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Message |
    
Missyanne
New member
Username: Missyanne
Post Number: 1
Registered: 09-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, September 14, 2008 - 10:13 pm: | 
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Hello All....
While spanking has been a part of our marriage for the past few years, it is only recently that it has become a chosen lifestyle for us. We've dabbled in it before .. but a month or so ago, we made DD an official way of life. Contract and all.
And truly, I've never been happier!!!
One of the cornerstones of our DD relationship that I've asked him to help me with is weight loss. I can't seem to be consistant on my own. I feel I need accountability. And my husband has been providing it, without fail.
However, I seem to be faltering again. One step forward, two steps back. I blame hormones for a lot of it. Chocolate and salt being HUGE cravings. But I am TRYING!!!
I am given a weight loss goal to meet each week. It is a fair goal. Not something that is unreasonable. Yet .. last week I did not meet the goal, and got soundly spanked for it. And this week, too, I failed to meet the goal .. and }was THOROUGHLY spanked for it. I am sitting very gingerly this evening as my spanking was delivered last night!
I am receiving everything that I asked for.
So............why do I feel so blue tonight? Why do I feel so, kind of, sad?
Is it hormonal (I am PMSing .. and expecting my period any minute now) .. or is there something more to it?
Maybe it's just a growing pain that all new DD couples go through?
MissyAnne.....} |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 1919
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, September 14, 2008 - 11:54 pm: |
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Before I get started, when it comes to strict DD and nothing else, it's been a long time since I practiced it seriously.
That said, I have a couple of theories. Could your feelings be due to the fact that you're just coming down from an endorphin high or could it be because you failed to meet your goal and thereby earned a punishment in the first place?
You could be experiencing subdrop which happens to some people after the endorphin high of a spanking. Subdrop can be distressing and you're probably in need of more reassurance and support than usual from your partner. If you're prone to PMS, you might just be feeling more emotional about the experience than normal, too.
You're new at this so it might not be all settled in your head yet. Accountability means more than just setting up rules and then getting spanked when you break those rules. Sounds cool but sometimes the fantasy and the reality have to meld together which might take some getting used to. Moving into a disciplinary relationship isn't like flipping a switch for everyone.
Also, you've invested a lot of yourself in this new arrangement and to fail two weeks running might be getting you down. Instead of feeling the guilt rise right up out of you and disappear (like everyone says it's supposed to), do you feel somewhat weighed down instead? There's more to discipline than just spanking. Are you also getting lots of forgiveness and encouragement to do better by your partner after the spanking? Since discipline is new, you might just be feeling a bit picked on right now, feeling a tad sorry for yourself, as well as feeling some leftover guilt. That's not unheard of.
This is the course you've chosen but it's not always an easy one, just don't get discouraged or expect too much too soon. Talk to your partner, get a plan in mind to meet your goals, and use these feelings to push yourself to do better.
Good luck, sweetie, and keep us updated.  |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3568
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, September 15, 2008 - 12:00 pm: |
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MissyAnne, having no idea what your weight loss plan is, keep in mind that you are not going to lose weight each and every week. Anyone who has been on a diet knows that despite every effort there are going to be weeks when you cannot lose or may even gain. And hormones do have a lot to do with it. Almost every woman retains water while PMing.
It might be more encouraging not to put so much emphasis on the scale and more on what you are eating and how you are exercising. I recommend you journal about exactly what you eat everyday and how long you exercise in a week. That would probably be a better test to see if you are doing well and evaluate your efforts. So instead of looking at pounds and ounces have your husband help you stick to well balanced eating plan and keep track of what you are burning off. Also remember that the more you lose the harder it is to keep losing. The less you weigh the less calories are needed by the body. At this time you need to step up calories burned.
Good luck and keep us posted. We will help too.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Ruinae8
Spanko
Username: Ruinae8
Post Number: 33
Registered: 03-2007
| | Posted on Monday, September 15, 2008 - 07:44 pm: |
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Missyanne, I cant help but think you have two very diverse interests involved here - you want to lose weight and you also want discipline spankings - why not change the rules that you get a discipline spanking when you do lose weight? (you could set the rules to be however many ounces/pounds or whatever is an achievable goal) - the point Im trying to make is - on your "current contract" if you lose weight you dont get"rewarded"!
Maybe turn the thing upside down into an incentive on a positive note rather than an incentive on a negative note.
Your current "contract" terms may well be the reason for your "low" at the moment, insofar you got your desired punishment spanking fulfilled but did not achieve the weight loss - so whilst you achieved a momentary high from the punishment you still feel that you have failed i.t.o the weight loss. |
Wolfie
Prime Spanko
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1914
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, September 15, 2008 - 09:33 pm: |
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Ive tried to do this myself, but had many difficulties with my having a l/d spanker. It's hard to be good about not sneaking a treat when you know you may have to wait months for your comeuppance. 
Missyanne, nothing is harder than trying to beat a long time habit and overeating is as hard to stop for most as smoking or drinking is. Good for you for doing as well as you've been doing, and good for your husband for trying to help you this way. As you've found out, it's not easy. Your case of the blues is because it's all come down to this moment...you've plateaued and you've received the punishment you asked for, and you feel like your getting nowhere. Add in a bit of PMS and of course you feel down.
Make sure your getting plenty of support from your spanker, it's very important to feel forgiven and loved with what your going through. I hope there's also rewards for any losses or even if you just stay the same weight and dont gain...perhaps a GG? 
Your no different than any other woman whose trying to lose weight, you've just added serious consequences to your program. Eventually you hit that point where the weight just wont come off and that's when you need to be patient and not give up hope. This is perfectly normal for anyone on a weight loss program, and it doesnt deserve punishment. Save the serious spankings for when you gain weight (more than a pound or two) and/or when you cheat on your diet. Those should keep you on track.
