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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2488
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 13, 2006 - 03:04 pm: | 
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Does this sound a bit familiar???
When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter.
The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no
doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there were one, but there isn't - so you carefully but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume "The Stance."
In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance."
To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more.
You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It is still smaller than your thumbnail.
Someone pushes open your stall door because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet.
"Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course.
You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try.
You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain, her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get."
By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a firehose that somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too. At that point, you give up.
You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women, still waiting.
You are no longer able to smile politely to them.
A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. ( Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."
As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"
This finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked question about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 720
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 13, 2006 - 03:15 pm: |
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Oh I hate public bathrooms!!
That was FUNNY!! |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 940
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 13, 2006 - 03:24 pm: |
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Very funny and also very true!
Dan makes fun of me for the arsenal I carry around when we're traveling. I have travel sized toilet paper, toilet seat covers, and antibacterial gel, lotion, and wipes. I've seen some scary restrooms while traveling.  |
Pinkcheeks
Advanced Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 531
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 13, 2006 - 03:41 pm: |
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 so funny...but oh so true!
"Thought I WAS being a good girl...really I did!"
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Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 1127
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 13, 2006 - 04:55 pm: |
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And don't you just HATE those toilet roll dispensers.
Pull...rip...pull...rip...pull...rip and if you're lucky...you get a piece bigger than a postit note!
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Beachley
Spanko
Username: Beachley
Post Number: 389
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 13, 2006 - 08:48 pm: |
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Oh so much of that has happened to me. That was so funny I had to read it to Mr. B who also got a nice chuckle out of it.
The Spice of Life is having my OWN WAY!! A spanking would be nice.
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 727
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 14, 2006 - 09:02 am: |
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YESTERDAY at work this happened. The pull and tear at the toliet paper...only to get a small square.....I'm taking my own paper from now on!! |
Reader_girl
Spanko
Username: Reader_girl
Post Number: 132
Registered: 07-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 14, 2006 - 09:49 am: |
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Has anyone else ever had to peel the toilet paper roll core (cardboard) off the dispenser in order to have something - anything - to blot with to avoid dripping all over their panties?
Honestly, nothing else about it really bothers me. I think it's the germ cesspool I work in (public schools).
Reader Girl
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 729
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 14, 2006 - 10:38 am: |
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ohh yes...isn't that lovely Reader girl?? |
Bittersweetk
New member
Username: Bittersweetk
Post Number: 4
Registered: 07-2006
| | Posted on Monday, July 03, 2006 - 01:26 pm: |
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Hahahaha i live that kinda xperience everyday at work!!!! |
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Everyday Life