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Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 65
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 12:58 am: | 
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I had a long talk with my M and he finally understands. I got a bit of a spanking tonight before he went to bed, it hurt finally, but he stopped after 6 spanks and said his hand hurt. I have yet to cry, and I am longing for that much needed release. I told him that and he said he had spanked harder this time, and I said yes I know, but it was to short. I told him that he should pace himself and the longer he spanked the more affect it would have on me. I also told him he didn't have to use his hand. Any ideas on good spanking implaments other than a belt for a beginner spanker? please help.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Sundance
New member
Username: Sundance
Post Number: 8
Registered: 06-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 06:43 am: |
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Hi babyj4,
Sounds like you want a spanking that will hurt enough to make you cry but,his hand don't hold out.Maybe you can go to your local wal-mart and pick up a ping pong paddle.They sting leave your ass red but,used with enough force to finnaly break it will leave you crying hopefully.
Maybe before the spanking,you both can agree that he will not stop untill the paddle is broke.
It worked for me and maybe it will do the trick for you also.Good luck in whatever works for you two. |
Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 67
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 07:59 am: |
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thanks sundance, any one else have a suggestion, I'd like a few options.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Pagan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Pagan
Post Number: 119
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 09:18 am: |
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Babyj4, can I ask why it's important that you cry?
I've given birth three times (once without so much as a Tylenol because my 9 pound-son couldn't wait another second) - and although I screamed...I didn't cry.
I'm not sure that the physical pain of a spanking could make me cry. Maybe...but it would have to be WAY hard. My husband spanked me last night (with a hard lexan lined leather paddle) hard enough for me to still be red NOW, have zillions of those little red dots, a couple of hard lumps that I know will bruise...and I was NOWHERE NEAR tears. It hurt some, yes. But not unbearably.
Personally, I don't find that a ping pong paddle hurts that much. Mind you...we never tried to break one. But he wouldn't have been able to do that anyway.
We don't do discipline. But I think that if I were going to cry...it would be the lecture beforehand that would do it. The spanking would just reinforce the point. From what I've heard from people who get discipline or punishment spankings...the frame of mind you're in makes it seem much harder anyway.
Many say they can take more in play than they ever could in discipline.
I like leather paddles the best. They feel good.
Wood just hurts. Plastic is even worse. All sting will no yum, at least in my opinion.
I've never felt one...but I've heard that a heavy wooden hairbrush hurts like hell. But be sure that's really what you want. And that he's capable of administering that...
Good luck. |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 1457
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 12:02 pm: |
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I agree totally with you Pagan. Disciplinary spankings have nothing to do with inflicting tremendous pain. It is all a mind set thing. I have a high pain tolerance. Ping Pong paddle are a waste of your money.
I am an emotional person and pain has nothing to do with it. I have been injured, post surgical etc and never shed a tear. The tears that come from a disciplanry spanking come from your heart not your bottom.
(Message edited by fanny on September 17, 2005)
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 495
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 07:42 pm: |
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I stand with Pagan and Fanny 100%. I wonder why you will really be crying Baby if he does spank you hard enough? Probably not because you feel remorse or are sorry you disappointed him....but merely because he hurt you to the point of tears. It will be about pain and not about discipline.
First off...I hope you told him how wonderful he was because he spanked you at all. That he is willing to try is a gift in itself, so be sure he knows that. Do something nice for him in return. Make sure he realizes he is making you happy, or he may just give up.
I think something stingy works better than a ping pong paddle...how about the dreaded wooden spoon or spatula? Easily found in any supermarket or K-mart store and stings like mad! Make sure he knows what he's spanking you for, then have him spank for a while with his hand. Have him stop and explain to you why your being spanked, how it hurt him and how bad it made him feel. Then switch to the spoon...by this time you should be feeling some real remorse and this may push you over the edge.
Hope this helps! 
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
ISN'T IT OCTOBER YET? *pout*
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Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 68
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, September 18, 2005 - 05:12 pm: |
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I am not looking for tremendous pain, but I really do need the cry to release the built up emotions that I other wise cant let go. I normally wouldn't tell anyone this, my hb is the only one else who knows, but I feel comfortable talking to all of you so I'll explain, and I hope you understand and don't judge me badly for it, so here goes. When I was younger growing up I had a really hard time with depression, now as an adult I baddle it occasionally, it is due to a chemical emballance in my brain, med's never helped. when I was younger and couldn't release the pain I had inside, I would cut myself, it was stupid and dangerous, but I couldn't help it, it was a pain I could controll. I know he has the ultimate power when it comes down to a spanking, but I have complete faith in him to give him that power. I just need to cry inorder to feel better, and I can't do it with out some kind of phisical pain, and a spanking is a safe kind of pain. I hope this explains why I need it to hurt and cry.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Bigfoot1408
Spanko
Username: Bigfoot1408
Post Number: 76
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, September 18, 2005 - 06:43 pm: |
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baby j,, have you told him what you just told us.
he cares for you so it will be very hard for him to hit you hard enough to make you cry..
he will have to learn that it is what you really need and want.... talk to him...... if he can't do it ,,, maybe one of the others can suggest a dom in the area that could... i would have a hard time spanking my s/o hard enough to make her cry,,, but if you came to me with that need i could make you cry because i don't have the emotional attachment to you..... |
Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 70
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, September 18, 2005 - 07:10 pm: |
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yes, I told him, and he understands, and he said he would do it, He tried, but he didn't pace himself enough, and after about 6 pops, he said his hand hurt. that is why I am wondering about implaments that might help us out with out causeing serious injury.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Pagan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Pagan
Post Number: 121
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, September 18, 2005 - 07:18 pm: |
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Baby J, have you asked him to give you a stern lecture?
