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Zin
New member
Username: Zin
Post Number: 10
Registered: 03-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 04, 2007 - 01:09 am: | 
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My fiance seems to have trouble registering the point of spanking of late. When ever I'm angling for a spanking by purposely misbehaving, he says I enjoy getting punished too much, so he [i]won't[/i] spank me. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?
Oh well. Maybe I'll go to plan B. Leave a nice mudpie in his new convertible and then leave the hairbrush in plain view. |
Weasel
Spanko
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 234
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 04, 2007 - 10:19 am: |
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You might consider talking to him about "maintainence spankings" to keep you centered and focused. It doesn't sound like bratting him is working.
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 1816
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 04, 2007 - 10:29 am: |
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I'm not so sure the mudpie will work when other "bratting" isn't. My husband would never spank me for bratting him.
I have to agree with Weasel you need to talk to him. In this lifstyle communication is VERY important!!! |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3131
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 04, 2007 - 11:00 am: |
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Zin, contrary to what many bottoms think, most tops do not like or appreciate "brats". I mean either gender or any age. I have had the opportunity to chat with a lot of spankos (well not as many as say..Bethie) but every one of them agrees that bratting grows old very quickly.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Pinkcheeks
Supreme Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 1112
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 04, 2007 - 02:25 pm: |
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I have to agree with Tammy and Fanny - I never played the "brat" card - and I know that my husband would find it silly.
Communication is key....talk to him about how you feel 
"Do I have to be good ALL the time?"
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Blushingbride
Junior Spanko
Username: Blushingbride
Post Number: 76
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 04, 2007 - 05:07 pm: |
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I agree with the others, bratting rarely works, and even when it does, it's not a consistent thing. Talking is much better, and far more effective at geting what you want.
What can work, once you've discussed the situation, is use a cue of some sort that will let your fiance know that you are wanting a spanking without having to directly ask for it. That could be anything that works for you two as a couple, but would be a code to pass on your intentions, and desires. |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3137
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 04, 2007 - 10:46 pm: |
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Codes work. We use the word nine in a sentence and no one knows what we are talking about. It is a good way for him to let me know that I am skating on thin ice or for me to let him know I would like some attention. It is very easy to fit the word in everyday sentences.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Zin
New member
Username: Zin
Post Number: 12
Registered: 03-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 04, 2007 - 11:19 pm: |
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hmmm, interesting. I might have to try out that code word. I don't actually do anything to him. I'd probably be more grossed out than him about having a mudpie all over his car. It's so cute! oh...wait... I'm not supposed to call it that. I meant it's so butch and the epitome of sex on wheels!
The only "brat" thing I ever do to him is annoy him when he's trying to take a nap, and that is a very good way to get a swat or two. Or I'll threaten to "beat him up" which amuses him to no end because I almost always end up injuring myself instead.
I do have one ace in the hole, though. He knows that swatting me always gets me in the mood for other things.  |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3140
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, April 05, 2007 - 03:29 pm: |
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Zin, you are a brave "brat" I am a person who gets little sleep and if anyone would try to annoy me while I was trying to get some sleep, would never want to try that again. I could say the same thing to anyone who threatened to beat me up. As a formally abused person, I would fail to see the humor in that. As a side note, do you enjoy injurying yourself in the process? It doesn't seem worth it to me.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Zin
New member
Username: Zin
Post Number: 15
Registered: 03-2007
| | Posted on Saturday, April 07, 2007 - 10:20 pm: |
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I'm sorry. I realize posting on a forum makes it difficult to determine tone and such. I really didn't mean for this to be taken so seriously. First, keep in mind that I am a good six inches shorter than my fiance and a complete and utter weakling compared to him. That being said, even so, I would never intentionally try to hurt him or anyone else. I was also abused (as a child) and would never wish that sort of pain on anyone.
I would also never annoy him if he was the type of person who needed his sleep when he can get it. As it is, if I leave him alone for too long, I usually find him snoring. He's a bit of a sleepy-head, and can sleep anytime, anywhere. He's so adorable when he's asleep... but every once in a while, I can't help but wake him up for a surprise. 
As for threatening to beat him up, it's more teasing than anything else. It usually turns into a tickle fight, and I've hit my head on the night stand before when it gets too rowdy. Either that, or he'll put up his hand and tell me to punch it, and I'll end up killing my fist and he barely feels it.
I apologize if I made it seem like I'm turning violent in order to get what I want. I can assure you I'm really very harmless, and when I started this thread, I didn't expect it to be taken so seriously.  |
Buenaventura
Advanced Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 573
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, April 08, 2007 - 10:26 am: |
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Naaaaah no problemo Zin we all mostly understood. |
Badgirl
Spanko
Username: Badgirl
Post Number: 184
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, April 08, 2007 - 04:19 pm: |
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Like BV said, Zin, we get it. No worries...
I play with my bf the same way, where I'll put up my fists or something silly... We usually wind up one the bed, me pinned, him laughing hysterically. Me laughing too, for that matter. And yeah, I have considered padding the darned nighttables!
But I am with the others on the bratting ideas. When we first started experimenting, I used to brat him, and he would spank me a couple of times. Then he caught on, and realized that the more he encouraged me, the worse it was. I too heard the line about not spanking me because I enjoy it too much. LOL
Now, I usually hint at it and he gets it. Lines like, "well, you could make it up to me with a good spanking", and "do i need to be naughty" often work.
Whatever you do, though, Zin, TALK. It's uncomfortable at first but he needd to know you want/need this. And sometimes even why.
