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Message |
    
Jasmine_1958
New member
Username: Jasmine_1958
Post Number: 8
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 14, 2006 - 03:43 pm: | 
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A couple of nights ago I wanted to go out with some friends, but felt guilty leaving him home and bored alone. So I offered a special sexual favor when I got home that night. When I got home I was tired and a little drunk, so I told him to take a raincheck. The next morning I had a headache, of course. He now has given me 3 days to give him the favor or I get a hard spanking. I say sex should be when both partners are in the mood. He says bullshit. So what do you think. Do I deserve one? |
Shylah
Advanced Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 659
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 14, 2006 - 04:23 pm: |
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I agree with you. Sex between partners should be mutual. It should also be shared for the enjoyment, not for just the one person. If he spanks you over this, he's way in the wrong.
P.S. Offering a sexual favor to be able to do what an adult woman has the right to do is off base to begin with...but that is MY opinion
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Tammynx
Advanced Spanko
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 305
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 14, 2006 - 04:39 pm: |
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I agree that you both should be in the mood...but promising a favor then not delivering well...not exactly a very good thing. |
Pinkcheeks
Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 103
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 14, 2006 - 04:56 pm: |
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Gotta agree with Tam and Shylah...both partners should be in the mood and one should not be forced. Although a promise is a promise, I don't necessarily agree that you should be "spanked hard" (imho)
"Thought I was being a good girl...really I did!"
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Redhinney
Advanced Spanko
Username: Redhinney
Post Number: 232
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 14, 2006 - 05:07 pm: |
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I am sort of in the middle it really depends on your relationship. For us both of us have to be in the mood that being said there have been times that I was told that we would be having a 3 S weekend (spanking sex and submission) and found the fact that I had no control over it very exciting. However youa re having a problem with this or you wouldn't have posted.
I beleive that your question is really two problems 1. Sorry you can get mad but what the hell were you thinking. Don't ever promise a man a "special" sexual favor and think you can get away without doing it.
2. How much did you drink- I would and have gotten spanked for drinking ( I have never drank more than 3 drinks) and I now have a 2 drink limit no matter the reason or how long the night is. and if I go over that I can accept to be over his knee
Do you owe him this special favor I say let your conscience be your guide
Love can't always be seen or heard but will always be felt with your heart
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Kennysspankee
Spanko
Username: Kennysspankee
Post Number: 147
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 14, 2006 - 05:14 pm: |
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You made the deal now pay up or accept the consequences. Ain't I harsh? |
Jasmine_1958
New member
Username: Jasmine_1958
Post Number: 11
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 14, 2006 - 05:20 pm: |
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Ok, I don't know what the hell I was thinking. Usually going out with the girls makes me ready when I get home. I guess that's what I was thinking. But too much alcohol changed that. I probably had 7 or 8 beers. Oops! And yes I get spanked for that sometimes, but I told him I only had 3, and must have seemed sober enough for him to believe it. |
Kennysspankee
Spanko
Username: Kennysspankee
Post Number: 148
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 14, 2006 - 07:07 pm: |
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Soooo.... let me get this straight. You promised a favor to relieve yourself of feeling guilt for leaving him alone, then proceeded to drink more than you should have, renegged on your promise and fooled him into believing you weren't as intoxicated as you were. Sounds like a couple of naughties in there. Overdrinking, lying and reneggin'. You're lucky if you only get one spanking even if you don't reneg on the deal. LYYYIIINNNNGGGG!!!?? |
Jasmine_1958
New member
Username: Jasmine_1958
Post Number: 13
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 14, 2006 - 07:12 pm: |
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Oh damn, I forgot about the lying part. I'm in trouble... |
Youngone
Spanko
Username: Youngone
Post Number: 96
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 14, 2006 - 07:20 pm: |
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Well I was about to say no because of the sexual needing to be agreed upon by both people. But now that you admitted to Lying and other things its safe to say that you deserve one. I hate to tell you. Sorry and good luck!! |
Jasmine_1958
New member
Username: Jasmine_1958
Post Number: 14
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 14, 2006 - 07:27 pm: |
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OK, I am so busted. What should I do about it now, beside the promise? |
Youngone
Spanko
Username: Youngone
Post Number: 97
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 14, 2006 - 07:33 pm: |
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Well you need to keep your promise but might as well enjoy it. The best thing you can do is be honest. The longer you allow the lies to simmer to more your butt will simmer at the end of it!! Plus honesty is always the way to go. So I would go tell him what all happened and see what he has to say. Good luck!!!  |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1319
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 14, 2006 - 07:56 pm: |
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Confess, accept the punishment and apologize. You'll feel so much better once you do. 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Shylah
Advanced Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 660
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 14, 2006 - 08:13 pm: |
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I still say that to spank you or have sex is just not right.
