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Message |
    
Otktime4sassy
New member
Username: Otktime4sassy
Post Number: 2
Registered: 05-2007
| | Posted on Saturday, May 26, 2007 - 01:03 pm: | 
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 When I met my husband, he was, in my opinion 80% disciplinarian and 20% switch; that was over 8 years ago. Now, he tells me that he doesn't know what he wants, if anything, out of the OTK world. We are/were both of the disciplinary world of OTK. He knows it is and has never been and never will be erotic for him. So, I decided to give him time and space to figure it all out but time and space have passed, he still hasn't figured it out and I am feeling very  because I know I cannot live without the disciplinary world of OTK. Any one have any advice? I have switched for him and he says I am good at it but to be honest it isn't who I am. Thank you for any advice you can offer.
Sassy |
2bspanked
New member
Username: 2bspanked
Post Number: 10
Registered: 05-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 06, 2007 - 10:49 pm: |
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Have the two of you talked about it recently? Has he figured out and been able to communicate his feelings on the subject? Have you communicated your concerns to him? Sorry, I'm not sure I really have advice, but communication is key in situations like this. |
Otktime4sassy
New member
Username: Otktime4sassy
Post Number: 30
Registered: 05-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 06, 2007 - 11:46 pm: |
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Thanks 2b but he has chosen to close the lines of communication where this is concerned and, to be honest, I have decided to stop trying to get answers...I guess it is what it is. I do appreciate your feedback. |
Weasel
Advanced Spanko
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 311
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, June 07, 2007 - 12:04 pm: |
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My advice is don't live life like that if it's that frustrating for you. Leave him and start over fresh with the idea in mind to find the person who matches you completely. Makes more sense than staying in a relationship that frustrates you so much. Of course you must take into consideration all other aspects of life, and if you are frustrated in more than half of the things you list, isn't it time to reconsider how you want to spend the rest of your life?
Just my opinion, but when I did the same thing, I found there were more areas of frustration than bliss and while the blissful part of our relationship/life was just that, the frustrations were driving me nuts. I don't regret making my choice to live without the frustrations.
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
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2bspanked
New member
Username: 2bspanked
Post Number: 11
Registered: 05-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, June 07, 2007 - 06:21 pm: |
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Oh no, closing the lines of communication about anything in a relationship is never a good thing. I'm sorry to hear that. |
Badgirl
Advanced Spanko
Username: Badgirl
Post Number: 396
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, June 07, 2007 - 11:41 pm: |
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Sassy, I am so sorry to hear you are going through a rough patch. I don't know how you can fix it, if you two can't talk about it, either.
Good luck! Just remember to be honest with yourself at least.
And in the meantime, hugs!
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Otktime4sassy
New member
Username: Otktime4sassy
Post Number: 32
Registered: 05-2007
| | Posted on Friday, June 08, 2007 - 06:40 am: |
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Aw, thank you everyone - I will work through this somehow. With a name like Sassy, I don't give up all that easily  Badgirl, thanks for a adorable hug. Weasel, I hear and understand exactly what you are saying but I won't let this one thing destroy my marriage. Thanks again, everyone.  |
Weasel
Advanced Spanko
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 315
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Friday, June 08, 2007 - 10:47 am: |
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Good attitude, Sassy! That's why I suggested the list. Leaving someone you love over ONE thing that isn't killing you isn't usually worth it. Only when the bad outweighs the good is it time to reconsider. Good luck to you and know you can always vent here to us!
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
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