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Weasel
Spanko
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 191
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, February 22, 2007 - 11:40 am: | 
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we're just different. I'm uncomfortable with some of the lifestyle choices he makes that impact our future - working under the table, drinking beer while driving (my vehicle), not paying taxes, not investing in our future, and continuing to work for someone who blows off payday (once a month payday) for 2 months at a time while our bills pile up.
my heart is full of love for him, the past 2 years have been his second chance but I see how I'm enabling him to be how he is. I told him last night we need to seperate. No yelling, screaming or carrying on, just that it's ok to be who he is and do as he likes but the impact on me is such that I'm unhappy enough to ask him to leave.
We broke up after 16 years ten years ago, and after he hit bottom and asked for help, we got back together after 8 years. Now 2 years later, while the drugs are gone, there isn't any indication of him wanting to lead anything more than this barely getting by life.
So I'm a sad weasel right now and just had to say it to somebody somewhere. I'm in no position to support myself but since his boss doesn't pay him on time that really doesn't mean much since my teensy paycheck has been whats been getting us by anyhow.
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
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Mainframe
New member
Username: Mainframe
Post Number: 16
Registered: 01-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, February 22, 2007 - 01:10 pm: |
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It sounds very sad, but sometimes such things are for the best, though not easy to get through.
Hang in there. Your warmth and humor can get you through.
You might also look to upgrade your skills by attending a technical college. Medical skills currently pay best for amount of time invested: many medical skills require only 1 semester, and can result in 40k + a year. Talk to all the hospitals' personel offices in your area to see what jobs are readily available before taking any class though.
One further note, Weasel: Libraries carry a book detailing all scholarships and grants carried nationwide, called I think, U.S. Scholarship and Grants. It lists all private scholorships, usually from wills, and is not generally known or talked about. You may have to ask 2 or 3 librarians to get one to admit having it though, though usually any one. You xerox or write the information down that applies to you. I sincerely hope this helps, and that things will soon look up for you.
Joe
It's never failed to amaze me that such sweet, intelligent adults, could have such naughty bottoms.
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Pixiekitten
New member
Username: Pixiekitten
Post Number: 17
Registered: 02-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, February 22, 2007 - 02:00 pm: |
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I'm so sorry you're going through this. I am glad you are doing what's right for yourself and your overall well-being. Look for silver linings, however slight they may be. Good Luck in all. 
"Naughty Pixies Always Get Caught."
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Cheekychipmunk
Spanko
Username: Cheekychipmunk
Post Number: 213
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, February 22, 2007 - 02:54 pm: |
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Weasel,
Sorry to hear things are going so tough for you right now. But I think you are doing right by doing what is best for you.
Like Mainframe said medical skills are top paying and check with a local community college. From the sound of your finances you should be able to get a pell grant at least.
You can get the grant papers at any college.
I'll send up a prayer for you, keep your chin up and as Pixie said look for the silver linings.
"Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence."
Sloan Wilson
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Weasel
Spanko
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 192
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, February 22, 2007 - 04:01 pm: |
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thanks guys! I appreciate the suggestions and support. I'm still paying off student loans so I'm not eligible for anything in that department. Already tried going there. However, I just recently did start this teensy paycheck job and it is leading into more hours as time goes by. I'll be going into a training program soon to expand my job skills, so actually where I am employment-wise is exciting and positive! I love my job at a national pet supply store, and am eager to become one of their trainers after the training program. I'm eligible for benefits too. I love my job, but as new (wo)man on the totem pole, I'm just not full time yet.
It's scary to think about being on my own again is the main thing, I know beyond doubt I'm doing the right thing. It just hurts that for as much as I love him and as much as I know he loves me, he doesn't love himself enough to step out of his own comfort zone to create a better life for himself so he can share in creating a better life for both of us.
Thank you for your kind moral support everyone.
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
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Buenaventura
Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 479
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, February 22, 2007 - 10:21 pm: |
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Sorry weasel sometimes things go that way.Hope it works out for you.Count on us for support. |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 1271
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, February 23, 2007 - 01:11 am: |
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Weasel, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. Hang in there!
From the way it sounds, you're doing what's best and I'm glad you have the confidence and strength to make that step. It's definitely not easy so remember you can always come here for support and understanding.
Good luck! |
Rusty
New member
Username: Rusty
Post Number: 48
Registered: 01-2007
| | Posted on Friday, February 23, 2007 - 06:06 am: |
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weasel, life can be a $%#ch at times. Sounds like you have made a decision in the right direction. thoughts with you |
Weasel
Spanko
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 194
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Friday, February 23, 2007 - 11:11 am: |
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It's so nice to have a place to share what's in my heart. Thanks everyone, for your thoughts & prayers. I appreciate all of you very much!
