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Gypsygirl
Spanko
Username: Gypsygirl
Post Number: 273
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, May 20, 2006 - 07:15 am: | 
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I'm looking for a bit of feedback from those amongst you who have some sort of view on what they see as the difference between Americans and English in regards to understanding each other.
I take part in an on-line discussion group that is USA based and quite frankly there is sometimes a break-down in communication because of our very different ways of approaching things. So, can I ask, what do you think of us? Do you understand our sense of humour? Do you think that we are too 'in your face' or direct in our approach to discussing things? Do you understand that when we sometimes get bitchy it's because we feel that there is enough of a connection to be able to take that liberty? Do you understand that our casually thrown insults are in fact a sign of affection? Do you understand that in general as a race, we are naturally reticent about being overly demonstrative and gushy shows of care isn't in our genetic make-up? Do you understand our sarcasm? What do you think is our opinion of you?
Maybe it's just that the group I am on happens to be made up of very shy people, but to me it seems that they are all very wary of saying something that might, just possibly, could, perhaps, maybe, upset someone so the conversations become banal and trite (in my English opinion of course). I don't really see that attitude here so I thought I would pick your brains. I know that there are people on this site who have close relationships with English people and I'd be interested in hearing how they see the difference in cultures and whether they find us hard to understand.
Anyone got any notions?
I foresee spankings........LOTS of spankings
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1703
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, May 20, 2006 - 09:21 am: |
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Ummmm...hmmmmm. Well, how to say this without upsetting anyone.
I feel we Americans and you Brits are very different, and very much alike. We both love our countries with a passion, but have the revolutionary war standing between us. Theres a lot of one-upmanship between us. We both speak the same language, but have completely different slang. Why is it that a Scotsman or someone from Yorkshire speaks just fine...but an American from Texas or New York "ruins" the english language? An accent is an accent, no matter where your from.
I dont understand British sarcasm or teasing a lot of the time...but I dont expect you to get mine either. I hate put downs of any sort, even those in fun. There are enough of our people living in each others countries that we should get along better. I would prefer that we view each other as just people, maybe with a common ancestry and leave it at that.
I love England and wish I could move there. I wish I could take Steve to all the wonderful places here in the states Ive seen...the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, Niagara Falls. But then he says "well, Ive seen Victoria Falls, and yours cant possibly compare to that." and its the old mine's better than yours again. I think Englands beautiful, so whats wrong with thinking my own country's beautiful as well?
I didnt mean to get on a soapbox. I just wish we accepted each other better and with less animosity sometimes. But then, we're still fighting the civil war in parts of this country and seperating our own people with such foolishness...so what do I know? 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2373
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, May 20, 2006 - 11:51 am: |
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I enjoy doing a lot of traveling, and have had the pleasure of meeting many different types of people. I also keep contact with many of them through e-mail. I always keep in mind the cultural differences, but have been know to say "knock it off!" to especially English friends who say things in affection but can be taken either way. With my French friends I need to take care myself because I am by nature a tease and they can take offense. I think as long as you consider the source (of the person you are speaking with) almost anything can be said and understood. That stated, I also believe that a mid point view has to be taken to avoid misunderstandings. My friends know that if they are going to use the word cunt in front of me, I am going to call them on it.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Chrissiebrat
New member
Username: Chrissiebrat
Post Number: 20
Registered: 03-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, May 21, 2006 - 04:47 am: |
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Let me as a complete outsider (German) also have my say and please don't take offense that I join in this discussion.
I have worked with people from Britain and from the U.S. and I have English as well as American friends. And I always felt just the other way round as you, Gypsy - that the Americans are much more outgoing and somehow less complicated than the British.
But probably in any case it is wrong to say that one people is like that and another is like that. After all a people consists of lots of indivduals and each of them has got its own character. But, of course, education also "takes its toll" and perhaps that is one reason for similarities in a people's behavior.
Fanny, I, too, have French friends - also penpals via e-mail with whom I correspond in French and I always have problems because with them it takes a long time until you get to the "tu" instead of the much more formal "vous". As you know perhaps in German we also have the difference between "du" and "Sie", but with e-mail acquaintances it is normal to say "du". So every country has its specialities, I think. |
Mistydawn
New member
Username: Mistydawn
Post Number: 33
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, May 21, 2006 - 05:42 am: |
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Fanny, that made me laugh so much. I spent years not being able to say the 'C' word and there you are not likeing it but typing it. (it's one of my favourites now)
As to the cultural differences.