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Sinderella
New member
Username: Sinderella
Post Number: 11
Registered: 01-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 14, 2006 - 08:28 pm: |
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I'm with Shylah as far as the sex situation. A promise is a promise yes, but why should you have to even use a sexual favor as a permission slip to go out with friends?
However, lying... yikes. That certainly might get you spanked. I hope you and your friends had a sober driver for the evening!
Good luck with everything!  |
Beachley
Advanced Spanko
Username: Beachley
Post Number: 299
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 14, 2006 - 09:07 pm: |
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Yep - I think I'd forget about the sex and spanking problem. That is probably at the bottom of your list about right now. Particularly when he finds out you were drunker than he even imagined and then you misled him also.
I think it's time to just confess up, apologize and accept the consequences whatever they may be.
The Spice of Life is having my OWN WAY!! A spanking would be nice.
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Tmichellebrat
Spanko
Username: Tmichellebrat
Post Number: 108
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 14, 2006 - 09:16 pm: |
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I have to agree with Shylah and Sindrella about the sex because even in a D/s or DD relationship you should not have to promise a sexual favor just so you can go out with your friends. As far as the drinking more than you were allowed and then lying about it ...well as my Dom would say that is a spankable offense. I agree with wolfie ...confess your sins, accept the punishment and apologize to him because you will feel better after the fact. |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1323
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 14, 2006 - 10:43 pm: |
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I got the impression that it was Jasmine's idea to give him the sexual favor, not her husbands. He merely looked forward to it, probably knowing as she said that she normally came home from these outings "in the mood". Now she doesnt want to fulfill her promise?
Im not saying she should give him what was promised "just because"...I agree that you should never bargain with sex or feel obligated sexually. Just saying that it was a mistake to do so in the first place. And I dont think he should be blamed for feeling tricked or lied to...although spanking Jasmine for not going thru with her promise wouldnt be right either.
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Kennysspankee
Spanko
Username: Kennysspankee
Post Number: 149
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 12:01 am: |
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Don't let him see this thread, say nothing an' I'll never tell, Oh yea, give him his sexual favor, a couple of them. |
Katie_spades
Advanced Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 403
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 12:35 am: |
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I hope I don't offend you but in my opinion you definitely deserve a spanking and not when you are drunk or hungover, but when you are totally straight and can focus on what you did and your well-deserved punishment.
I'm sorry, but not as sorry as I'm gonna be.
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Redhinney
Advanced Spanko
Username: Redhinney
Post Number: 235
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 07:50 am: |
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I see the problem as three fold as I mentioned before. Oneyou drank way to much and two you lied big time about it. As I said before to promise something and not do it to me is a problem. Williams expression is don't write a check that your ass can't cash.
I think you have to tell the truth why you don't want to or can't do as promised and accept whatever you get.
Sex between to consenting adults is ot a deal breaker and sould never be used as a punishment - just my thoughts
Love can't always be seen or heard but will always be felt with your heart
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1326
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 08:17 am: |
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Steve loves that saying too Red. 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 446
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 08:51 am: |
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To the OP, IMO, you are the one that bargained with the sexual favor in the first place. You made the deal. He accepted the deal. You broke the deal.
I don't see that it really matters "what" the deal was at this time, as it was used to manipulate the outcome of the situation. You offered something to get what you wanted.
