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Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 311
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 06, 2006 - 07:11 am: | 
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Do you have any Pet Peeves about people making contact with you from online. I'm talking about messages or e-mails coming from complete strangers...people you've never met.
I have two pet peeves that really grind me.
One is when someone makes contact via e-mail, or even IM and they don't introduce themselves. They just start talking (or writing) to you as if they already know you. Then, at the end of their e-mail, they don't even have the courtesy to sign their name. (I tend to respond then, "To Whom It May Concern, since you didn't sign your name."  )
I know that online, the SN is the typical name to use, but when making "personal" contact, with the hope of actually meeting someone in the future, don't you think it's good to sign an actual name? 
(In posts, and Group contacts, I have no issue with keeping to SNs. There's some anonymity that's afforded members, that I feel is a given when making contact. I like to offer my full first name in private contact though, but don't get irked if I don't get it in return.)
My other pet peeve, and this is for online contacts OR in real life...having a total stranger call me "babe ," "honey," "sweetie," "dear," "cutie," etc. (I also have issue with being called "girl." At my age, it's kinda insulting, and since I'm not a spankee that enjoys that term either, it's just not right. Don't like "Ma'am" either...so it goes the spectrum. )
Mostly I find it so totally condescending, and most of the time it's men doing it to women (not the other way around - so it appears to be a sexist thing too - FYI, I'm not looking for a gender fight, just making an observation based on my experiences. Would be interesting to hear from men that might feel the same, based on some terms women might call them.).
Now before I might get attacked, because these words can also be "terms of endearment" to many...I'm really only referring to a "complete stranger" calling a lady by these terms.
I'm in a store and someone comes up to me to ask if I know something about a product...."Hey babe, can you tell me...."
First e-mail, never heard of the person, they have no profile listing, never posted to a group...."Hi, Honey. I want....I want....I want...."
I have a mailman (we grew up a few blocks away from one another and hung in the same crowd as teenagers) that constantly calls me "hon." I swear I'm gonna deck him one day.  I've told him how condescending he is, when using this term toward me, and in fact, asked him if he would refrain from using it, and also IF he used that term when talking to men. He said, "of course not!" Then I said..."Don't use it when talking with me either then." (I do still get my mail on time.  )
Do you have any pet peeves?
K |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 964
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 06, 2006 - 10:02 am: |
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I dont think I'd have any problems with someone Ive known most of my life calling me "Hon". One minute your saying its offensive for a first time contact, then your saying its not ok for a long time friend. Why not just say you dont like it from anyone?
I have the same peeve as your first one...I hate when folks dont introduce themselves, but simply start off with what they want. And crude? Sometimes they make me want to vomit! What man in his right mind thinks that's a turn on for a woman to hear that kind of stuff? I cant hit the delete button fast enough! If a guy wants to get a reply from me, be a gentleman! 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Ziggy
Supreme Spanko
Username: Ziggy
Post Number: 1981
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 06, 2006 - 11:46 am: |
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I have one, the young men from the middle east, who are in there 20's and 30's, who say hi babe or are you married and when I say yes they disappear really fast. a couple of them I am old enough to be your dam mother and to get lost. LOL I really think they want a green card !! not sure I guess I had two pet peeves LOL
when caught run faster then him !!
I am a TA junkie !!
hubbie will be home in three weeks, on my birthday,..........WEG
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Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 314
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 06, 2006 - 12:18 pm: |
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Wolfie wrote: " One minute your saying its offensive for a first time contact, then your saying its not ok for a long time friend. Why not just say you dont like it from anyone?"
My words make that quite apparent, don't they? It IS offensive from anyone, and the story about the mailman was to also show that "anyone" does it...not "just" first contacts. I guess you didn't like the story. It was used for illustration and entertainment purposes. 
I suppose my general pet peeve should've been the subject matter, but it was a contact this morning that prompted me to post originally. The first timer was my thought, and the story, was the illustration of yet another situation of irritation.
I guess mixing situations within a subject (here the "pet peeve") wasn't a good way to communicate it, but I thought my words were clear.