1. Yorkshire not spoiling the English language....
I am a yorkshire lass through and through and terribly proud to be so but have you ever heard us talk, not the most intellectual of dialects!.
2.As was said before yes there does seem o be a generalisation of a nations culture but that culture is made up of individuals who all have a different take on things. Know your audience. I speak very differently to the various people I know , culture rarely comes into it. (especially in the town I live) <== that was suposed to be sarcastic !!!
3. Sarcasm- A very British thing. I know a lot of other cultures don't understand sarcasm and see it as a put down in some ways. It's supposed to be the lowest form of wit but whoever said that had no sense of humour !!
As part of my submission I try to give Wayne things.
I gave him my body -No problem,
I gave him my honesty -Easy ,
I more or less do as I'm told.
I gave him my sarcasm- Outright faiure. It's the only thing I've taken back; It's such a part of me. It's not meant to hurt or put anyone one down but it's a fantastic form of defence and an easy way of getting your point across and oh so funny. . Like with most thing its all about the intention.
4. I believe your up-bringing has a lot to do with things and obviously your nationality has some bearing on this. We should all try to step out of the boxes we were given and not only accept others for their culture but embrace each others and move forward together. Utopia here I come.
MistyDawn
(Message edited by mistydawn on May 21, 2006) |
Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 985
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, May 21, 2006 - 09:31 am: |
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Being an American married to a British man and living in England, I can honestly tell you that it depends on the person.
When he lived in the states with me, most people loved his accent and neither of us can remember anyone making any bad remarks about the British.
However....
After moving back to England...and no thanks to Bush...Americans are getting a very bad rap. Most people are nice to me but I get lots...and I mean lots...of "read between the lines" insults. On British television, Americans are insulted straight out constantly. They seem to take pleasure in making Americans look like boisterous loud mouth idiots. You will hear people say "bloody Americans" everywhere.
And all in all...I love England. It's a beautiful country. And I love living here. Might sound like a conflict of interest, but I do love living here. The landscape here is so diverse and there is so much history. I want to soak it all in. What friends I have made are good people.
Afterall...England gave me my hubby. How can I fault that??
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1716
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, May 21, 2006 - 03:26 pm: |
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Move over Misty, I'd like to join you in Utopia. 
True Shylah, they do laugh at us a lot...just blame Bush! I love it there too, and can never get enough of the countryside, history, architecture, customs...did I mention I love it there? 
But I love it here too. This is my home and Ive been to almost all 50 states, and a goodly portion of Canada (I like Canada a lot too). Maybe I just love traveling. 
If you think British sarcasm is bad...try talking to an Aussie! 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 991
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, May 22, 2006 - 06:37 am: |
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You're right Wolfie. The countryside, history, architecture...all of it.
I've been to Stonehenge twice now and my Native American spirit comes out in me. I get SO many vibes! It is amazing.
And the churches!! OMG...the best ones are in the smallest villages. I've started a photo album of churches. I take pics of them everywhere I go.
And in Scotland...the glens...so much beauty!
Have you ever seen a rainbow here? They seem so much more vivid. You can see all the colors so clearly.
You guys have GOT to come here just once.
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 992
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, May 22, 2006 - 06:39 am: |
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Ummm...are we getting off topic here?
If so....
I'm sowwy 
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Buenaventura
New member
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 20
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Monday, May 22, 2006 - 08:26 am: |
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Hi I,ve lived in both and a couple of dozen more.I love the brittish sarcasm and when there participate as much as I can.Guatemalan humor is similarly sarcastic and I love it but when in Venezuela as I am now the humor is more American like and they just don,t get it so I stop and adapt.Understanding other cultures in todays world is important and we probably shouldn,t take other people making fun of us seriously.You can make fun too.Tit for tat as the Brits say. |
Gypsygirl
Spanko
Username: Gypsygirl
Post Number: 277
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Monday, May 22, 2006 - 08:31 am: |
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Understandable, all of us get emotional and worked up about our own country and you're half an adopted Brit, so that's normal too.