I agree with the other people that said sex should not be used as a bargaining tool, or punishment, but a deal's a deal in my book.
Otherwise, it's you manipulating the relationship to your desires alone.
I feel in retrospect, the input of a sexual favor would be a bad move for anyone to "use," but it doesn't change my opinion that you should comply with what you originally offered, or pay the consequences.
K
PS Also want to point out that my opinion is coming from me as a woman, and not just as a Top. I feel trust is at issue with this situation, and to break a deal...well, that's a deal breaker for me.  |
Jasmine_1958
New member
Username: Jasmine_1958
Post Number: 15
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 10:09 am: |
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All points well taken. Thanks. I obviously should not have made the deal in the first place, but it happened. I took care of the deal for Valentine's Day and all is happy in the household...for the moment. I never felt guilty and forgot that I had lied until Kennysspankee pointed it out. Now Sinderella has reminded me of another offense. Yes, I drove home.  But in my defense, it's a small town. There is only one cop and he's a friend. It was only 6 blocks from the bar to our house and I didn't drive on any highways or main roads. Yes, I could have walked but it was cold and I was again trying to save my fanny.
E & I make sexual promises to each other all the time. The anticipation really turns us on. I didn't use it do get to go out. I don't have to get permission to go out with friends. It was just a dumb little thing that got big.
So I like Kennysspankee's response. Don't let him see this thread and move on??? |
Youngone
Spanko
Username: Youngone
Post Number: 100
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 11:08 am: |
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Well I am glad things are calm in your household. But I do have 1 comment. I live in a small town too and a guy thought, like you, that he was safe driving home after drinking. To make a long story short I am suffering from his mistake because he almost killed me. I was 17 years old and my life flipped upside down because someone thought they were safe driving home and for the last almost 3 years I have had to suffer and will have to deal for the rest of my life. You might have been trying to save yourself but what if you would have hurt someone? could a couple days of a sore bottom be truly worse then spending the rest of your life behind bars? Please no one think that you are safe driving home after drinking because there are innocent people on the roads that did not ask to have their worlds come crashing down. Oh and you said that you didnt take any main roads like highways, My wreck was on a side road not on a highway or something like that. Just a little thought to ponder.
But I am glad it got worked out. |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1329
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 11:14 am: |
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Its your choice Jasmine, to handle as you see fit. But d&d is run on trust, honesty and respect for each other...and I dont see how you can just not tell him what you did and believe you are in that kind of a relationship.
Driving while under the influence is still wrong, no matter how close you were to your house. You could have hit someone else out walking, even within 6 blocks. And what does the cop being a friend have to do with you breaking the law?
I dont know you well enough to know if your into d&d or not, but if you are it doesnt sound like your taking it seriously.
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 450
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 12:33 pm: |
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"Yes, I drove home. But in my defense, it's a small town. There is only one cop and he's a friend. It was only 6 blocks from the bar to our house and I didn't drive on any highways or main roads. Yes, I could have walked but it was cold and I was again trying to save my fanny. "
+++++++++++++++
Lecture mode on:
There's NO excuse for driving drunk/impaired!
Close proximity to your home does not place you under some sort of cloak of safety. The fact that you KNOW the cop in town is going to save you from possible arrest, but what about your life, and those of others in your path?
Your worried about saving your ass?...how about the fact that you could've killed yourself, or someone innocent?
I am shocked that grown people still think they can drink and drive. 
A few years ago, my neighbor drove to the liquor store, five blocks away, after a full morning of fishing and drinking. He ran outta beer. Only five blocks away, a shorter distance than what you've said, and he didn't yield when required, on the corner, one block from his home. Instead he swerved to miss an oncoming car (full of young ones), that had the right of way. He just missed my father's front door, and drove into a car. That car hit the one in front of it. That car then hit the one in front of it. And need I say...THAT next car hit the one in front of it too. The car in the middle was standing on end...on the front bumper, with the rear bumper in the air. He was close to home. No cops around. No one got hurt (thank goodness), but I guess that's okay, right? He felt he could drive and he could...right into other cars. It is a wonder no one was killed.
