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Beachley
Spanko
Username: Beachley
Post Number: 72
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 09:05 am: | 
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Just a passing thought --
What do you do when you feel that some areas in your life need controlled more. Some areas of your life or things you do or don't do should fall within discipline guidelines?
However your Top/Dom does not agree with you and feels that you are perfectly able to handle these areas without any interference from him.
Where do you go from there?
The Spice of Life is having my OWN WAY!! A spanking would be nice.
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 208
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 11:45 pm: |
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Perhaps Mr.B is uncomfortable with real discipline in the household? It's one thing to play at it, and quite another to be willing to dish it out. And are you sure he understands how important this is to you? And that your struggling with keeping things under control?
I know he reads your stories, perhaps you could write a short one that adresses this issue?
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
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Beachley
Spanko
Username: Beachley
Post Number: 73
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 09:46 am: |
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Yes - part of my problem is that I'm not sure I even want it as such. He has enough control when he wants to use it as it is. (hint remember the situation in Toronto and the pulling me into the hotel room, telling me to keep out of it). I just know that at times I need it to stop me from doing things I should not be doing. However, for it to be effective it would have to be something that I don't like in order for me to think before acting. I'm not sure I want to go there either.
I'll think I'll stew about it somemore.
The Spice of Life is having my OWN WAY!! A spanking would be nice.
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 210
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 07:44 pm: |
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Ok, let me know what you decide on. 
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
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Beachley
Spanko
Username: Beachley
Post Number: 74
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 09:24 pm: |
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I just decided to let it lie, as I just got an attitude adjustment spanking. Bright pink would describe my bottom about now. LOL
Well if nothing else it certainly calmed me down. And guess what Mr. B noticed this change and calming affect. I don't think I want to stir the hornets nest just yet.  I might get stung more than I want. 
The Spice of Life is having my OWN WAY!! A spanking would be nice.
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Kennysspankee
New member
Username: Kennysspankee
Post Number: 28
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 11:23 pm: |
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If you've never been taken WELL BEYOND what you can handle you should ask for a sample punishment spanking. Then decide if you want to go there. |
Beachley
Spanko
Username: Beachley
Post Number: 75
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, June 24, 2005 - 08:27 am: |
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Any time I even begin to reach the point of tears he will stop spanking. By that time I'm usually ready to stop also. But that does not necessarily mean it is the best thing to do.
But I'm not sure I want to explore any further either.
The Spice of Life is having my OWN WAY!! A spanking would be nice.
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Kennysspankee
New member
Username: Kennysspankee
Post Number: 29
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Friday, June 24, 2005 - 07:30 pm: |
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I've never cried either, but I've been taken to where I felt out of control of the situation and out of control of myself, a feeling of panic the fear of losing my control (over not crying). He's done that 3 times and didn't go too far beyond that panicky feeling. He must have judged by the crescendo I reached. The first time was with the Vermont Bath Brush, second was with a loopy cane, third was with leather straps, the London Tanner ruler strap being the line crosser. I still wonder what it would be like to go past that panicky point, past my control to whatever comes next. Tears? I don't know if my husband would do a punishment spanking either. I'd like him to for some situations, mostly for a cleansing of guilty feelings and closure and forgiveness of the incident. I've had a few hard and fast bum scorchers with a paddle when I was feeling and acting bitchy, but they never went to that panicky point even. A couple of times I felt I had hurt his feelings and he really didn't deserve that treatment. I felt I needed that then. I hated myself for doing that. We've been best friends in our marriage, we never fought or argued (married 34 years). I just got in a mood a few times in the last year and felt out of control of myself. |
Fanny
Supreme Spanko
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 647
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, June 25, 2005 - 09:37 am: |
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Last night was one of those times I think maybe you are referring to. When emotions run very high and life gets a bit out of control, and what do you do? R travels for business, he always has and it is part of our life routine. He decided to give me a playful type of spanking to remind me to behave while he is gone. The timing was bad for me, I was not in a playful mood, it was 11:30 pm and I got upset with him. I went into the bedroom and slammed the door. (Well, kinda, sorta like in his face) R got angry, I was not happy and I told him flat out that I wanted this spanking thing to STOP. He asked me to be sure before I made this decision as it would change the dynamics of our relationship completely. I was positive I did not want this any longer. My body, my responsibility and I would answer to no-one, the end. At the very first R thought I was playing with him, but realized quickly that I was serious. He went into his home office and I tossed and turned in bed. Two hours went by and we were at a stand off. I didn't want him to leave while this black cloud was hanging over us. Finally I came downstairs and asked him if he was planning on spending all night at his desk, his answer was "possibly". He asked me again if this was my final decision, I held firm. You may think I was being stubborn, but I truly felt that way at that time. It wasn't an arguement but my belief. Another hour of tossing and turning. R finally made the decision and took a risk, he wasn't going to leave under these circumstances. He calmly pulled a squirming, kicking me out of bed and said "I am not relinquishing control, this is an agreement we made years ago and I don't believe you are thinking sensibly right now." I am physically a strong person, but R is more so. He flipped me OTK even with my struggling. Surprisingly easily and more infuriating to me. Using "just" his hand it took about 10 minutes before the tears started flowing and I was able to release my anger. R gave me a minute to catch my breath and continued with part two. I suddenly remembered why we had started this whole spanking relationship in the first place. R knows me better than I sometimes know myself and he knew that I had just built up a barrier to block all my emotions. He took it upon himself to knock that barrier down, and it went tumbling. Afterwards a very contrite and reddened me was tucked into bed with a kiss. Fifteen minutes passed and my sobs stopped, I reached over to R lying next to me in bed. I asked him if he could "love" me as hard as he had spankied me. He didn't hestitate, and it was VERY good.
"Queen of Innocence"
"oooooo", she says!!
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Beachley
Spanko
Username: Beachley
Post Number: 76
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, June 25, 2005 - 11:14 am: |
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Ah Fanny - that is partly what spanking is all about in my opinion. It is fun and playful, but it can also be the tool needed to get two people over a rough spot and ground them both again.
I had one of those spanking last fall when Mr. B was traveling so much with work and it was becoming harder and harder to watch him go. So I decided to distance myself from the relationship so it would not be so hard to say goodbye all the time. He did not think my solution was a good one and after being bent over the chair 3 times, I got my bottom warmed. I kept bouncing up when I could not take anymore, he would hug me but push me back down over the chair saying we weren't finished yet and continued to paddle with the CB paddle until he was satisfied that he had paddled my idea of distancing right out of my head.
That will be 1 year in August, maybe I just need a remind of that type of spanking again.
The Spice of Life is having my OWN WAY!! A spanking would be nice.
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Fanny
Supreme Spanko
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 649
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, June 25, 2005 - 11:47 am: |
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I'm glad to hear you understand Beachley. When you are so emotionally attached to someone, forced separations become hard at times, and it seems easier to build up that wall. It takes whatever necessary to keep a good relationship going especially when one person cannot see what they are doing.
hmmm.....almost a year....I would think a reminder should be in order.
"Queen of Innocence"
"oooooo", she says!!
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