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Zippo
Supreme Spanko
Username: Zippo
Post Number: 1300
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, November 21, 2005 - 07:46 pm: | 
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I would like to see everyone comment on this even if they do not visit cyber play.
There has been talk some of the cyber play threads about how much and what type of bratting is acceptable or really even wanted.
I believe as long as it adheres to the rules and regulations established for the board by Bethie, it is not for me to judge how one acts on there. I can voice my opinion, or disassociate myself from them if needed.
I believe the purpose of cyber play is 2 fold. 1- It allows a safe forum for spankos to act out TTWD and interact with other spankos. 2- Its second purpose is to allow some to assume certain personas to play or act out fantasies.
Bratting, can mean different things to different people. I try to be tolerant of others ways, and do not take personal offense to anything that occurs in there. I do find however, that bratting has tended to become more extreme in its nature. Some of it, I would consider bratting, some I would just say poor manners and courtesy. To me it should be just that play, it seems a little pointless to me at times to see who can do the worst thing to get the most attention, I would rather see threads that have a bit of a storyline to them, a scenerio, a conflict, a resolution type of thing.
This again is just my opinion, but I would really be nice to see threads not only in cyberplay but on the whole board stay a little more topic oriented. I love reading some of them, but by the time I get down to the bottom of one sometimes, it bears little resemblance to its origional subject. Just food for thought.
I am really interested on hearing other opinions on this subject 
(Message edited by zippo on November 21, 2005)
The Brat Tamer...changing brats attitudes one smack at a time
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Pagan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Pagan
Post Number: 291
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, November 21, 2005 - 07:59 pm: |
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Zippo, I will respond as requested, although I don't do cyber play.
It's not that I think there's anything wrong with it...it's just not my thing. Rather like self-spanking.
It doesn't feel real to me, and I don't choose to be spanked by casual acquaintances anyway. A couple of people have cyber spanked me (without provocation) and I have either ignored it or retaliated in kind. 
I just don't personally find reading "whack whack" to be even a faint facsimile for being spanked by my husband. So why bother? Just not my idea of fun. But hey - to each his own.
Also, we don't do DD or D/s, so my husband does not expect me to address him a certain way. I certainly don't feel the need to address someone I don't even know as "Sir", or speak to them in an excessively respectful way. Why would I? Because they're a self-proclaimed Top/Dom/Master? That's meaningless to me.
I hope that I treat everyone with common courtesy and respect, regardless of their spanko 'status'.
I do like to kid around with my friends, but it makes no difference to me whether they are men or women, Doms, subs or vanillas. It's playful banter, and accepted that way. It's not intended to get me spanked. If I ever sensed that it wasn't welcomed or being taken the way I had intended it, then I would stop immediately.
I personally enjoy the way that threads sometimes morph. Some of the most interesting discussions I've read on boards such as these have arisen that way.
Having said that, I don't think I've ever read the cyber board here, so we may not be talking about the same thing.
Not sure if this is what you were looking for, but it's my two cents, regardless.  |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 1766
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, November 21, 2005 - 08:27 pm: |
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I think I have made my position rather clear already. I believe what Zippo is referring to is the one upmanship that can go on in some threads. I don't believe he is referring to morphed threads but rather when one person starts a thread and it turns into a fight for attention. I remember a thread I started with a particular person a while back and out of 106 posts, 4 of them were mine. I never got the answer to my original question.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Poofette
New member
Username: Poofette
Post Number: 30
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 02:58 am: |
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I haven't peeked at the cyber play area more then once or twice but I think from what's been commented on in the discussion area it does have a lot to do with competing for attention like Zippo said. Although, I love a good spanking story (Pagan...applause, applause) and that's about as far as I want to go with cyber playing (arousal, satisfaction from words). I work with the general public and people are just rude now-a-days so being online isn't really very different from the way people act off line. (GOD! That makes me sound older then dirt...damnit so does that expression....)  My two cents for what they're worth.
Poofette |
Kendra
Advanced Spanko
Username: Kendra
Post Number: 373
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 05:10 am: |
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I quit going to the cyber play area, just because like Zippo said, it's turned into a fight for attention. I used to visit that particular area quite a bit before it was so big,but now, I don't get on enough and by the time I do get in there all the threads are run up to 100+ posts. It has almost become a chore to try and sift through what's going on.
Kryssi
May the Spirit of the Elves guide you.
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Ftopinmichigan
Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 190
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 09:02 am: |
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I'm not into cyber play, and never have been. I did take a peek at the messages here, to see if it was any different, from what I've encountered in the past, and it was much of the same.
