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Message |
    
Beentoolong
New member
Username: Beentoolong
Post Number: 4
Registered: 03-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, May 17, 2007 - 12:00 pm: | 
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Hey everyone, I want to first start off saying I am SO glad I found this forum! I haven't had much to talk about lately, so I guess I've just sorta been "lurking" around. Ok, so here is the deal. I have been divorced for a little over a year now, and I've dated guys off and on. It always ends because of the same reasons...I can't deal w/a man who can't HANDLE me! I tend to come off somewhat dominant, of course that is definitely not the real me ;) It's not that I don't give hints to my submissive side, I do. They just don't get it, and I'm too shy to vocalize what I want (or need, really).
So here is my new dilemna, I've been dating a great guy for a few months now. I think he might have the personality I'm looking for! I find myself submitting to him in soo many ways (almost subconciously). I'm afraid to approach the "issue", but at the same time...I'm so tired of wasting my time w/men only to be dissapointed. I have no idea how to bring it to the table, without sounding like a nut! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!!!! |
Tdom
New member
Username: Tdom
Post Number: 7
Registered: 05-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, May 17, 2007 - 12:33 pm: |
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Well, I'm as new to this as you are, but here's an idea that may slide into a discussion in the topic for you. Much as it is taboo to discuss on this forum, your memories may be a neutral ground from which to launch into your feeling and a discussion of today's needs or desires.
The other thought is that is being dominated is a requirement for you in a relationship, aren't you better off finding out a disconnnect early rather than after a relationship is well under way.
I wish you well in your search.
T
(Message edited by fanny on May 17, 2007) |
Buenaventura
Supreme Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 643
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, May 17, 2007 - 04:29 pm: |
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Hi Beentolong,In my opinion with us guys the franker you are the better.I live outside of the states in a typical macho culture but I know that in the states because of womens liberation most men have hidden their dominant side to conform to todays standards.Mostly I mean at the beginning of a relationship when I,m sure most guys don,t want to ruin it by coming on to strong
The women in the den almost always say that you have to be very frank with guys cause a lot of time they just don,t get it.(I consider myself an exception to the rule )
If you really like the guy be frank it might work. |
Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 2048
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, May 17, 2007 - 04:43 pm: |
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I have to agree with Buena...sometimes you just have to come out and say it.
I know this is hard I've been there. But....the more you can communicate the better off you are. |
Lil_bit
New member
Username: Lil_bit
Post Number: 7
Registered: 05-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, May 17, 2007 - 05:26 pm: |
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I am new to this also so i am not sure if this will help or not. A few months ago i started sending my hubby web sites that i frequent. He read through some of them and it opened up the discussions. It really helped as i wasn't exactly comfortable just coming out and telling him. (after 17 years you'd think the shyness would be gone HA). Either way just be up front about it. Better to know now than later.
Good Luck |
Weasel
Advanced Spanko
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 298
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Friday, May 18, 2007 - 12:02 pm: |
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play a game of truth or dare with him... start out with innocuous stuff and then dare him to spank you or ask him if he's ever spanked a girlfriend.
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
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Blushingbride
Spanko
Username: Blushingbride
Post Number: 99
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, May 19, 2007 - 08:22 pm: |
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Another way would be to ask him about his fantasies, which will likely get him to ask about yours. Of course that's assuming that you are already a sexually active couple, but it can be a way to get things started. And you never know - he could be the one that brings up the subject of dominence etc.
And while I know that it can be hugely uncomfortable to bring this topic up, as others have said before, it's really all about communication in this lifestyle. And most guys really do need you to spell it all out in no uncertain terms. |
Tdom
New member
Username: Tdom
Post Number: 8
Registered: 05-2007
| | Posted on Monday, May 21, 2007 - 11:47 am: |
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Okay already, all these suggestions and no follow-up? How's it going, wonderfully painful, I hope?? |
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