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Meiho
New member
Username: Meiho
Post Number: 1
Registered: 05-2011
| | Posted on Thursday, May 12, 2011 - 05:08 am: | 
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Hi all,
I am a 24yo female and can't believe that I am actually speaking to somebody about my "freakishness".
To cut a long story short. I have always been into spanking (as a bottom) yet I was always too shy to openly express my wishes and desires.
I can't explain why it has always fascinated me. I guess since I have been feeling for such a long time this way it always made me feel weird or like I was being unnormal.
I am now married to a loving husband and although I get some occasional "love pats" I have been too shy to tell him how much I am into spanking. I was surfing the internet looking at some threads along the lines of "how to ask your husband for a spanking" and came across this site.
I haven't been able to read much yet but I hope to get in touch with nice people who do not think that my behavior is freakish and who may even be able to give me some hints how to talk to my husband about my desires.
Thanks for reading
Meiho |
Mbottom
New member
Username: Mbottom
Post Number: 11
Registered: 04-2011
| | Posted on Thursday, May 12, 2011 - 10:40 am: |
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First of all, I want to say 'Hello' & welcome to the den.....I am pretty new to this site too.....altho, what you have said is as if I typed it personally!! Down to an exact tee!! I too, felt the same way, till recently being able to share my feeling with people here....I read so much here, for so long, before I actually felt comfortable posting anything....You can see my 'New Here' in the Meet & Greet....Since you are in the same position I was in a few months ago, I am hoping that I can tell you how things have progressed for my husband & I, and that maybe it will help you too!! My husband is also a new member here, he goes by 'Brandspankingnew', and may have a few posts that may make you feel more at ease, since I have recently shared my thoughts and feelings with him.....(we have been together for nearly 17 years, and just recently spilled ALL of what I have been hiding from him over the years)....
I have some things I need to get to at the moment, but I will be back later today to check in & share!!
Its wonderful to not feel so alone anymore!! Nice to meet you, talk to you soon!! :o) |
Zippo
Prime Spanko
Username: Zippo
Post Number: 1760
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, May 12, 2011 - 02:27 pm: |
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Welcome to the Den Meiho!
Though it still may be considered a bit taboo in mainstream society, do not consider your desires about spanking freakish. The are more of us than you realize. Because of societies view on spanking, I am greatful there is forums like the Den, where we can come and talk about our desires, pose questions, and know that we will not be judged for our views.
As almost anyone in the lifestyle will tell you, good honest communication between partners is the most essential element. With that being said, how to approach the subject with your husband, to test the waters with him, next time he gives you a few "love pats" tell him how delicious it feels and ask him if he would be willing take you over his knee and spank you further. Flirt with him, tell him how naughty it makes you feel. If he is worried about hurting you, which many are, suggest using a safeword which you can use if the action becomes too intense for you. Another thing you can try, let him catch you reading a spanking story, and tell him you think that it sounds kind of hot and that you would maybe like to try something like that. If he is willing, after the spanking, that would be a good time to come clean with him, and tell him you would like to pursue it further. Be honest with him, let him know the aspects of the spanking you liked, and areas that you would like to explore. Be sure to encourage him that this is what you truly want, and perhaps reward him with a sexual favor so he can see his efforts are appreciated. Take small steps with him, allow him to become used to the idea of spanking you, he may be a bit uncomfortable at first, but if he sees a positive reaction from you, it will make his transistion easier. Again I can't stress enough, talk to him after the spanking is finished. If you want a longer or more intense situation, tell him, tell him you loved what he did, only maybe next time could we try a longer harder session. That way he doesnt get discouraged, and he then knows your desires. It will take some time for both of you to find your comfort zone, but try not to be embarrassed to talk to him openly and honestly about your feelings and desires. Remember, that he loves you, and wants to make you happy. Even if he does not have spanko tendencies at first, he may be willing to engage in them for your sake, and he may grow more comfortable with them as time progresses.
I hope this was helpful, and wish you luck, and again, welcome to the Den!
The Brat Tamer...changing brats attitudes one smack at a time
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Meiho
New member
Username: Meiho
Post Number: 2
Registered: 05-2011
| | Posted on Friday, May 13, 2011 - 02:24 am: |
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Hi Zippo and MBottom,
thanks for your warm welcome and your kind words of advice. I am glad to have found some people I can share my thoughts with openly.
