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Ddforme
New member
Username: Ddforme
Post Number: 4
Registered: 06-2007
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 19, 2007 - 10:43 pm: | 
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Hello,
So my husband and I are trying to have a successful DD relationship. We have tried a few times in the past and I always have trouble with submitting and actually taking a punishment spanking. Well, we decided to give it another go. He has a list of rules that I have to follow and I broke two of the rules today so I am guessing I am going to be spanked later tonight. I think that Part of me broke them just to test him and see if he really means it but as it comes closer I am getting really nervous, almost scared! I enjoy hand spankings way too much so he said that punishment spankings will be done with a wooden spoon to get the point across. I am now kind of wishing that I hadn't broken the rules. Well, we'll see what happens. Wish me luck!
(Message edited by ddforme on June 19, 2007) |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 1594
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 19, 2007 - 11:54 pm: |
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You say you've tried DD a few times before and it didn't work because you have trouble submitting and taking a punishment spanking.
Ummm, I'm not trying to be critical, I just want to help, but I have a question that I want you to really think about. Are you absolutely sure that it's a strictly disciplinary relationship that you want? When you say you think part of you broke the rules to test him, it makes me wonder what kind of discipline you're looking for. There's lots of variety in the disciplinary realm of spanking world so don't think your relationship has to conform to any one standard. I'm just trying to figure out what your situation is and what you want it to become.
If nothing else, something seems to be working since you're now wishing you hadn't broken the rules. But the question is, do you wish that because you regret your actions or because you really aren't ready to submit to a punishment spanking?
For me, discipline doesn't work unless it's my actions that bother me. The spanking is desired and a relief to me. It won't be a spanking I enjoy, but it's what I need at that point. It releases the negative feelings and replaces them with feelings of being loved, cared for, being released from guilt, and given a clean slate. All is forgiven and all is right in my world again.
But I'll be honest with you, submission isn't always easy.
Good luck!  |
Ddforme
New member
Username: Ddforme
Post Number: 5
Registered: 06-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 20, 2007 - 02:45 am: |
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Thanks for your help, I am not taking it as critical at all....I wasn't very clear on what I wanted. Yes, I want a strictly disciplinary relationship. Fun spankings and foreplay is great and all but it is not what I really want. Yes we have tried it in the past but I always freaked out when it came down to a punishment spanking and stopped the whole thing all together. You are right...submission is no easy task!
So let me go back a little bit and explain more about my situation. Yes, we have been experimenting on and off with DD for a couple of years. Like I said I always panic and it fizzles out and we stop but I still have this strong desire to be punished and held accountable for my actions. Last week or so we got into a huge argument about how I let the house go. It got really huge and I said some mean awful things. We made up late that night but before the great make up sex he flipped me over on my belly, pulled down my shorts and gave me the hardest hand spanking I ever had! I was shocked yet satisfied all at the same time. You better believe I cleaned up the house the next morning. But it was then that I realized that I needed it and we had a long talk about giving it another shot. Yes breaking the rules "on purpose" was wrong of me but I really wanted to see if he meant what he said, because there have been times in the past when he says he will do it and then never follows though.
So anyways.......I got my punishment spanking tonight so I know now that he means business. Yes we still need a lot of work and patience but i think we are down the right path. But anyways, when he got home he ate and talked to me about the rules that I had broken. He found three, I thought it was just two. He decided it would be 10 for each rule broken so a total of 30 with a heavy wooden ping pong paddle. As I sat there talking to him my insides were turning flips and I was really nervous about the spanking. I truly wished I had not done that and really just wanted to go to bed. When he was done eating he made me go get the ping pong paddle and meet him downstairs. I was ordered to take my shorts off and he took my arm and put me over his knee where he gave me 30 very hard smacks with the paddle. It hurt like hell too! He kind of got the picture that I broke the rules on purpose so he said from now on each rule broken would be 20 (instead of 10). My bottom was a firey red afterwards and I sat there with my head in his lap afterwards realizing that this was for real. No more games on my part. He added a few things to the list also....damn!
