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Prissietl
Spanko
Username: Prissietl
Post Number: 94
Registered: 07-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, December 21, 2006 - 12:11 pm: | 
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OK Ya'll i was wondering if this happened to any of you.
We started spanking at my request, and hubby enjoys it as much as i do.
But now i have done something VERY bad (not drugs or unfaithful bad) that has effected my family in a HUGE way, and it is ALL because of MY irresponsibility.
This may be a little unusual to some of you but its perfect for us .. i have 2 people I answer to (my hubby and a Dom friend of both mine and hubby's that is mentoring us,.... only hubby spanks me)
Now with that said, both my tops have said I needed to take a punishment spanking from hubby because of the seriousness of what happened.
For the first time I had to agree my irresponsibility has gotten out of hand, so I submitted and took it.
So i guess what i'm trying to ask is have any of you started out with spanking as just erotic fun and it ended up as a DD lifestyle, if so how did it work out for you, did it help?
Once a princess always a princess
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3021
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Friday, December 22, 2006 - 12:21 am: |
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I live a DD lifestyle that started out as just erotic spanking, so I will give my slant on it.
Firstly, I want to comment that I hope that more than submitting to the spanking you also consented to it. I know it may seem like just a choice of wording, but it is important.
In my relationship choosing DD was a long work in process. It took a lot of research, discussion and actually writing out what we both expected and wanted from the lifestyle. At first it started out with a 6 month trial period and then we discussed it again and made some modifications. I happen to respond well to a disciplinary spanking and am only held responsible for the actions that we agreed upon in advance. No changing in mid stream. Things for me need to be clearly defined with no surprise consequences. There also needs to be a mutual respect maintained between us at all times.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Prissietl
Spanko
Username: Prissietl
Post Number: 96
Registered: 07-2006
| | Posted on Friday, December 22, 2006 - 10:15 am: |
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Yes Fanny I did consent to it. I really screwd up bad and knew I deserved it.
And I also trust my tops to never misuse my trust.
This time I knew they were right, it is the first time I have ever thought I needed to be punished, but I had to agree this time.
My screw up could have really effected my kids in a bad way, so I really think I need this.
I never in a million years thought i'd be given a punishmet spanking, but what my irresponsiblity brought on was unacceptable.
Once a princess always a princess
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Ladygator2904
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ladygator2904
Post Number: 297
Registered: 03-2006
| | Posted on Friday, December 22, 2006 - 09:03 pm: |
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Yup my first husband and I started and remained with erotic spankngs but when I read about the dd lifestyle and asked my second husband to oblige me he was happy too! I miss the erotic spankings but thats too long a story for the den  
A woman`s heart may be filled with an ocean of secrets but mine have all been released and I have a sore bottom to prove it!
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Blushingbride
New member
Username: Blushingbride
Post Number: 46
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, December 24, 2006 - 11:00 am: |
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We started erotic spankings when we came home from our honeymoon. But since then we have discussed having some DD since I have been punnishing myself with guilt etc for what even I can see are minor things. So we have started having some punnishment spanking for things that I would otherwise be unable to let go of. |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3024
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 26, 2006 - 01:51 am: |
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Priss....I live a DD lifestyle so don't take this the wrong way. If you did something that has really effected your family and could have had a negative impact on your children, you really need to evaluate your lifestyle. I don't think a spanking is going to solve this type of issue.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Prissietl
Spanko
Username: Prissietl
Post Number: 98
Registered: 07-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 27, 2006 - 10:17 am: |
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Yes Fanny, you are right. I am making a change, for the better. I am being much more responsible.
What I did could NOT have brought ANY harm to my kids in anyway...... but.... could have had a negative impact on them.
It is a simple thing really, not drugs, or drinking, or fighting.
I live a very clean lifestlye.
It is just a matter of being more responsible, and setting a better example by doing so.
Thanks for caring Fanny.