I think that I am extremely anxious about speaking to my husband about it because I am afraid that it could ruin our relationship. Thoughts like "what if he objects?" come to my mind and I do not want to raise a big problem when we have been married for just a couple of years (also we have a small baby).
Another thing I am hesitant to start on such a topic, perhaps because I am afraid that to him spanking means something completely different.. does that make any sense?
Apart from that, I am just a helpless case of utter shyness.. and my husband for his part is not very good at taking subtle hints. Just to give you guys an idea.. I was trying to turn him on, wiggling my bum on his lap, more or less getting in a spankable position and telling him how very naughty I was. It certainly got him aroused but instead of spanking me he just rushed through a quick foreplay so he would have sex. It was rather frustrating for me...
I guess I will have to think of less subtle hints even he can understand ...
thank you for your kind answers |
Mbottom
New member
Username: Mbottom
Post Number: 12
Registered: 04-2011
| | Posted on Friday, May 13, 2011 - 10:29 am: |
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I know how your feeling....I waited nearly 17 years before being completely honest with my husband!! Early into our marriage, when he was stationed in CA, he used to get Penthouse Letters....since we didnt communicate much, he would send me the magazine with highlighted stories he liked, and I would send him back the ones I liked...turns out, mine were all spanking related...He finally brought it up & I was way to shy and embarassed to have the conversation...we too had plenty of love pats & he even tried spanking me once and I guess it didnt feel right to him, he said he felt kind of stupid...So, I left my desires I craved unbelievably in my fantasies only...I too have always felt as if something was wrong with me, why would I have these feelings & why would they be so overpowering?? Where did they come from?? Little things were said over the years & an occasional spanking happened, but it wasnt what I needed it to be...I understand your frustration Oh too well!! But at least the Penthouse Letters was a way of opening the window to spanking, without saying it outloud...You can find many stories on the internet, including here, that you could print out and leave somewhere for him, or even email them to him....Just to see what he thinks....After a spanking a couple months ago, I decided it was time to be honest...I text him & told him I was going to send him an email about something sexual that I hadnt ever shared with anyone (because I am way to embarassed to talk to him face to face about it)...He was excited to get the email, but was thrilled that I would share so much information with him...We still send emails & texts back & forth....it has tremendously helped us with communication & letting each other know what it is we need & get from the spanking experience...& the emails are sooooo much a form of foreplay!! Everyone has to take things at their own pace....Maybe your husband is interested, just as mine was, but is scared you arent...Or is scared he will hurt you...After he knows you are interested in just 'trying' or 'experimenting' with it (because you dont have to share all of your feelings at first, just maybe tell him this is something you have read in a story and interested to try, I dont know many men that dont like to try a new sexual experience at least once), again; afterwards, the next day, email him & tell him how much you got from the experience, how much closer you feel to him, how you loved sharing such an intimate sexy spanking with him...Ask him what he thought...then slowly start telling him how you have always felt...Overwhelming him with everything at once might frighten him...I still feel this way, I emailed my husband yesterday & apologised because I feel as if I am suffocating him with my ideas, thoughts, and feelings...& I agree with Zippo, afterwards; do something sexual for him that you dont do very often, as if it is a gift of appreciation for what he has done for you...We are only 2 months into our sharing & it has done wonders for our sex life...bare in mind, that you have to know that the first several times he tries to spank you, things will not go perfectly...to say the least...lol. You may be left still feeling frustrated, or bruised for a week. But in the short amount of time we have been trying, my husband has come a LONG ways!! I hope I can be of some help, if you have any questions, feel free to ask!! Good Luck. :o) |
Zippo
Prime Spanko
Username: Zippo
Post Number: 1761
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Friday, May 13, 2011 - 11:19 am: |
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I can understand your hesitation about approaching the subject with your husband.
Your fear with "what if he objects", if he does, ask him the source of why he objects, for me, I had always had latent spanko tendencies, but never acted on them, because I was raised where men never hit a woman for any reason, and thoughts of hurting one I loved were paramount in my mind. She assured me, while yes, a spanking can hurt, it was something she truly desired and we employed a safeword, so I knew that I would not be pushing her past her tolerance.
Spanking can mean different things to different people. He may view it strictly as a means of punishment. Some may view it purely as a masochistic kink, Your reasoning for enjoying a spanking doesnt need to be valid to anyone but you. But try to gt your husband to understand that it is a desire for you.