I think we all have stereotypes of people from other countries. The British wear Bowler hats and carry umbrellas everwhere, either that or they are lager louts. The French wear berets and ride about on bikes with onions dangling all over the place. The 'Yanks' (and I'd like to know where that word came from) all wear stetson hats and boast that anything anyone else has, you have it bigger and better, etc, etc...
That side of it doesn't bother me because I'm too stuborn to be led into believing anything so general, but the fact that we share the same langauge and use it so differently is what I find amazing.
I don't have a lot of knowledge of the other nations that have English as their main language, Australia, New Zealand, etc, but I wonder if they also note a difference.
I foresee spankings........LOTS of spankings
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1718
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, May 22, 2006 - 01:08 pm: |
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quote:The 'Yanks' (and I'd like to know where that word came from) all wear stetson hats and boast that anything anyone else has, you have it bigger and better, etc, etc...
Ummmm, Gypsy those are Texans...not Yanks. The only true Yankee is a New Englander, although I think the word is of spanish or chinese derivative. 
And the folks from "down under" dont really speak english...trust me! 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Mistydawn
New member
Username: Mistydawn
Post Number: 43
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Monday, May 22, 2006 - 01:18 pm: |
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Yeah but 'YANKS' is the name that every-one in the UK associates with all Americans and all Americans do wear stetsons dont they!!
--------------------------------------------
MistyDawn
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Learning to love and loving to learn
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Cheekychipmunk
New member
Username: Cheekychipmunk
Post Number: 41
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Monday, May 22, 2006 - 02:31 pm: |
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Well here is my two cents worth.
I never met anyone who wasn't American until I worked at our local KFC. One of my managers was Mexican. She was the sweetest person you could ask for. She was married to a African American and often said they had trouble over different beliefs and thier families didn't like each other.Later I met a German who was our local radiologist, ( my husband's 2nd grandfather was German)he was very nice and I loved his accent. He was also very flirty like a Brit that I know.
Later I met another German woman at a fleamarket, she was surprised that I knew what her accent was, and whenever we went to the fleamarket she and I would chat for an hour. In our family business we meet people from all over the USA. Some northerners, like Wolfie, which talks funnier than us.
Some Texans which sound strange also. I know my southern accent sounds funny to them also. I was told so by Wolfie and Steve when we first talked.  They made no bones about me sounding funny. I think we should all try to learn more about the others around us before we judge them. I love to learn from others thier type of background and if they aren't from the US I love to learn about their ways of life.
My dad done basic training over in France and most of what he could remember from over there was they hated americans and made no bones about it. But when I hear an accent I am interested in finding out where that person orginated from and how life is there.
While working at our local Dollar General store one of our customers was a German lady. Her son was born her in America and doesn't sound German at all, but she and her husband and oldest son speak German and I love to hear them talk.
Years ago we purchased a box of junk at the fleamarket and while digging through it at home, we found postcards from Germany in the 1933. I am interested in what is on them, but so far no one has been able to tell me. The one woman I asked said they were written in old German and she couldn't read the scribbled writing.
Sorry if I got off point there.
"Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence."
Sloan Wilson
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Gypsygirl
Spanko
Username: Gypsygirl
Post Number: 279
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Monday, May 22, 2006 - 03:10 pm: |
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The word Yanks isn't a recent thing either. In the second world war in England there were a lot of USA Military posts and the fact that the Americans had stockings and chocolate and money to spend was a sore point to many in Britain who had been suffering rationing for several years (but it didn't stop them accepting the gifts I think). I remember reading in a history class that the general saying/complaint was 'Yanks: Over Paid, Over Sexed, Over Here.'
I think it was the norm to think Yank = American and vice versa and I shouldn't have thought that anybody would have realised that it meant someone from one particular area.
I foresee spankings........LOTS of spankings
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Naughtylele
New member
Username: Naughtylele
Post Number: 3
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Monday, May 22, 2006 - 06:09 pm: |
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I'm also in the middle of this dilemma because my dad's American and my mum's British. I was born in America, but grew up in both countries. I'm both and neither, so to speak. There are some British jokes or phrases that I just don't "get" and ditto for America. Who knew that when someone says "My dogs are hurting" that they meant their FEET? Only learnt (learned) that a couple years ago!