Cyberplay is for entertainment purposes only. If it's no longer entertaining, to those that participate, then I would suggest not reading and participating in it anymore.
As for people working to get "attention"...isn't that what it's all about? The only way to get attention, in a cyber forum is to be wordy, or bratty, or shocking. It the way to grab attention and get the desired effect.
Just generally speaking, and not to anyone in particular, but if a "cyber Dom" or cyber spanker is not able to take the reigns, in cyber, and control the bad behavior, than perhaps they are not an effective "cyber" spanker/Dom.
The words are what are doing it, for most people in cyberplay. Imagination, tone, and words are all the token pieces to keep the game going. (I've never had the imagination for it, let alone the desire.) Alas, some are there just to be rude....and get away with it. Their own interest, or fetish, is to attack and be abrupt with words....or they are there waiting for someone to take them to task. In most cases, I would think they are "begging" someone to take them to task. The more shock...the better. Look at Howard Stern. Some people like that style of shocking others, and some of them are in the cyber play area.
I've found that many times the issue is people taking liberties with others, when they don't even know that person. This is when people go too far, or feelings get hurt. You cannot "play" with a complete stranger, in spite of that being a huge draw to cyber play. Even in cyber, it gets personal, and sometimes, people just take it TOO serious.
I think the problem happens when people take it too seriously. It's cyber PLAY, right?
K |
Ftopinmichigan
Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 191
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 09:08 am: |
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From Zippo too:
"This again is just my opinion, but I would really be nice to see threads not only in cyberplay but on the whole board stay a little more topic oriented. I love reading some of them, but by the time I get down to the bottom of one sometimes, it bears little resemblance to its origional subject."
I feel if the OP didn't get the answer to their question/concern, then it would be up to them to try to bring people back on topic, by maybe posing the question a different way, or giving more of their own perspective to help them understanding what they're looking for in posts.
Any conversation will get off track, when there are more than a few people talking. Unless there's a specific facilitator (and in this case I think that would "be" the OP), the topic of discussion will usually stray.
I've not seen it get so bad here, in fact, I think this is one of the better groups that stays on topic. But with "spanking" being the topic, among spankos...that makes it easy, doesn't it. 
K |
Tammynx
Advanced Spanko
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 156
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 09:30 am: |
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I hope I'm not repeating to much of what has already been said. But...here is my opinion for what is is worth:
Cyber play can be fun...banter and teasing is okay.
When it goes past that and bad language and name calling...(bad names) and fits are thrown...well..I don't get it. I could never bring myself to act like that for attention. Several times I made comments and directed them at people here and they are never answered. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to myself. But I would never NEVER act like a 5 year old to get a response.
I think people get busy they don't read every post and life happens. That doesn't mean you call someone a name and hope they see it.
Attention is fine...bratting to some extent can be fun...just as long as it doesn't get carried away. |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 1767
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 09:55 am: |
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Exactly Tammy, it does seem like you are talking to yourself, because apparently that is the way they like things. I really think that even in cyber play people don't act much different than they do in r/l. I would never be so disrespectful to anyone in cyber or r/l.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Tammynx
Advanced Spanko
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 158
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 10:14 am: |
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Ohh Fanny...me either!! I could never be that disrespectful. |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 1770
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 10:16 am: |
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Then Tammy, I think you and I could be good friends!!! So nice to meet you.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Tammynx
Advanced Spanko
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 160
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 11:54 am: |
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I think your right!! We can be good friends!!
So very nice to meet you too!!!  |
Eod
New member
Username: Eod
Post Number: 8
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 12:14 pm: |
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I lurk mostly (sorry). And I don't particularly like the connotation of that word. But that's a digression.
I have read all of the discussion topics for the past two months - here I think people stay well on topic. I also think there's generally a high level of honesty here, which makes some threads quite absorbing.
Cyber Play is something else again. The first few times I read threads in it, I thought I must be missing something else - eg. that private messages must surely supplement the on-screen conversations, or perhaps that the people flying messages back and forth must all know each other personally. Otherwise (even given either of those in fact) it seemed to me to be really pointless and juvenile. And also very one-note. Basically all of them seem to follow the same "I'll make you - you can't make me - now you're in for it" theme. Doesn't this get boring? And don't you feel a bit strange afterward?
On the other hand the discussion threads, over a a period of time, have allowed me to get to know people well (in a limited sense). I am amazed at the variety of experiences and depth of thought that people put into this.
I have some questions about what I read in the main - sometimes it seems to me that those who get spanked seem to be one-upping each other in the area of how much one can take.