As I stated before, good communication is so important. I highly doubt it would cause any irrepairable damage to your realtionship to discuss it with your husband. Maybe when you are lying in bed you could discuss 'fantasies' that you each would like to explore, which might make approaching the subject a bit easier.
(Message edited by zippo on May 13, 2011)
The Brat Tamer...changing brats attitudes one smack at a time
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Brandspankingnew
New member
Username: Brandspankingnew
Post Number: 8
Registered: 05-2011
| | Posted on Friday, May 13, 2011 - 11:45 am: |
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Mbottom and zippo are correct...but as outsiders we do not know ur hopefully soon to be spanko....if any male advice is needed ask me or Mbottom she can relay the msg. Again everyone is different but I'm sure ur hubbie would love to be allowed to release a days or weeks tension out on ur rear if u gave him permission.every day I get more and more from the discipline rendered in the bedroom. At first I really liked the thought of just a s&m type session but I am learning how much I truly benefit from M's bottom and how her opening up has lead to my own fears of openness about things I have been afraid to address...who knows what my be learking in ur husbands mind.....good luck and keep us posted.. |
Meiho
New member
Username: Meiho
Post Number: 3
Registered: 05-2011
| | Posted on Monday, May 16, 2011 - 03:06 pm: |
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Hi Guys,
well...what to say. Tonight I had my 'coming out'. I wrote my husband a letter. It is his birthday tomorrow so I thought it'd be a good idea to get this to him as sort of a 'new year new chance' thing. I told him that maybe we will be able to change some things and start talking about our desires (whenever I asked him what he would like - and I did everything - he was only like 'well I don't know do anything you want').. so basically very insecure somehow.
Now he read the letter and I made all fun of it before so he couldn't do so once he had read it. He said there was nothing to feel weird about, yet that was practically everything he said at all. He said there was nothing specific (like my 'big thing with spanking') which turned him on and therefore he couldn't tell me that much in return now.
I guess I am a bit anxious what will happen next. I am afraid that now he knows but then nothing will happen again. He is always such a strong and confident guy but it seems with those sex things (especially trying something new) he seems very hesitant and shy. I don't know, maybe he is afraid of doing something wrong?
He asked me why I hadn't told him before so in return I said that he never spoke to me about his desires either and he couldn't tell me why he didn't. So after all it is still an awkward situation.
I guess I should be happy that he took it so well. Maybe I expected him to react like this was a big deal.. dunno. So probably I have to let him digest everything for a while and see how he reacts next, or would that be all wrong again?
I would again appreciate your helpful comments :-) |
Mbottom
Spanko
Username: Mbottom
Post Number: 16
Registered: 04-2011
| | Posted on Monday, May 16, 2011 - 04:57 pm: |
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Hey there, glad to hear you wrote the letter....It is still best for me to communicate in the form of email or text to my husband, altho things are going a lot more open & smoothly...So, my question to you is, was the letter about many different sexual desires or just spanking?? If it was about many other things as well, and spanking just being one that you would like to try, he still may not understand just how much you feel the NEED for it...Do you see what I am saying?? My entire email was only about different aspects of spanking and what I need from it & I still left it with the fact that I dont know at this point how far this may need to go for me.....Im not saying you should go that far (as I knew my husband could handle it, I was just too scared & embarassed to say it), to scare him off.....but he does need to know it is something you have desired for a long time, that if it works out, good....but if it doesnt, at least he tried!! I would keep talking, or writing to him about sexual desires, even his, maybe if you talk more about his desires, he will think to look at yours too....I, personally, wouldnt give him more than a couple days to digest it, I would want to keep it fresh on his mind. Whatever you decide to do, Im sure will be best, because we dont personally know how your husband reacts to things...I hope all goes well....Keep us posted!! |
Zippo
Prime Spanko
Username: Zippo
Post Number: 1765
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, May 16, 2011 - 08:24 pm: |
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Congratulations, you have taken a big step in confessing your desire. I know it must have been difficult to do, but also has to feel liberating to have this out in the open.
Now that he knows and has at least accepted the 'concept' of your desires, you may still have to help him take a few more of the initial steps. You are entering some unchartered waters with him so to speak, so some awkwardness and insecurity is natural. As time progresses, things like shyness, embarrassment and hesitation should all start to fade, again...good communication.
