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Redhinney
New member
Username: Redhinney
Post Number: 36
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 02, 2005 - 08:31 am: | 
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W and I have a rule that if I get punishment spankings than once the spanking and all related things like hugging etc are over there is no more discussion on the topic. So it is spank and forget. Of course I always know why I am getting a punishment spanking and we talk about it before I get it but in DD realtionship if we disagree his decison is the final one.
So what is everyones take on talk, spank and forget or do you as a couple continue the discussion after the spanking? |
Master60s_pet
Spanko
Username: Master60s_pet
Post Number: 74
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 02, 2005 - 09:03 am: |
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for the most part for me, once it is dealt with it is forgotton, unless it is a repeat offense. Then I might get warned like if they are going out of town or something. My major thing is I over do. Then I hurt, then I have to get over that before I can take the spanking. Cause I mainly self spank and that makes it a little hard.
MASTER60{master60's_pet}
I am a blessed brat..I am well loved and taken care of.
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Vulcano
Spanko
Username: Vulcano
Post Number: 57
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 02, 2005 - 10:41 am: |
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Oh yes, once the punishment is over, things understood, accepted and payed for, why should there be any more discussions on the subject? I wouldn't want it like this too. I just wonder, did it ever happen in your life that you were expected to be punished for something that you yourself didn't consider to be justified and your husband expected his decision to be the final one and you were expected to submit to it.... and how did you cope with that if it ever happened? |
Redhinney
New member
Username: Redhinney
Post Number: 39
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 02, 2005 - 11:36 am: |
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Tough question there have been times that I though I would catch one but didn't. There was only one time that I remember that I got spanked for something I thought was so wrong. It was during the time were trying like crazy to have a baby. One of the problems is that I have Lupus so we knew that it would be a hard time but both of us were willing to do what was needed. The other problem is I am very thin. At the time I think I my weight was around 135ish. But I am 5'11" so need I tell you I am sticks and bones but with big boobs (36D). The doctor told us that he wanted me to gain least 10 pounds before I concieve. So the doctor reccomended that I eat six meals a day. Of course I didn't do this for 2 weeks straight because six meals was just to much. So being a really nice guy W suggested that I try protein shakes OK we buy it and for the next 2 weeks the powder was unopened. I don't know why I just couldn't do it. We talked about it and I get spanked even when I thought it was a stupit reason. it wasn't for not eating but it was for pretending I was. The following month I went to the doctor and was 3 pounds lighter. 15 years later I only weigh 140 pounds and that's because I was put on low dose steriods for my lupus. People on this drug have a tend towards gaining weight. 5 years later and I gained a big 5 pounds.
When this whole thing was going down afterwards I told yes he was somewhat justified in spanking me for pretending because he saw it as lying which is a big no no to him but I really didn't think it was right because I felt he pushed me into a corner and was strong about how I would get the weight on that he almost expected me to fail.
I was angry for aout 2 days but not really at him about how out of hand we were getting to have children.
As far as I remember we have never been in that sistation again. |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 691
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 02, 2005 - 01:13 pm: |
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The best part for me about punishment spankings is the act of forgiveness...not just from him, but from myself. I tend to let things eat at me, and I cant just let them go even if their not that important. By being punished I can consider it dealt with, and forget it once and for all.
I always know what a disciplinary action is for, what the consequences will be and that once it's over I am forgiven. By both of us. 
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy.
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Beachley
Advanced Spanko
Username: Beachley
Post Number: 171
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 02, 2005 - 04:07 pm: |
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Mr. B does forgives also once the punishment is over although I have had very few real punishments. Most are in play.
The one thing I wish though if I get a punishment spanking is to know how many strokes it will be instead of just Mr. B deciding when enough is enough.
I know some Doms say the sub will get x amount of strokes. Mr. B does not do that. Perhaps it is a mind type game and he would prefer that I keep guessing.
I'm just glad my punishments are far and few between.
The Spice of Life is having my OWN WAY!! A spanking would be nice.
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Shadowrose45
New member
Username: Shadowrose45
Post Number: 30
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 02, 2005 - 07:35 pm: |
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I don't see a problem with talking about something-even if the punishment is over; especially if there is a real disagreement.
But, the point of them, IMHO, is twofold: to correct bad behavior, and alleviate any guilt the wife/sub is feeling.
I necer would know what or how long- but I think that most hubby/doms who don't have a set number, don't because they gauge the length of a punishment on the subs reactions to it.
I mean- it can easily go past punishment to abuse if the Dom has a set number that surpass what the sub can tolerate, right?
Personally, I think there should be a set amount of 'two' smacks on all punishments, lol |
Redhinney
New member
Username: Redhinney
Post Number: 42
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 02, 2005 - 07:54 pm: |
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Wolfie,
You stated that the best part is the forgivness...... because you tend to let things take over rather than let them free. I think that is one reason that punishment spankings work for some and don't for others. I think that if someone can let things just blow away than they in fact have forgiven themseleves for the behavior but for people who punishment spankings work don't do this so they have work to get that freedom of self forgiveness. I believe that punishment spanking is a lot of work for both parties. It takes bravey to accept a spanking from someone. Bravey takes strenth which takes work.
w sometimes tells me and sometimes doesn't. But if it is a repeat performance spanking he usually says soemthing like :little girl it appears that last time didn't seem to impact you to much so tonight you will get (insert number). It doesn't matter how many he could say 2 and I will always beg for less. It's part of the spanking ritual.
Just my 2 cents |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 697
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 02, 2005 - 10:30 pm: |
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I agree with you Red, someone more self assured than I or perhaps less self critical wouldnt need a punishment to forgive themselves for the mistakes they've made. I'm not sure if bravery has anything to do with it (although its not easy to get into position, knowing whats coming), but I know that trust definitely does. I trust him to be fair and reasonable in what he gives me, to understand that if I call red or safeword it's because of a health problem, and not just because my butt hurts. And I trust him to support me thru this ordeal, and to provide the cuddling and aftercare I need to finish the discipline...and allow the forgiveness to begin.
I'm very glad he's strong enough to do this for me, I dont think I could be as strong if the roles were reversed. I know he doesnt like causing me pain or punishing me, but I'm grateful he cares enough to do so. 
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy.
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Vulcano
Spanko
Username: Vulcano
Post Number: 58
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, November 03, 2005 - 02:45 am: |
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Yes, Wolfie, you're a lucky one to have someone who cares enough to do so. I wish my Top would do it for me too and he used to do it, but I saw it's not his cup of tea and even for him it was still more of a play, so the punishment was not exactly what I imagine it to be, though even as they were they were very efficiant. Fortunately some part of me doesn't want discipline that much, I found out that I could be without it, actually when we were still only in the sms game far away from each other, he touched my heart by refusing to punish me once. I always prefered games but my justice feelings and my desire to do better quickly now and here drove me also to ask for punishment spankings. They were a "easy" way for me to do better. Their role was rather more a motivatation to do better which I had (and have)problems to do without the experience of pain and retribution for what I've done (or rather did not do in my case  ) We fought a lot over it, but I stopped and let go of it and decided to go the more difficult way rather than push on him to do something he didn't find attractive. Yet, I know that once I really mess up (in his eyes I'm too good to be punished... while I don't see it this way  }, he'll make use of it in his "game", the game will be severe and I'll learn my lesson...  . Still, good to know, it keeps me more or less on the track... and respecting his power over me. Otherwise... well, a poor man . Well, generally, I think for me it's not about the need for forgiveness,it's really more the motivation factor and justice done. |
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