I am also bemused by the whole concept of discipline spanking. Does this not, over the course of time, corrode relationships? It seems simplistic to me. If one partner does something "wrong" (like curfew????), then she (more often than not she's a she) expects/gets physical punishment. On the other hand the other partner seems to carry no consequences for his behaviour. Doesn't this set the relationship in stone as adult-child, rather than adult-adult? I truly don't get that.
On the other hand, erotic spankings...mmmm. |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 515
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 12:15 pm: |
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I've got to be quick here, My baby sister, the bride-to-be, is waiting in my living room rather impatiently right now. It's time to go pick up the rings. *sigh*
Anyway, I've been meaning to address this topic so I'm glad Zippo started this thread. Thanks, Zippo! My main concern is that everyone play nicely and be respectful of other posters. I've seem some posts that, even in the context of cyber-play, are so rude that I've been taken aback. At one point, I was ready to jump in but I thought maybe I was overreacting.
At the same time, I really do want this to be a safe and friendly place for spankos to play. If a person's only spanking outlet is our cyber-play threads, I can understand how this can be their only chance to act out their fantasies. I just don't want them acting out so much that they scare off any other members with their aggresive bratting.
I'm glad some people are having a good time, I just don't want the cyber-play area to be at the expense of others. I also don't want it to become a place that is only for extreme bratting. I've started a couple of play threads that were spanking related that didn't involve any cyberspanking. We were just having fun. I wish there were more of those because then I'd jump in. I've no desire to be cyber spanked but I still like to play. 
Wish I could say more, but I've got to go right now. I'd like to hear more from the other members, whether you play there or not. Thanks everyone! |
Zippo
Supreme Spanko
Username: Zippo
Post Number: 1319
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 06:50 pm: |
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Thanks Bethie and to all those who have voiced on this so far. I dont mean to sound overally harsh or critical of others, because I enjoy the board, it was more my intention to raise awarenss on how our actions and words are viewed by others wheather it being cyber or r/l. Enough ranting for me and again thanks to all who have voiced their opinions!!
The Brat Tamer...changing brats attitudes one smack at a time
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Shylah
Advanced Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 449
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 06:55 pm: |
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After what I have been thru in the last week...here is my soap box...
Playful bratting is fine. As long as you don't hurt or insult. Excessive bratting gets old and it gets old fast. You can get your needs taken care of easily enough with just coming right out and saying you would like to be spanked. There are plenty of Tops out there that would be more than happy to help you out. Start with agreeing about a scenario and play it out. You might be pleasantly surprised at just how satisfying that can be.
Excessive bratting either in cyber or r/l will put people off. You will find yourself being ignored. Adopt a mature attitude about it and you will find there are lots of Tops ready to play with you.
Try to keep in mind that some of us have a past that you might be bringing out old bad memories we have worked so hard to put behind us.
By all means, PLAY AND HAVE FUN...but not at the expense of others please.
Ok...that is me off my soap box. Thank you...please tip your waiters and waitresses generously. I'll be here all week!
Once I thought I was wrong but I was mistaken
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Zippo
Supreme Spanko
Username: Zippo
Post Number: 1325
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 07:34 pm: |
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Todays tip..seabiskit in the third race..oh sorry Shylah..not that type of tip oh ok then...
The Brat Tamer...changing brats attitudes one smack at a time
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Shylah
Advanced Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 452
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 23, 2005 - 08:33 am: |
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*GRINS* at Zippo 
Once I thought I was wrong but I was mistaken
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Otktheplace4me
Supreme Spanko
Username: Otktheplace4me
Post Number: 1317
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 23, 2005 - 12:05 pm: |
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YES!!! Thank you Zippo! We brats need to remember that tops, as well as other brats, are people too...
Remember to be good!
Remember to be good!
Remember...darn it...
what was I supposed to remember?
Cpl. Brat 2
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Neoserenity87
Advanced Spanko
Username: Neoserenity87
Post Number: 278
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 29, 2005 - 11:46 pm: |
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Hey Guys (back finally after 4ever) Okies, I know I was a little on the extreme side the first few and only times I joined in cyber-playing, but I'm claiming newbie status for that! LoL, joking, but really, I guess I didn't really lurk enough to kinda get the jist of how it worked. As for cyber play not really meaning much, especially in relation to self spanking, i think it depends on what kind of relationship your in. If you're like me (single) and you're into DD/ D/s or whatever, cyber play can mean a lot. I guess now I mostly turn to the reading area though, and have a go around with cyber spanking over instant messenger every once in a while. I know it's not the same as the real thing, trust me, it's something I REALLY REALLY want, but for now, cyber play is a quick fix until I find my special someone. Hope this helps...
Kuwait here I come!!!
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