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Kryssi
New member
Username: Kryssi
Post Number: 35
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Monday, April 10, 2006 - 05:17 pm: | 
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Hey guys, I'm sorry to do this to you, I know we have discussed this before, but I cannot to save my life find the thread it was in.
Will you please post again the different stages of a spanking..The only one I remember is the anger stage of a woman (sub) but the signs that the spanker should watch for when he is spanking to know he's gotten the point across without being too harsh..
I believe it was Darwins and "R" (Fanny's husband) that had originally commented about it.
Please please please if you could repost it, I would be much appreciative.
Thanx guys,
"I'm so tired of being here... supressed by all my childish fears"
Evanescence ~ My Immortal
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Ladygator2904
New member
Username: Ladygator2904
Post Number: 21
Registered: 03-2006
| | Posted on Monday, April 10, 2006 - 06:04 pm: |
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I would like to know too. Soon my punishment toy will arrive from LT. As you know, Gary and I are a bit knew to this life style. I noticed when he does spank me, its all in a row, no time for rest, thus we stop too soon. etc.. I want to make sure this one leaves very long lasting memories, I don`t want him to stop too soon, I don`t want to need to call the safe word. I do want to remember that spanking anytime I feel like being unfaithful again.. sigh any suggestions on technique?
A woman`s heart is filled with an ocean of secrets!
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2101
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, April 10, 2006 - 07:12 pm: |
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The original thread was from September 2005 and is titled "When is enough......enough?" There are some cut and pastes:
I asked R to give his thoughts and here is what he wrote, maybe it will help.
The big issue that you need to keep in mind are the phases that the "spankee" goes through during the spanking. The phase that needs to be watched for very carefuly is the anger phase. This is the phase right before the contrition and assurances phase you mentioned.
It is very important that the spankee is NEVER left in this phase. Sometimes it is hard to judge when this phase has passed. Sometimes it is the tone of voice. Other times it is the stiffness of her body. Sometimes you just have to guess. Sometimes you can tell when you get her to change positions (in order to get complete coverage).
Setting up a predetermined number of swats is fine for play, but a real spanking can not be prearranged. A real spanking is emotional for both parties and the top must be past his emotional anger prior to the spanking occuring and must "feel" that she has truly paid for her spanking.
One of the things to keep in mind is who is in charge. If the spankee asks for it to be over and just claims she is sorry then you can not stop at that time. The spanking must be completed when the top feels he is done, not when she asks for it.
When it comes down to it I know when the time has come when my own emotion/disapointment/displeasure for the wrongful act is gone from my heart.
I know this sounds difficult to explain and it is. The important thing is that this is all done in love.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2102
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, April 10, 2006 - 07:14 pm: |
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cut and paste from Rocco:
I think Fanny's hubby hit right on the head. Thses types of spankings are emotional for both sides. And it's when the emotional release point is reached that a spanking can come to an end. By that I mean past the anger phase as R said. Discipline spanking were part of the relationship with a past girlfriend, and I could always tell she had gotten past the anger phase and hit her emotional release point by her body language. It was when she had gone limp over my knees I knew she was there. Everyone is different, and i think what it comes down to is the connection between the two people that make discipline spankings possible and actually work.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2103
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, April 10, 2006 - 07:15 pm: |
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cut and paste from Darwins:
As some of you may know I do do disciplinary spankings, and I have done a good few of them over the years and hated every one.
I think a truthful answer to Wolfies question is that until you have finished the punishment you are never sure what the final outcome is going to be. And……..no matter how experienced you are in this thing we do, no one can categorically say with certainty that they know exactly how things are going to turn out.
All you can reasonably do is judge your partner – both in the physical and mental state, and make your punishment decision based on your gut instinct and perhaps experience of what will be sufficient to get the job done.
In my opinion the punishment is NOT in the infliction of the physical pain, but in the mental anguish of knowing that this is a sad occasion, in the visual display of the disappointment and heartache that has been caused by your actions. If we care for some one, to have caused that wrenches at our deep emotions and no one will punish us more than we punish ourselves.
The actual physical punishment is more seen to be an act of closure rather than retribution for the sin.
As Wolfie already knows and Seri has commented, true punishments greatly affect a persons state of mind, and in this state of mind the pain thresholds plummet. There is never in my experience any need as the Dom, to concern yourself with handing out the hardest thrashing you have ever given to make the punishment real. A spanking that is usually far less in its intensity than you would give if you were simply playing for fun, has always for me been more than adequate to get the job done.
Wolfie will tell you that in the punishments she has had, I spanked her harder than I have ever spanked her (or at least that is how it felt to her), but I know that in reality the spankings were not much harder than our play warm ups. Such was the depth into her head that I managed to get.
I let my eyes, voice, words and body language do the punishing, I will never rely on the physical force alone to do the job because I do not believe that it ever will.
To summarise if I can. I don’t KNOW at the outset whether the punishment I have awarded is the absolute correct amount, neither do I KNOW at the end what the reaction is going to be. All I can ever do is make a judgement based on what I know of my partner – to award too much will be a disaster, but to award too little is almost insulting, and will not be satisfying enough to the partner that a closure has in deed been reached.
I judge what I think is necessary, and physically it will always be far less in its intensity than I know my partner can stand, and I will rely on her mental state to ratchet that intensity upwards and allow her to in fact do my job for me. Having set a number of strokes that we have agreed upon before we begin, I always carry them out to the end, even if there is a need to pause for recovery. (as Wolfie will attest, this has never been required). I do not moderate them or terminate them, nor do I believe in large numbers that prolong the episode. The objective is to reinforce the point and close the episode so that we can cuddle, put it behind us, and move on.
I don’t know if that answers your question my love or not, as it is hard to put into words, what for me at least, is simply my judgement of what is the right thing to do at the time.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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