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Fireman_chris
Spanko
Username: Fireman_chris
Post Number: 104
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, May 04, 2006 - 04:49 am: | 
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Oooh, a new area.  I guess it pays to stay up late sometimes.
OK, I've been wanting to ask this question for awhile, but didn't want to squick anyone.
How many of you into anal play along with spanking? For me, they very much go <ahem> hand in hand, but I know its a sensitive (no pun intended) topic for some. Thankfully, my wife was willing to try it early on and has come to enjoy it more than she thought she would.
Just curious to see what the consensus is.
As you slide down the banisters of life
may the splinters never point the wrong way.
Old Irish Proverb
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Victoria_wood
Spanko
Username: Victoria_wood
Post Number: 65
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, May 04, 2006 - 08:05 am: |
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Hi Chris,
Well anal is a favorite of my partner, so I have done it. M likes to -- and excuse the graphic language but how can we discuss that otherwise? -- put a dildo up my bum and then spank me with it in. She makes me wear a thong to keep it from popping out. LOL *blushing* And of course she moves it around before, during, and after, which heightens my pain capacity, as would genital stimulation.
And for those ladies who have never tried it, having a little something in both places is a wonderful, wonderful pleasure. My gay best friend is totally jealous that he can never experience that!! ;)
Cheers,
Victoria
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Gypsygirl
Advanced Spanko
Username: Gypsygirl
Post Number: 234
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, May 04, 2006 - 08:41 am: |
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A good question and it will be interesting to see how many people answer either in the positive or negative.
In another thread someone asked me if I was willing to take my partner's kink into consideration being that I asked him (essentially vanilla) to partake in mine and I answered that yes I would and do. Well, this is it. It's something that he likes and wanted to try, so, fair's fair, isn't it? Like Chris's wife it's something that I have come to enjoy. Also like Victoria, it's something that we incorporate into our spanking activity, although we don't have a dildo (not yet at least). I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who feel a bit on edge about this subject but at the same time find the thought of it exciting in a forbidden way and I'd say to them the same as I say to my son when giving him something new to eat 'Try it - you might like it'.
I foresee spankings........LOTS of spankings
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Tammynx
Advanced Spanko
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 402
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, May 04, 2006 - 09:40 am: |
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Good question Chris!!!
My husband isn't really into the anal stuff...but I've told him more then once I was willing to try anything once....
Maybe some day!! |
Shylah
Advanced Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 827
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, May 04, 2006 - 09:58 am: |
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My hubby ain't into anal..oral...or fattening.
At his age, he's just not into experimentation. His ex was strictly old school and VERY vanilla.
Poor old thing...bless him
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Tammynx
Advanced Spanko
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 407
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, May 04, 2006 - 10:35 am: |
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LOL that kinda looks like B!!!! |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2242
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, May 04, 2006 - 11:35 am: |
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I will just answer with affirmative. 
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Fireman_chris
Spanko
Username: Fireman_chris
Post Number: 105
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, May 04, 2006 - 01:02 pm: |
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Victoria, we've done spanking with a plug in place a few times too, but we usually end up using it either before, after or in between spankings.
One thing my wife wanted to try (I told you she got into it) and we're experimenting with is having her "wear" a plug during routine activities and for extended periods of time, maybe even eventually going <gasp> out with one in.  I actually gave her a leather harness for Valentine's day (some guys buy flowers, some chocolate, I buy leather D/s gear). We've played with it a couple of times, and assuming she wears something fairly loose, its not noticeable when dressed.
Another thing we've tried is rectal temperature taking in conjunction with a spanking scene. Since my wife and I don't roleplay much, that didn't really add anything, but I have a friend I played with once who really enjoyed it as part of a "pretending to be sick and getting punished for lying" scene.
As you slide down the banisters of life
may the splinters never point the wrong way.
Old Irish Proverb
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Redhinney
Advanced Spanko
Username: Redhinney
Post Number: 418
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, May 04, 2006 - 08:52 pm: |
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I think for many couples who practice spanking also dable in some D/s. To us it was a natural extenion of spanking and it can be enjoyable. I have worn a plug for several hours as well as when out and to behonest there is soemthing very erotic about it .... Well at least for us.
