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Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 1603
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, January 06, 2007 - 07:42 pm: | 
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The following questions and answers were collected from last year's GCSE
exams, and are some of the answers given by students. These are genuine
responses!! (16 year olds!)
Geography
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutant
like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to
flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature
abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Sociology
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Biology
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g. abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax the
abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the
heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O
and U.
Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas.
English
Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. {do dishes}
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Technology
Q : What is a turbine?
A : Something an Arab or Sheikh wears on his head.
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3035
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, January 06, 2007 - 10:10 pm: |
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I love these. I think it means at the very least that the younger people of today do have a great sense of tumor.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 1630
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, January 07, 2007 - 03:27 pm: |
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I just said a huge prayer of thanks that my children are smart!!! |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3039
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, January 07, 2007 - 05:09 pm: |
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I am not at all doubting the intelligence of your children Tammy, look at the wonderful, brillant woman who is their mother. But....look at these answers, surely you can see that it took quite a bit of wit to come up with some of these answers. I am someone who really enjoys plays on words and some of these are really good.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Ma_vie_en_rose
Spanko
Username: Ma_vie_en_rose
Post Number: 325
Registered: 01-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 01:40 am: |
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Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
...really I enjoy that answer quite a bit. Sharp. |
Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 1638
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 12:55 pm: |
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Your right Fanny some of the kids answered with sheer gifted wit!!  |
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