As for the codewords -- I love it. I think maybe I need to go have a talk of my own....
(On a small hijack, BV! It's good to see you back, hope your wrist is better. I was beginning to worry about you!) |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3147
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, April 08, 2007 - 07:48 pm: |
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Thanks for answering for me.
Zin is totally correct, with writing it is next to impossible to project tone, thought or intent. Therefore none of you have any idea whether the above sentence should be read sincerely or with sarcasm.
This is the exact reason why there have been misunderstandings. We need to keep in mind that not only do our many members read this site, but also thousands of random readers. People new to the lifestyle or those who want to be in the lifestyle may read what we write as being "THE" way to play the game and we need to chose what we say carefully.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Badgirl
Spanko
Username: Badgirl
Post Number: 190
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Monday, April 09, 2007 - 12:04 am: |
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Fanny, as usual, you are of course right. I even knew that when I wrote my little blurb above and meant to comment on the need for clarity and safety. I guess I got sidetracked before getting there. mea culpa.
But I would like to be clear about one more thing, which is that I was absolutely not answering FOR YOU. I assume your thanks was sarcastic, as I would be offended if I thought someone was speaking for me. I was not. I was however adding to an open discussion, with my point of view -- which is an entirely different matter. Next time I will not use the word "we" but rather "I".
Mostly, I was just letting Zin know that not everyone read her comment the same way (the way you did). I thought that was valid. As always, I will bow to the moderator's decision on this, as you have far more experience and resposibility in these matters than I do.
I hope we're okay on this. I like this site, and the people. I would hate for there to be any hard feelings or misunderstandings. |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3148
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, April 09, 2007 - 12:45 am: |
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Actually, Badgirl, my point was that here was no assumptions to be safely made. I made the comment without any emotion or intent at all.
It is not my job as a moerator to read comments in any way other than to make sure other members do not take offense.
Other than that, this has become off topic and I am quite willling to listen to all you have to say via PM.
(Message edited by fanny on April 09, 2007)
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Buenaventura
Advanced Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 575
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Monday, April 09, 2007 - 06:35 am: |
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Thanks Badgirl it was my shoulder and they seem to have done a pretty good job.Have given a couple of real good spankings inthe last weekit was a skin cancer that got to the bone( yeah I know I,m stupid for letting it go)but I,m back to normal thanks! Sorry for the hi-jack. |
Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 1846
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, April 09, 2007 - 10:20 am: |
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tsk tsk tsk
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Badgirl
Spanko
Username: Badgirl
Post Number: 193
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Monday, April 09, 2007 - 11:51 am: |
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BV! You have to take you health more seriously. You deserve a good spanking... one that wouldn't let you sit for days! |
Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 1847
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, April 09, 2007 - 01:03 pm: |
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okay you two that enough hijacking for today!!
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Badgirl
Spanko
Username: Badgirl
Post Number: 194
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Monday, April 09, 2007 - 04:51 pm: |
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Yes ma'am.
So Zin, do you have any updates? How are things going? |
Zin
New member
Username: Zin
Post Number: 17
Registered: 03-2007
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 10, 2007 - 01:45 am: |
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ah, so far so good. His parents were out of town so we took advantage of the hot tub, then the shower, then his bedroom, and I got a few fun/short spankings thrown in there. It was actually pretty funny. I had a plastic shopping bag in my hand as I left the house full of condums, a ruler, a ping-pong paddle, and a bathing suit (which I didn't even use, opting for my birthday suit instead...it was dark, I swear!) and my dad saw me leaving and, upon seeing my bag, asked if I was bringing my fiance leftover souvlaki (shiskebab). My reply? "uh... yeah." 
people laugh at us because we're both 24 and act like a couple of kids. I'm shy about asking for what I want. I can barely type things out without blushing. That's why I've had such trouble asking for it and opt instead to seek attention in other ways.
I guess what I want is for him to spank me without being told. I mean, fine. The man's not a mind reader. But I think by now he should figure that when we're um... being intimate, there is one sure fire way to get me going. At this point, sometimes he does, and sometimes he doesn't. Weekend before last, for example, I kept nagging him to stop messing with his car and to come over. (This was not intentional bratting, for the record. He had spent the whole morning on his stupid car.) Finally, he came over, grabbed me, and gave me a spanking (just with his hand) that I'll not soon forget.
On the other hand, I have a habit of going out in freezing weather in short sleeves and no coat. I'm just a lazy bum. I figure I'm only gonna be outside for a few minutes as I travel from building to car and vice versa. Why bother? This irritates him to no end. He always complains that I'll catch pneumonia and he doesn't know what he has to do to make sure I wear my damn coat.  |
Buenaventura
Advanced Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 578
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 10, 2007 - 07:22 am: |
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Zin have you thought about showing him this thread? |
Blushingbride
Junior Spanko
Username: Blushingbride
Post Number: 80
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 10, 2007 - 08:43 pm: |
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Glad to hear things are wworking better for you. I totally understand what you mean about wanting him to spank you without having to ask for it. I feel the same way a lot of the time. That's why we have a couple code things that I can use to drop anvil sized hints without feeling like I'm coming right out and asking for it. I know that it really is the same thing, but it doesn't feel the same. Also I agree with BV - show him the thread - it's a good way to start the conversation. Good luck and happy spankings! |
Valleygal
New member
Username: Valleygal
Post Number: 10
Registered: 09-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, September 06, 2007 - 01:07 am: |
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um have you ever thought of just throwing yourself over his lap and sticking your bottom up in the air??? and wiggling it maybe????
what a long strange trip it's been
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