I agree with Mbottom, that I wouldn't wait too long before pursuing the subject with him. Ask him what he thinks about it, does he have concerns? Share your needs and desires with him. Now may be the time to ask him to try a test spanking with you. Establish a safe word, and have him spank you until you use that word. This will give him an idea of the type of spanking you are seeking. Start off slow with moderate swats, you can always increase the intensity later once the both of you become more comfortable with it.
Reassure him that it is alright to talk about both of your needs, desires and concerns with each other, you are life partners, and there is no need to be shy about expressing your true feelings. Once he does give you that spanking, ask him how he felt about it, there is bound to be some level of discomfort, but him knowing that he is satisfying your needs should help alleviate that over time. Trying to convert a vanilla into a spanko is no easy task, it won't happen overnight. By taking small steps with him, it will allow him to grow more comfortable and confident, and before you know it, you could have a budding spanko on your hands 
The Brat Tamer...changing brats attitudes one smack at a time
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Meiho
New member
Username: Meiho
Post Number: 4
Registered: 05-2011
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 - 04:44 am: |
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Hi guys,
thank your for your kind words.
Mbottom, you asked about the letter I wrote to my husband. Well I wrote him that I think that we need to talk to each other more, especially about our sexual desires and that I would be happy to do anything for him as long as he would tell me. I told him that he could email me or write me a letter, give me clippings from magazines or maybe even send links from youporn and such to show me videoclips he liked... I think I was being very open about this issue. At least I tried.
I told him that my one big fantasy was getting spanked. I didn't speak about any other desires and to be honest, I don't really have any other. Of course there's stuff I like more than other, but to me spanking is "the" thing that turns me on.
Yesterday we didn't speak much at all anymore about it. It is driving me crazy that my husband is always so silent. You say that's what guys do but I think often he is taking that too far. Just to give you an idea... if I ask him an opinion I will get a one or two word answer (even if this wasn't a yes-no-question) and when I say that I'd like to speak about something that's usually what we do - I speak and he listens (more or less) but apart from an occasional nod (if at all) there's not much he contributes.
You shouldn't get the impression that we've got a lousy marriage, it's not like that. It's just that we have never really been speaking that much I guess. I thought that by starting to get him talk to me about something he gets a benefit from (his desires) I could get him used to talking to me more openly in the first place...
And along these lines I thought about setting up a first spanking session too. I think it would plainly overwhelm him if I said to him that I needed a spanking and he should just do it until I said stop. I am afraid that he would be embarrassed because it would feel awkward to him or he would laugh or whatever. So I thought maybe we could do it as some sort of extended forplay. I could tell him that by spanking me he'd turn me on and in return - once I would be aroused enough - I would do him, whatever way he liked...
I thought this way it wouldn't be too superficially set up and maybe we both could benefit from it.
I told him in this letter that I wasn't even sure if I liked it - after all I just imagined it for such a long time and maybe I realize once we do it that is is very different from what I wanted or expected - but at least I would like to try it with him I said.
Mbottom, maybe you would be willing to share something with me... what it is that turns you on about spanking?
For me it's difficult to say. I guess sometimes I feel like everything is overwhelming me and to be spanked means something like handing over some responsibility to someone who cares. It's hard to describe. I think since my husband is grown quite tall and strong (he's employed as a firefighter here) he was just my "type". I just enjoy the feeling of having someone very protective of you... it makes me feel special and loved.
Meiho |
Mbottom
Spanko
Username: Mbottom
Post Number: 19
Registered: 04-2011
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 - 10:05 am: |
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Meiho, I completely understand, I dont really have any other 'desires' either!! But I seem to be an expert on what I do want, when it comes to spanking...lol...I guess, when you harbor your feelings your entire life, you know what it is you like & become quite the expert!!
Some men are really quiet...I definately got lucky there, altho my husband says he doesnt know how to share what he is feeling, he is a talker...definately if you get a few drinks in him...Could that maybe work with your husband?? But, if he usually only answers your concerns or questions with one to two words, how do you get the gist of how he feels about normal things you discuss?? Some men are naturally just this way, I never got the impression you had a bad marriage!!
