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Mistress_whipazz
New member
Username: Mistress_whipazz
Post Number: 3
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Monday, November 14, 2005 - 02:15 am: | 
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I am more vanilla than my b/f. As a matter of fact, he's the spanko. Right now he has to self spank at my direction. Last night he spanked himself until he bruised. I'm not sure that I like that I instructed him to spank himself to that point. However, it's what he wants and I love him and want him happy and satisfied. How do I break out of my comfort zone? I want to be ready to give him what he wants and needs when he gets here. Has anyone else ever experienced this trepidation or had a loved one that did? I don't want to lose him. Help me. |
Kennysspankee
Junior Spanko
Username: Kennysspankee
Post Number: 55
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, November 14, 2005 - 05:12 am: |
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Then own up to your name and whip his ass! |
Ftopinmichigan
Junior Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 165
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, November 14, 2005 - 07:25 am: |
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If I might suggest, taking the name of "Mistress" may be too leading, for him, and anyone seeing your posts...if you're "more vanilla." "Mistress" is traditionally the title for a Domme. Unless you're pursuing many avenues within the realm of BDSM, which includes the pleasures of spanking fun, the title "Mistress" may be over the top. It also implies, not only a NON-vanilla, but a certain amount of implied experience. It's really giving the impression of a big bad name, for someone that isn't even a spanko, let alone a Domme. Perhaps a name that truly reflects who you are, might be more descriptive, and help to relieve some pressure (if nothing else, from others judging you, based on your name alone, like the poster above).
Only my suggestion, but why not find out what turns others on about spanking. Watch some hot videos...not the "whip ass" type, but the ones that are sensual, or even humorous, to see the hot pleasure side of it. If you can see what turns some others on, you might just find how it could please you, and him.
In the meantime, I'd say, let him spank, on your directions, if it works for both of you, but at least try to be physically involved by rubbing, and handing him various implements. Get in his face. Get close to him to feel his heat...not only from his well spanked bottom, but from his passion for you. Feel his breathing as he spanks himself, and try to feel his pleasure being derived from what your ordering him to do. Whisper directions in his ear so he can feel your breath. Make him shiver with excitement, fear and pleasure.
I don't know if a vanilla can be converted. I can tell you that I know quite a few that it's worked on, and they are quite happy. I don't know if many would continue with their interest, should their relationship end, but they are enjoying what they do now.
Don't give up. I do think you need to be a bit more hands-on  , if ya know what I mean.
K |
Mistress_whipazz
New member
Username: Mistress_whipazz
Post Number: 4
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 15, 2005 - 12:28 am: |
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Thanks. Hands on is just hard right now. He lives in another state. I think maybe things will be easier when he gets here and I do get more hands on experience. And more of a feel...for...well...everything. |
Ftopinmichigan
Junior Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 173
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 15, 2005 - 06:57 am: |
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I hadn't realized that you weren't "together" together.
Have you ever had the pleasure of spanking him?
K |
Mistress_whipazz
New member
Username: Mistress_whipazz
Post Number: 6
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 16, 2005 - 02:03 am: |
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No I haven't. All I have ever been able to do is listen to him on the phone or watch him on cam. It's not exactly the way to get the feel for things. Although I guess it helps to get used to the idea. |
Ftopinmichigan
Junior Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 178
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 16, 2005 - 06:36 am: |
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I think you're right....about "getting used to the idea," especially since you're mostly vanilla. I give you a lot of credit, to get involved, and have the desire to consider going further. He must be a special man, and you're proving to him that you're just as special, in return.
I hope you find your comfort level, and that it is good for both of you.
I might suggest some videos for you to enjoy. Spanking parties can be too overwhelming, but some videos, (the more sensual or erotic, to begin)might be a good way to "watch" others and learn at the same time. You could watch the technique and learn some, as well as view the reactions that you too might enjoy getting out of your man.
Ask "him" what videos he might enjoy, and then tell him to send them to you. 
It is hard to find good quality FM spanking, but Brooks Applications and Shadowlane have the better ones, that you might enjoy. Most of the rest, IMO, are far too harsh for those starting out.
Enjoy,
K
PS And if you ever get to Detroit, I enjoy showing someone the sites...and the ropes...and the paddles...and the.... |
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