and the sex. I don't know if riding a motorcycle can take credit but I've been doing that since 1981. |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 214
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, June 03, 2005 - 12:28 am: |
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Y'all go ahead and talk about this all you want here on the board. You never know when you might say something that will help another member. Even if they're not posting, they are out there and interested, too.
Support is great no matter what the topic. You could even start another thread just about weight loss and see if anyone else wants to join in. |
Bigfoot1408
New member
Username: Bigfoot1408
Post Number: 8
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Friday, June 03, 2005 - 10:07 am: |
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i guess the best way is to just to jump in..
in your relationships... a big man..{a good man}will build you up to his perception of himself...
a little man {a bad man} will try to pull you down to his perception of himself...
any person who belittles you or cuts you down sees you as being above him....
any man who tells you ,,, your ugly,,, your fat,, your stupid,,,, is so sure that he can't hold you on his own merits that he tries to convince you that you are as bad off as he is.
anyone who insists on judging you is afraid of you, and they are trying to hold you back or cut you down so you won't leave them..
cut this out and put it on your refrigerator door. look at it many times a day....
i spent a loooong 20 year marriage learning these things.... it works for men too,
there are just as many abusive women out there as there are men...
and just as many wonderful ones too.
ladies,,, if you are not happy with the shape your bodies are in,, there are many things that you can do.... but don't make the mistake of thinking that a lot will change,,, sure your dress size will and you will get to buy new underwear... but remember this,,,, if a man loves you for the shape of your body alone.... then he does not love you. if he loves you for your personality and your "mind" then he really loves you,,, not just your body,, you are not just a trophy to hang on his arm...
i am not addressing health issues here.
i dont' know how to put into words what i want to impress on you.
if a man truely loves you.. a smaller body will not make him love you more... nor will a larger body make him love you less......a warm ,careing,loving personality with faith and trust will make him love you eternally.... that goes for men too...she may admire tarzan's body.. but it is you.. she married....... |
Fanny
Advanced Spanko
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 443
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Friday, June 03, 2005 - 11:43 am: |
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Oh, Bigfoot, you are so insightful. Comforting words and beautiful thoughts, I think I have fallen in love with you!!
"Queen of Innocence""
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Bigfoot1408
New member
Username: Bigfoot1408
Post Number: 9
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Friday, June 03, 2005 - 02:33 pm: |
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ummm,,,i am honored.. thank you.
the fun part is ,,,it's all true,,, |
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