I know what you mean by 'maybe he would feel awkward or embarassed'....we actually went thru this when we were very young...we got married when we were 18!! It does take a lot, for someone who wasnt born with this gene (so to speak) to imagine why we would want to endure such an act...Your honesty with him, about how deep your desire goes, how long you have had it, the thought of it turns you on, how often it takes over your fantasies....(for me), it was a daily thought, hearing it mentioned on tv or reading about it in books was a turn on, just the word 'spanking' was such a turn on it was embarassing, so much so that I couldnt bring myself to say it...still cant!! I never used to have sexual fantasies without spanking being a main part of it!! I cant explain why..... But for my husband, once he understood how it consumes me, he wanted to be a part of it, to make me happy... Which now, he is out of control...lol...he could never go back to life without it.(Not only is it a turn on he benefits from, but he feels he gets to release some of his daily frustration out) In our home, it is used as erotic foreplay...It always takes place before we have sex...Since it is such a turn on & that it gets you going even more than normal...
After our first session (once we communicated), he understood right away what the benefits were, for both of us...He was able to do things sexually, things that we did, but werent a norm in our bedroom, things he enjoys & looks forward too...& he says he feels a closeness between us (we are close anyway) but, this was a much deeper emotional closeness of trust, security and respect...
Do you feel as if maybe you wont like it, once done? I was obsessed with it for so long, that thought never crossed my mind, until my first spanking (15 yrs ago)...I was so extremely turned on by everything, until the pain, then I was like..."What was I thinking"...till afterwards, when the flood of emotions hits you and your bottom is still tingling & warm...Then my thoughts were, "It was totally worth every second". 
It is def difficult to explain why (each to his own) likes spanking...I am willing to share whatever may be helpful for you, I wish someone could have answered my questions or concerns at ur stage of the game...it would have made things easier for sure!! It has always turned me on, I dunno why, it just has!! I dont get turned on by role play, such as cheerleader & coach...It just makes me feel silly...But I do like it when my husband tells me what to wear, even if it was a cheer costume, because his dominance is a major turn on...him being in control!! For me, it has to be my husband spanking me for something that I have done to upset or let him down (not for real, no issues we really have problems with or argue about), but the feeling of it being for real has to be there for me...The elements I need & desire about spanking is: When he tells me Ive crossed the line (even in a text); that I have earned a spanking that I will recieve after we have put the kids to bed; telling me what panties, pants, etc that I need to be wearing after I wash up for the night; When he tells me he loves me very much and how he hates to have to punish me, but it needs to be done so that I can learn from my mistakes; How he lovingly asks me to position myself over his knee as he gently pulls me down and runs his fingers thru my hair; How he rubs my bottom during the breaks he gives me in the session, sometimes even leans down to kiss the soreness; How (if he chooses to use an implement) he tells me that he is sorry, but I will be recieving a certain # of swats with the paddle and I should be ready; How sometimes (but always after) he incorporates rubbing lotion on my red behind...The cuddling and talking after we have finished, including sex that follows, when he says how much he loves me and thats why he has to administer such punishments.....OMG....It is such a closeness, I cannot explain.....I NEED the pain element (after the warmup); I need to feel & push thru whatever pain I can handle to give me the feeling I need during & after....Let me say tho, that things dont always go so smoothly!! We never had a safe word, simply because I didnt want a word that I could use to get out of the spanking, because I feel that it gives me control over my punishment & I dont want that...So, he has gotten out of control a few times (I was never seriously hurt or anything), but had to stop the session...So please communicate!! & maybe establish a safe word for your sessions....Tell him what you like and dislike...I have to have a good warm up, I dont like the 'thud' feeling, I search for implements that give more of a sting...& I made sure that he knew that implements hurt more than his hand and he needed to be careful of how they are used!! If he is using a belt, I let him know during that it nipped my side for example...That when you use things that go across the entire behind, they tend to land on the cheek furthest from them, so as to make sure one side isnt in a tremendous amount of pain...lol...It all helps him, in order to master his technique & saves me some discomfort I dont want...& yes, even the next day when I have the soreness to remind me of what has happened, I feel protected, special, and completely loved; as does he!! This is what has brought us soooo much closer than I thought was possible, because we were already close!! I understand to the regular 'vanilla' person, these things dont make any sense....but to us spankos, it is perfectly normal & a lot of us share different aspects of what we need...whether it is psychological or pain/pleasure...I am just as thankful for this forum, for being able to finally voice my desires and have a place my husband (the newbie that he is)come to ask questions...I am hoping for you, that things progress where you can feel your desires also!! Good Luck & I will gladly try to help if I can. |
Meiho
New member
Username: Meiho
Post Number: 5
Registered: 05-2011
| | Posted on Monday, May 30, 2011 - 02:39 am: |
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Hi everybody,
It's been a while since I last posted and things have been difficult here, but slowly improving. Finally I find the time to write a couple of lines to you who encouraged me and helped me along until now.
