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Lysxx
New member
Username: Lysxx
Post Number: 1
Registered: 05-2010
| | Posted on Thursday, May 27, 2010 - 03:55 pm: | 
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My name is Alyssa, I'm 20 years old and I live in the state of Virgina. I have had very little experience with spanking, although I have had an unshakeable interest in it since I was rather young. The small bit of experience I have wasn't until this year though. It was from a friend and...that was really complicated and doesn't happen anymore. It was a very brief-lived situation... Although she still refuses to give back my ruler.
Despite my interest, it is extremely difficult for the word 'spanking' to actually leave my lips. I wonder just how 'out of place' that puts me. I just, can't seem to say the word out of sheer embarrassment. The topic has always been very taboo. Anything I wanted to know I had to search for online, and I don't think I've covered even half the bases. There's absolutely no one I can talk to about it. I tried that once. The result? I just kinda felt like a freak even though I know there's nothing wrong with my interest.
I guess, what I really want, is to understand more about spanking, about other people's experiences with it and how it works for them. I'd like to become more comfortable with the subject. And then, just maybe, I can actually say the word without my voice drying up in my throat. |
Rosycheeks
New member
Username: Rosycheeks
Post Number: 15
Registered: 05-2010
| | Posted on Friday, May 28, 2010 - 12:18 pm: |
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Hi Lysxx,
Beleive me you are not alone or "out of place" at all. What we enjoy is not commonly discussed in mainstream "society" and yet when you look at it you will find it permeates throughout many cultures. Thank goodness for the internet or many would never have the nerve to investigate it.
I'm in my early 50's and only started participating with my husband of 22 years in the last 2 of those years because I was too nervous to share my inner need with him. Cudo's to you for not waiting as long as I did!
I will not lie to you-every time you "share" your passion for spanking you are putting yourself at risk therefore My advice would be choose carefully whom ever you share it with-but if you are in a trusting relationship I would say find some way to get it into the open. I look at it this way (but then I have a few years on you and have reached a different point in life so take this as just a suggestion) if your partner is the right one for you then a. you should be able to discuss anything with him/her b.he or she should be willing to at least once try what ever will bring you pleasure
As to how to broach the subject-I have said in other posts that I am strongly in favor of leaving subtle hints where he/she can't miss them-ie.books / articles or movies on the subject-you can always say you were just currious and start up an "innocent-impromptu" conversation.
Good luck and don't fret- it does get easier to talk about the more you do it-just be sure you feel trusting of the person you share with and the net is a great place to search for answers annonomously.
I'm sure the folks in here will give you plenty of support-we probably all started out just as nervous as you feel now.
Glad you found this place it is a good safe environment to become educated at. |
Yorkie69
Spanko
Username: Yorkie69
Post Number: 110
Registered: 01-2010
| | Posted on Friday, May 28, 2010 - 06:50 pm: |
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Rosycheeks, you are dead right about starting out just as nervous as Lysxx!
Lysxx, I am 41, married with 4 kids. My wife knew of my "need" before we were married as we both made a point of telling each other everything. She even indulged me back then (20 yrs ago!) but after a few years and especially after the kids came along she flat out refused. It was only at the start of this year that she realized how important it was to me that she happily changed her mind about it.
As you will see you are definitely not alone. My wife and I try to normalize our lifestyle as much as possible as we both acknowledge that there is no point me trying to deny or supress it.
You are indeed brave for even posting here but as us Aussies say "Good on ya!" and I do hope you find some one special to share your need with.
All the best.
Yorkie
Nothing says "I love you" like a warm bottom
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Boomer
Spanko
Username: Boomer
Post Number: 72
Registered: 07-2008
| | Posted on Saturday, May 29, 2010 - 11:31 am: |
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Lysxx, welcome to the Den from someone in your own backyard. I've been fascinated by this topic (spanking) most of my life, but did not seriously embrace my interest in it until I was about your age - and that was without the benefit of the Internet - imagine how difficult that was. I've watched spanking become almost mainstream in the years that followed, thanks mostly to the media. I'm in my 50s also and have found a loving spouse who indulges my spanking needs within our relationship. The word "spanking" gives me goose bumps whenever I hear it - especially from my spouse. My advice would be to indulge your interest and curiosity through the Internet and in places with other like-minded folks such as us and embrace who you are. At your young age, you have your whole life ahead of you - there are plenty of others out there that share your interests and would love to talk with you about them. I wish you the best and look forward to hearing more from you. |
Lysxx
New member
Username: Lysxx
Post Number: 2
Registered: 05-2010
| | Posted on Saturday, May 29, 2010 - 10:09 pm: |
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Rosycheeks, I would definitely agree with you - the internet is a very good ally. Without it, who would there be to ask? People don't exactly walk around with secret signs saying "Don't worry, I'm like you!" and I know for a fact those close to me have nothing to do with it. But the internet, well, there's really nothing you can't find.