Love can't always be seen or heard but will always be felt with your heart
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Ladygator2904
Spanko
Username: Ladygator2904
Post Number: 87
Registered: 03-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, May 04, 2006 - 09:03 pm: |
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Ditto to the plug out in public and once walked around with some ben wah balls (is that how you spell them) placed uptight and out of sight. Made for a real nice light ching ching sound  
A woman`s heart may be filled with an ocean of secrets but mine have all been released and I have a sore bottom to prove it!
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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 798
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, May 05, 2006 - 01:29 am: |
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I love having a plug in during a spanking. It really adds to the experience. Every spank gives me a little extra zing. Also, I tend to stay in place and not clench up or wiggle around so much which makes Dan happy. For me, having a plug in gets me right into subbie mode.
I haven't worn one out in public yet...but I definitely want to give it a try sometime.
Has anyone here tried figging? If you're curious check out figging.com. It's a whole new experience and we've had alot of fun with it. Now I have a hard time in the vegetable department when I'm shopping because the ginger always catches my eye and I get a little flustered. Heehee. |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 799
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, May 05, 2006 - 01:32 am: |
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Ladygator, ohhh I'd love trying that! Hearing the little ching ching sound would be so cool...and a little naughty at the same time.  |
Otter
Spanko
Username: Otter
Post Number: 63
Registered: 03-2006
| | Posted on Friday, May 05, 2006 - 01:53 am: |
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Well, my husband has just recently tried spanking me with his finger there. I enjoy anal sex, however, fingers are not comfortable for me. I got a little snippy about having his finger there.
He hears me panting and fighting and says, "Do you need a break?" I say (in perhaps not the most diplomatic voice), "No, I just need your finger outta there!" He says, "Okay, no break for you then." And lays into me even harder. D'oh. But in my aftercare letter, I told him that he should probably do that again. I mean, it's a spanking, it's supposed to be a bit uncomfortable, enit?  It was a first time getting used to thing. I also mentioned that a butt plug might be fun to try.
Great idea for a new area, btw! You guys are gonna get tired of me in here, LOL!
"It was something magic out of something frightening. That's how I live my life, I take it as it comes. In my mind I see the rocking horse inside the tree." -Sara Evans
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Gypsygirl
Advanced Spanko
Username: Gypsygirl
Post Number: 245
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Friday, May 05, 2006 - 06:02 am: |
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I've done the finger as well (well, I've had it done to me I mean) but I tend to clamp down on it and then my husband has to say "Let go. LET GO!" which makes me mutter "It's not me, I don't seem to be able to control it, it has a mind of it's own".
I foresee spankings........LOTS of spankings
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2255
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Friday, May 05, 2006 - 09:10 am: |
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One word Bethie.......GINGER!!!! 
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Curiouserin1972
New member
Username: Curiouserin1972
Post Number: 3
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, May 06, 2006 - 07:10 am: |
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Well I guess you could say we are very anal, oral....oh heck we are very sexual people!! I do love it when Roger plays with my butt. We have this wonderful little vibe that Roger used last time he spanked me, talk about a rush of feelings and emotions. A true pleasure and pain combo, but what a rush it is. And maybe it is me, I hope I don't sound too crude or offend anyone, there is just something about hafter a spanking and Roger takes me (hard or soft, who cares at that point just take me) feeling his public hair against my freshly reddened butt!!
Sigh.....I am off to find Prince Charming
Put us down for 2 thumbs up on anal play!! |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2262
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, May 06, 2006 - 01:51 pm: |
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I have "worn" one out in public, my panties kept it in place and wearing a skirt made it unnoticible. }
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Tansy
New member
Username: Tansy
Post Number: 14
Registered: 03-2006
| | Posted on Monday, May 08, 2006 - 06:05 pm: |
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i love my buttplug! like bethie said, it tends to make me very still and compliant during a spanking, and i always feel a lovely rush of subbiness when he puts it in...there is nothing like the feeling when a spank lands...i guess it is the transferred vibrations...mmmmmm! |
Ma_vie_en_rose
Spanko
Username: Ma_vie_en_rose
Post Number: 189
Registered: 01-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 09, 2006 - 04:49 pm: |
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Shylah--Oh my god, you poor dear. I couldn't be with a person unwilling to do oral. It's a wonderful thing and--especially with men who don't last as long as women--a way they can overcome any shortcomings (pardon the pun) and still please their partner. At the very least (because they had some other very redeeming quality), if they were unwilling, they could certainly not expect me to oblige them (although I guess considering my ex never gave me oral, but certainly loved it himself, I can't proclaim myself the patron saint of just reciprocity--but! no more.)
