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Wtrlile177
New member
Username: Wtrlile177
Post Number: 2
Registered: 09-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, October 12, 2008 - 02:10 pm: | 
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To wait for a spanking that is due? I lost control and was disrespectful and stuff on Friday night...and am still waiting. Part of me is irritated, and doesn't have faith that he will deliver at all, and correction is what I feel very strongly that we need in our marriage to keep it running smoothly. I would prefer immediate correction. He says that the time hasn't been right (the kid has been awake or something) and that he wants me to think about it. What does everyone think about this? How long do you usually have to wait to be punished? |
Swtsuz63
New member
Username: Swtsuz63
Post Number: 2
Registered: 09-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, October 12, 2008 - 05:44 pm: |
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My husband usually likes to punish me right away but sometimes it has to wait because like you there may be kids around or whatever. I hate waiting. It makes it so much worse to wonder what he has in store for me.
Suzanne |
Tawseman
New member
Username: Tawseman
Post Number: 10
Registered: 07-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, October 12, 2008 - 05:56 pm: |
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I do it within 24 hours max, unless there is a very good reason. My preference is the same day, as it allows her to sleep that night without any anxiety that would interfere with good sleep. In fact, a good spanking is a sleep-enhancer.
BTW, quieter implements allow more opportunities. |
Wtrlile177
New member
Username: Wtrlile177
Post Number: 3
Registered: 09-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, October 12, 2008 - 06:40 pm: |
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Yes, I feel like 24 hours would be better..truly I'm just hoping we can get it over with tonight so it doesn't hang over into next week. He said now I can tell him when so I'm going to try to ask (gulp!) for it when I get home from work tonight. Wish me luck! |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3591
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 12, 2008 - 06:53 pm: |
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This is a really difficult question to answer because as you state, real life gets in the way. There are also members who do not see their spankers on a daily basis, so they have no choice but to wait. Therefore, we can't put an arbitrary time frame on any activity.
That said, I have to wonder if this is really your question. You say he keeps putting it off because of the "kids or something" and he wants to make you think about it. Are you concerned that there is another reason why he has not spanked you yet?
The only reason I bring this up is because you are very young at age 23, and possibly you have not yet experienced the fact that at times, one member or the other in a spanking relationship just may not be putting spanking as a top priority at the moment. This is normal, just as a person's sexual desires are not the same every day, neither is their spanking desire. Maybe, he is just not in the particular mood at the moment, and you need to be a bit more patient.
Keep in mind, that this is being written by one of the most impatient people on the face of the Earth. 
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Wtrlile177
New member
Username: Wtrlile177
Post Number: 4
Registered: 09-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, October 12, 2008 - 10:41 pm: |
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Hmm..I guess I might be concerned more that he won't at all. We are both young, and mostly just starting this up again. And one of the hardest things for me is trusting him to come through for me with what I feel like I 'need' but don't really want him to do..
I do think its possible he wasn't in the 'mind space' to take care of it yet, but I'm feeling as time goes on like I'm less in the right state to accept it and for it to be meaningful..does that make any sense? |
Ladykayra
Spanko
Username: Ladykayra
Post Number: 32
Registered: 03-2008
| | Posted on Monday, October 13, 2008 - 01:35 am: |
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Wtrlile177,
I understand the feeling of having to wait.. I hate it.. Although it really depends on alot of things in our house.. One we have a teenage daughter who knows I am spanked *she never sees it, but our rooms are right next to each other so she hears it* she says she doesn't care what we do, but she hates hearing us, not just spanking but sex too lol.. Then there are other issues.. A month or so ago, I did something I shouldn't have... I went to the DR cause I thought I had bronchitis <?> and I also had a migraine at the same time.. So the DR told me I was going to get three shots.. One to clear my head, one for my chest *steroids* and then one for my headache.. Which with all three meant I couldn't drive home. The DR told me I needed to get someone to drive me, I was *NOT* to drive. So I called my husband who works 30 minutes away to come and get me.. We only live ten minutes from the Dr.. Well he had forgotten his cell phone that morning at home.. So after I got off the phone, the nurse came in and gave me my *shot* turned out I was only given a pain shot for my migraine.. Which for most people put them to sleep, for me though it wakes me up.. So I tried to call my husband back but he had already left work..
Well since I didn't get the three shots, I went ahead and drove home.. Mistake number one
When my HOH got to the DR office he wasn't to pleased, cause he still thought I had gotten all three shots.
When he got home, he asked me why I drove home and I explained to him I only got the one shot for my headache. And I *we* knew it wouldn't make me tired and I didn't want to leave my car at the DR's office all day/night. I tried to explain to him that I tried to call him to tell him not to come get me but he had already left work.
He wasn't mad at first cause he does know my migraine shots don't make me sleepy. Although I had told him that the DR told me not to drive. So he brought that up, and we ended up arguing.. Mistake number two..
