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Blb2
New member
Username: Blb2
Post Number: 2
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, September 29, 2005 - 04:22 pm: | 
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Hi Everyone... I am a new member and glad to be here. I am 34 and married to a wonderful woman but she does not enjoy giving spankings. I have through the years explained how important spanking is to me but she just does not seem to understand. I would love to find a older woman who could be my disipline mom when I needed a good spanking but that seems like cheating on my wife and impossible to find. I know I am not the only one with this problem... Any Advice?
White bottomed in Fla. |
Babyj4
Advanced Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 207
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, September 29, 2005 - 04:25 pm: |
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Well, your wife is a Vanilla. Before you go looking for some one else to spank you try educating her more on the topic.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Zippo
Spanko
Username: Zippo
Post Number: 58
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, September 29, 2005 - 06:23 pm: |
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Blb2 Welcome to the den!! Yours is not an uncommon problem, My s/o loves and needs her discipline and I do oblige her..have to keep these brats towing the line..her chief complaint is that her punishments were not severe enough for her. She does not want another dom to administer her spankings because she likes committing real infractions for real punishment and having someone else administer her spankings takes the realism away. A couple friends of hers are also into spanking but lack a dom to fulfill their needs. She has brought them over for me to discipline, and usually finds a way to make sure she gets one too. We do not view as cheating as these spankings for others are not erotic in nature (no sexual contact) even though I insist on a bare bottom. There is a great deal of trust between us and I dont want to violate that trust. I agree with Babyjs post that communication and education are essential. If your wife is unwilling to punish your naughty bottom, talk to her about fulfilling that need with a local dom. Do not hide it from her as it will breach a trust that can be difficult to regain. Heres hoping your bottom glow like the sun. Have fun and play safe. |
Ftopinmichigan
New member
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 8
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Friday, September 30, 2005 - 05:59 pm: |
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Blb2, I don't know the success rate, for converting a "vanilla" spouse, but I do know that it's quite low. Over 90% of the men that contact me, are in the same situation as you...or at least they "say" they are. 
My vanilla ex-bf came out with me to a BDSM club once, and got TOTALLY freaked out when a man was whipped with a belt. Past violence in his life came to the surface, and he would never accept any part of the 'scene,' but I did give him credit for trying.
The problem with converting a vanilla spouse...even if she agrees to "try" it, is that it will never measure up to having a real spanker administer the spanking. They can try to spank, but it will never equal the experience when it's with a lady that loves to spank, and knows what she's doing.
If you're fortunate to have a local spanking group, you might think of joining it. Many men at parties are married, and have the advantage of going to a private function (which helps to protect their privacy), and they can meet other spankos. Playing at spanking parties is primarily in the casual sense, in that it's only for fun, AT the party. By doing this, you might meet others, as well as a woman that might be able to satisfy your need for a good spanking.
My own rule, on playing with married men, is not to, for the most part. I will spank a married man, at a party, or club, but will only partake of private play if his spouse if fully aware and I meet her. (Most men don't, or can't meet that requirement.  )
K |
Badtom
New member
Username: Badtom
Post Number: 10
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, October 01, 2005 - 09:04 am: |
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Hello Blb2,
Just posting to say I sympathise, rather than I have any solutions. I can get my partner to punish me, but she isn't really into it - it's only cos she's into me that she'll do those things, and isn't naturally dominant. Persuading her to take the initiative is not easy, as she doesn't think about it all the time like I do!
I understand how you feel about going to see another woman to discipline you. I have often toyed with that idea, but like you I don't want to do anything that seems like cheating on my partner. I don't know how to go about it anyway, but eventually I feel that my desire to satisfy the urge will come to a head and I'll go for it - but only if my partner consents to come too and watch/direct the session. |
Babyj4
Advanced Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 236
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, October 01, 2005 - 01:04 pm: |
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Well hang in there boys, I did, and last night I really got it, and much to my and his supprise he got hard from it. No it was not forplay, he was disciplining me for misbehaving all day. He now say that that is the way things will be from now on. I know I deserve an award for being a brat. I converted my Vanilla, you can too.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Pagan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Pagan
Post Number: 129
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 02, 2005 - 12:17 am: |
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My own take on this is that there are latent spankos out there. They're easier to convert.
My husband is a vanilla - but he is willing to spank me. I didn't tell him for 12 years (hard to believe now), but finally came out to him about 2 1/2 years ago.
We've come a long way. He had the normal male aversions to 'hitting' a woman or 'hurting' me, so at first he wouldn't do anything more than give me a half dozen love taps while I was lying on top of him.
Now, he has a toybag, and is coming to his second spanko conference with me later this month. We didn't play at the first one, but I strongly suspect we will this time.
Is he a spanko? No. Just a vanilla male who is willing to play. As long as it's play. Fun, erotic? Sure thing. If I asked him to discipline me he not only wouldn't understand...he'd refuse.
I'm happy with where we are. Is he as skilled as a 'real' Top? No, probably not. But you know what? This is my husband...the father of my children...and he loves me. He doesn't have to be a 'perfect' spanker.
I personally would not have chosen to go outside to get this need met. I didn't get any physical spankings for years, although the tape never stopped playing in my head.
I would have felt like I was cheating if I had. For me, spanking is sexual, so it wouldn't have passed my 'would I do this with him looking over my shoulder' test. For others seeking discipline though, I realize that it's different.  |
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