The thought of spanking+vibrator is a fearsome combination. I will have to find someone to try that with. |
Bluepencil
New member
Username: Bluepencil
Post Number: 35
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, May 12, 2006 - 09:47 am: |
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Plugs are a definite plus, especially if you have one with a mini-vibrator inside. Word of advice is to use plenty of lube, and if you have a couple of different sized ones (which we do) start with the smallest one first then work up to the desired size.
Ginzer definitely adds spice to things as well. You can make your own lage suppositories and coat them in powdered ginger. Insert partially, stand back!! |
Kinkytim313
New member
Username: Kinkytim313
Post Number: 3
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Friday, May 12, 2006 - 08:09 pm: |
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I have mixed the two before. My old Domme loved to use a dildo on me while she spanked and flogged me. I enjoy it. I never thought I would, it kind of suprises me that I do enjoy it lol. |
Redhinney
Advanced Spanko
Username: Redhinney
Post Number: 425
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Friday, May 12, 2006 - 08:17 pm: |
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This really happened and I was the one it happened to so the whole story is true every last detail. ALso do not drink any liguids when reading this as I will not be resonpible for any chocking accidents YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WARNED
Bill and I thought we would try Ben Wah Balls I didn't even know where you get them never mind what they were so Bill goes and get them. They come in a nice jewlary box velevt lined really nice open it up and in sits two gold balls. Trying not to be to nervous Bill decides that it would be best if he puts them in with me laying on my back OK great they get in without to much trouble. After all they are way smaller than Bill and at this piont I think we were married at least 3 years.. In my head I was thinking space shouldn't be a problem. It hurt a little but hey what did I know I never used them before, maybe you have to get use to them. Up they go everything so far is good. Of course the action of getting them in really set the mood for some play time so play away we did. Yes we had intercouse and it actually felt pretty good a lot tighter but hey I have two ben wah balls in there as well as Bill. So after getting dressed doing some stuff around the house I decided out they will come because to be honest I wasn't sure what to expect but I am pretty sure the feeling I was getting was not what was suppose to happen. So off come the clothes and again Bill thinks he can get them out. After about 4 attempts and me screaming "get your hands out of me" on top of my lungs he decides that he can't get them out. I look and I guess from all the sex with them as well as Bill fingers and hands caused my vaginal area to swell to twice it's normal size. What can we do. I can't go to the ER because the local hospital was were I worked at the time. SO we call one of my friends who is a doctor. He tells us he will met us in his office in 30 minutes -Off we go sitting is hard for me sort of what I think getting spanked on that area would feel like. I couldn't keep my legs close and wearing jeans or underwear hurt so they were out of the question so off I go to the doctor without panites on wearing a skirt but not keeping my legs close becaue it hurt.
Now realize this doctor friend knows me since he was a resident and I save his sorry ass several times so I figure he owes me big time. Once we are in his office Bill tells him. After he stops laughing he tells me to get on the exam table so he cn see what's going on. OK guys rememeber he was a resident when I was the Nurse manager for the unit so in a way he took orders from me and here I was on his exam table legs spread wide for the world to see. All I heard when he was looking was "Oh my god Oh my god repeated over and over. I told him enough of praying and get the dam balls out. Finally he gets this long forceps and inserts them but the frist attempt he grab some of me instead of the balls after about 4 attempst he finally got them out. He was laughing so hard and in a way it was funny. It seems that when Bill put them in he pushed them up really far and than having having an orgasm the contractions cause them to go even futher up that they were in the very opening of the uterus just 2 cenitmeters more and they would have sitted themseleves into he uterus it self which would have meant surgery to remove them.
After it was over I really couldn't stop laughing I mean think about it here we were trying to play with soemthing that women have used for centries without any problems and I couldn't even get them in and once in they wouldn't come out.
For the longest tiem I swore nothing in any shape of form other than a pneis was going inside of me over the years I changed alot so instead of Ben wah balls we use Smart balls. You can get them on line they are connected they have soemthing inside of them that click softly whe you move and get this they have a cord on them to pull them out what an invention.
Now a secert we ahve two sets in difeerent colors to put in different place you come up with ever they go.
Love can't always be seen or heard but will always be felt with your heart
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Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 905
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Friday, May 12, 2006 - 08:25 pm: |
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OMG Redhinney!!
That is so funny! I would have died from embarressment!