Can't tell me I'm not blunt enough.
K |
Shylah
Advanced Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 573
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 06, 2006 - 07:31 pm: |
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Well, personally, I'm from Oklahoma and it's just an "Okie" thing for me to call someone "hun" or "darlin" when I don't know them. We're just friendly that way. I don't mean disrespect or anything, it's just my way of saying "HI".
My pet peeves??? How much time ya got??? ROFL
1. Mothers in a store that tell their kids who are misbehaving that the saleslady (or fella) will "get" them if they don't stop. What if that kid gets lost? Needs help? Will be too scared to approach a salesperson!!
2. DON'T leave the toilet seat up!! It has a lid for a purpose!! Put it DOWN!! I don't care if you are male or female...put it DOWN!
3. Rewind the tape for the love of pete!!!
4. I'm driving...I have all the controls in front of me. I have been driving since I was 15. I know how to drive. SHUT THE HELL UP!
5. I'm cooking...I have the knowledge and I know how to do it. I owned my own cafe and was considered a good chef. SHUT THE HELL UP!!
6. Don't ask me when I'm getting spanked if that is what I wanted or is that the way I wanted...you are the Dom...why are you asking me??????
7. I hate detective shows, westerns, WWII movies and stuff like that. Stop trying to get me to watch them. And when I'm watching something I like...SHUT THE HELL UP!!
The list goes on...I could be here all night!!!
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Shylah
Advanced Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 574
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 06, 2006 - 07:39 pm: |
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Ok...I know that last post wasn't about online contacts. So here are my online pet peeves...
don't pm me and ask me a/s/l
don't ask me if I got spanked as a child or if I spanked my children...that is private and none of their buisness
I hate men that want to grab my hair either online or r/l...that WILL get you hurt
when I am in a chat as a sub, I hate it when men pm and ask me if I will spank them. Damn dummies can't tell that I'm a sub? Is my nick capped?
I know and realize that there are so many out there that can't get their spanking needs fulfilled, I can understand the fustration...I just can't tolerate the desperate attempts to get it any way they can cyber wise.
I'm venting again...sorry...seems to be a habit with me lately.
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Itchy
New member
Username: Itchy
Post Number: 20
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 06, 2006 - 09:03 pm: |
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isnt that wot these boards r for shylah? if u cant vent here then were? if theres 1 thing i hate its going into a chat room and not 2 seconds later a pm comes up a/s/l no hi no how r u nothing grrrrrrr so i dont go in to often anymore which sorta spoils my fun a bit but thats life eh |
Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 315
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, January 07, 2006 - 01:18 am: |
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Shylah, I know your pet peeves cause you misery, but they sure struck a cord with me...and the way you told them...well, it gave me a good laugh too. Sorry for laughing...but I'll SHUT THE HELL UP NOW!
K |
Tmichellebrat
Spanko
Username: Tmichellebrat
Post Number: 96
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, January 07, 2006 - 01:36 am: |
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Shylah ...I totally agree with you on all your pet peeves...they gave me a laugh too and that is something I needed today! Some of my online pet peeves are:
1. I absolutley hate it when I am in a chat room and then all of a sudden I get a PM and the first thing out of the guy's mouth is .."Hey babe want to cyber?" I mean what in the hell do I look like? So I ask him..." Would you go up to a lady you had never laid eyes on and ask for sex?" Of course he says ..."No" ...so I say .."Then don't ask me who you don't even know for cyber you jack ass LOL...that just irks me.
2. a/s/l really bugs me ...I say go look at my profile you jerk.
3. or guys wanting me to "Dom" them online when they can clearly see that I am "sub".
4. and the one that really bugs me is I get a pm from a guy and we start to chat and then after about a half hour of chatting he says .."ok we got to know each other, where do you want to meet? I mean talk about desperate LOL.
