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Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 418
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 30, 2006 - 08:44 am: | 
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Let me preface that this situation is NOT from anyone on this site! 
I have my profile listed on several BDSM sites, and a few spanking sites.
I was recently contacted by a man, that lives maybe 4-5 hours away (in spite of my profile indicating local to Detroit only). I exchanged a few e-mails with him, to reiterate my own position on not meeting men traveling through town (and that I was in fact seeking a "relationship" not just casual encounters), to which he argued [yes, argued!) and told me that my thinking was totally wrong. Of course that made me laugh. 
He felt is was more than appropriate, and even desired to find a partner out of town. [Flag for "married" IMO]
He went on, to tell me that he was unable to find a lady partner near his home and that one (meaning ME) should expect to have to go outside the area to find a partner. (I love when a man tells me what I should do!  )
I told him that it was more than acceptable for "him" to make that exception, but that since I had the opportunity to make my own choices, that I did NOT have to seek a long distance relationship.
I had some difficulty understanding his thinking, to tell "me" that I was wrong in my thinking. Not a good move anyway, if you're trying to attract a lady's attention, right?
Anyway, he pulls up my profile every single day. (A site feature is to "see" who looks at your profile.) Not a day goes by, that his name doesn't appear on my log.
I'm finding this quite creepy, and not understanding his thinking. I'm wondering if it's bordering on him having a bit of a stalker type mentality, or if he's yankin' my chain somehow.
What would be the point of forcing himself on me, by popping up in my log daily.
Creepy, to me. Creepy to you?
Got any creepy situations...how'd you handle them?
K |
Redhinney
Spanko
Username: Redhinney
Post Number: 155
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 30, 2006 - 09:17 am: |
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Top,
Is there some way to block this man from seeing your profile. I know I have blocked people from my personal e mail so they get a message that says something like "This person has denied you access to her e mail account.
Love can't always be seen or hear but will always be felt with your heart
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Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 419
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 30, 2006 - 09:39 am: |
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Red, I know you can block them from sending e-mail, but I don't know if it totally blocks the profile. I searched the site for the info on the blocking feature, but it's not explained beyond the e-mail feature. Thanks for the suggestion.
K |
Tammynx
Advanced Spanko
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 277
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 30, 2006 - 09:49 am: |
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I think its creepy!! What does he have to gain by checking your profile everyday?? It just really strange. It seems to me to be very stalkerish...(I know that isn't a word) but what else do you call it? At least he doesn't know where you live. I wish I had some advice but I don't really know how you can stop a creepy person like that. Let me think on this some today..... |
Redhinney
Spanko
Username: Redhinney
Post Number: 159
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 30, 2006 - 09:57 am: |
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Sorry I came back to this because it sort of is making my skin crawl. I don't know why I didn't think of this but did you reprot this to the adminstrator of the list. Also e mail is now considered the same as sending something thur the US post office so there might be something there regarding police action. But before I do that I would contact the adminstrotor of the list see what they can do for you.
Love can't always be seen or hear but will always be felt with your heart
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Pinkcheeks
Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 58
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 30, 2006 - 10:19 am: |
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wow...this IS creepy!! My suggestion was to contact the administrator of the list too...sure hope that helps K
My favorite color? pink of course
"But honey...wait...I didn't mean it!!"
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Shylah
Advanced Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 624
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 30, 2006 - 11:36 am: |
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K, I think you are right. He's married and wanting to satisfy his needs. However, he sounds very desperate and sometimes that can get dangerous.
I would start by blocking him in every way available to you. If you know who his internet provider is, you can contact them with his user name and email addy and let them know he is making a nuisance of himself. I would cease any and all communication. Even if you haven't given him any personal details, a desperate person can get info. I suspect that is the reason he constantly checks your profile...to watch for any new information in order to find a way to you. I would also make notes of everything I know about him in case you do suspect him stalking. That way you will have some information to give authorities if it becomes necessary.
Keep us informed! I'll worry if you don't!
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 421
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 30, 2006 - 11:57 am: |
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Thank you to all of you for sort of seeing what I'm seeing from this one, but he's not doing anything but "viewing" the profile at this point. We had a two e-mail exchange, for me to reiterate my point of not having interest in long distance anything, and he's "only" viewing my profile everyday. He is not making contact with me, except one additional time to beg again. The creepy part is in his constant daily viewing. He's not breaking any rules of the site by just viewing the profile. Should he continue to make contact, that would be an issue. His three e-mails, while all self centered, were polite enough. He did not threaten me in any way, so he's done nothing technically wrong...except creep me out a bit, and that may just be his intent too.
I do think his antics are that of someone that DOES have the potential to be stalkerish (Tammy, the word works for me too! ) Or he is just someone VERY desperate, and lonely. I'm not bad looking, but even I don't want see my mug everyday. (Oh, and FYI, it's the same photo that I have here.)
I can't figure the motive behind it.
Thankfully, I shared no personal info with him, although I suspect it wouldn't hard to find me, if someone really wanted to.
K |
Shylah
Advanced Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 625
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 30, 2006 - 11:59 am: |
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All the same K...please be careful.
And I happen to think your "mug" is very nice and pleasant!!