Note to self: NO Ben Wah balls
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Pinkcheeks
Advanced Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 404
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, May 13, 2006 - 08:06 am: |
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OOOHHHH NOO!!
 ...yeah I second Shylah - NO Ben Wah balls for me!!
"Thought I WAS being a good girl...really I did!"
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Redhinney
Advanced Spanko
Username: Redhinney
Post Number: 428
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, May 13, 2006 - 05:45 pm: |
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I am so glad I make you guys laugh but I do think it was very freeky thing. But one thing I did learn if there is one thing in you that area is off limits to any thing else.
Love can't always be seen or heard but will always be felt with your heart
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Ladygator2904
Spanko
Username: Ladygator2904
Post Number: 94
Registered: 03-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, May 13, 2006 - 07:06 pm: |
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THUD, I laffed so hard I fell out of my chair! So glad it didn`t happen to me! Well, like you I was inexperienced and a lover gifted them to me, I use them as a foreplay. I wear them for hours during housework or grocery shopping! I always take them out before making love. I don`t exactly know why, maybe God was giving me a heads up. Its a good thing he did. I don`t have any doctor friends and I would have been REALLY embarrassed going to the ER! 
A woman`s heart may be filled with an ocean of secrets but mine have all been released and I have a sore bottom to prove it!
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A_well_punished_girl
New member
Username: A_well_punished_girl
Post Number: 3
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, May 14, 2006 - 11:56 am: |
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We have begun introducing anal play into our relationship. It was something that I had little interest in before. Our relationship has taken a turn from the spanking "play" to D/s...to M/s.
He bought ginger yesterday and I am both dreading and looking forward to it.
I got my first butt plug yesterday and we will be trying it tonight, I think. |
Weasel
New member
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 15
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Monday, June 12, 2006 - 06:01 pm: |
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I'm interested in adding an anal toy to our toy collection. He likes to put a finger in my ass during foreplay, but so far not when he spanks me. I'd like to try one of those jelly type butt plugs while receiving a spanking. I saw one online with ever enlarging spheres that looked perfectly devilish! Gooped up with some ginger-goo I think it sounds like a great time! |
Blistering_blonde
Advanced Spanko
Username: Blistering_blonde
Post Number: 242
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, June 12, 2006 - 06:07 pm: |
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Word of advice
..get one with a big base on the end ... your rear will contract if you orgasam and *Suck* it inside you ... They sell the none based types still (reason I posted) and you do not want to lose one in you and need to go to emergancy room to get it removed.
He asked what I needed , timidly gave it at first, now he just knows.
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Weasel
New member
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 17
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Monday, June 12, 2006 - 06:14 pm: |
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Thank you BB, for mentioning that. It's something lots of people wouldn't take into consideration. I used to run an adult store, so I'm aware of that good advice, but I understand there's lots of people who wouldn't.
There are so many new naughty toys out there now that weren't back in the 80s! |
Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 706
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 13, 2006 - 11:24 am: |
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Do tell Weasel...I want to know more about the toys...you could start a new thread....
please???? |
Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 1121
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 13, 2006 - 11:31 am: |
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Toys? Oh yeah!! I wanna know about toys!!
I love toys
BUY MORE BATTERIES!!!
oops...did I say that outloud?
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2482
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 13, 2006 - 01:49 pm: |
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Weasel, I will start the thread for you. We have a lot of toys, and keep collecting them. I'd love to hear about more naughty toys.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Dadispanx
New member
Username: Dadispanx
Post Number: 6
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 12:07 am: |
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Tho now in a wonderful and monogamous DD relationship, I have BB OTK spanked 21 women in my life, 17 of them spankos. Of those 17, I have finger masterbated 15 at the end of the spanking and in each case, inserted a thumb into their rectums while massaging their clits with my middle finger. Many said they loved it and none ever complained, though one said her rectum was a bit sore the next few days. (She had gotten a particularly extensive thumbing.) I think this follow up makes them feel particularly vulnerable and submissive. Any similar experiences or comments? |
Blistering_blonde
Advanced Spanko
Username: Blistering_blonde
Post Number: 312
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 12:33 am: |
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You never mentioned if that was consentual .
does it make one feel more submissive ...not me .. ...it gave me back the POWER .
He asked what I needed , timidly gave it at first, now he just knows.
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 874
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 01:59 pm: |
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Its hard for me to understand how that would give you back any power BB.
Dadispanx it isn't something that we have tried,
but if so many have let you...then it must work for you.
