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Misterskin
New member
Username: Misterskin
Post Number: 1
Registered: 04-2007
| | Posted on Monday, May 14, 2007 - 06:31 pm: | 
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I recently got permission from my wife to seek out a play partner for my spanking fantasies on the Sub side of things--she is comfortable with what we do but has never been a big fan of it, so out of respect I rarely ask any more.
I am very tempted to try and find one--lately the Sub part has been a very BIG fantasy of mine and after trying it once I was very hooked. My tolerance is very high and the harder it gets the bigger the turn on.
I am not worried about keeping sex out of it--although i have permission for limited types of sex she considers impersonal-- but I want the lines clear.
Is it reasonable to expect a play partner to be able to keep it at just that--playing around? I know some people find it a very personal thing but have met some on the other end.
Still, I am very tempted and seems far easier to find a Dominant woman than a submissive as far as Spanking is concerned.
What do you think -- good idea or not. Just curious and since my birthday is just a few days away puts a whole new spin on that for me as well. |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 1467
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, May 14, 2007 - 08:37 pm: |
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I'll try to answer this as best I can. This is one of those things that could be very difficult if you find the wrong person or very easy if you find the right one. Finding a play partner who isn't a professional, is often tricky but it can be done if everyone involved is honest with each other as well as with themselves.
The problems that arise usually occur because someone involved found themselves feeling something they didn't expect. We're human, we can't always predict how we're going to react sometimes.
When you're dealing with non-professionals, you've really got to look out for warning signs and keep the lines of communication open. This includes your wife btw. She's just as involved in this as you are and she deserves complete honesty if you expect this to work.
I'd suggest trying to find a group in your area. If you live in a large urban area or near one, try Google (for example) and search for "bdsm spanking group 'your city'" and see what results you get. You might get lucky and find a group near you and find like-minded people to interact with socially.
If you want to try a professional dominatrix, search for that term in your area as well. A professional might be the best answer for you in your situation.
I wish you the best of luck no matter what road or roads you choose. Just remember, keep talking about this with your wife as your primary relationship with her is extremely important. You're a lucky man to have someone so understanding!
Good luck! |
Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 2026
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 15, 2007 - 10:15 am: |
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Bethie said everything I was thinking while reading your post.
Communication is HUGE if you remember that anything is possible. |
Pinkcheeks
Prime Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 1234
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 15, 2007 - 11:27 am: |
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I could not have said it any better then Bethie  We are all different, and see our relationships differently as well. What works for one couple, might be a disaster for another. Tammy is so right.....communication is a major factor in this lifestyle. Keep these lines open - and best of luck.
"Do I have to be good ALL the time?"
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Buenaventura
Supreme Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 636
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 15, 2007 - 04:13 pm: |
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I have a question Mr.Skin.It says in your profile that you,re devorced.Did your permission come from your divorced wife or are you remarried? |
Misterskin
New member
Username: Misterskin
Post Number: 3
Registered: 04-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 16, 2007 - 01:41 am: |
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We cannot seem to make up our mind, that's where this comes from. We are trying to see if we can get past what caused the marriage to go CRASH/BURN.
During the early peace talks she mentioned that she didn't like the Dom part of spanking and gave her permission to seek that out somewhere else.
We are long past the stars and hearts phase of relationship. Amazing how different one is at 40 from 20.
Divorce is about final, paperwork is filtering through the last of the legal system.
So of course NOW we might change our minds----We cannot find anyone else who puts up with us for very long;)--Oh well I didn't do the 1st honeymoon very well and the marriage ceremony coulda been a lot better as well.
I found a pro here in my area--but expensive
She is however apparently very thorough and meets your needs from severity to fantasy play if desired. The more I look at it it might just be better to keep it professional. Pay to Play sounds about right. |
Tdom
New member
Username: Tdom
Post Number: 2
Registered: 05-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 16, 2007 - 05:02 am: |
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Hi, I stayed out of this dicussion both because I'm very new too, and have some similiar issues. Considering how extremely personal and intimate indulging in your spanking fantasies can be, have you considered that right now may not be the best time to be experimenting. Divorce is also an emotionally draining experience and I'm just suggesting that you consider addressing these activities one at a time.
Best wishes for you. |
Misterskin
New member
Username: Misterskin
Post Number: 4
Registered: 04-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 16, 2007 - 12:05 pm: |
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That would be a consideration if we were earlier in our relationship or even younger in life.
We are not really going to be impacted by this as we see if we are meant to be. For us this is filling a need--which is why I think i will keep it Pro and avoid a more friendly pairing. I am not worried about becoming emotionally attached where it becomes an issue regarding my relationship.
My wife (EX or whatever she is now)has some needs i could never handle--as I am male. Never bothered me. kind of a relief actually as it gave me sunday afternoon "off".
It helps I suppose that my other and I are confident to the point of arrogance. That was/is part of the problem really. 2 VERY dominant personalities. |
Tdom
New member
Username: Tdom
Post Number: 5
Registered: 05-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, May 17, 2007 - 10:44 am: |
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You know best, it was just a thought.
As far as the PRO goes, I think you get what you pay for; bargain basement is often no bargain.
Good luck and enjoy(!).
T |
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