I have to commend you though, for being able to wait that long. For me, that would be torture. But I'm glad it worked out for you and you got your spanking-happily-ever-after. =)
I realize how selective you have to be with who you tell, as you said. There's only one person close to me I've ever tried to share that part of me with. I tried testing the waters by offering an innocent suggestion in a storyline. She and I were working out things for the characters we were writing about (hopefully for a book one day) and I decided to go with a "Callista and Seme have some very interesting rough sex. I could see Callista going for an erotic spanking." The response was laughter and a 'No way, that's just weird'. That wasn't a very encouraging statement, so I dropped it for a long while. I eventually picked it up again, tried and failed at explaining a few times, and finally got to the point I'm at now. Which, is a confusing place because my friend gets angry with me pretty much every time I try to talk about it. She says its because she thought she knew everything about me and then she finds out this new thing and feels like she doesn't know me at all. She said that this side of me doesn't fit, that it contradicts everything else about me. I'm afraid a guy will say the same thing to me in the future, but, like you said, if he's right for me we should be able to work something out. I know what I want and I intend to get it. Sooo, this will be fun.  Thanks for making me feel welcome~.
Yorkie69, I'm happy that you were granted what you needed even though, for a little while, it was shaky. Needs like that are a part of a person, always will be. They don't 'fade away' and therefore really can't be ignored. I had always wondered how 'normal' a relationship can be under though circumstances though. It's a relief for me to know that people can function properly in a relationship pertaining to such interests. Most definitely a very, very happy thought. =) And thank you, I appreciate the support~.
Boomer, my own backyard, huh? Well, if that means you're talking about the same state then yaaay! I'm not a solitary being in a single state! Again, it's exciting to hear that so many people get their happy ends in this sort of world. So, I'm happy for you~. And I'm also glad to hear that I'm not alone in feeling all goose bumpy when someone else says the word "spanking" aloud. When I was in the situation of pre-spanking and I'd hear the words "Go get the ruler" and my immediate response would be "...no. no. no. You know what? I think I'm good." I don't know why, I guess because it really does hurt, but I can never just agree. I tend to be the epitome of stall tactics.
Like you said, I am at a reasonably young age, which offers me a wide variety of options. I'm just starting to get how wide-spread this thing goes, which is definitely a comfort. And really, thanks, I appreciate the suppose and well-wishes.
~~Post edited by Admin - No underage references of any kind are allowed here. Please, read the rules in the Site Information area.~~ |
Boomer
Spanko
Username: Boomer
Post Number: 74
Registered: 07-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, May 30, 2010 - 08:35 am: |
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Lysxx - I'm from the DC suburbs of VA.
~~Edited by Admin~~ |
Lysxx
New member
Username: Lysxx
Post Number: 4
Registered: 05-2010
| | Posted on Sunday, May 30, 2010 - 11:40 am: |
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Boomer - I've been to DC a couple times before, but not so much the suburbs. I'm still relatively new to the area, but you aren't terribly far from me. I live over in Fairfax.
~~Edited by Admin~~ |
Boomer
Spanko
Username: Boomer
Post Number: 77
Registered: 07-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, May 30, 2010 - 11:51 am: |
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Lysxx, Hmmm...more like your in my back pocket. |
Lysxx
New member
Username: Lysxx
Post Number: 6
Registered: 05-2010
| | Posted on Sunday, May 30, 2010 - 12:42 pm: |
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Boomer - I dunno...is that a good thing or a bad thing? |
Boomer
Spanko
Username: Boomer
Post Number: 78
Registered: 07-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, May 30, 2010 - 04:01 pm: |
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Just a coincidence I 'spose ;) |
Lysxx
New member
Username: Lysxx
Post Number: 7
Registered: 05-2010
| | Posted on Sunday, May 30, 2010 - 10:58 pm: |
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Okay then. As long as that has been established. =) |
Boomer
Spanko
Username: Boomer
Post Number: 79
Registered: 07-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, May 30, 2010 - 11:06 pm: |
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What has been established? |
Lysxx
New member
Username: Lysxx
Post Number: 8
Registered: 05-2010
| | Posted on Monday, May 31, 2010 - 12:20 am: |
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That a coincidence has taken place?
(Message edited by lysxx on May 31, 2010) |
Subbie
Advanced Spanko
Username: Subbie
Post Number: 309
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 02, 2010 - 05:53 am: |
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Hi Lysxx, glad stopped by, I would be very careful about who I mention spankings too. I understand that it is hard to find another spanko but it is far better to be safe than sorry.
I was 33 when I met my Hubby and it took another year before I got the nerve up talk to him about play spankings. ...good luck
my name says it all
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