Getting back to the original question, I'd say that a significant part of the misunderstanding is simply because the conversation is online instead of in person, where it would be easier for someone to understand your sarcasm. |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1721
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, May 22, 2006 - 08:24 pm: |
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So Misty, does that mean everyone in the UK is a Brit?
Cheeky...there are still days when I cant understand a word y'all says!
Gypsy, we in New England have always been known as Yankees. During the war between the states we were split into southern Rebel and northern Yank, but I would like to know how far back the British began using using the term for all Americans.
I do know someone who would love it if I were to become over-sexed though....
Ele, how do you think I felt the first time I heard "bangers and mash"? 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Naughtylele
New member
Username: Naughtylele
Post Number: 6
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Monday, May 22, 2006 - 09:23 pm: |
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Wolfie,
Just Lele is fine  And what, like you've never had "Toad in a hole?"
I really believe that the best (but by no means only) way of understanding other cultures is to visit them, really immerse yourself in the country.
Does this mean that the next time I travel, I can just tell my boss that I'm promoting "cultural awareness?" |
Gypsygirl
Spanko
Username: Gypsygirl
Post Number: 280
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 02:08 am: |
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Wolfie, you need to try a bit of 'bubble & squeak' as well.
Wolfie wrote: "So Misty, does that mean everyone in the UK is a Brit?"
We have 3 ways of describing where we're from, either England/Scotland/Wales, then Great Britain, then United Kingdom. British is the general term though because if you refer only to England you'll have the Scottish & Welsh up in arms.
Lele wrote: Who knew that when someone says "My dogs are hurting" that they meant their FEET? Only learnt (learned) that a couple years ago!
In actual fact FEET are described as PLATES, that's the general rule anyway, although people do invent new phrases along the way. And it isn't really a way of speech that is used throughout all of Britian, it's the Cockney Rhyming Slang that originally was used by people in a certain part of London only, although it's spread beyond that a bit now.
Lele wrote: Getting back to the original question, I'd say that a significant part of the misunderstanding is simply because the conversation is online instead of in person, where it would be easier for someone to understand your sarcasm.
I think you have a point although that's not to say that the problem doesn't exist in r/l as well. I think with on-line communication, it's a joint problem of different modes of speech and also the fact that the written word can come across as harsher than the spoken because the voice inflection is missing as is the facial expression. Hence the invention of LOL etc which people seem to use to make sure the 'meaning' of the comment is got across or as a response to something funny.
If anyone looks back through any of my mails, you'll see that I rarely use LOL, mainly because I try very hard to make sure that I express myself clearly enough, (although I recognise that my comments are very 'dry') well, in a general chat-thing like this, they're easily permissible and understandable, but the other site I'm on is to do with writing, so I think it's particulary lazy way of expressing yourself. If you're trying to improve your writing skills, I believe you shouldn't rely on LOL etc to get your point across, but maybe that's just me.
Some interesting points of view on this topic.
I foresee spankings........LOTS of spankings
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Buenaventura
New member
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 23
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 08:39 am: |
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Yankee doodle dandy is from the revolutionary war. A song making fun of the colonials. |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1725
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 10:10 am: |
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I like that song! *pout*
I'm sorry Lele, I obviously should have put the reading glasses on. No, I havent tried "toad in the hole" or "bubble and squeak"...yet. 
I prefer to use smilies to end my sentences with Gypsy...too many times Ive seen people read my words and take them the wrong way. I have a dry sense of humor, and sometimes it can fall flat. The smilies allow me to reassure folks that Im only kidding them, and certainly dont mean to offend. 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Naughtylele
New member
Username: Naughtylele
Post Number: 8
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 10:43 am: |
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Wolfie,
Nope, no offense taken at all!
Gypsy,
I guess I don't really notice the misunderstandings, because I already know that's just the way my mum is. On a couple occasions, I have had people tell me that she comes across cold or too formal, but they don't realize that it's completely unintentional. |
Cheekychipmunk
New member
Username: Cheekychipmunk
Post Number: 48
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 11:55 am: |
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Wolfie,
Just wait til you move south.
There'll be all kinds of slang.
I like the way us Alabamians talk, Thank you very much.
We'll have to make sure you get real southern hospatality when you come down.
I have cousins in Georgia that has a worse accent than me.
"Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence."