Well he sent me to bed, and said as soon as my meds kicked in and knocked out the bronchitis he would punish me for not following DR's orders, and arguing with him.. We thought it would take a day or two. This was on a Monday. The following wed I was BACK in the DR's office cause the meds simply weren't working.. Turned out I didn't have bronchitis I had walking pneumonia. So from Sept 8th until Sept 18th.
I started to feel better about the 15th but was still coughing alot.. I had a re-check on the 17th and the DR said that the cough was going to be around for a while. Although from the 8th to the 12th I was in bed 21 hours a day. I didn't eat, or hardly smoke *yes I smoke* After I started to get better where I thought I could handle a punishment I asked him to please give it to cause I wanted it over with.
He said no, he would decide when.. At one time, I even asked if he would forget it cause it had been so long.. And he said no again.
Granted it was cause I was so ill that it had to be postponed.. But there have been other times, that I have had to wait four or five days to get a punishment.. Not to often.
We started out with a DD contract, and it is worded as..
(Punishment
Because punishment is to correct an issue or infraction that has occurred, punishment is to be considered the most severe step of DD. Punishments will apply when the spouse has been warned about the behavior, and has done nothing to correct it. Any specific rule listed here is to be considered as that warning; therefore, no further notice will be given. As said before, punishment is a correction of something that happened or did not happen. Once she has been informed that she will be punished, a IM or email will be given to the spouse as a notice of pending punishment. (this is for when he is not home and I have broke a rule and he knows about and decides I am to be punished) This warning will be for anything other than listed rules. this has be carried out within 48 hours of being informed. Besides listed rules, a IM or email will be given to the spouse as a notice of pending punishment. The only time this will be deviated from, is for medical reasons, in which case the punishment will commence at the earliest possibility. Although, punishment generally will include some sort of spanking, there may be other components to the punishment as part or all of the punishment. The safe word “red” is only to be used here in a case of physical conditions that could bring illness. )
maybe, you could ask him to use the agreement I have.. This way you know just how long you have to wait period.. Unless he comes to you and says something comes up and it will be dished out on this day or in so many more days.
A side note.. If my HOH informs me I am to be punished for something, and he does not dish out said punishment with in the 48 hours without giving me a reason, the punishment is forgiven. He added this cause I asked him to due to the fact when we first entered into DD he would say he would punish me, and then forget about it unless I reminded him..So that was added, cause I didn't think it was fair for me to do something one day, and him tell me I was going to be punished, and then a week later him going *oh yea you did this last week, so now I am punishing you for it* So the 48 hour rule was put into place.. The only time it's not forgiven is if he comes to me and says, *I know you were to be punished tonight or tomorrow but something had come up so we will be moving it to *this* day. Normally its 24 hours later* Although if he doesn't tell me it's been changed and the 48 hours has pasted I can say that I am forgiven and do not have to take the punishment if I don't want to.. KNOCK ON wood this has never happen..
He really try's to correct any and all problems the same day.. Although our daughter has started to attend church. So now days any severe punishments are dished out either Wed night, or Sundays. These nights I am almost always spanked if he wasn't able to give me a spanking before those nights. Since she started to attend church if I make a big mistake and he thinks I need to *think* about it, he will say, wait until our daughter goes to church. Again, knock on wood it's not all the time, but there have been a few times. We also have every other weekend to ourselves now days, as she found a best friend and spends the weekend with her. We own horses, and so does her friend, and we both pay to board them at the same place, so when she spends the weekend with her friend, they are at the barn. So this gives us time alone. So if I have done something during the week which she is to spend the weekend away he will tell me that he will deal with it Friday night after he gets home from work cause our daughter is already gone.
We haven't used the contract in a while, So for the most part the 48 hour rule isn't in place.. Unless I am sick with a migraine, or my back is acting up.. I have a bulging disk and arthritis in my back.. So he wont punish me if either of those is acting up, but he will try dish out the punishment with in 48 hours for the most part or as soon as I tell him I am feeling better. If I take my meds for either one, and I am not hurting in a few hours after I earned a punishment and daughter is sleeping *or gone* he will correct me then. Other wise he simply waits.
Maybe you could put your kids in church activity or something where you could get nights free? Girl scouts, boy scouts... I hate having to wait it really does seem like it makes it worse.. For me, waiting is being punished twice it seems like.. Seeing the disappointment in him and knowing I am going to be punished later makes me feel twice as bad while I wait.. So I feel for you.. Good Luck
PS hope this isnt to much info and it helps. |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3592
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 13, 2008 - 10:48 am: |
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"I do think its possible he wasn't in the 'mind space' to take care of it yet, but I'm feeling as time goes on like I'm less in the right state to accept it and for it to be meaningful..does that make any sense?"
Yes, this makes complete sense. We have all been there at one time or another, so don't let it bring you down. It may be a good idea to discuss this issue with him and make a decision to let this one go and possibly bring it back up at a later date. Do whatever works for you, and always keep in mind that life is complicated and we all have other things going on that at times makes it difficult to do "the ideal."
