Author |
Message |
Redhinney
Spanko Username: Redhinney
Post Number: 76 Registered: 10-2005
| Posted on Monday, November 14, 2005 - 06:20 pm: |
|
This past week end W and I attended our church kick off dinner for "Season of Giving". This is an annual event that the church has so that we can fund the food pantry etc. While we were there a couple who has kniwn as thru the chruch for many years asked the following question, actually the wife asked " What is that the two of you do/have that just makes it look so easy. You two look like you are still in love with each other as much as the day you were married. She even went on to say that she thought that since my husband has retired and started to work with me that soem of the magic would have disappeared but it hasn't. What is it" So my husband and I talked about it on the way home and we both agreed that because of the lifestyle that we have (DD) that once the issue is dealt with it is over. One of my neighbors has the same type of lifestlye and I can honestly say the same thing about them. I am insterested in thought on this from others. |
Ftopinmichigan
Spanko Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 169 Registered: 09-2005
| Posted on Monday, November 14, 2005 - 06:36 pm: |
|
Redhinney, I think you've got something there. Can you imagine the look on her face, if you told her what works for you two? But I wonder...what happens in reverse...when your husband may break a rule, or not complete a required task that he said he would do? Are you able to let it go and close the event without "dealing" with it too? It's just something that I've seen as a possible issue with a DD relationship that only goes one way. Are you able to really let your bad feelings, or hurt emotions go, when he does wrong? How's that handled...or is it? K |
Redhinney
Spanko Username: Redhinney
Post Number: 77 Registered: 10-2005
| Posted on Monday, November 14, 2005 - 07:27 pm: |
|
W is a very discplined person- I guess 35 years a cop makes you that way.Most times to be honest I am the one who screws up. There have been times when I felt that he went beyond what I would consider to be the correct thing to do, it usually is over soemthing his family or one of my brothers did. (I'm the youngest of six and the only female). We do talk about it and we talk some more if one of us can't let it go. W is my best friend and I am not saying that because it is the PC thing to say about your spouse. I have been with this men since I was 16 I am now 50 there isn't anything that this men doesn't know about me. So to answer your question yes after talking the issue over I am really able to get over it but if we have to talk until 3 or 4 in the morning to get over an issue we will. As a point of interest we are a practing DD couple but we don't have task, our relationship is based more on correctness of attuide, self, respect, and general coustey. The house work is divided between us both I make the bed int the morning he starts the coffee and put the dishes in the dishwasher. On the week ends we both clean up and vaccum the house I do the first floor he does the 2nd floor. The only task that we don't do together is anything related to snow removal. The cold is very bad for my LUPUS so I stay in and make hot chocolate. Oh he gets my care fulled with gas every Sunday I don't do that. I am telling you this so you understand that the only thing that I can really get mad at is him hurting my feelimgs but as I stated above we talk and talk some more if need be. So far we have been able to come up with at least a comproism and at best a plan so that it never happens again, which in my head is what a DD realtionship is really about making sure that the bad doesn't crawl back in and at the same time making your spouse a better person. I hope I answered your question. |
Ftopinmichigan
Spanko Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 171 Registered: 09-2005
| Posted on Tuesday, November 15, 2005 - 06:53 am: |
|
Sounds like you have a gem in Mr. W there, Redhinney! Thanks for sharing. K |
|