Youngone, I am glad you survived the trauma of your accident. A clear indication that another had no concern for you, or themselves.
We had an incident here, this past summer in Farmington Hills, Michigan. A man hit an SUV. He killed a mother and her two small children. They didn't stand a chance. The man was so drunk, he still didn't know where he was the following day. One drunk driver, wiped out an entire family. I'm sure he thought he could drive too.
Don't think you're safe, because you're close to home. In fact, you're probably in more danger, according to statistics.
Lecture mode off.
K |
Pinkcheeks
Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 107
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 01:03 pm: |
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Well Jas, I don't think I need to repeat what Youngone, Wolfie, and K said. I am sure you got their messages loud and clear. As I reviewed this thread, I have to amend what I had said earlier about a spanking for you - it has nothing to do with favors or deals or going out-it has everything to do with drunk driving. I know that "R" would be seeing red if that were me. I would be severely spanked not for lying or going out or not doing a "favor" - it would be all about how I put myself or someone else in danger.
I am glad everything is ok with you now. Be more careful next time ok? We want to have you around to chat with...
"Thought I was being a good girl...really I did!"
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Jasmine_1958
New member
Username: Jasmine_1958
Post Number: 17
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 02:29 pm: |
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OK, loud and clear! You are all definitely correct. I was only thinking of myself. I am not a bad person, but I made a terrible error in judgement. I will fess up and take my punishment. Thanks for the help. I'm sure I'll feel better about all this when I'm done. |
Pinkcheeks
Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 108
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 03:39 pm: |
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"Thought I WAS being a good girl...really I did!"
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Redhinney
Advanced Spanko
Username: Redhinney
Post Number: 237
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 04:29 pm: |
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Jasmine,
in 1962 my parnets died as a result of a person who thought that they could drive home. My parents were driving normal speed but the other car was weaving in and out. I was 8 years old My father died of massive head injuries my mother tow days later. I was in the back seat and came out with broken arm and two broken legs and some internal injuries. I am well healed by now but omething very important was taken from me before I even had the chance to love them and that was my parnets. My childhood was sent in another country growing up with grandparents I hardly knew speaking a language I had no idea about. I was the ugly american in italy. My education was affected by this even and to this day when ever I am at a party or soemplace with friend I will be the driver so no one ever drives after
drinking. Never and I repeat never drink and drive the live you save maybe the parnets of some young children. My lecture is over but my story is true and the people who have been on this list a while know that I hint at it in many of my shawn and Maddy stories
(Message edited by redhinney on February 15, 2006)
Love can't always be seen or heard but will always be felt with your heart
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Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 451
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 05:00 pm: |
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Red, I thank you for sharing this tragic event with us. I only hope that it helps remind people that would otherwise take a drink the next time they're out.
It also shows that strength of character comes about by our life's experiences, and I'm just sorry your's have been some very hard lessons to learn. I cannot fathom what you must've gone through then, and even now.
My heart aches to hear about such senseless and preventable acts.
And to Jasmine, I'm glad that you're seeing things from a different point of view now, and that you're okay too.
K
PS And not to cast the first stone, as in my past life, I too enjoyed drinking with friends. I've learned from education, and unfortunately also through the tragedy of others, and am now a huge promoter of being responsible when drinking. And that means NO driving...at all. |
Shylah
Advanced Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 663
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 05:39 pm: |
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The sex issue has been dealt with and you've been properly lectured for drinking and driving.
Now it is time to sit down with your fella and confess all. Take what is coming to you and be done with it.
And for the record, I think you need a good hard spanking for your bad judgment.
