| Author |
Message |
    
Shylah
Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 732
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 06:23 pm: | 
|
One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying
hysterically in the kitchen.
"What's wrong dearest??" asked the confused husband.
"Oh darling," sobbed the wife, "I was cleaning little Suzie's room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do???"
"Well," replied the man... "I guess a spanking is out of the question?"
***************************************************************************
Spanking Cute Ol Grannies
(sung to the tune of Yankee Doodle Dandy)
I love spanking cute ol' grannies
Spank-old-booty-dude am I
When I've whacked you you'll cry "uncle", ma'am
It's just the way I say Hi
Pretty soon they're gonna catch me
Then the spanking dude'll die
Spanking dude was beat to death by
Grandma and her cronies
Here lies that spanking-booty guy
****************************************************************
If there really was a spanking bandit, would they need to call in a SWAT team to catch him?
*****************************************************************
I for one ,am shocked and apalled,now put down that paddle and untie me,please!
*********************************************************
YOU KNOW YOU'RE KINKY WHEN...
- You keep the ACE Hardware catalog with your other pornography.
- You were always disappointed that the book Of Human Bondage wasn't.
- Sticks & stones may break your bones, but that's an acceptable risk.
- You read Andrea Dworkin for the pornography.
- Reading the word spanking makes you blush.
- Your first, favorite scout badge was for knot tying.
- You moved to Oregon so you could wear more raincoats.
- Kitchen utensils are found in your bedroom.
- Tack shops: Not just for equestrians anymore.
- You own and use handcuffs, but aren't employed in law enforcement.
- Your contracts involve punishments, but no money.
- Your friends covet the bondage cross in your bedroom.
- You hear about a Bridal Fashion Show to be held in your town, and you think, "Cool! I've always wanted to see what pony gear looks like ON someone!"
- Your entire Music collection consists of music you can Scene to.
- You give a new song a rating of 65. It's got a good beat and you can squirm to it.
- You start to salivate and get aroused as you pass the local candle factory.
- You always smell like Yankee Candle's Scent-Of-The-Month.
- Canning season gets you *really* excited.
- You see a sign in front of a house that reads, Chairs Caned, and you stop to see if the poor guy needs a PERSON to cane.
- Citibank calls you because someone used your credit card to make a huge purchase at a tack shop in another state, and they know that you live in a metropolitan area and don't own a horse.
- Your Avon Representative politely informs you that the company has no plans to make that Eau de Leather scent you have been pestering them about.
- Your idea of Fantasy Island looks far more like "Exit to Eden" than anything they showed on TV.
- They know you by name, size, and favorite colors at four local leather shops.
- You need an 18-wheeler to haul all your toys to a party.
**************************************************************************
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
|
Pinkcheeks
Junior Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 189
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, March 23, 2006 - 03:33 pm: |
|
You made my day Shylah ...thanks!
"Thought I WAS being a good girl...really I did!"
|
Nd2bspankd
New member
Username: Nd2bspankd
Post Number: 33
Registered: 11-2006
| | Posted on Monday, November 06, 2006 - 01:40 am: |
|
Shylah... I'm still recovering. Too funny!
"It's not easy being pink...er, I mean, green."
|
Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 1455
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, November 06, 2006 - 02:18 pm: |
|
Fuuny Shylah!!!
Thanks!! |
Straddlinnpaddlin
New member
Username: Straddlinnpaddlin
Post Number: 13
Registered: 11-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 14, 2006 - 12:45 am: |
|
Whoops, appears I'll need to learn message posting etiquette. My humble apologies to Shylah. Note: off topic post was removed. - Admin
Hey Shylah, I did a book report as a Sr. in High School on "Of Human Bondage"...I recall I chose that book 'cause I thought it would involve sex! Needless to say I was sadly mistaken!
According to your list, I AM kinky! |
Devilish_redhead
New member
Username: Devilish_redhead
Post Number: 4
Registered: 11-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 22, 2006 - 02:29 pm: |
|
I snuck "Of Human Bondage" out of a library bookshelf years ago, and after half an hour of skimming through the pages without finding a single kinky reference, put it back a sadder and wise man.
As for the Boy Scout merit badge, I can relate: knots are one of things I liked most when I was learning to sail. =)
"You'd find it easier to be bad than good if you had red hair," said Anne reproachfully. "People who haven't red hair don't know what trouble is." Anne of Green Gables
|
|
Lighter Side Of Spanking