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Chinnook
New member
Username: Chinnook
Post Number: 8
Registered: 11-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, November 16, 2006 - 08:03 pm: | 
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Since the holidays are here does anyone have and good advice to deal with those type of in-laws that don't want you to be with your other half. I have a horrible time dealing with them. The snide comments and dirty looks get right underneath my skin. |
Blushingbride
New member
Username: Blushingbride
Post Number: 26
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, November 16, 2006 - 08:28 pm: |
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I think this depends on how your hubby handles the situation, and how much time you need to spend with them.
I know how frustrating and hurtful this can be, as I have had to deal with this since hubbyand I were first dating (13 years all together) and I wouldn't be with him because of it if he weren't so supportive of me through this.
My personal tactic is to be overly polite and helpful so they have no reason to gripe at me to my face. I know I'm being phony, and so does hubby, but it keeps things from boiling over. I just smile sweetly and think the nasty things at them in my head. But hubby also agrees that they are being unreasonable and so we spend much more time with my family than with his. |
Pinkcheeks
Supreme Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 981
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Friday, November 17, 2006 - 06:08 am: |
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You get snide comments and dirty looks? wow...I think that is terrible! Especially around the holidays
I agree with BB, how does your hubby handle the situation? Has he spoken to his family members about how it makes you feel?
Blushingbride would handle the situation SO MUCH better then me!!  I have a bit of a temper, and I know that if I were given snide comments and dirty looks, my mouth would certainly respond back...lol~~
I think the best bet is to talk to your husband about how this makes you feel. If it is absolutely necessary that you seem then for any part of the holiday season, you may have to "buck up" and play it cool......then spend LOTS of time with the people you love (and who love you).
Good luck, hon.
"Do I have to be good ALL the time?"
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Chinnook
New member
Username: Chinnook
Post Number: 9
Registered: 11-2006
| | Posted on Friday, November 17, 2006 - 12:57 pm: |
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Well I have decided to go to a friends house for dinner on Turkey Day because his family all gathers at his godfather's house. I actually have 3 mother in-laws. There is his real mom and then his godfather's wife those are the two I am having problems with. The other which is his step mom her and I love each other dearly. They hate me, infact me and my other half, Jay, got into a diagreement because I told him they hate me and was telling oh no they don't. Well to make a long story short something happen and he heard just how they really felt about me, It wasn't that they actually said anything to him you could just hear it in thier voice. We orignally had plans to go to his sister's for Turkey Day but his mom decided to fly up from GA. So now he is obligated to go to the godfather's house because he has his kids and doesn't want them not to see everyone. He totally understands why I refuse to go there. He doesn't believe in arguing with kids around and that is when the snide comments and dirty looks start or they wait and corner me when no one is around. I have kept my cool for over a year and a half now biting my tongue. I told him I couldn't promise that I can keep my cool so I rather stay away. So now the two witches are even more mad because he is only going out there for dinner and then picking me up and go to his sister's for desert. The godmother in-law tried to stike up a conversation about me coming for Turkey Day with one of the kids standing right there to Jay. She assummed I was coming out and Jay told her No and she proceed to ask why right in front of the child. Jay just flung her a look. Now she had told his real mom she hurt cause I am not coming out for dinner. They play mind games, I could handle one on my own but not two. |
Blushingbride
New member
Username: Blushingbride
Post Number: 29
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Friday, November 17, 2006 - 11:41 pm: |
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Ouch! 3 MIL's, that's tough, even if you get along with them, let alone the way things stand.
I think (for whatever it's worth) that you're making it clear that you don't need to put up with their behavior, but it would be even better in the long run if Jay did what my hubby did - refuse to attend family gatherings unless they were at least civil and polite with me.
Once he made it clear that their behavior was not okay with him, then they backed off. now it's still not a warm cozy family, but we are all able to be civil and get along. But the key is the fact that that came from him, not from me.
Good luck with the whole season.  |
Docben
Spanko
Username: Docben
Post Number: 59
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 22, 2006 - 09:19 pm: |
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What's the difference between inlaws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted! |
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