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 662
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 30, 2006 - 12:52 pm: |
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If I were you, I'd go ahead and make the admin of the site aware of the situation. It is creepy and it might be just the beginning of a problem. Also, they might have access to tools you don't and may be able to see if he's doing anything else behind the scenes or has done this to anyone else.
If nothing else, someone else will be aware of the problem besides just you. Two sets of eyes are always better than one.
I hope you get this resolved quickly, K! Take care.  |
Beachley
Advanced Spanko
Username: Beachley
Post Number: 276
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, January 30, 2006 - 04:37 pm: |
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FT - let me just ask another question. I know that on some sites you can just bring up all (insert the parameters... females in Timbucktoo) and it will list everyone. If he is doing that it just may be easier for him to just click on everyone to view each vs. sorting out those he has seen and those he has not seen and that is not nearly as threatening.
Just a thought. Not that I'm on his side or anything. He simply sounds desparate and perhaps using a wide net to catch as many hits as he can.
I'd contact the admin of the site and just ask.
The Spice of Life is having my OWN WAY!! A spanking would be nice.
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Katie_spades
Advanced Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 325
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 - 12:53 am: |
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omg this is scary - is there anyway he can track you for real?
I'm sorry, but not as sorry as I'm gonna be.
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Rob
New member
Username: Rob
Post Number: 15
Registered: 01-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 - 01:57 am: |
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Just remove your profile for a while. Then put it back on after a few weeks. But really, he doesn't have any personal info, and you can block his emails. What you really need to worry about are the non-obvious dangerous folk. If you do meet someone on line, remember to meet them in a public place and find out something about him (like a phone number) and tell a friend that you are going on a date with someone, and when you expect to be back. |
Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 424
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 - 05:59 am: |
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Yeah, Katie, I'd think it would be easy to track someone that is very vocal (publicly AND online) and visible (in real life). It really doesn't take long to find someone in the community that will talk (unfortunately). I have had a few people, even "friends," give out personal information inadvertently. One couple announced at a party where I worked (VERY specifically where I worked, with location too), to complete strangers, which should've been enough to get them kicked out of the group, but it wasn't.
I'm out, with no concerns of my interest being used against me, it's more that I've had incidences of a few men "attaching" themselves to me, in the past, and while harmless, it's still creepy. (Two created over a dozen names online to make contact with me, and when I finally figured them both out, and called them on it, their game was over, and apparently no fun for them. They stopped. For some, that type of "play" is all they seek.)
Rob, I appreciate your suggestion, about leaving the site, but won't honor the man with getting ANY satisfaction from his antics. (In fact, I probably shouldn't have even posted about it here, in case he reads this...he'd be having a field day.)
I do think that female Top and Dommes tend to attract this type, just be default of us not being so prevalent in the community at large. Some sub/bottom men become desperate in their search, because of a lack in numbers alone. Most...no, many...okay, SOME, are respectful of the profiles I have listed though.  It's funny how a lady becomes a "target" when listed a profile anywhere. (It IS my choice though, so I'm not really complaining.)
I'm sure it's harmless...just irritating.
K
PS I won't scare you with the real life stories. |
Hexo
New member
Username: Hexo
Post Number: 2
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 - 11:02 am: |
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That sounds irritating, but I wouldn't worry about it. I once stalked five women at the same time and nothing serious came of it. But seriously..
If he is just pulling up your profile maybe its part of his own drifting around desperate style and he isnt aware that his name is getting on your log?
Just ignoring him is sure to work eventually but how annoying to have to put up with him until he leaves.
Since the basis of your relationship with him is an argument, you may be able to turn this to your advantage by telling him telling him that you already found another guy closer. |
Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 429
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 - 12:11 pm: |
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Hexo...five women? My, you're muti talented.
You may be right, that he's not aware he's even showing up on the log. I'm gonna go with that!
Actually...I had thought to tell him that I'd be happy to meet him, and ask him to drive over.  ...but I'm not really THAT mean!
K |
Spankingcouple
Spanko
Username: Spankingcouple
Post Number: 72
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 - 07:15 pm: |
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K,have you given any thought to pulling your profile from this site? anyone needs to be pro active before something happens. he does sound like a creep and needs to be reported.
good luck,
trish |
Katie_spades
Advanced Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 328
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 - 10:08 pm: |
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Yeah, Katie, I'd think it would be easy to track someone that is very vocal (publicly AND online) and visible (in real life). It really doesn't take long to find someone in the community that will talk (unfortunately). I have had a few people, even "friends," give out personal information inadvertently. One couple announced at a party where I worked (VERY specifically where I worked, with location too), to complete strangers, which should've been enough to get them kicked out of the group, but it wasn't.
K - that is very scary!
I'm sorry, but not as sorry as I'm gonna be.
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Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 437
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 06:48 am: |
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There was no view all day yesterday, so I thought maybe he gave up, but there he was this morning.
I took all of the advice, and wrote directly to the site administrator.
Thanks again,
K |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1222
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 08:42 am: |
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Gee Hexo, a man that can multi-task! I'm suitably impressed! 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Hexo
New member
Username: Hexo
Post Number: 8
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 01:27 pm: |
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You aint seen nothing yet. When it suits me, I can manage multiple entirely different versions of reality. |
Katie_spades
Advanced Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 350
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Monday, February 06, 2006 - 06:51 pm: |
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LOL Wolfie!!! Too funny!
I'm sorry, but not as sorry as I'm gonna be.
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