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
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Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 1659
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, February 24, 2007 - 05:23 pm: |
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Weasel, BLESS you for having the courage to do what needed to be done. You have to do what is best for you. You can not live someone elses life for them. If he was in the 12 step program, you can't take his steps for him. You CAN however take your own. You have taken the first step, now carry on and know we are all here for you if you need us.
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Butterfly84
Spanko
Username: Butterfly84
Post Number: 115
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, February 25, 2007 - 09:06 pm: |
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Weasel, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I can't imagine how hard it is for you, but it definitely sounds like you're making the right decision and doing what's best for everyone involved. Best of luck hon!
~*butterfly*~
Nobody suspects the butterfly...
"Draw me gently to me knees, and I am lost for words, so lost in love and I am, sweetly broken, wholly surrendered"
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Weasel
Spanko
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 196
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 27, 2007 - 11:38 am: |
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He's ignoring the issue... he won't talk about breaking up, or changing jobs, or fixing whats wrong.
He is "supposed" to get paid on march 10. I guess I'll just wait til then to bring it up again since until he gets paid he has no money to go stay elsewhere. His boss was supposed to sell something this weekend (a tow truck - the guy is driving a brand new pickup and has about 25 different cars he could sell)and give him some money but of course that never materialized.
The other night I told him I felt like a crackhead having to go cash in the change jar at a local supermarket's coinstar machine. That made him mad that I would say that, he said "well excuse me for making you feel like a crackhead". The next night I apologized for the remark, and said again - "Look, this just isn't working. Your job has no future and it makes me feel very insecure. These irregular paydays HURT us financially! If you were hurt on the job you would have no workmans compensation. If your boss got hurt, you wouldn't even be able to collect unemployment. You're not paying into your social security so you are not protecting your (our) future. I won't say anything else and I'll hang in there as long as I can but this is breaking our relationship up."
I added that I know how scary it is to go find a new job - I just did that.
I just wish the tenth of next month would hurry up so we can finish this up.
I really appreciate all your support, my spanko family. Thanks for giving me a little space to vent.
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
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Cheekychipmunk
Spanko
Username: Cheekychipmunk
Post Number: 217
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 27, 2007 - 02:37 pm: |
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Weasel,
I'm keeping you in my prayers. At this time my family has an in-law that is causing damage to her family also.
It makes me very irritated when people refuse to open thier eyes and see that they aren't just hurting themselves.
It is nice to have a place to come and vent isn't it?
We are here for you.
"Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence."
Sloan Wilson
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Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 1669
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, February 27, 2007 - 05:47 pm: |
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Vent away sweetie!
Have at it.
Sometimes it just feels better being able to put your fustrations into words.
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Blushingbride
Junior Spanko
Username: Blushingbride
Post Number: 65
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, March 03, 2007 - 05:58 pm: |
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I hadn't wandered over to this section, but now that I've finally caught up with this, I am so sorry that you are going through this. But it does sound like you are making the right decision for your life and yor future, no matter how hard it is to do. Congrats on your job that you seem really excited about, and that has a future for you to grow in. Good luck with this. |
Weasel
Spanko
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 208
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, March 04, 2007 - 10:52 am: |
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update: he admitted last night that he is looking for someplace to move to. His boss gave him $50.00 to 'help him out'. Whatta guy.
Hopefully this will open the door for me to meet some nice man who is into the spanko thing.
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 1286
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, March 04, 2007 - 01:33 pm: |
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Weasel, I'm glad you're looking to the future for yourself. I'm hoping you find everything your heart desires. I know it's not easy, but it'll be worth it. |
Weasel
Spanko
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 215
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 14, 2007 - 01:26 am: |
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Well, the hard parts over. He moved out while I was at work yesterday. Feels like a ton of bricks off my shoulders. We kept it amiable, he even took me out to dinner Sunday night.
I'm a free agent once again!
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 1332
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 14, 2007 - 01:47 am: |
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I'm glad things are progressing and working out for you. Hang in there and keep looking toward the future! |
Weasel
Spanko
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 222
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Monday, March 19, 2007 - 12:22 pm: |
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I would have played fair except he left without saying a word, was simply gone when I came home. Glad he's gone but that was kind of sneaky. It's been a week since he left, and he has not contacted me about making payments to me on the pickup truck he's driving, he failed to leave me his house keys, and he's been by while I'm not home to pick up some of his bosses scaffold equipment he left here.