Once a princess always a princess
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Buenaventura
Advanced Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 393
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 27, 2006 - 01:57 pm: |
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Don,t you think Fanny that a spanking can lead to a change in life style? And that maybe that,s the whole point? |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3025
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 27, 2006 - 05:21 pm: |
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Yes, Buena I do think a spanking can HELP lead to a change in lifestyle. However I do not think it is a easy way out to ease guilt.
When someone states he/she had done something "VERY bad" that "has effected the family in a "HUGE way", in my opinion more is needed to be done to correct the situation.
I am not referring to Priss at the moment, but we have had members who have put other people's lives at risk with their behavior and then feel that a spanking solves the problem. A mature adult knows that more action than that is needed.
But, going back to the topic, I was the first one to post that I believe that a DD lifestyle can be very effective in working towards a positive change in lifestyle. I also answered the question posted that I am one who started out in erotic spankings that moved on to disciplinary spankings and it does work with me. We also need to keep in mind that DD is not just about spankings, but also about being accountable for our actions. For example if I was addicted to alcohol, I would hope that I wouldn't believe that it could not be solved by being spanked every time I drank. When the situation is serious, one has to take the correct steps towards getting immediate help from the correct people. Spankings can work to aid relatively minor/average lifestyle changes but it is not a cure-all.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3026
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 27, 2006 - 05:36 pm: |
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P.S.
Since everyone here pretty much knows just about everything about me, including my bum size, I have no problem with being open. I happen to be a terrible sleeper, skip meals and push myself past my limits whenever I think I can get away with it. This has been a part of my personality for decades. Last year when I started my fight against an incurable cancer, I fully admit, my habits were too ingrained in me to deal with on my own. Spankings have helped remind me that I am not invinsible and have been extremely helpful in reminding me of my limitations. The short term consequences of a spanking have kept to the forefront of my mind long term consequences of my behavior on my health. That is not to say that I have not incorporated a team of doctors including a psychologist to also help me.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Buenaventura
Advanced Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 394
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 27, 2006 - 10:06 pm: |
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I think once you get into spanking you have made a life style change,a very big one.I think people use it for minor things like always being late or being inconsiderate of loved ones(as is the case of my spankee)or for more serious things like giving up smoking for instance.In the end I think it,s a tool to help you modify undesirable behavior. |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 1208
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, December 28, 2006 - 12:33 am: |
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As you might know, Daniel is the HOH (head of household) but we don't necessarily lead a strict domestic discipline lifestyle. I've done that in the past and it worked then but Dan and I both enjoy spanking for erotic reasons so discipline isn't the focus for us. It still happens, but it's not the main aspect of our relationship. I thought I'd mention this before I expressed my opinions on this subject. 
I think Fanny is addressing the problem we often come across here when a person has a discipline fetish and craves discipline for discipline itself. That person doesn't necessarily want to change their behavior, they just want to be disciplined. They'll even go out of their way to misbehave so they will be disciplined.
To that type of spanko, discipline equals love, security, and a lot of other feelings which they enjoy. And even though spankos in DD relationships might have entered into disciplinary relationships for the same reasons, they equate the actual use of discipline as a negative experience, not a positive one. It's the framework and security of a disciplinary relationship they enjoy, not the punishment spankings.
Spankos with a discipline fetish crave the use of discipline and feel its use is a positive result. Because of that, they don't have the motivation to avoid discipline. Instead, they find ways to get disciplined.
It can become a strong desire that overides even their good sense and they do whatever they want, break all the rules, and then once they get their spanking, feel relief for a period of time. But the underlying desire for discipline never goes away and their spanko craving for discipline is still there. I think everyone here understands the type of desire I'm talking about. We all have it in one form or another for spanking, and some of us have it for this type of discipline to one extent or another.
Some spankos have the desire to discipline which complements the needs of that type of spanko who desires to be disciplined. Those are just two of the variants of our spanking fetish (of which there are too many to count), and if the right people are partnered up, it can lead to a satisfying relationship for both sides.
When I think about spanking in a domestic discipline setting, it is a totally different type of spanking. While spanking can be a part of a domestic discipline relationship, it isn't the only tool, and often not the most important either.
