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Tmichellebrat
Advanced Spanko
Username: Tmichellebrat
Post Number: 144
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, October 28, 2006 - 12:51 am: | 
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It has been awhile since I have posted due to being really busy with life and such but I am back and I have an important question! I am in a long distance D/s relationship with a very special man , we see each other about every four months so it's hard to do actual spankings and such so he has started to do non-corporal punishments when needed. I have a very serious eating disorder and although I have recovered from it there are still times when I binge and purge and I really hate myself for doing it...so he has decided to punish me for it if I do it ...the other nite I was on the phone with him and we were discussing something that upset me so I decided to head to the kitchen for some good old southern comfort and I had two scoops of icecream and I even told him what I was doing which upset him to say the least. He told me to write 500 lines saying I will not binge...I blatantly told him with an attitude that I was not going to do them. Now at the time I did not tell him why I wasn't going to do them but in my mind I was thinking "hey I am not binging, I am just simply having some icecream"...I feel that I DID NOT binge but he says BS ...well I was mad and I still am mad about it. I did not want to do those darn lines and it took me five days to get them done because I was procrastinating them big time because I felt that the punishment was not fair. I know what binging is and it's not eating two scoops of icecream. Was this a fair punishment? He believes that my health is very important therefore he takes it very serious when I eat wrong or eat to hurt myself. I am always pretty good about taking my punishements if I deserve them but I felt that I did not deserve this one and that is why I had an attitude through the whole thing ...he says I am lucky that he wasn't here at the time because I would have gotten spanked for this...anyone's opinon on this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. }} |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 1185
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, October 28, 2006 - 02:50 am: |
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Tmichelle, you may not want to hear my opinion, but I've been there and done that with your type of disorder so I have an idea of what you're dealing with. It's not about what you ate or how much, it's the attitude with which you consumed that ice cream that is the problem.
You said it yourself, you were upset and indulged in "some good old southern comfort." The issue isn't the food at that point, it's the fact that you turned to eating for comfort during an emotional moment. You need to deal with your emotions and not turn to food to deflect or soothe your feelings. That may be why he felt you needed his correction; you were indulging for comfort. That's usually the first step down a slippery slope. Like I said, been there and done that.
I don't know about how well punishments will help you with your eating problems if you're not ready to accept his opinion on your situation. You may need help in a more professional setting in order to fully deal with your issues with food, along with as his support.
You really need to discuss this with him. Tell him how much you resent the punishment and why, then listen to what he says. You're not going to be able to get past this completely until you talk it out. Being able to discuss this sort of thing is what makes a successful D/s relationship work. You should never seriously feel like you were unjustly punished. That breeds distrust of your dominant and will eventually eat away at your relationship.
Talk to him! |
Blushingbride
New member
Username: Blushingbride
Post Number: 15
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, October 28, 2006 - 02:35 pm: |
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I think I have to echo Bethie here, but from a different perspective. I'm a nurse that has worked with eating disorders.
While I do have some sympathy for your statements that 2 scoops of ice cream isn't binging, it really is about the attitude that "I'm upset so I'll eat" that leads to the disorder. So I can also see why he felt this was a punnishable situation.
But the fact that you feel it was unfair is something you need to discuss with your man so that this doesn't become a regular occurrance. Trust is so critical in our relationships, that it would be a shame if this dammaged your trust of him when he's trying to help you.
Good luck with both issues! |
Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 1430
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 06:39 pm: |
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Ok...years ago I was bulimic and I still have to be careful when it comes to "comfort food". I do sometimes indulge when I'm depressed but I keep it down. Thankfully, I haven't had a reason to indulge for a very long time. I LOVE ice cream! And I give it to myself as a reward when I feel I have been good and deserve to treat myself.
I think here that although it was only 2 scoops...what was the actual reason for having it? Was it for comfort or for just a simple reason that you wanted to have some ice cream? When you decide the reason, then you can discuss with him if the punishment fits the crime.
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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