I think it would make me feel vulnerable but like I said we haven't tried it. |
Buenaventura
Advanced Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 107
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 09:54 am: |
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I finish a spanking with vaginal and anal penetration being sure to use plenty of lubricant and never starting with the thumb but with a smaller finger and then graduating up.The important thing is to go slowly. |
Weasel
Spanko
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 95
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, July 15, 2006 - 09:37 am: |
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and the VERY important thing to remember in anal play is to keep very clean. An item, once inserted in the anus, should NEVER be inserted vaginally. Why? E-coli. A wee bit of fecal matter up the vagina can cause HUGE problems for a woman. I nearly died from an e-coli infection (doctors did not say because of sex or not, but that is the most usual way for fecal matter getting introduced to vagina - can also happen if you have an "accident" in your "knickers"). The e-coli caused an infection that got in my fallopian tubes, which drained into my abdominal cavity, an infection grew over time and by the time I really felt the symptoms, I was in acute distress and needed emergency surgery and spent 6 days in the hospital.
It is the one thing that after six years I still freak out if I think hubby's finger or a sex toy is going from ass anywhere near vagina. It will completely ruin the mood for me. We are very careful to keep anal and vaginal play very seperate!
So y'all who are warming up back door heaven with the pinkie and working your way up to thumb, be sure they're clean before you go poking back around the front heaven!
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
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Buenaventura
Advanced Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 111
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, July 15, 2006 - 12:23 pm: |
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You,re right of coarse Weasel and I do pay a lot of attention to clenliness and not using the same fingers in both places.To be detaily fingers of right hand in pussy fingers of left hand in anus eventual thumb right hand.(Usually)Left hand also spanks!Sound like a one-armed paperhanger?? |
Bratattitude
New member
Username: Bratattitude
Post Number: 15
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, July 27, 2006 - 10:37 pm: |
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We have lots of toys but they are not really used dring spankings. My husband hardly ever gives me spankings for just fun....he really reserves them for punishment.
As for Ginger - I had it once for punishment as well. It has a nasty sting. But I have to say even if it was one of the worst 10 min ever...once it came out I was HIGHLY aroused. I'd like to try it again...maybe. |
Rosebud
New member
Username: Rosebud
Post Number: 11
Registered: 07-2006
| | Posted on Friday, July 28, 2006 - 11:07 am: |
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Hmmmm, every bit of my ass is pretty darn erotic. One of those little vibrating bullets is lots of fun, either during or apart from intercourse.
If you do wear a plug in public (also fun!), just be aware that it can get the old GI system moving. I hope I can say that without offending anyone! |
Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 966
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Friday, July 28, 2006 - 04:14 pm: |
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 That made me laugh Rosebud!! |
Pamela
New member
Username: Pamela
Post Number: 7
Registered: 07-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, July 30, 2006 - 04:02 pm: |
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It gets the GI system moving? Well that would be a total turnoff for me. In fact I can't get past that issue with any type of anal play. Maybe if I had a colonic first I'd consider it. I think I have a real hangup. |
Rosebud
New member
Username: Rosebud
Post Number: 12
Registered: 07-2006
| | Posted on Monday, July 31, 2006 - 09:26 am: |
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It's just a question of leaving a plug in for awhile, Pamela. At home, you'd just take it out.
I've never had any problem along those lines with anal play as long as the system had been emptied, in the usual way, in the relatively recent past.
I always make sure the coast is clear beforehand too.
I wouldn't call it a hangup! It's a turnoff for some and a turnon for others.
Someone will tell me if I'm being too gross, yes? |
Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 980
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, July 31, 2006 - 02:14 pm: |
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Your doing fine Rosebud!! |
Atomicpuppy
New member
Username: Atomicpuppy
Post Number: 21
Registered: 08-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 08, 2006 - 10:52 am: |
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Don't mind a bit of anal play.The wife likes it from time to time though she hates to be spanked.
Had to laugh at the thought of my wife going out in public will little jingling balls hidden away with only me knowing.Sounds quite erotic.
As most guys have some kink about giving anal to a girl,what about role reversal and letting the girl do it to you? |
Kitten
New member
Username: Kitten
Post Number: 3
Registered: 08-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, August 31, 2006 - 01:54 pm: |
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I have been thinking about this for a long time, so if I ramble a bit, I hope you will forgive me.
It has seemed to me for quite some time that anal sex has the same placein our relationship as spanking, if not more so.