So even though we have been at this for a while now we still have a long way to go. I eventually do want to get to the point where it is truly a disciplinary relationship.
A big step for me though, I was able to submit myself to him and I accepted my punishment. I probably won't be breaking anymore rules just to test him though!
Thanks for your help! |
Monkeymomsc1
New member
Username: Monkeymomsc1
Post Number: 16
Registered: 05-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 20, 2007 - 06:31 am: |
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DD sounds like your trying to get all your ducks in a row. i think what you did was the right thing to do. Talk. Talk. Talk. Sounds like youve grown some thru this experiance. good for you. good luck and study those rules. |
Ddforme
New member
Username: Ddforme
Post Number: 6
Registered: 06-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 20, 2007 - 10:27 am: |
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Yes, I know . We have been at this for a while and I know it's what I want. Its take patience and communication, I know we will get there. We have tried it with and without rules and find that it works better if I have set rules to follow and chores that have to be done at the end of the day. I work from home so its my job to keep up the house and I tend to let it go.....a lot. This way I get things done....especially after last night, I don't want that paddle again, I am still pretty tender. Thanks guys, youa re great! |
Naughtypants
New member
Username: Naughtypants
Post Number: 5
Registered: 06-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 20, 2007 - 11:15 am: |
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Can I ask what are some of the rules you both have set? Don't feel like you have to tell me unless you want to, I'm just interested to know since I am in a DD relationship as well and it's pretty new for my husband and I. |
Ddforme
New member
Username: Ddforme
Post Number: 7
Registered: 06-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 20, 2007 - 12:42 pm: |
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Hehe, yeah I can give you a few....I am really bad at keeping things clean so most of them are basically keep the house clean, kitchen, cabnets, fridge, keep up with laundry, etc. He will check at the end of the day to make sure its all done. If its not then over the knee it is! Other things include no attitude, no arguing with him etc. Oh and I am in school so study everyday, and I have to be honest about that one. I must say it is helping me stay on top of things and I am happier when things are clean and organized. We are new at this too but I think we might be successful this time around. |
Naughtypants
New member
Username: Naughtypants
Post Number: 7
Registered: 06-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 20, 2007 - 01:26 pm: |
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Thanks Ddforme! It seems that a lot of your rules are what I am expected to follow too.
Sometimes, I can get away with things that he forgets to even think about such as making the bed (it's such a new rule that he doesn't even realize it's unmade when he gets into it at night)! I'm sure he'll come around though when he gets to checking the list. I get my more severe punishments for purposely disobeying (attitude), tantrums, and unsafe behavior (driving after a drink, no seat belt, etc.) But I must mention, I rarely drive after one drink, I am pretty safe, so I will most likely never see the wrath of that punishment. I'm also taking a graduate class and he keeps on me about that as well, but since I want to do well anyway, it's rare.
Thanks again for sharing! :-D |
Ddforme
New member
Username: Ddforme
Post Number: 8
Registered: 06-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 20, 2007 - 01:39 pm: |
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Yeah, thats pretty much what we do it. We are just starting out again so I am sure he will add more as we go along. He keeps thinking of new ones and I am like STOP enough already. With school I want to do well too so I do study but I have a bad habit of putting it off until the last minute and I failed a test because of that so he is really coming down on me now. I need it though so not complaining. |
Pixiekitten
New member
Username: Pixiekitten
Post Number: 42
Registered: 02-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 20, 2007 - 02:52 pm: |
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I agree that communication is key. Keep talking (respectfully) about what is and isn't working. If D/D is what you *really* want, you and your Husband will find a balance that works for both of you. As we grow and our lives change often things need tweaking so communication is very important at all times in my opinion.
"Naughty Pixies Always Get Caught."
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Naughtypants
New member
Username: Naughtypants
Post Number: 8
Registered: 06-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 20, 2007 - 02:55 pm: |
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Of course! Communication is vital, especially in this kind of relationship!
And procrastination sometimes gets me in trouble too!  |
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