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Message |
    
Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 1711
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 14, 2007 - 07:38 pm: | 
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This is one of those "I have a friend who..."
NO it is NOT me!!! (thank the Powers that Be!)
I've been friends with a girl for a number of years who is in a live-in relationship with a guy. They enjoyed spanking fun but after a few years, they seem to have gotten "into a rut" and haven't enjoyed it for quite a long time now.
She is quite fustrated. Apparently, there is no sex either.
After talking to her tonight...I think fustrated really underestimates her feelings.
Now then....
We both have a mutual friend who would dearly love to spank her knowing her situation. He has offered and as much as she would like to have a nice long spanking...she just can't bring herself to let him do it. She is trying to find a way to let him know without hurting his feelings that she thinks he's a dork and to let him spank her would be out of the question.
I told her she doesn't need to tell him how she really feels about him but to just tell him thanks but no thanks. She thinks that wouldn't put him completely off and wants to find a way to let him know that she just plain is not interested in letting him spank her.
He is a bit on the desperate side cos his wife is vanilla. She doesn't want to be his relief and the thought of him seeing or touching her bare bottom is repulsive.
He's been dropping hints more and more and she's gotten to the point of avoiding him. They have a communication problem. I don't have the tact to tell her how to put him off.
I would just plain tell him no and to drop it but she isn't capable of it.
So...
What do I advise her?
Give me your ideas so I can not only give her a way to get him off the subject but to be able to have a conversation with her without it being "him this and him that" and just try to get her on one subject...namely...her partner not wanting to do anything.
Then I can happily shoot myself.
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 1778
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 14, 2007 - 08:18 pm: |
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Well....sounds like a mess.....
I would tell this man....thanks so much for offering....but she just can't let him spank her because of the relationship she is in. It would be fiar to the man she is with. When this other guy says..."no one will know", all your friend has to say is that she would know and it is like cheating and she just can't do it.
If that doesn't work....she needs to stand up stright and just tell him NO.
Hope this helps!! |
Buenaventura
Advanced Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 558
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 14, 2007 - 09:10 pm: |
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Yeah Tammy she,s faithful period! |
Naughtylele
New member
Username: Naughtylele
Post Number: 44
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 14, 2007 - 09:24 pm: |
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I think "Thanks, but no thanks" (or something along those lines) would cover it just fine. The cheating bit sounded really good too. You said that she doesn't think that will put him completely off...well, if he's the type of guy that won't back down when a woman says no, then he probably isn't the type of guy that she wants to be friends with anyway. I agree with you that she should be concentrating on working on getting out of the "rut" that she and her partner are in.
Good luck!
Does spanking help tame Bridezilla tantrums? You bet it does!
Lele
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Weasel
Spanko
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 216
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, March 15, 2007 - 12:47 pm: |
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meybe she should talk to her live-in about her frustration, her desires, and this guy who's bugging her. Tossing some mud in the rut might bring them both back up to surface level. I'm rather newly experienced at giving someone in my life a choice to grow or go. Meybe that's where she should think about going too, if her live-in doesn't want to experience life and it's myriad facets with her anymore.
As for the guy who wants to spank her, I know, lots of women can't just say NO, NEVER! but that's what the guy needs to hear from her. If she is ambiguous in her response to him, he will keep trying. He will hear "NO! I'd rather be spanked by an orangatan so stop asking!" better than "gee well thanks for offering but its ok I'd rather not". Another thing guys hate to hear is when you tell them they are like a brother to you. It's the death-sentence of come-ons.
(Message edited by weasel on March 15, 2007)
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
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Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 1716
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, March 15, 2007 - 08:31 pm: |
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Well....
We had another "talk" today...in other words...she whined and I listened.
I did tell her about the suggestions and she worked out how to word what she wanted to say to him. Now I get to wait for her to say it and then get the blow by blow description.
You gotta understand...she's a bit of a flake. She doesn't have many friends cos she is so ditzy not many people can tolerate her for very long. After she leaves when we've talked, I've found myself reaching for a glass of wine...or two...or three.
I would want someone to listen to me if I had a problem I needed to voice so I try to be a listener. After all...we have two ears and one mouth.
I think I have worked out why her partner isn't paying her attention...he's tuned her out. So...guess my next move is to talk to him and see what can be done to motivate him. Poor guy...I can understand why he tunes her out.
I've never told her about this forum and TRUST ME on this...you DON'T want me to!!!
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Weasel
Spanko
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 218
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Friday, March 16, 2007 - 01:45 am: |
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Good luck Shylah, it sounds like you need support just to listen to her! Gosh I hope she doesn't find this forum on her own and see this thread!
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
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Badgirl
Spanko
Username: Badgirl
Post Number: 165
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Friday, March 16, 2007 - 02:26 am: |
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Hmmm Shylah, your friend reminds me of one of my friends. I wish you the best of luck.
But I do feel the need to caution you. How much do you want to be in the middle of their relationship? Because the way you are going you will wind up smack dab in the middle. Which doesn't always turn out as well as one intends.
Since you are going to ignore my caution though (just like I would) I will offer some advice.
1 - Professional counselling. Suggest it and encourage it, for her alone to build confidence, etc, and for the couple, to improve communication skills.
2 - Prayer.
:D |
Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 1781
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Friday, March 16, 2007 - 03:16 pm: |
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Professional counselling might not be an option considering what the problem is.
Most people aren't willing to talk about spanking with a professiional. |
Badgirl
Spanko
Username: Badgirl
Post Number: 167
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Friday, March 16, 2007 - 04:06 pm: |
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Tammy, I meant counselling instead of spanking. 
She should be able to say no to unwanted approaches, be they spanking, sexual, or other...
They should be able to talk to each other, without him tuning her out.
These were the things I meant. And if they are not comfortable talking to someone, they could always try some self-help books from the bookstore.
Just one girl's opinion. |
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