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Pixiekitten
New member
Username: Pixiekitten
Post Number: 25
Registered: 02-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 13, 2007 - 02:50 pm: | 
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Hello A/all. Sorry that I haven't posted for a while. Things have been busy on the home front. I am here because this is the only place I know where I can bring up and vent about a subject such as this. You A/all are always very supportive and honest, even when people may not want to hear the answers.
Here's the scenario W/we are dealing with right now. My Husband and I have been happily married for three years, practicing DD together for four. He has been working long hours lately and I've been very busy at home with my duties, kids etc. I haven't had a spanking in a long while (long for us), 3-5 months.
Recently I broke a very strict rule of our household. A rule that is a pet peeve of my Husband's. My Husband gave me a budget to go grocery shopping with. I went over budget. I knew I was going over budget when I checked out and I knew we didn't have the extra money. I just really wanted the extra things at the time (childish and horrid, I know, I know!) The worst part?
He ended up having to work two days of overtime to compensate for my spending.
I told Him about going over budget a day or two later over the phone (before He checked the bank account Himself when He got home). I thought maybe He'd be a bit more calm about it if I gave Him the ride home to calm down. The truth is that I really didn't want to see the disappointment on His face and I really didn't want Him to pull me over His knee right then and there. Angry Hubby is not pretty and angry Hubby does not give warm ups.
When I told Him he was VERY calm. When He got home He was very calm.... TOO CALM. It's really making me nervous to the point that my tummy hurts and I can't sleep (maybe that's what He wants me to feel!) He hardly reacted at all! He just sighed and said "I'll have to work more overtime then." I feel horrible. I made the man I love, the provider of our family work even harder because of my selfish behavior. What's really getting to me is that this is not like me. I have rarely overspent (because I know what the consequences are). What I did was not bratting, it was not cute, it was awful. I haven't even apologized yet. Something about the way He is acting (aloof) is making me very nervous to bring it up. I'm afraid He'll ...well spank me! Maybe it's because I haven't had a true *punishment* spanking in a long while. I really hate when my Husband is angry at me but disappointed is much much worse. Truth be told I'm a little ashamed that I may cry if He spanks me for this. I've cried before for worse offenses but this feels different.
I'm unsure if I should speak to Him about this, let it be, or let Him come to me.
Thanks for your time, I hope this was an appropriate subject matter for this thread. I have never really posted anything *personal* on here and I'm very nervous about it.
Thank~You,
PixieKitten
"Naughty Pixies Always Get Caught."
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Pinkcheeks
Supreme Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 1355
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 13, 2007 - 04:37 pm: |
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Hey Pixie,
The fist thing that came to mind when I read your post was......"did she apologize?" Then I continued to read and saw that you did not. If he is acting "aloof" and is very calm, the maybe something else is bothering him.
Sorry hon, but the best advice I can give you, is to sit down and TALK to him about this as it appears to really be bothering you.
My husband and I have been married a VERY long time (over 30 years), and we don't have set rules (our spankings are not based on true DD). How much did you overspend if your hubby had to work 2 days of overtime?
If you know that the consequence is going to be a punishment spanking, then maybe the best thing to do is talk this out, and if he deems a spanking is necessary, then that is what is going to happen.
I think the reason that this situation might feel different for you is because of the disappointment on your hubby's face...that is what's making you feel quilty.
Maybe your husband is acting aloof because he does NOT want to spank you in anger (smart thing). Maybe he is thinking over the situation just like you are.
Good luck Pixie...we are here for you. I am sure others will give you helpful advice too. 
"Do I have to be good ALL the time?"
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Pixiekitten
New member
Username: Pixiekitten
Post Number: 33
Registered: 02-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 13, 2007 - 07:29 pm: |
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Thank you for your response Pink. I am planning on talking with my Husband tonight after He gets home (assuming He's in a good mood and not too tired).
I think you're right. I need to apologize and talk to Him about it. It's the guilt & 'unfinished business' feeling that's bothering me for sure. He has always been very good about not spanking me while He's angry and I should be very thankful for that fact. Thanks for your support.
~Pixie~
"Naughty Pixies Always Get Caught."
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Petergrimm
New member
Username: Petergrimm
Post Number: 25
Registered: 05-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 13, 2007 - 08:22 pm: |
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Yeah, you need to talk about this. You also have to come up with some way to "fix" the basic issue which is you overspent grocery money and I expect not on groceries, or at least not necessary things. Obviously if it was necessary basics, then either they keep and the overspending can be corrected next week, or the budget is insufficient.