I am sure I have more...just can't think of anymore LOL. |
Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 317
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, January 07, 2006 - 09:58 am: |
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Michelle, regarding your own #4...I'm on a specific site for meeting others, and the offers to meet immediately are astounding. They don't even know MY name, and of course don't even offer their own, and they are ready meet. Amazing. What kinda woman would I be to accept their offer? I'm sure they don't care though. That's what they're looking for, I guess.
I was talking to a man that responded to my profile from a Personals site. He seemed so genuinely nice...never mentioned anything overtly D/s, etc. in his "introduction," as he responded to my desire for a relationship, and not just a play partner. I enjoyed our initial (two) email exchanges, and we proceeded to IM. In this IM, his fourth message, which probably took less than a minute, he found the need to tell me how "physically aroused" he was at the thought of being with me. Now some women might find this an attractive proposition, and I do to, but NOT IN FIRST IM conversation. It was so totally inappropriate and insulting to me.
I ignored that he said it, and continued the conversation, but it's enough to make me reconsider the thought of meeting him. Prude that I am, I don't think that's an appropriate first conversation. (I also found out he was a "submissive" versus the "Dominant" that enjoying bottoming, as he indicated in his first e-mail. He is listed on site as such too. So his intent was subject too now. He also said he was active in a local group here. Well, I was the one that ran the group, and KNOW he was NOT active. The photo he sent was quite a bit older too, based on what he said in conversation. Oh...AND he contacted me over a year ago, and I rejected him then too. FYI, his SN for IM chat gave him away.)
I think some people are just unrealistic in their expectations of online contacts. Some are sincere and guinine people, and others are just looking for the online cheap thrill. And like my latest contact...he's looking for both.
So I guess another pet peeve of mine is someone from online expecting a meeting with no exchange of information, and expecting sex...just because.
K |
Shylah
Advanced Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 578
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, January 07, 2006 - 04:21 pm: |
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If they have to go online to get sex...CYBER sex...it kinda gives you an idea of what kind of loser they are in real life....right????
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Shylah
Advanced Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 579
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, January 07, 2006 - 04:23 pm: |
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Oh and K??? Don't ever SHUT THE HELL UP...I love your posts. I love the way you are down to earth and truthful...such a rare thing in this world and truly apprectiated.
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Tmichellebrat
Spanko
Username: Tmichellebrat
Post Number: 98
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, January 07, 2006 - 05:29 pm: |
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Ftopinmichigan...I hear you! It is annoying how alot of them just expect to meet right away for sex or what not.
Shylah...I agree with you ..most online who are looking for cyber they must be either really desperate or a complete loser but of course that is just my opinion! I have noticed alot of the married guys are the ones that are looking for a quickie either online or offline ...but anymore I don't even get in chats to often because of it and also because I am happy with who I am with although I do like to make online friends just to chat ...but most want more than that and I can understand that if they are single but also have some respect especially when a lady tells you no the first time around but that is just how I feel about it. |
Shylah
Advanced Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 582
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, January 07, 2006 - 07:46 pm: |
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Got another one!!!
I told someone tonight in a chat that I was married and that he is a Top. They then tried to get me to tell them when he spanks me, how he does it...I told this jerk that I was there to chat with my friends...not to give him his jollies.
Sheesh...looooooooser!!!
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 976
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, January 07, 2006 - 08:34 pm: |
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Lets be careful about how we talk about others in the online world. It took me ages to finally come out of the closet about my kinks; terrified that I would be viewed as a sicko, loser or weirdo. Im pretty self assured now that what I am into and what I do is ok, although it doesnt take much to bring back that fear of rejection.
I'm not saying there arent folks out there that are only interested in what they can "get" out of the cyber world...Ive met the same guys who ask me to spank them (Im a sub), or who want to meet for sex (I dont even know your name). But compared to the many wonderful people I have met online, some of whom I have met and played with in real life, their few and far between.
All I'm saying is...be careful when you start to pin labels in folks.
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 320
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, January 08, 2006 - 07:28 am: |
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Wolfie, I'm sorry but I didn't see anyone placing "labels" upon a group of people. The stories posted here are pretty specific.
