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Tmichellebrat
Advanced Spanko
Username: Tmichellebrat
Post Number: 193
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, November 04, 2007 - 06:27 pm: | 
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I need some advice on how to ask for a spanking! I have never had to ask for a discipline spanking so I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to do so? It sounds awkward to ask for a spanking but I have been slacking in my diet and I would like MG to spank me so I can get back on track, it would help me. So how do I ask him without sounding as if I am "topping from the bottom" ? Any advice or comments are welcome! Thanks! |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 1738
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, November 04, 2007 - 07:14 pm: |
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I think if you go to him and tell him how you feel that it's not topping from the bottom. Tops aren't all-seeing and all-knowing (even if they like to think they are  ) and sometimes they need a heads up that you've slipped up.
If you two have decided that diet lapses result in discipline, then go to him and 'fess up. Tell him you've been slacking in your diet and you need some help getting back on track.
On the other hand, if you haven't discussed including your diet regime as a part of your disciplinary lifestyle, now would be a good time to do that. Also, if he resists using discipline for diet slacking, explain that you feel guilty when you don't meet your goals and a spanking would help you get past that so you can get back on track. Not to mention that not following your diet means you're not taking care of yourself properly and is discipline worthy.
If you were looking for advice besides telling him straight out, I may not be much help. It's just the way I am. I come from a big family and being one of the youngest, I learned early on in life that if you don't ask for what you want, there's a good chance that you won't get it.  |
Petergrimm
Spanko
Username: Petergrimm
Post Number: 69
Registered: 05-2007
| | Posted on Sunday, November 04, 2007 - 10:32 pm: |
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I do not intend to high-jack this thread, but telling your top you want a spanking is not "topping from the bottom" That's communicating your needs. Topping from the bottom is more exerting your will to manipulate or force the result.
That aside, I kind of concluded from this and other posts you may have trouble talking directly and bluntly about these things... many do.
Think of it this way - if the shoe was on the other foot - he wanted something from you, he wanted you to help him in some way - would you want to know about it? Would you want him to tell you? Ok, so think things through, maybe even marshall your arguments, list the points you want to say then pick a quiet relaxed time and give it your best shot - it's what you would want him to do.... |
O4mstrsnee
Spanko
Username: O4mstrsnee
Post Number: 51
Registered: 08-2007
| | Posted on Monday, November 05, 2007 - 08:18 pm: |
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I find that if I am feeling guilty just asking does the trick and the added embarressmentof having to ask reenforces the punishment. Consider it a lesson in trusting him. Be open and show youknow he will look out for you. That is not topping from the bottom it is showing you are willingto allow him tohelp you with a problem. That will only help your relationship grow stronger. |
Brat4ever
New member
Username: Brat4ever
Post Number: 11
Registered: 10-2007
| | Posted on Monday, November 05, 2007 - 11:53 pm: |
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i agree completely with O4mstrsnee but i donīt have that kind of a relationship with my fiancee he wonīt spank me not for anything i have donīr t him and to myself
Good girls are bad girls that donīt get caught ;)
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Marygrace
New member
Username: Marygrace
Post Number: 13
Registered: 11-2007
| | Posted on Sunday, November 18, 2007 - 01:06 pm: |
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I agree with what Bethie said. I would add, sometimes it is hard to say what you want. It may not feel comfortable. So you might try pre-agreed non-verbal codes on what you want, mode of dress, toys, etc. Also just communicate by writing what you feel hard to say. But do so in a way that can be destroyed later, so there is no record of it. For example, one thing i do is to leave the implement or toy i want used on me, on a panty whose color indicates what my bottom should become after the spanking is over, Leave it in a pre-arranged place, like your partner's shirt or blouse drawer for a specific garment that they use daily, but is out of sight. A pink panty with a glove indicates you want a mild spanking by hand. A red one with a hairbrush or slipper harder. A crimson panty and a strap or paddle for a longer harder session. Always use safe words, to keep things from going too far. Write why you feel you need, deserve, want this. Make sure you get the paper back and burn it before the session starts. i hope this is helpful to you. |
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