I really don't think that the physical pain alone with get you there, unless you have a really low threshhold. I don't think mine is very high, but I've gotten walloped a few times...with nary a tear even approaching.
Maybe if he can get in your head...give you a lecture...you'll find the tears will come more easily. He won't need to hit as hard, either.
I know my husband would NOT be capable of spanking me hard enough to make me cry. |
Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 72
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, September 18, 2005 - 07:25 pm: |
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He is a quiet guy and doesn't say much, I am not sure he'd know how to lecture, but I'll give it a try, at this point I am willing to try anything.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Bigfoot1408
Spanko
Username: Bigfoot1408
Post Number: 78
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, September 18, 2005 - 10:16 pm: |
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given the situation i think a local dom is the answer... i use only my hand so i am not familiar with implaments i will defer to the more experienced among us...
i think an experienced dom would have a larger effect on you too...... |
Bigfoot1408
Spanko
Username: Bigfoot1408
Post Number: 79
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, September 18, 2005 - 10:22 pm: |
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as in,,,, "herkelheimer j. niceguy ,will not hit me hard enough to hurt my butt,,, because he loves me,,,,," "OUCH" this rectal orafice that whatshername on the board told me about is raising blisters and he has swatted me only twice,,, "OUCH" "OUCH" |
Kendra
Advanced Spanko
Username: Kendra
Post Number: 264
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, September 19, 2005 - 11:23 am: |
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babyj if you don't mind I would like to PM you about this. I too was the same way when I was a kid, and I think I might be able to help you somewhat. I think what you are looking for is called a breaking spanking (at least I call them that) and you will find a wonderful explination of it in the breaking spankings topic by Darwins. You aren't looking for a disciplinary frame of mind, but a different state, one that allows you to put your trust COMPLETELY in your husband. Go into it with a completely empty mind. I think your main problem is thinking "This doesn't hurt enough" when you should be thinking (imho) "My husband must trust me an awful lot to put himself into a situation like this for me".
Darwins' post better explains the finer points of a "breaking" but the main gist of it was that You have built up walls around your emotions to hide them, and what needs to happen is those walls (or barriers if you prefer) need to come down, pretty much (from my understanding) what happens is your husband will have to break down those barriers and when that happens you will begin to feel vulnerable, through out this state relax, don't be afraid to let go.
My biggest problem in dealing with my depression was that I was afraid to let anyone see how I felt, and you trust your husband enough to do this for you, you NEED to trust him enough to let him see you release these emotions. When it's all over you will both have accomplished soo much, that it'll be a relief to both of you.
Sorry, I wrote a novel there... Hope this helps, and please read Darwins post, I can't even begin to explain as well as he did.
May the Spirit of the Elves guide you.
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Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 74
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, September 22, 2005 - 12:19 pm: |
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Kendra, I realy appreciate the help. You are right it is exactly that. I would love to hear from you pm. I am currently experincing difficulty with my computer, so I am at afriends house useing the internet, so it may be a few days before I can respond, but thanks again.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Zippo
New member
Username: Zippo
Post Number: 3
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Friday, September 23, 2005 - 01:42 pm: |
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Hi babyj
being a top, my s/o has expressed the same complaints. She feels that she is not being punished enough for her misdeeds. There are many implements to choose from, we use the cane, belt,wooden and leather paddles. If you are not into real severe punishments, I would suggest using the leather paddle, it provides enough sting without the bruising that the wood can leave, especially if it has holes. The cane also is very painful, but it will leave some impressive welts on your bottom. The leather does a nice job in my opinion, but like you my s/o usually does not cry. She seems to feel this is an important part of spanking. My question for you is this more for the emotional release or the level of pain you desire. Good luck and have fun!! |
Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 82
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Friday, September 23, 2005 - 03:34 pm: |
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well it really is about the emotional release, and he has the problem with giving a severe spanking, he doesn't like to see welts and bruises afterwards. He just this week started spanking hard enough for me to squerm and say ouch in responce to it, but still no tears.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Vulcano
New member
Username: Vulcano
Post Number: 33
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, September 24, 2005 - 03:58 am: |
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There's one thing I can add... maybe it's really a matter of patience... I used to wish to cry very much too... my very first really painful spanking (and I haven't experienced anything sooo strong and painful since) that was ment to make me cry (and the agreement was to spank me till I start crying) didn't work. The pain was sooo intense and I realized I wouldn't cry and I stopped him. I would have to think hard to remember when I really opened up and started crying during spankings and as I said, they were never as severe as that one. You might be a different case, you might need a strong pain... but maybe you might be like me and you just need to find something specific that will really make you cry... I realized that for me, it's just hitting the right spot (of my psyche) that makes me start crying, while pain itself makes me defend myself and blocks up free emotions. THough, I must say, that from the time I first started crying during spankings, I'm much more ready to start crying as the intensity increases... the truth is that once the block is broke, then it's easier. |
Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 91
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, September 24, 2005 - 02:41 pm: |
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Vulcano, thanks for your input, and you are right it is breaking the block that is the hard part. I am sure with due time it will happen. I am married to a vanilla, and the more we do it the better he gets at it, so I know it will happen, I just have to wait it out.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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