After I had written my husband this coming out letter, I was very disappointed that nothing really happened. Worst of all - I hope that none of you ever gets this - an in for the Bad Timing Award - I had an anal thrombose, basically some problem with hemmorhoids. What a stupid timing... my husband said he wanted to wait until this problem was gone until we proceeded, so I waited. It took about a week until everything was fine again but then again, nothing really happened from his side.
A couple of days ago we had planned our evening to have sex as soon as our kid was put to bed but I guess my expectations were too high. I was so eager on getting spanked that I was quite impatient and my husband on the other side did nothing whatsoever. It was so aggravating, especially since I had told him what I wanted! So finally I asked him why he wasn't doing anything of that sort although I had told him what I liked and we got into a fight about me ruining this evening for him. He said he had planned it and would have come to that eventually while I tried to explain that could have plainly said so before. Probably all the bottoms of you will understand me when I say to wait when you don't know if a spanking will happen or to receive just some love pats is worse than not getting one at all.
Needless to say, the evening was ruined and we were both very, very frustrated. I thought that I had ruined it all by now and was also unhappy as I thought that my husband was overreacting... well... we agreed to forget about that evening and try again later.
Yesterday we had another go and while I gave him a blowjob he started to spank me. It was just some occasional swats and they were not really hard to be honest, but I was happy that he tried and I didn't comment. I think that he will eventually get the hang of what I like and don't, at least I hope so.
On a side note... he never told me that he was into spanking or any of the like, but by the way he was spanking and flicking his hand, I don't know, I got the impression that he had either seen it in a porn film before or had done some serious thinking prior to that evening. Whatever way, it was quite a unique experience, especially since I had feared that I had ruined it all with some freakish desires.
I think the first step is taken and just as I need to learn to be patient he needs to learn what I like or don't like. You guys helped me a lot in this very difficult initial time, so thanks for that :-) |
Zippo
Prime Spanko
Username: Zippo
Post Number: 1769
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 31, 2011 - 09:36 pm: |
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Good to hear you have taken that 1st step. Don't forget, he's not a mind reader, let him know what you liked about the spanking, and give him some suggestions for next time. At least you know he is willing to try, it will take some time before you find your comfort zones.
I wish you all the luck!
The Brat Tamer...changing brats attitudes one smack at a time
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Mbottom
Spanko
Username: Mbottom
Post Number: 31
Registered: 04-2011
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 01, 2011 - 09:08 am: |
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Meiho, as a 'bottom', I do completely understand about waiting & maybe not getting what you wanted or expected & how that seems to be more disappointing that getting nothing at all!! Ur right, it is something I am sure we all go through at some point...
I am sorry your night was ruined....That has happened to us a few times.....altho, it only ruins it for half hour or so, as we talk thru it, even tho we are both frustrated or upset at the time....We still end up coming together....Im sure it is upsetting to your husband that he isnt sure how to go about doing things the way he needs to to make you fulfilled, he is probably a bit intimidated and possibly scared....I have found that men dont want to do things the wrong way, especially in the bedroom, they feel it as a let down to themselves, as well as us.....They worry way more than we do about things, so just make sure that you give him feedback on what did happen, so he knows you noticed and what he can do to improve....I have read several times, including Zippo above, that they are not mind readers and need to have some direction in how to improve or tell them how great they are doing....they respond well to positive feedback as well....You have to let him know if you need more & maybe how to go about getting there....At the beginning (& even still sometimes), I will send an email to my hubby the day after a session to tell him my likes/dislikes about it....It really does help both of us with making things what we want them to be...(Remember, my hubby never told me he was 'into' spanking either)....but most men want to make sure their women are satisfied, so to speak, or they dont feel as if they have done their job correctly....They are way harder on themselves than we could ever be....It wouldnt surprise me if he hadnt done some research. That is one reason my hubby & I are on this forum, so that he can soak in some information, and there is a ton of it here!! & so we can openly communicate on the subject together....
Just make sure you keep the lines of communication open, it really does make a world of a difference!!
Good Luck, hope things keep progressing for ya. |
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