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Superbrat
New member
Username: Superbrat
Post Number: 6
Registered: 11-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 22, 2006 - 01:30 am: | 
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I am not new to the whole spanko scene, and have been happily married for 8 years...But if someone knows how I can communicate to him that he is too QUIET and way too easy on me. How do you tell someone you need to hear more "talk" when they are basically a shy person? He would go to the ends of the world to make me @#A....have fun...but he is so quiet! I can say things like, "Is that all you got?" and he'll increase the intensity....but not with speech. Short of writing scripts, what can a girl do? |
Blushingbride
New member
Username: Blushingbride
Post Number: 31
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 22, 2006 - 02:29 am: |
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The first thing that comes to mind is... show him this thread. Discuss this when you are not in the middle of things. Explain what you want from him and how you feel about the lack of "talk". Listen to what he says about it, he may have issues about talking harshly or lecturing you. But in the heat of the moment, if you ask then, he may feel really uncomfortable, and upset that he is disappointing you but not be able to explain why.
The longer I've been here, especially when I was lurking, that seemed to be the number 1 piece of advice shared - because it works. Discuss, discuss, discuss.
Good luck! |
Superbrat
New member
Username: Superbrat
Post Number: 10
Registered: 11-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 22, 2006 - 03:19 am: |
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Thanks for that. I couldn't show him this thread because I am afraid he would think I am....too weird...to go online and seek out such a group. He isn't a reader. I have to read everything to him unless it pertains to work. Maybe, if I could call him on the cell phone...earlier in the day and tell him how horny I am...then say "I have been bad" in another phone call later. Then a note at the door describing all of my misdeeds (aka a note to the principal since that is the usual game we play and he is accustommed)and be appropriately dressed. I am thinking out loud here. Guess I'd have to lay it all out - complete with all the toys in our home office I wanted him to use. I could make this happen I am sure. The problem is that he will DO ANYTHING but say the lines. I guess I could really protest the punishment, and chew gum in his face (he hates that!)then throw in a few choice curse words. I can physically elicit the responses - but he is still quiet. Isn't there a video - like a how to really scold a bad girl - or something? Anything he watches, he'll retain and script out rather easily.
Nice to meet you all. I AIN'T NEW at this. Just trying to fine tune certain areas if you know what I mean!!! I want it to be his idea sometimes, and it never is. I always have to ask for it. |
Pinkcheeks
Supreme Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 986
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 22, 2006 - 06:54 am: |
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I know that for me bratting never works - but long discussions do. Or maybe you just have one quiet guy on your hands  - You seem to have come up with some pretty good ideas of your own (the calls, notes, toys)- Maybe he just feels "strange" saying the words you want to hear - you say he is basically a shy guy - it might take him awhile to understand and do what you want.
Blushingbride is right - take time to discuss this issue with him but not "in the heat of the moment".
Good luck~~ 
"Do I have to be good ALL the time?"
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Wilson
New member
Username: Wilson
Post Number: 15
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 22, 2006 - 07:40 am: |
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Is it SCOLDING that you want ? 
Is it more punishment attitude ?
Is it a harder/longer/, more severe ? 
I suggest you let him Know. Tell him that spanking you, is how he can demonistrate his love for you. 
I wrote my wife two different letters letting her know what I expect, and both times she wanted to talk it over. It improved our communication with each other, and, improved our spanking.....OH did it ever ! 
Good spankings are SUPPOSED to hurt !
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Buenaventura
Advanced Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 328
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 22, 2006 - 07:49 am: |
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The hardest part of spanking for me is just that!For me it,s too much fun to get relly serious about it but I,ve learned from my spankee and I,m getting pretty good at it.Everything that everybody else and you have said is valuable.Remember a lot of men have a hard time communicating.Try telling him he,s an actor while he,s spanking you annd role play the part.Tell him it can be fun!! |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2936
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 22, 2006 - 12:26 pm: |
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I am sorry to tell you this, but my husband is not a talker either. I have been trying to get him to open up for decades. It is just his personality and I can't expect him to change any more than I would want him to expect me to change my personality.