I'm not sure if it's meant to be a punishment but it feels like one and I have the same type of pain, submission, euphoria that most spankos get. I would prefer a sound spanking--or both, but usually get a little spanking and a harsh anal intercourse. Usually after he's been irritated with me and drinking a little. Sometimes I protest, sometimes I want it. Sometimes I think I want it, forgetting how much it hurts or the position is wrong but he tells me to huush and eventually makes me like it. More times than not he tells me it's gross afterwards and I feel very shamed.
The weird thing is, even if it's really rough, I end up coming and fantasising about it for days afterwards.
It makes me feel very submissive and a little scared of him to. I find that it curbs my bratty behavior and I avoid him if he's drinking but that only seems to add to the excitement of it. But I wonder where will we go from here if it becomes routine? It seems to get easier in time and I'm afraid when the thrill of it is gone, will he search for someone else to break the way he's broken me? I was adamantly against it at first and begged him not to, but he did anyway and in time I got to like it and even asked for it once.
I'm very confused. Is his wanting me anal a way of asserting his dominance? Does it mean my vagina doesn't feel good? Is it really kinky or something everyone does but doesn't admit? |
Pinkcheeks
Supreme Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 773
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, August 31, 2006 - 03:44 pm: |
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oh my...
You begged him not to and he did it anyway?
Kitten, this does not sound healthy to me. He "broke" you? I cannot speak from the side of a dominant, but I don't think this is it. I can't imagine my husband making me do something that is either uncomfortable for me, hurts me, or if I say "no". I am never forced to do something - nor should you be. How can someone "make you like anal sex?". It is something that should be shared with 2 people - CONSENTUALLY. If he does this to you when he is drinking, then its not consentual.
What is kinky to some, may not be for others. I do not think a submissive woman should ever feel "scared" of her man.
You take care Kitten......this is just my 2 cents worth, but I am concerned for you 
"Do I have to be good ALL the time?"
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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 1096
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, August 31, 2006 - 06:05 pm: |
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Kitten, I'm becoming more and more concerned about you. When you say it's harsh anal intercourse when he's irritated with you and has been drinking, and that's not responsible behavior. Being drunk makes him unstable and that's not safe or sane. And the way you present your circumstances, I worry that this isn't concensual at all times.
I don't like to criticize how other people live their lives, but you have me worried. I'm afraid your relationship is abusive and you're using this lifestyle as an excuse for the abuse.
You've been in abusive relationships before so maybe you're rationalizing what he's doing as not being abuse because he doesn't hit you. Just because he doesn't punch you doesn't mean he's not hurting you in an abusive manner. Verbal abuse can be just as harmful.
When he does this to you, he's not being dominant, he's being a bully. There's a huge difference between those two things. Dominance can be achieved without ever using physical force. It's a state of mind. |
Pamela
New member
Username: Pamela
Post Number: 12
Registered: 07-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, August 31, 2006 - 08:23 pm: |
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Wow you've raised a lot of issues. I was just thinking about this myself. For me, it does start out painful at first, and my man talks to me soothingly to help me through it. It does make me feel submissive, and I do eventually get a pleasurable feeling and, yes a euphoria from it. But my man is very caring and gentle at the beginning and makes me feel secure, holding my hand and kissing me softly. He never tells me that its gross, to the contrary, he tries to assuage my fears in that area. Perhaps you should have a talk with him about it when he is not drinking about these issues. |
Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 1094
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, August 31, 2006 - 08:35 pm: |
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I have to agree with Pink on this. You should NEVER be made to do something that you don't want to do. That isn't Dominance in my opinion its just brutal.
Kitten the phrase "broken me" that just doesn't sound exciting or fun and it sure doesn't sound healthy. Just sad.
Please take care of yourself!! |
Kitten
New member
Username: Kitten
Post Number: 5
Registered: 08-2006
| | Posted on Friday, September 01, 2006 - 12:30 pm: |
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Thanks, ya'll.
I guess he was right. I am sick. Probably not capable of this or any other relationship. He's probably better off without me because he can't feel good about himself treating me this way and I am beyond 'cure' as I thrill to this type of 'abuse' more than anything else. If he were just a little more loving and gentle I probably wouldn't complain at all.
I must be pretty bad off for even ya'll to think it's abusive. I expected that from the 'professionals' but thought I might be 1/2 normal in ya'lls world. I feel liek a vampire destined to wander the foggy bog forever.