Sloan Wilson
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Gypsygirl
Spanko
Username: Gypsygirl
Post Number: 283
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 12:35 pm: |
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Wolfie. I quite like smilies, I think because there's such a large variety of them available, that it's hard not to use them.
I foresee spankings........LOTS of spankings
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Weasel
Spanko
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 126
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, July 23, 2006 - 09:09 am: |
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I'm the American daughter of a Canadian daughter of a British daughter so I grew up learning terminology from both cultures. My mom was also my mum, I went to the bathroom or the lou or the privvy, I lived in a howse, or a "hoos" and the cat chased a mowse or a moos - depending on who you spoke to in my home. "Eh", was given equal time with "huh". It gave me a step up on understanding international language differences although as you will see, there was some confusion as well.
There was one occasion in my childhood that makes very obvious the difference in communication between not only nationalities, but generations. I had a friend over (we were all of 7 or 8 yrs old) and in play, I called him a "booger" because he was being a little shit. Well here in the states, at that age, we were referring to the contents of our snotty little nasal cavities, and this is a common thing for kids to call one another at that time "you little booger" is akin to saying "you little snot". Well, my mother came roaring out of the house screaming bloody blue murder at me that if she ever heard me say that again she would blah blah blah my blah blah blah - you know how moms are when they are on a rant. My mother was usually rather reserved and quiet, and her outburst was remarkable enough that it stuck with me throughout my remaining childhood! It wasn't until I was in my late teens/early twenties that I learned of the British term "bugger", and even later in life when it dawned on me, that was what my mother thought I said so very long ago, and that was why she flipped out so very totally. She thought I called my little friend a BUGGER not a BOOGER. Big difference there.
Well, that little story having been said, lets fast forward to the future. It's difficult to hear inflection in typing messages to others. Smileys are nice to have in that respect, they give a facial expression to what we've typed, to give it a relative point of reference. The internet has globalized us, so while we hammer merrily away in our own national terminology sometimes we forget that in other parts of the world other words mean other things.
Since 1999, I've played a car racing game over the internet that hooks me up with guys from all over the world. It's been great because we really do help each other to listen in new ways. Here, we say "Good for you" and an Aussie mate might say "Good on you". He means the same thing. Rather than disparage each others differences, we delight in finding similarities and we share our cultures. It's much like we do here in spanking den, we share our stories, so that we become more comfortable not only with our shared kink, but also with our shared global community. We're not just here to place our own game on the table and everyone do it our way. We're here to share what we know, and learn about what we don't know.
It's implementing this kind of diplomacy that we, on the level of individuals can help to change the mindsets of our peers around the globe. Our politicians may speak for our nations, but they do not speak for each individual.
Americans all wear big hats and say "hey y'all" and Englishmen all wear round black hats and say "cheerio pip pip", and Frenchmen all wear beret's and say "ooh-la-la" and American Indians all wear big eagle feather head-dresses and say "Me Heap Big Chief". NOT!
Well, each of us has the opportunity to lead our global friends into a greater sense of understanding of our cultures which leads us all to a better world.
Yankee - termed in 1765 or so by a Dutchman, originally the word was "Jenke" and evolved into Yankee to describe the colonists. The last time someone called me a Yank I smiled sweetly and replied "I'd rather be a Yank than a JERK like you!"
For anyone who doesn't know American slang, a jerk is someone who is being purposely contrary.
Great topic, this one. I love languages and the meanings of things so please accept my apologies for carrying on so long, and for dragging a 2 month old post back up to the top!
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
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Blistering_blonde
Spanko
Username: Blistering_blonde
Post Number: 340
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, July 23, 2006 - 10:45 am: |
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LOL Weasel I loved your Booger story LOL !!
and it was great reading all the differences you showed .
He asked what I needed , timidly gave it at first, now he just knows.
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Batfinch
New member
Username: Batfinch
Post Number: 8
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Monday, July 31, 2006 - 01:10 pm: |
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We were visiting Topeka in Kansas with American friends.
The waitress realising we were not American came over to the table.
O you do speak good English, she said
Our American friend replied well they are English
O I thought they were Australians.
What on earth language did she think Australians spoke |
Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 982
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 01, 2006 - 07:48 am: |
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Its amazing isn't it?? How ignorant some people can be?? |
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Everyday Life