I imagine he was not pleased to see the gate padlocked shut, as well as the padlock on the shop where I stored his bosses (very expensive) stuff. I figure if they need the equipment, his boss will loan him the money to pay for the truck.
Since he still has my house keys, I've stored my valuables in the shop as well.
Meybe he shoulda played straight with me.
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 1340
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, March 19, 2007 - 02:05 pm: |
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Weasel, please change your house locks. Locks can be broken or picked, but if he does that, it's breaking and entering (unless he's on the lease or title and that's a whole other problem). Also, it'd be safer for you to have locks on the house changed so he can't just walk in when he wants. If you're renting, explain the situation to your landlord and ask him or her to do it for you.
I don't think you're being sneaky, you've got to look out for yourself now that you've come to the end of the relationship and it's time to move on. Besides, he's not been fair to you so you have to do what you can to protect your interests. Making a clean break is going to be tough until you can resolve the last of these issues between you. Can you talk to him and explain that these things need to be resolved?
The big problem might be if his boss decides he really wants that equipment. His boss doesn't owe you money and the equipment belongs to him so he could come by himself and you'd have to give him what belongs to him. Not fair, but legally there's not much else you can do, and his boss will figure this out eventually.
Also, about the pickup, is it in your name or his, and do you owe anyone for it? If you are making payments to a creditor, contact the creditor and let them know you don't have possession of the vehicle. They can advise you of your options. You'll still be obligated to make your payments, but they might be able to assist you.
If it's yours outright, tell him to pay you or you'll take the truck back or take legal action. The less you two have that connects you, the better for you so you can move on. But remember to play by the rules, even if he won't.
Whatever you do, take care of you and your obligations first.
Good luck, hon! |
Weasel
Spanko
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 223
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 21, 2007 - 03:09 am: |
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Bethie thank you for your concern, I'm grateful for it! He came over this morning, and paid his first payment on the truck and gave me my house keys. He's angry and hurt that "I don't trust him". Well and good. What was I supposed to think when he left without a word, without leaving me the down payment, and without leaving me my keys. He thinks I'm nuts for being so paranoid.
I'm the bad guy of course, I expected that. He just doesn't get that he had a choice, and he chose his boss and his job and his never-a-care for tomorrow lifestyle over his home and his woman. It's easier to blame me than accept his responsiblity for the situation.
I'm not feeling guilty one bit, and I didn't present the "please come home don't leave me" attitude he was counting on.
I own the truck outright, and he swears he will pay it off within 4 months. He agreed that the bosses stuff is safer IN the shop than not, and he agreed to only come by when I'm home from now on. The neighbors are on alert that he does not belong here and they will call the sheriff if he shows up. Biggest problem with that, the cops can take up to 45 minutes to respond in this area.
With a rational human being, one could talk and explain that things need to be resolved. He's not that human being, unfortunately. He's always lived his life just outside the law, or the limit, or the edge. He doesn't get what most people "get" naturally. Being a responsible citizen and leaving his "bad boy" ways behind him is what he needed to work on when he was allowed to return home after 8 years, and this is where he stumbled and lost it. He does not want to bow to the necessities of society (his dose of 6 months of jail time gave him a scare THEN, but now is 2 years later), I gave him 2 years to choose to conform, and when I finally pushed for him to conform or leave, he chose to leave. I knew going into it that this could happen, so my bad for even having given him the opportunity. I felt justified in the doing, I reap the reward of my choice.
It will be ok. The worst part is over, and if it all boils down to $600.00 I can live without it.
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
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Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 1721
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 21, 2007 - 01:53 pm: |
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Weasel, you did what you felt needed to be done. You have to take care of yourself. Good for you girl!!
As for giving him the opportunity...you will have the self satisfaction of knowing that you did give him that and he chose not to accept. You will never have anything to feel guilty about.
I know what you mean about being the "bad guy". It was the same with me when I left my ex. Poor ole guy...I done him wrong. He's a "good ole boy" ya know. And I was the bitch that broke his heart.
Bullsh**!!
People will believe what they want. They didn't live with him. I did and I know that what I did was the right thing to do.
You did the right thing and never let anyone tell you any different. It's gona be tough till you find your feet but you are strong and have a good head on your shoulders. Have faith in yourself. Gossip be hanged, you have right on your side and you know it deep inside.
That is all that matters.`
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Weasel
Spanko
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 224
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 21, 2007 - 08:32 pm: |
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sounds like we sing the same tune there Shylah! Thanks for reaffirming my choice, it feels good to hear that someone else has been there, done that!
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
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Everyday Life