The posts here are speaking of the irritating contacts that we've experienced. I don't think anyone is talking about "everyone" and the cases are isolated, yet sometimes frequent enough to mention.
There are creeps out there in every walk of life.
I do think the interest in anything BDSM or spanking related opens the flood gates to those that are not inclined to understand any of it. It is "those" people that make this list of pet peeves, and rarely is it the sincere friendly types of folks that we experience here, or in the real life spanking world.
I find it's the onliners (and I'm speaking of the ones that are ONLY online for a cheap thrill) that perpetrate such actions against others online. It's is their fetish interest to do so.
I'm know there are more good folks, than the ones mentioned in any of these posts.
I also feel there is a benefit to sharing these not so good experiences, so as to warn others that may be new, so that they are not caught completely off guard when it happens to them, and to let them know they are not alone. When I first got online, I DID blame all people with a spanking interest as being creepy freaks...and then realized...it was only the jerks making contact with me.
I feel it's best not to generalize, but know it happens. All fetishes combined...I find the spanko folks are the best!
K |
Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 321
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, January 08, 2006 - 07:32 am: |
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Another pet peeve, happened twice yesterday afternoon, while I was reading several forums Online. I got a few IMs from total strangers.
The pet peeve is men (and even women) that don't bother to read the profile, and assume, just because I'm a woman that I MUST be a bottom. It happens often, so by their ignorance, OR stupidity they IM, but it's really not the main pet peeve for this post.
It's when the conversation proceeds, after I clarify that I'm a Top/spanker, and they threaten to spank me for something I've said in IM. It cause me to immediately shake my head, with the inclination to shake them. They initially continued the conversation as they have their secret desire to bottom, or are a closeted bottom, yet they don't respect my choice to be a Top/spanker. They completely disrespect me, and yet think that I'll find their "threat" funny, and accept it. (And don't forget...this is a TOTAL STRANGER threatening me. ) They truly feel that all women are bottoms and amenable to strangers threatening them, and yet their actions only end the conversation.
It's conversations, such as the two I had yesterday afternoon, that truly make me feel for what the lady spankees go through sometimes. I do not hear from men that suffer at the hands of women being insensitive or threatening.
So goes the world of some of the bad Online contacts.
K |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 977
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, January 08, 2006 - 10:13 am: |
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Maybe Im too sensitive about this, but when folks are called "loser" because of their desires in the cyber world, it bothers me.
I belong to another spanking site, and Ive run up against the "spanking is good but bdsm is bad" mindset. They will accept the idea of bondage, but only as it relates to spanking. Any other kink is too weird for them, and even the Master/slave relationship is denigrated. Its the rare switch, male sub and Domme that feels comfortable there for long.
I just want to be sure we here at the Den always keep an open mind to all kinds of fetishes, and not put down folks who are different from us. There are a lot of people who think what we do is "sick" and that anyone who lets themselves be spanked is a "loser".
This is one of my pet peeves.
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Shylah
Advanced Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 583
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, January 08, 2006 - 02:44 pm: |
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OK..lately it seems that some find it necessary to correct or explain MY feelings. I was under the impression that we could use this forum to be able to find others that shared our feelings and lifestyle. I seem to be mistaken.
It will not be necessary for anyone to correct my posts as I will not be posting again.
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 980
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, January 08, 2006 - 03:03 pm: |
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I'm sorry you feel that way Shylah, I was under the impression that I was explaining MY feelings. Not anyone else's.
This forum is for everyone, I was simply explaining my fears of being labeled due to past experiences. I'm not sure why you took that as an attack against you, it certainly wasn't meant that way.
I hope you wont leave because of my opinions, but if you do I wish you well.
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Tammynx
Advanced Spanko
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 204
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, January 08, 2006 - 09:18 pm: |
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I have to agree with everyone else that I hate been sent a private message when I don't know someone...and why can't people type out the words?? I know there are many short cuts...but the a/s/l thing....for MONTHS I had NO idea what people were talking about... I would respond...with WHAT??? That usually made the person messaging me leave me alone...they probably thought I was dumb.