It sounds as if you are an outgoing type and he just may not be. Worse things could happen.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Ma_vie_en_rose
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ma_vie_en_rose
Post Number: 301
Registered: 01-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 22, 2006 - 01:10 pm: |
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There might not be a video "how to scold a girl" that I'm aware of, but if you keep an eye out for spanking movies that have a lot of scolding in them and show them to him, maybe you could comment on the scolding and he'd warm up to it? |
Superbrat
New member
Username: Superbrat
Post Number: 11
Registered: 11-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 22, 2006 - 02:09 pm: |
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Hello again to all. Feel really funny signing onhere from work! LOL! I love all the advice and will certainly try to have a discussion. I am not sure DD is what I want (in response to a PM)because he worships the ground I walk on and I can do no wrong really! Think I like the pedestal in other words! Yes, I am very outgoing, which is what attracted him to me. He is too shy to even order for himself in a retaurant, so "talking" is an issue for him I guess. I thought maybe in the bedroom I could get him to open up, and I see everyone's point about the discussion I need to have. Oh and Bueuna - the only way I can get him to talk at all is through acting. I really like everything you said and did with your new chick in Guatemala! Sounds like you are having a great time! DOn't get me wrong...we have a great time also. I just know it could REALLY be great and I am trying to gently coax the behaviour I want out of him EVERY time we involve spanking into our sexual activity. I like the "attitude" men have I guess during the DD spankings, or I guess it is called a basic punishment spanking. He "acts" a part sometimes, but I guess what I am saying is that it's not severe enough, and I don't feel "punished" at the end. I wouldn't even KNOW how to ask for "corner time" though I would love it. I would like to prolong the whole thing but it is all usually over within a half an hour. Sorry, don't mean to ramble. It really is difficult to "define" exactly what I want that I am not getting. Thank you all so much for your attention. I am googling for video's! We have a few from Shadowlane already. He wouldn't watch something that didn't have sex in it, or penetration of some sort. They used to offer one that had a cop and girl that involved sex also. Will have to look for that one in their list. If anyone finds one like I am looking for, let me know. May print the "Adventures of Buenaventura" if I get the nerve and show it to him}}. |
Buenaventura
Advanced Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 330
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 22, 2006 - 02:43 pm: |
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Ge thanks Brat and I hope it works. |
Nd2bspankd
Spanko
Username: Nd2bspankd
Post Number: 72
Registered: 11-2006
| | Posted on Friday, December 15, 2006 - 01:07 pm: |
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Superbrat, my hubby is a quiet, gentle man. I had him read through here, and he even posted a few times, and was I surprised how well he took to it. Your man might surprise you, too. He didn't think I was "weird" at all. He loves it now and I have to tell him to be quieter. ha ha Maybe just tell him it really adds to the pleasure for you for him to be more vocal. Good luck!
"It's not easy being pink...er, I mean, green."
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Wolfie
Prime Spanko
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1881
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, December 15, 2006 - 02:22 pm: |
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How about asking him questions while he's spanking you? Warn him that you want him to interact with you more during a spanking...and will help him by asking him questions as the spanking goes on.
Such as:
Why am I being spanked?
What did I do?
Was I very naughty?
Are you just going to use your hand?
Your not using the hairbrush are you?
Are you almost finished?
Why do I have to stand in the corner?
Are you very mad at me?
Am I in trouble?
Am I getting a spanking?
Was I being a brat?
I am very verbal during a spanking, but this seems like a good way to help a guy open up and talk to you. You ask the question, he answers it and you respond. Then ask another question. Like...
Am I in big trouble?
Yes, youve been very naughty and your in big trouble.
Ohhhhhhhh...
Am I getting a spanking?
Yes, go stand in the corner right now, I'll spank you when I think you've been there long enough.
I dont wanna stand in the corner
I dont care, go NOW!
See?
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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