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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 1153
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 12, 2006 - 09:38 am: | 
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Telemarketers suck big time. Here are some proven ways to rid your life of these assclowns for good...
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . "
3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. (This works great if you are male) Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"
5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"
8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"
9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
10. If the Telemarketer is selling raffle tickets, tell him or her that you work for the same company, and that employees cannot participate.
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "OH MY GOD!" and then hang up.
12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask if he/she will give you their home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" and proceed to hang up.
13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation. For added effect, clanging of cutlery and dishes is recommended.
15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.
16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."
18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder... louder!
20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down. |
Pinkcheeks
Advanced Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 826
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 12, 2006 - 09:54 am: |
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Oh  !!!!! These are TOO funny!! I had to copy them so I can pass them out to friends!! Hope you don't mind.
"Do I have to be good ALL the time?"
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 1156
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 12, 2006 - 10:04 am: |
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Don't mind at all. I'm glad you like them. I think I may even try a few of these. |
Atomicpuppy
Spanko
Username: Atomicpuppy
Post Number: 118
Registered: 08-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 12, 2006 - 04:15 pm: |
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Like these Tammy.Reminds me of an article written the in one of the weekend papers a few weeks ago about getting rid of these annoying phone calls.I've been getting a lot lately.
My wife just says the No one over and over and she gets louder each time.It's quite funny listening in.
I,on the other hand,ask them a question for everyone they ask me.
Last week I ended up giving the caller some advice about computer parts and laptops.Must have been on the phone about 25 mins.Funny they haven't called back since....lol |
Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 1325
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 12, 2006 - 04:15 pm: |
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I've done #6 and might try #17
I've also acted like I don't hear anyone on the other end and keep saying "Hello????"
as Tammy loves to say....I'm such a snotball
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2672
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 12, 2006 - 06:03 pm: |
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But Shylah don't change a thing. We love you just the way you are.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 1163
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 12, 2006 - 08:17 pm: |
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 Fanny you and Shylah make me smile!
Yes Shylah you are a snotball!! |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2678
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 12, 2006 - 11:02 pm: |
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It's a tough job, Tammy.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 1169
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 13, 2006 - 07:24 am: |
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Atomicpuppy
Spanko
Username: Atomicpuppy
Post Number: 121
Registered: 08-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 13, 2006 - 12:02 pm: |
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Ok why are you a snotball,Shylah? and who gave you that nickname? |
Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 1174
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 13, 2006 - 02:00 pm: |
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I gave her that nickname! Because she is one!! |
Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 1329
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 13, 2006 - 04:25 pm: |
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Tammy only calls me that cos she loves me.
I also get called brat alot and I keep telling them I am not a brat...I am imaginative.
Nobody believes me.
I can't imagine why.
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 1178
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 13, 2006 - 05:28 pm: |
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I can't imagine why either.....  |
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Everyday Life