I have to admit that it is easier now that I'm married to a Dom. That sounds so funny...I don't really think of him as a Dom....When Shylah and I met in spanking chat room....my husband was a REAL Dom in the same chat room....I never thought we would meet let alone get married.
Anyway I agree with the unwanted e-mail and messages..at least you should know who the person is.
You are right Wolfie there are a lot of really great people out there....we just have to watch out for the ones that aren't so great. |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 981
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, January 08, 2006 - 10:25 pm: |
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Ummmmm, ok I am dumb. What's a/s/l mean? (can you tell I dont do chatrooms?) 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Tammynx
Advanced Spanko
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 207
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, January 08, 2006 - 10:39 pm: |
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LOL It means age sex location...it took me FOREVER to figure it out...now I ask you...is that the way to start a conversation???
Ummmm I have a question....please don't laugh to much...what does...SO mean....I was thinking it meant significant other....but I think it has another meaning...anyone know??? |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 592
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 09, 2006 - 12:51 am: |
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Tammy, as far as I know, "SO" does stand for "significant other." At least I hope it does because that's what I use it for.
I know there are a lot of jerks out there in cyber space just like there are in real-life, but I also think there are just a lot of people out there who don't have a clue how to interact with others. Which is probably why they're online in the first place. But labeling them all as losers isn't nice, some are just inexperienced, over-eager, or have had some jerks set the example of what's acceptable. (Btw, I've also known some women spankos who love getting right down to business so it's not just the guys, but that's another story.)
That line about people who cyber being losers can be taken wrong. Hey, I cybered with Dan before I met him. And I'd cyber with him again if we were apart. I know you were talking about the guys who only want to cyber and not get to know you first, but I had to read carefully to make sure that's what you were talking about. I started to take offense when I read it, but I went back and figured out that you must be talking about the guys looking for quickies online. But I had to really look at it again.
I think that's what Wolfie was talking about. It's not easy trying to keep this place safe, comfortable, and open to other people in this lifestyle. We're walking a fine line here while trying to look out for our fellow spankos at the same time. Not easy!
And like a couple of y'all, I know exactly what you mean about the ones who contact you without reading your profile. I think I've mentioned before that I get the unsolicited PMs from people who don't bother to read my profile or any of this board before PMing me. Not only do they send propositions to the board administrator without a thought, they send them to me as "Bethie" as well, thinking I'm two people.
I guess they miss the part about "Admin" being a sub and a female one at that. I get everything from guys wanting me to spank them to women wanting to meet up with me because they think I'm a man! I guess they assume "Admin" must be a domme or a man in order to be in charge here. Hmph!
I've accepted that no one reads my profile. *sigh* But I correct them, then move on with a chuckle. Life's too short not to see the funny side of that one.
I sympathize for those of you who run into the clueless and the louts out there in cyber space. I only IM with people I know, like Wolfie and Fanny. Anymore that's rare because I don't have much time these days. That's my pet peeve - there aren't enough hours in the day for all I want to do online. If I could just stop having to take that nightly break for sleep, I'd be alright.
Which is what I need to do now. Goodnight and sweet dreams, everyone!  |
Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 324
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 09, 2006 - 05:27 am: |
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Hi, Wolfie. Here's my take on what happened earlier in post...cause I sort of took it the same way Shylah did, initially.
You now wrote: "I'm sorry you feel that way Shylah, I was under the impression that I was explaining MY feelings. Not anyone else's. "
I was happy to see this.
When I saw your original admonishment of the cyber "loser" comment, I took it as coming from the Moderator, not the person (you). I read it to mean...or suggest, a possible violation to the rules here, by just her stating her opinion in such a way.
If the remarks were coming just from "Wolfie"...that really changes the tone/intent of the post.
I do hope that helps for both you and Shylah. I think it was perhaps an emotional reaction for all of us. I thought it was something "I" had written, and was why I reacted and questioned it earlier, because it had followed my own posting. When you explained it then...it was Shylah's turn to react.