Good luck kiddo, you can do it!
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Oftenred
Spanko
Username: Oftenred
Post Number: 53
Registered: 02-2007
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 16, 2008 - 08:59 pm: |
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I have to agree with what others have said, health is important when dieting too, never forget that. I recently started the same punishment arrangement for dieting too. Although I have been getting erotic spankings and love them for a long time. I have been getting punishment spankings since starting my diet on July 15th. It is working well for me, I have lost 26 pounds as of today. I hope this will encourage you to keep going, my "goal is to loose another 20 pounds in the next three months...best of luck to you. |
Ladykayra
Spanko
Username: Ladykayra
Post Number: 29
Registered: 03-2008
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2008 - 12:57 am: |
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I am not sure how long you have been doing the weight lost and the DD but you have to remember alot of women retian water/weight right before thier period and during their period. So this might be why you didn't lose the weight this week even though you tried. Something to consider. I know when I had my periods, I would always weight a lb or two more during the week before I srarted then the week of my period I would lose those extra pounds. I was so worried about my weight I had a eating disorder for many yrs, and when I talked to my DR when I started to have kids cause I wanted to over come the eat disorder about the weight gain after having kids, he told me that it was normal not to panic. *I noticed it before I had kids too and I always tried to lose those lbs but couldn't* Once we talked and I paid attention he was right. The week before my period I would gain more weight even though I didnt eat more.. I havent had a period in 14 yrs, but I can still tell when I release an egg. I still have one of my ovaries. I gain weight every month about five lbs now, and not only that I can't fit into my pants for that week. I still get upset but I know in a week I will lose the weight and my belly will go down to what it was before.
So maybe the week before your period you could get a time out.. Chart it for a few months, see if this happens to you. If it does then you know your not failing or doing anything wrong. And still watch what you eat but at least you wont be punished for not losing any weight or gaining it if you happen to do, esp if it goes away the following week without trying.
Good luck
Marie |
Missyanne
New member
Username: Missyanne
Post Number: 2
Registered: 09-2008
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2008 - 11:26 pm: |
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Hi All ..
What a great group of people on this site!!!
You've all been such a wealth of information and support to me. You can't begin to know how this has helped me. You've made me think of things in a different light .. and to perhaps reevaluate the way we've been doing things.
I do think perhaps the cause for a bit of my "blues" was due to the "let down". After all of the anticipation, thinking about the impending punishment for days before it came to fruition (having a teenager in the house, you have to take your opportunities as you can find them!), experiencing the rush of endorphins during the experience .. and then it's over. The aftercare is always lovingly and generously applied. But it's kind of like a let down .. the sub drop .. the next day.
I wonder if he feels it too? He was kind of different the next day, also .. but not sure if it was his reaction towards me .. or maybe he was going thru his own kind of "dom drop" thing. Definitely something to ask him about.
Anyway .. thank you all for your support and understanding. I juuuuuust might make my goal this week 
MissyAnne |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 1923
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, September 19, 2008 - 04:10 am: |
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MissyAnne, I'm glad we could help! Good luck with your goal and keep in mind all the good advice you've gotten here about weight loss.
Keep us updated! |
Catalyst
New member
Username: Catalyst
Post Number: 7
Registered: 08-2008
| | Posted on Monday, September 22, 2008 - 06:05 pm: |
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Hi Missyanne...
I'll be interested to hear your results, as I'm on the male side of a similar arrangement. I've recruited my wife to try a temporary DD contract for 6 months. I got fed up listening to her self pity over body image, combined with inaction, so I wrote up a DD contract. The basic idea is that she must work out for 30 minutes 5 times a week with hard aerobic activity. She keeps a journal with the week's plan, completed workouts and infractions. She gets a weekly maintenance spanking of 25 swats, and we review her progress for the week and do a weighing. If she misses a workout, she gets 25 swats. If she doesn't make it up by the maintenance spanking, we add 25 swats. If she drinks during the week, its 4 swats per drink (this is her main source of bad calories). I do not place any goal whatsoever on the actual weight loss, as I firmly believe that if she exercises and avoids the source of her "extra" calories that the weight will come off. Also I wanted a deal that could become permanent, and didn't have built into it the assertion that "you're fat", but rather "you will do what's required to be fit", as this is a sustainable, positive, self esteem creating message.
I also think women often get discouraged when they set some lofty weight loss goal, work hard for several weeks, make good progress but fall short of their overzealous goal, and get discouraged and quit, when in reality everything was fine. I spank her for bad choices, in order to change her behavior when her self discipline fails. At the end of 4 weeks, she's lost about 11 pounds, despite a very bad week 3. On good weeks, I tell her she's done well during the maintenance spanking and make her commit to doing well again next week. On bad weeks, I scold her, and make her commit to following the process, and I light a fire on her behind to enforce it. |
Swtsuz63
New member
Username: Swtsuz63
Post Number: 1
Registered: 09-2008
| | Posted on Thursday, September 25, 2008 - 06:14 pm: |
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Hi MissyAnne,
Just wanted to say I went through the same thing in an opposite way. I have a major eating disorder(anorexia) that I couldnt by myself control. When I got to 90 lbs. my husband decided to use our DD marriage to take care of it. It was pretty much the same as catalyst...I had to write down what I ate and how much I exercised but when I did TOO much I would be punished. I can tell you that was the only thing that helped me get better although sometimes I did still lose weight even when I wasnt trying. I understand the letdown you feel; Im not sure if I was more disappointed that I let him down or that I failed in doing something that I was trying so hard at but either way its an awful feeling. I can say though that I finally have the eating and excercising thing under control so dont give up....like with anything else, patience (and a good spanking)!! work wonders.
Suzanne |
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