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1332
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 06:54 pm: |
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Sorry to jump all over you Jasmine, but we would hate to hear you'd been killed or injured while driving under the influence. We'd like you to be around acting the brat like the rest of us for a very long time! 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Jasmine_1958
New member
Username: Jasmine_1958
Post Number: 19
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 07:00 pm: |
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Thanks for the lectures and support. I'll be standing and typing for a few days, I'm sure. |
Redhinney
Advanced Spanko
Username: Redhinney
Post Number: 240
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 08:04 pm: |
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Top,
Yes that one event did make me what I am today and that is one tough broad who doesn't know the mean of no or you can't do it. My grandparents loved me in a way that was very special but they were my grandparents. MY brothers were all so much older than me. My brother right before me was 12 when I was born. So when this happened they were all trying to get thier lives together. My education was so different than if I went to school in USA. I came back after the completion of what would be my 10th grade year at the age of 15. I knew nothing about American history but a hell of alot on european history and speaking a language that no one knew in the catholic high school I went to. They all thought how cool it was and I thought how wonderful that they all had thier parents. Funny how different people look at things.
In one of my Shawn and MAddy stories I hint at the fact that Maddy grow up in another country and that she took home all reports to have Shawn read for grammer and spelling. To this day Shawn (also known as Bill ) still reads all client reports for grammer and spelling before I even give them to the clerical staff to type. When I went to get my masters I decide to carry a higher GPA than write a thesis becase of my poor language skills.
Every year at prom time the local 3 high schools have asked me to speak about drinking and driving. Every year I saw them pictures of my parents at thier wedding, my mother expecting me with all the boys around her- God she was huge. I show them a picture of my parents holding me taking me to school and many of the milestones that a young child would have and than I saw them a picture that was taken of my father at the funeral and the one of my mother taken a her funeral. ANd the finally picture I show is my wedding me stand in the church waiting to walk but not with my father but my older brother- thier was no daddy's little girl song there was none of the normal stuff that happens to a bride with her parents becasue I had no parents left.
If my story makes one person stop and think before they get in the car after drinking than my parents didn't die needlessly.
Sorry if I made anyone sad but this is a part of me and I can't let anyone do something that I feel so strongly about.
Love can't always be seen or heard but will always be felt with your heart
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Tigerman
New member
Username: Tigerman
Post Number: 6
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, February 16, 2006 - 12:49 pm: |
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Jasmine...the rest have said it very well indeed and I will not try to improve on their points...bottom line....for lying and a bad error in judgement a well earned spanking is in order in my opinion |
Jasmine_1958
New member
Username: Jasmine_1958
Post Number: 33
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, February 19, 2006 - 11:52 pm: |
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It has been administered. SOUNDLY! |
Reader_girl
Spanko
Username: Reader_girl
Post Number: 76
Registered: 07-2005
| | Posted on Monday, February 20, 2006 - 09:25 am: |
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I hope you're doing okay.
Reader Girl
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Katie_spades
Advanced Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 429
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 22, 2006 - 10:43 pm: |
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I couldn't agree more with Wolfie's posts and I do hope as Reader girl said, that you are okay. How was the spanking? What did you get and how is your poor bum now?
I'm sorry, but not as sorry as I'm gonna be.
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Jasmine_1958
New member
Username: Jasmine_1958
Post Number: 42
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 09:46 am: |
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I actually received 3 punishment spankings in 3 days. They were absolutely the worst thing I have ever endured. It's been almost a week since the final one and I am still really sore and bruised, but I can sit still most of the day at work now. I am okay obviously, and I can say without even thinking twice that I will NEVER drink and drive again! |
Pinkcheeks
Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 129
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 11:10 am: |
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Lesson well learned
"Thought I WAS being a good girl...really I did!"
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Shylah
Advanced Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 683
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 12:02 pm: |
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Hugs to you for owning up to your mistakes and taking your punishments.
Sometimes we just do things without thinking...but then men do as well.
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Katie_spades
Advanced Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 444
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Friday, February 24, 2006 - 02:23 am: |
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I agree with Pinkcheecks and please, never drink and drive! You got punished for a good reason and I hope the lesson sticks - it was done out of love + no one here wants anything to happen to you. Congrats on the honestly and getting through the spanking - you should be commended. But make sure this lesson sticks - I think it will as you were thoroughly punished but in the same respect it's an important one.
I'm sorry, but not as sorry as I'm gonna be.
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