But thannks for the wake-up call. I had a nagging feeling things might not be just right but thought all in all I was probably just expecting too much.
I have a lot to think over.
As for consensual, I have mixed emotions.
About 3 months into our relationship he started playing with my anus while making love and once he stuck his pinky in a little way and I said "Please, don't." He continued a while then shifted to other things and when it was over I jumped out bed and asked him why he stuck his finger there. He said he didn't know it was there and I asked him point-blamk if wanted to do me there and he said NO like it was the most disgusting thing he'd ever heard of and I said GOOD and that was the end of it for a few weeks.
Then one night while I was blowing him he said if I kept wiggling my ass like that he was going to get him some of it, but I thought maybe I didn't' hear him right and truth told I was turned on and scared at the same time and I kept wiggling my ass. He also says he loves me once in a while when I'm in that position and says it so low I'm not sure if I heard him or not.
About a week later, after we had been fighting almost everyday and he had been drinking, I had my heels up over my head and he started inserting himself. I said "Please don't" and he told me to hush and said I'd like it and I said I didn't and it hurt and he said he'd be easy and I started crying and told him I really didn't want to and he looked me straight in the eye and asked, "You want me to get off don't you?" And I meekly said yes and asked him to please hurry because I didn't know how much I could take and he re-inserted himself and after a minute or so I started crying again and he asked me again if I wanted him to come and I looked up and he was all glowing red and sweaty and he's a big man, 6'5", all muscle and bone, blonde and his eyes turn from a mossy green to blue and at that moment they were so ice blue they were almost white and I said OK and he rared back like he was really going to jab me hard and I almost fainted with fear but to my relief he stuck it in the traditional hole and came and I collapsed shaking and strangley coming over and over again for hours without any touching or anything.
The next day he packed his stuff and left me for good. I was an emotional wreck for two months , then started dating and then he came back and said he had made a huge mistake and he loved me.
We negotiated a few things and both of us have kept to some and failed at some.
When it comes to this particular kink, I'm conflicted. He always asks and I usually say yes, though I sometimes change my mind in the middle and sometimes he stops and says we won;t ever do it again and I start missing it and dread it at the same time. I guess on second thought I was consenting, but I felt kind of coerced but I should have said NO if I meant no, and I can't belive I'm liking it once in a while. |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 1100
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, September 01, 2006 - 01:57 pm: |
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Kitten, there's nothing wrong with liking it, it's the way he takes it from you that causes concern. If you feel coerced, don't try to put a spin on it by thinking it's how a dominant man acts, because it's not. You should never feel coerced into a sexual act, no one should.
Start listening to your feelings, hon. Your feelings are important and worthy of being paid attention to. Don't sell yourself short.  |
Kitten
New member
Username: Kitten
Post Number: 6
Registered: 08-2006
| | Posted on Friday, September 01, 2006 - 02:11 pm: |
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Thanks. My feelings would be easier to listen to if they weren't constantly changing which is why I wanted this lifestyle so much. I hear it can be very grounding and stablizing. |
Pinkcheeks
Supreme Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 777
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Friday, September 01, 2006 - 02:23 pm: |
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This lifestyle deals with LOTS of feelings that change and evolve. The most important thing to have is a partner that is willing to LISTEN and be concerned with how YOU feel.
Domestic discipline, D/s, or BDSM - all can be "grounding" and "stabilizing" - but what matters is the connection the two people have with each other right from the start. Coersion into any act is just wrong.
"Do I have to be good ALL the time?"
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2637
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Friday, September 01, 2006 - 09:55 pm: |
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Kitten, he is not correct, you ARE NOT sick. We all have conflicting emotions on many subjects and that that is completely normal.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Atomicpuppy
Spanko
Username: Atomicpuppy
Post Number: 82
Registered: 08-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, September 02, 2006 - 04:57 am: |
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Hi Kitten, After reading your posts here I was not that happy.From what you have written I would be very careful as the first thing we guys are suppose to learn is that NO means NO.
(I understand that some people say it,but mean yes),but in general.
If you have asked him not to do it,begging him, and he does anyway,making you like it, then surely this would be considered as rape????????? Telling you to hush and you will like it is wrong.
There is nothing wrong with enjoying anal and this does not make you sick or unable to find anyone else.
You are not alone and never will be.I hate being judgemental as I believe that none of us should be,but you are probably better off without him not the other way round.
I'm sorry if this offends anyone here,but you are being abused and badly.