There is so much involved in these DD relationships that spanking in itself isn't what makes it work. It's a complex relationship in which communication, negotiation, and understanding is more important than the spanking itself. The spanking is the component that gives a clear and unmistakable message that a certain behavior will not be tolerated and it's understood by both parties that it's a punishment. It's something to be avoided not desired. The love and caring behind the spanking is what makes a DD relationship work, not the spanking itself.
In my experiences, the lifestyle comes first and the spanking is just a part of that. If it's what you want, you should make the decision to enter into a disciplinary lifestyle and get the foundation for such worked out so both sides are satisfied before entering into that lifestyle. Otherwise, it can become very confusing and it may not have the desired effects.
Remember, all of this is only my opinion expressed from some years of my own experiences (don't ask how many, please  ) as well as observing others in this lifestyle. |
Buenaventura
Advanced Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 395
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, December 28, 2006 - 01:08 pm: |
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Very well expressed Bethie and obviously from somebody who knows more about this than I.
I see no problem in any of this to being into erotic spanking and having an occasional disciplinary spanking when it merits. In my case she want,s everything to start with disciplinary but not serious stuff.BUT she wants me to treat it as serious(if I explain myself correctly)I,m not sure how much is a really disciplinary spanking or not.I did give her one a week or so ago for something she did that really pissed me off.But again these are not really serious things in the grand scheme of things.I think that if a spanko is in a spanking relationship and something comes up that they consider merits a disciplinary spanking and it,s not something that needs very drastic action a spanking might help.Just my novice opinion. |
Prissietl
Spanko
Username: Prissietl
Post Number: 100
Registered: 07-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, December 28, 2006 - 04:04 pm: |
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Its great to know I have you all looking out for me,  thanks.
But I feel I need to clear something up.
I know it may seem petty to care about what others think of me, and in most cases i don't really care.
BUT..... the LAST thing I want is people to jump to conclusions about me as a mother.
I made it seem worse than it is ,I guess (because to me it is a big deal as well as to the people i answer to.)
I'm Not on drugs, drinking, having an affair , or problems with my husband. To me those are huge lifestyle problems.
Mine is much simpler than that.
I tend to be a little irresponsible at times,(OK maybe more than a little) and one of the things i have the worst problem with is time schedules.
So because of this ,my kids have been tardie several times to school, and the school has now labeled them as truant.
With this comes the threat of much worse if I don't get it under control.
So instead of letting it escalate to something worse, it was discussed and decided that a punishment spanking might be helpful.
I have never felt the need or want to be punished.
Spankings for me were totaly erotic
I am not a "discipline junkie" for lack of a better word. But after a long talk it was agreed that it could help.
Now like I said I am telling you all of this because I don't want people thinking that i am in some way endangering my children..
But knowing you all care enough to worry is great. Again thank you! I feel very lucky.
Once a princess always a princess
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3028
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, December 28, 2006 - 08:45 pm: |
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Priss, I extend my apologises for being part of the confusion. We made the error of going off topic to a degree. The discussion became about people in general not specific to you. There are a lot more members and non-members who read this site than you would imagine (in the 1000's in fact). It is not uncommon for any of us who are aware of that number to address an issue to the "audience" (so to speak)
At times what we don't say reveals as much as what we do say. Therefore a specific topic becomes more generalized. I am confident enough to say that no one was labeling you at all, or thinking that you were endangering your children.
Whatever it takes to help you, is entirely up to you, and frankly none of our business. I understand that you had the need to clarify the situation, but please believe me that this was a case where the conversation went off into a side bar.
Again, to answer the original question, I would probably never sleep if I didn't respond so well to a warmed up backside. It works, I don't need to analyze why and personally I don't care why it works, I am just glad it does.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Prissietl
Advanced Spanko
Username: Prissietl
Post Number: 101
Registered: 07-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, December 28, 2006 - 09:17 pm: |
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Thanks Fanny. Your great, and so is all your advice! (everyone else too)
Sorry if i got snippie!! My kids are my world.
Once a princess always a princess
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