I think we need a group hug! 
Hope that helps figure out how that all happened.
K |
Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 325
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 09, 2006 - 05:32 am: |
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Oh...OH ....I just thought of another Online pet peeve ...how about Online communications aren't able to REALLY convey how we really feel...and it's easy to read more into something, or interpret things not as they were truly intended.
The good part of it all is that it usually gets talked out, and resolved...as I hope it will be here.
K |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 985
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 09, 2006 - 12:45 pm: |
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Yes K, thats a difficulty Ive had since the first time I went online. Cyber can be really tricky when your trying to explain your feelings.
If I am going to be speaking as a moderator, I will try and always say so. And the only times I will do that is if a site rule is broken. Any other time I post I am speaking as me, wolfie, and no one else. Those were my feelings and experiences I was posting...and of course only my opinion.
We wont always agree on things here at the Den, but as you said, I hope we can always talk them out and remember that one persons opinion doesnt neccesarily have to be your own.
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 596
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 09, 2006 - 01:22 pm: |
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That's why in the beginning I tried to have two identities, "Admin" and "Bethie." "Admin" was supposed to be my working id to address serious problems on the board and "Bethie" was going to be my day-to-day id. But that went to crap really quickly because I kept forgetting to log out and then back in under the right id. Occasionally I get it right.
Yeah, it's easy to have misunderstandings using this type of communication, but it happens in real-life as well and you have to muddle through that so you have to expect the same here. As long as we all keep trying to communicate and talk these things out with each other, we'll be okay. Thanks for keeping the lines of communication open and talking this out! |
Shylah
Advanced Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 584
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 10, 2006 - 08:31 am: |
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To clarify:
I was NOT calling ALL people that cyber losers. I was calling that ONE person a loser due to his instance of trying to get me to give him personal details as he sat in front of his computer playing with himself.
I will not be a party to that.
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Ma_vie_en_rose
New member
Username: Ma_vie_en_rose
Post Number: 5
Registered: 01-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, January 29, 2006 - 01:23 am: |
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I have so many petpeeves even that do not relate to more sensual online escapades.
I have always been averse to people who cannot be bothered to type out "you" or "are" or simillar words. "U" "R" or even the horrid abomination "ur" (for examples), are just the bane of my existence. It does not save that much time and truly just makes people seem quasi-literate.
I suppose this is a bit of a specialised thing, but I roleplay when I'm online. I don't like when people message me, just wanting to roleplay and seem to have no interest in getting to know me as a person. My inner gemini foams at the mouth with that >.<
And.. cybering does have it's place, but... I definitely have to agree on the random messages trying to incite some sort of cyber tryst. ^_^; makes me recall why I fell out of chats..
But the worst is people who just have nothing to say. When did the art of conversation die, I ask?
The majority of my online contact is through messengers. I'm just dreadful with e-mail, so that may influence a lot of it. |
Katie_spades
Advanced Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 308
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, January 29, 2006 - 01:44 am: |
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This is too unny because I'll be online (AOL) jusst to check mail and I get bombarded with IMs from people whom I have no idea who they are and I want to be polite but I also want to get to my mail before class, LOL.
I'm sorry, but not as sorry as I'm gonna be.
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Ma_vie_en_rose
New member
Username: Ma_vie_en_rose
Post Number: 11
Registered: 01-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, January 29, 2006 - 02:45 am: |
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Oh! Utterly understandable. I like leaving my away messages on to avoid that bit, Katie. ^_~
....actually it's more I forget to take them down XD |
Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 411
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, January 29, 2006 - 07:11 am: |
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On AOL, IMs primarily come from having a "profile" listing. If you don't have a profile, with 'hot' key words, people don't usually have your name to send messages. Also you can block IMs from those you don't want to be bothered with, or turn them off completely.
If you just want to turn IMs off in one session, you can prepare to send an IM message by pulling it up....In the "Send To" box, type: $IM_OFF and then type something (anything) in the message box. Hit "send" and your messages are then turned off for that session your online. You'll need to do this each time, if you don't do it permanently in your preferences section. (I do it when I'm not in the mood for chat.)
