| Author |
Message |
    
Julie
New member
Username: Julie
Post Number: 2
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Friday, October 13, 2006 - 01:00 pm: | 
|
Hello everybody!
I just introduced myself on the meet and greet bored but thought I'd tell you all about myself here. It is so great to have found a place that I can talk about this without feeling crazy. Well, I have been married for 5 years. I have been into spanking for as long as I can even remember. I haven't been able to tell my husband about my secret desires to be in a DD relationship until recently. H ehas always known that I am into erotic spanking and he is too but it took a while before I could tell him that I wanted so much more than that. I told him about DD a few months ago and he was not totally oppossed to the idea, he actually admitted that the idea of it turned him on. He just had a really hard time with punishing me and he was afraid of hurting me. So we tried and failed and abandoned the whole idea :o( But just this past weekend I decided that DD is what I want and that is what Ia m going to get. I told him the same day that I want to start the spanking againa and I want it to be real this time! So Mon-thurs I have been sending him things to read and stories and we actually read some together. He is really into it this time and I think it might work. He is turned on by having the authority over me and punishing me when I am bad but he still has the fear of hurting me and is still getting used to the idea od actually punishing me. He gave me a spanking last night for something stupid I had done earlier in the week and it was a good one. It was OTK and it really hurt. He didn't get me to that breaking point or to the point of tears or anything but it was pretty darn close. I think he will improve over time and I am feeling really good about things this time around. I will keep you all posted on the progress of our new DD relationship :o)
Julie |
Pinkcheeks
Supreme Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 915
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 13, 2006 - 01:30 pm: |
|
Hi Julie 
Sounds like you and hubby are finding DD exciting - and I am sure it will be beneficial to your marriage if that is what the two of you want. "R" and I have been married a longggggggggg time, and just recently started the spanking lifestyle (about 3 years now). We don't practice true DD, as most of our spankings are erotic in nature. But that does not mean my husband won't spank me if I truly deserve it.
I am sure there are many folks on this board who practice DD and can give you lots of great advice.
Happy to have you here and keep us posted!!
"Do I have to be good ALL the time?"
|
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2819
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 13, 2006 - 01:32 pm: |
|
Great for you, Julie. I think one of the main parts of keeping a DD relationship real is understanding and accepting the fact that he is trying to help you. Therefore if you want him to stay interested in the idea, you need to accept correction from him even if you don't necessarily want to and also to show that the spankings are motivating you to improve.
I find that getting me to a breaking point or to tears is not the main result I'm looking for. I find the most effective way of self improvement is the remorse I feel when I know I made a bad decision or disappointed my husband (and myself) with my behavior.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
|
Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 1349
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 13, 2006 - 02:20 pm: |
|
Hi Julie
My husband and I have been together for almost 6 years and we live a D/D lifestyle. It works for us but like Fanny said you have to be acceepting and you also need to keep the lines of communication open at all times.
Spanking can be a great motivator, at least it is for me. Some days I'm just in a funk and a good spanking sure helps!!
Good luck to you!! |
Zippo
Prime Spanko
Username: Zippo
Post Number: 1686
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 13, 2006 - 02:50 pm: |
|
Hi Julie and welcome to the Den. I agree with the other posts and since you are relatively new to this lifestyle, I would suggest that you incorporate a safeword ease your husbands fears of injuring you. I had the same reservations, and using a safeword allowed her to acheive what she wanted, while I knew if it got to be too much for her, she had the option of saying okay too much. Good communnication between the both of you is paramount as you discover what it is that you want, or need. Just remember to be safe and always operate from a stance of love.
The Brat Tamer...changing brats attitudes one smack at a time
|
Julie
New member
Username: Julie
Post Number: 3
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Friday, October 13, 2006 - 02:53 pm: |
|
Thanks guys! Yeah I need a safe word, to bad I will probably never use it, hehe. But its good to have and it will probably make him feel better. Thanks guys and I will keep you all posted! |
Blushingbride
New member
Username: Blushingbride
Post Number: 6
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Friday, October 13, 2006 - 08:11 pm: |
|
I'm also pretty new to this, but we already have worked out that we HAD to have a safe word. It doesn't even always mean we have to stop all together, but that we need to pause and discuss what's going on.
Sometimes it's been too much, but mostly it's been somethign minor. Like I've squirmed to a point that I am now straining my back - which I've had a couple serious injuries to and need to protect. So then it's safe-word, pause to reposition, and then resume.
I know it also helps hubby to feel that he doesn't need to worry about harming me, and it helps my trust to know from experience that he'll stop if I really need him to. |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2820
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 13, 2006 - 08:46 pm: |
|
BB, if you have back injuries please be extra careful. I would suggest that you go OTK while he is sitting on the edge of a bed so at least your upper body is stable. Or at least use a chair that is close enough to a bed that you can rest your upper body on it. It is still the same effect but much less strain on your back then when your head is not dangling.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
|
Blushingbride
New member
Username: Blushingbride
Post Number: 9
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Friday, October 13, 2006 - 09:48 pm: |
|
TY for advice fanny. We usually are on the bed, so I am supported, but I tend to wiggle and squirm have been known to end up dangling a bit anyway. He says he likes to know I'm reacting, so doesn't want me to try to avoid moving, but we also need to be aware that if I get out of position we need to take the break and fix it. |
Wilson
New member
Username: Wilson
Post Number: 2
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, October 14, 2006 - 08:34 pm: |
|
Welcome!
Take all the advice with the filter of making your lifestyle YOURS ! You will here a lot of things that may not be right for you...then again...
Go slow and gather information, most of all filter information with what you want in mind.
DD is rules (for ones good) with expected consquences for mis-behaviour.
Go slow and have and have a spanking good time!}
Good spankings are SUPPOSED to hurt !
|
Nicenick06
Advanced Spanko
Username: Nicenick06
Post Number: 149
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, October 15, 2006 - 08:24 am: |
|
Zippo’s safe word is a good idea. But there are two safe words necessary.
1)I have had enough.
2)Let’s pause for a break and then continue.
For me there is sometimes me or my partner the need to say please rub before you continue.
As for position I think over the knee but fully on the bed is a good position even if squirming take place.
Nick |
Ladygator2904
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ladygator2904
Post Number: 281
Registered: 03-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, October 15, 2006 - 07:57 pm: |
|
Safe word is a Must. I like the yellow, red rule. Dont worry about learning the lifestyle, hubby and I have been at it for about 6 months now and the learning is fun and ongoing. ^5`s to you and welcome to the den
A woman`s heart may be filled with an ocean of secrets but mine have all been released and I have a sore bottom to prove it!
|
Julie
New member
Username: Julie
Post Number: 4
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Monday, October 16, 2006 - 09:05 am: |
|
Thank you everybody! All great advice, I will definetely use it all :o)
Thanks! |
Katie_spades
Supreme Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 715
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 16, 2006 - 04:42 pm: |
|
Well Julie, welcome to the site and congratulations! Glad to see you posting and keep us all informed!
xoxo,
Kate
The Princess of Spanking™
|
Spanking Discussion Area