There have been a time or two in my own relationship when the opportunity to spank just didn't work. Some time later (probably months) he came to me and said he should have spanked me at the time, but he felt the need to deal with it then. I agreed and it worked. Flexibility is sometimes the key word in any relationship.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Wtrlile177
New member
Username: Wtrlile177
Post Number: 5
Registered: 09-2008
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 21, 2008 - 03:36 pm: |
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Ladykara, thank you for your insight. And everyone else. here's what happened, and this is what happened last time too. He knows that I desperately desire to be controled, to be taken care of when something happens. And I tend to "test" the fact that he is serious (this time) about taking care of me. Because that is what it all boils down to, I want to be taken care of. So what it comes down to now, is he has decided that he will spank me on his schedule, not mine. I got irritated a couple nights ago and just threw a huge fit and he refused, and said those words. On his schedule, not mine. So I am waiting, patiently (ha!) still. And thats it. Does anyone else have the same problem or any theories? 
Thanks all! |
Zippo
Prime Spanko
Username: Zippo
Post Number: 1717
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 21, 2008 - 06:24 pm: |
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Wtrlile just wanted to put my 2 cents worth in here, You say that you want to be contolled yet you want to establish the parameters of your spankings. It sounds like to me he has established the control, and will spank you when he feels it is warranted. I personally dealt with issues as soon as it was feasable, but in this busy world of ours, that can sometimes take time. There are a few things that would cause me to delay any enforcement, 1- I was still angry...I never act while hot headed, it only leads to trouble. 2- I had not decided what action is appropreiate weather it be a spanking, some form of sanction or combination of actions. 3- Outside life makes it impossible to deal with the actions at that point. Remember that if you want to be controlled, you need to defer to his judgement. A regular schedule of maintenance spankings tend to work much better than bratting your way into it, especially since he knows thats what YOU want. Just food for thought.
The Brat Tamer...changing brats attitudes one smack at a time
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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 1945
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 21, 2008 - 10:54 pm: |
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If you manipulate him into spanking you, then he's not really the one in control, is he? I agree with what Zippo said; you need to defer to his judgement if you truly want to be controlled. |
Wtrlile177
New member
Username: Wtrlile177
Post Number: 6
Registered: 09-2008
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 22, 2008 - 09:09 pm: |
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::whine:: I know. I am trying. Thats what I was thinking...that I was doing that thing "topping from the bottom"? right. And I'm trying to turn it all over to him. Does anyon else struggle with this? It's incredibly frustrating for me. |
Badgirl000
New member
Username: Badgirl000
Post Number: 3
Registered: 10-2008
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 22, 2008 - 10:22 pm: |
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I am punished almost immediately. Sometimes life doesn't allow for immediate punishment and because I am pretty hard headed sometimes my punishments add up so my spankings last a long time and are very very hard. I would rather be spanked immediately when I break the rules. Don't always get my way though. |
Joncrader
New member
Username: Joncrader
Post Number: 4
Registered: 10-2008
| | Posted on Thursday, October 23, 2008 - 07:42 pm: |
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Does 'Justice delayed is justice denied' apply here? ---Edit by admin--- When I determine that a spanking is necessary then it seems only loving to 'get it over with' as quickly as possible. Because a Dom can construct punishment and way he wants does not alleviate the responsibility to use considered and considerate judgement.
(Message edited by bethie on October 23, 2008) |
Slavegirl
New member
Username: Slavegirl
Post Number: 10
Registered: 09-2008
| | Posted on Saturday, October 25, 2008 - 07:22 am: |
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sometimes I get punished straight away, either because master fancies it, but generally only if it is not convenient to wait a while, say we are going out later.
more usually he sets a time a couple of hours later that day. a quarter of an hour bfore the appointed time i have to prepare myself by going to our bedroom and reflecting on my misdeed, thinking about the stated punishment or thinking about how i might apropriately be punished if he has not told me and this is for discussion.
i am sometimes required to undress down to undies or just knickers before he comes. i rarely have to strip completely. he likes to take my knickers down himself or make me do it in front of him.
i am sometimes required to fondle my breasts and / or play with you know where while i am waiting, always lightly, not to orgasm. that comes later!
i may or may not have to get out the implements or be bending over at the appointed time.
all of this heightens the anticipation for both of us. |
Peachybot
New member
Username: Peachybot
Post Number: 1
Registered: 10-2008
| | Posted on Saturday, October 25, 2008 - 12:16 pm: |
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Slavegirl
I do so agree. Anticipation is undoubtedly part of the experience, just as much as the punishment itself,the afterglow after punishment and subsequent sex if that is part of the scenario.
It is such a pity to miss out on any of it.
When I am in sub mode one of my friends makes me wait in the pillory, naked, with my legs spread and a fan blowing air over my genitals, before he starts off with a light pussy whipping. Lightly weighted nipple clamps often feature as well, since your tits hang down and swing in the pillory and the weights add a touch of piquancy while you wait for punishment to start. The sensation is just too delicious.
In dom mode I usually allow time for anticipation, even if this is just the time it takes to tell my partner off and explain what I going to do to her, or what she is going to do for me. But occasionally it is fun to just spank her straight off before she has a chance to prepare for it.
Peachybot |
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