To turn them back on, in that same session, do the same, but type: $IM_ON
Using this feature is JUST for the session you are currently sign online for, and you're not setting a default. |
Tammynx
Advanced Spanko
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 270
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, January 29, 2006 - 09:34 am: |
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Ma vie en rose: I SO agree with you about people not typing out the whole word..it drives me NUTS. That and spelling words wrong. Typos are one thing but always doing it wrong...just makes you look silly. |
Ma_vie_en_rose
New member
Username: Ma_vie_en_rose
Post Number: 22
Registered: 01-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, January 29, 2006 - 10:56 am: |
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ftopinmichigan, Well yes, but some people are perfectly allowable distractions .
Tammy: Oh, I know. I mean, admittedly, I'm lax on my capitalization whilst IMing, but x.X It just completely turns me off a conversation if a person can't be bothered to be intelligent. Don't even get me started on words like "gr8." It's like a junior high note. >.< Do people think it's cute... or cool? or--I don't even know what it is that keeps that assault on English alive. |
Eod
New member
Username: Eod
Post Number: 15
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, January 29, 2006 - 10:38 pm: |
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I thought I was the last holdout for English conventions. This discussion is going seriously in the right direction.
The shortforms used at this and other sites are (unintentionally I'm sure) an enormous excluder. If you don't know what they mean: a) reading the thread is liking walking with a stone in your shoe - that's the only thing you can think about and b) you feel stupid not being in the know and equally stupid when you find out what it means without ever having figured it out for yourself.
As far as things like "ur" and "gr8", they seem banal to me, but with such frequency of use, I'm beginning to think my standard forms are anal.
On the other hand...I do like hearing words or phrases that aren't correct but are a clue to the meaning.
For instance, I have a friend who constantly refers to her mother's bad memory as being caused by Old Timer's disease.
A work acquaintance once told me that his wife was in the hospital having a duck removed from her breast.
When I taught elementary school, kids habitually complained about someone stepping in front of them in line - "She budged!"
As well, kids who didn't win a competition always wanted to get a "participaction" ribbon - a holdover from the name of a long-running government ad campaign in Canada to motivate people to become more fit. "Participation" was virtually removed from the language for about 20 years.
There's one more floating around in the recesses of my mind - I heard it yesterday, but my OldTimers disease has kicked in. Sorry. |
Katie_spades
Advanced Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 319
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 30, 2006 - 01:56 am: |
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Good ideas and thank you - I just feel so bad being rude... I know I shouldn't but I totally do.
I'm sorry, but not as sorry as I'm gonna be.
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Ma_vie_en_rose
New member
Username: Ma_vie_en_rose
Post Number: 25
Registered: 01-2006
| | Posted on Monday, January 30, 2006 - 03:02 am: |
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I know on AIM you can be invisible. If they can't see you, they never have to know you're on.
I'm pretty sure I remember the same from AOL.
It's not really ruder than ignoring IMs .-. |
Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 416
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 30, 2006 - 08:25 am: |
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The other feature, on AOL, that's nice, is when you receive an offensive IM, or one from someone you never care to talk to, you can hit the "report" button (or whatever they call it). You're not "reporting" the message by hitting this button, unless of course it IS offense, but you will then also have the option to block the IMs from that one person. That SN will be added to a list, and they will no longer be able to IM you.
I agree with Ma vie en rose. Ignoring IMs is not rude at all. Sometimes them coming in, unsolicited, is the rude part.
If you answered EVERY IM you received, you'd never have time for yourself, I bet. I have my own profile VERY specific about contacts, and it's cut down the interruptions considerably.
K |
Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 417
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 30, 2006 - 08:27 am: |
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Oh...staying on topic too....I used to hate (pet peeve) on the early AOL (3.0 back then), when I used to have a VERY small capacity modem and when I got am IM, I'd lose my webpage. ARRRRRgggghhhh! Thank goodness for advances in technology!
K |
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