You do not say, but I suspect Hubby knows which of these cases fit. If it is a case the budget is really tight, Hubby may be worried about a lot more than your transgression - after all he feels the responsibility to provide the lifestyle (including some "extras") that he will feel his family deserves. Even if the things that put you over-budget are purely "extras, he may still feel the problem comes back to him, since he would like to give you those things too.
If the overspending was on unnecessary things you need a system to control your spending impulses. Now punishment and /or reward can help reinforce your own willpower, and fit into a DD lifestyle, but it is easier to come up with a system so you avoid the temptation....
One trick is to make lists and only allow yourself to buy what's on the list. This works better if shopping is done often and anything you suddenly remember at the store can be put on tomorrow's list. We shop one or two bags at a time since we are using public transport or bicycle and it is part of the trip home from work two three times a week.
We also use that old archacic paper stuff - cash- to budget groceries - we take out so much every two weeks and that's it. There is also a fifty dollar float in a tin can - if used it must be replaced within the next pay period even if that means tightening the belt for two weeks.
We also budget the "extras" separately - a bit of money that we can either accumulate for something special, or blow each week right away. (Once it has been saved we don't "allow" it to be spent on anything except for something special) It would have to be a major emergency to use this money any other way.
The way you are feeling a good spanking by a calm Hubby may help you get past the guilt and self-recriminations, but it is not the way to go if he is really upset and angry. I would not push for such a release until the air is cleared, and the point of the spanking is clearly not his anger.
Best of luck
Peter Grimm |
Midnytedreams
New member
Username: Midnytedreams
Post Number: 35
Registered: 05-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 13, 2007 - 10:44 pm: |
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I read your post and I have to say it sounds like you are the one who is in turmoil ,you spent the money, knowing it was wrong and there would be consequences to your actions but you also sound as if you dont want the spanking now. Sometimes Doms have to walk away becuase they are so angry they know that a punishment at the time could be very severe and get out of hand , and it sounds as if the waiting and anticipation of the punishment is worse than the punishment to you. you are the only one who can decide which is worse. |
Pixiekitten
New member
Username: Pixiekitten
Post Number: 34
Registered: 02-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, June 14, 2007 - 01:55 pm: |
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Thank you for all of your responses. It is greatly appreciated and gives me a lot to think about.
PeterGrimm-Yes, our budget is very tight. So we don't have much wiggle room at all right now. You were very correct in saying that my Husband was worried about much more than just my actions. He is the sole bread winner and has a lot of stress right now regarding that. He in is the carpentry/construction industry and development has slowed significantly in our area. Our income has dropped by half in the last two years. He does feel guilty and upset at not being able to "spoil" everyone as he wants and feels we deserve. My carelessness made that worse and more than anything I want to support Him in His role in our home and thank Him for all of the hard work He does. We had a very meaningful discussion (among other things) last night and I am very sorry for what I did and do not plan on repeating it. Talking was the best solution and we really cleared up some areas we've been needing to talk about for some time. He also affirmed some expectations which made things a lot more clear for both of us. If anything, because of His insane working hours we really needed to reconnect in this way. We have always been strong, and I am blessed that we continue to grow stronger every day.
Mydnytedreams-You hit the nail on the head as well. He was angry and was very intentionally walking away from the issue temorarily because He was still very angry and upset. Yes, the anticipation was horrible but the spanking I received last night wasn't *peachy* either (more of a reddish-purple  ).
I will post the r/l account of my spanking in the 'r/l Spanking Stories' section if you A/all care to read it.
Thanks a bunch,
~Pixie~
"Naughty Pixies Always Get Caught."
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Blushingbride
Spanko
Username: Blushingbride
Post Number: 111
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, June 14, 2007 - 07:34 pm: |
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Good for you in getting up the courage to sit down and discuss this with him. I know that can be a hard conversation to get started, but I'm glad you 2 were able to sort things out and get back on track. |
Pixiekitten
New member
Username: Pixiekitten
Post Number: 36
Registered: 02-2007
| | Posted on Friday, June 15, 2007 - 04:41 pm: |
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Ty BlushingBride, me too. It was indeed a hard conversation to start but we both feel refreshed after having it. I think He thought it was a bit amusing that I don't "carry guilt well" and mentioned its wonderful ability to bring me to confess my misdeeds on my own. He knows how I hate displeasing Him and revels in it at times me thinks. 
Hugs,
Kitten
"Naughty Pixies Always Get Caught."
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