You are not conflicted either.You like anal,but it has to be done with a bit of care,loving and understanding from both partners.You feel conflicted because you fear being hurt because that's what he has got you "use to".
To hurt and make your partner cry is not good,but to re-insert it after you have told him you don't want it and it hurts is disgusting.
Everybody is entitled to change their mind,but you said sometimes he stops which means sometimes he doesn't. THIS IS NOT LOVE!!!!!!!
I could go on and on here as what you have written does not paint a pretty picture.
Put this way if my sister had told me all that you have written MY brothers and I would have paid him a visit and probably smashed his face in.I know this would be the wrong way to sort this,but it's that bad and serious.
You sound very scared of this man and it's destroying you. |
Buenaventura
Advanced Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 142
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, September 02, 2006 - 10:55 am: |
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Atomic Put very well from a mans point of view.I agree wholeheartedly with everything you write.I think having someone to share life with is one of the most important things there are but not to the extreme of entering an abusive relationship.Sometimes you have to go it alone until someone who cares for you comes along.Tough but that,s the way it is. |
Atomicpuppy
Spanko
Username: Atomicpuppy
Post Number: 86
Registered: 08-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, September 02, 2006 - 12:28 pm: |
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Hi Buenaventura,Thanks for the post.Was a little concerned I had overstepped the mark,but what I read from her is disturbing to say the least.Also I think she should go it alone and now even if it's just for her own safety and well-being. |
Kitten
New member
Username: Kitten
Post Number: 9
Registered: 08-2006
| | Posted on Monday, September 04, 2006 - 10:54 am: |
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Thanks pup. I'm on the verge of tears as I read this, knowing it's true and reminding me of the old Eagles song: "Wasted Time."
The only friend I had to talk to at the time about something so personal thought it was fairly normal. "Guys love that shit," he said. And I have been so confused about the whole thing, you can't imagine.
Guess it doen't matter anymore though. He told me the night before last to get my finances in order because he's leaving and he called another woman and told her loved her and let her know he'sd told me he was leaving.
So nothing left but the crying. |
Kitten
New member
Username: Kitten
Post Number: 10
Registered: 08-2006
| | Posted on Monday, September 04, 2006 - 11:05 am: |
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Sorry too for getting the thread off topic. Didn't realize. |
Prissietl
New member
Username: Prissietl
Post Number: 20
Registered: 07-2006
| | Posted on Monday, September 04, 2006 - 02:36 pm: |
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Kitten, sweetie, you are not the one who is" bad off" as you put it. He is such a LOSER!!! Kitten you are so much BETTER than that! He is not a dom he is an abuser. i'm new but i'm not that new!!
And i'm not judging i'm just giving you my honest opipion.
Once a princess always a princess
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Buenaventura
Advanced Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 146
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Monday, September 04, 2006 - 11:51 pm: |
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And you,re not off topic honey we,re all concerned about you.hope you can work it out and find someone worthwhile. |
Kitten
New member
Username: Kitten
Post Number: 13
Registered: 08-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 05, 2006 - 10:46 am: |
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i had to stop the submissive stuff. i spemt half of yesterday praying and asking the lord for guidance and spent half the night drinking and found the strength to tell him to leave and it turned out he didn't want to. so we came to an agreement and i realized he needs me to be an equal power, the doormat thing just doesn't work for us.
thanks.
i feel better now. |
Atomicpuppy
Spanko
Username: Atomicpuppy
Post Number: 100
Registered: 08-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 05, 2006 - 11:37 am: |
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Glad you read my post kitten. I'm only trying to help as your siuation was bad.
Asking for guidance is not a problem.Its spotting the guidance that you need as it can come from anywhere.
Please be careful,don't let him push you around(physically or mentally)and do what you feel is right.Deep down you will know the answer.
Also be careful about the drinking,it can lead to more problems and I'm sure God would not want you to drink to solve any.
As you have realised there are people out there that care. Be Safe.
p.s.It's a pleasure to help,anytime. |
Ladygator2904
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ladygator2904
Post Number: 264
Registered: 03-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 05, 2006 - 07:26 pm: |
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Me too kitten, I care.. email me anytime
A woman`s heart may be filled with an ocean of secrets but mine have all been released and I have a sore bottom to prove it!
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Admin
Board Administrator
Username: Admin
Post Number: 199
Registered: 03-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 21, 2012 - 11:07 pm: |
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Please only post if you have something to add to this discussion. |
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