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Babyj4
New member
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 1
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, September 11, 2005 - 12:56 pm: | 
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I love my husband and I know he loves me. I have only been spanked twice by him that wasn't a playful spanking. I know that I can be a brat and often deserve a good spanking from him, and for some time now I have longed for him to spank me when I have been awful to him, but he says he doesn't want to hurt me. I want him to spank me hard and long enough to cry out my feelings, but he doesn't want to make me cry. What should I do?}}}} |
Kiwi_man
Spanko
Username: Kiwi_man
Post Number: 238
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, September 11, 2005 - 05:33 pm: |
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tell him he's hurting you more by not spanking you than spanking you,that you need to resolve certain situations this way and clear your slate. |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 479
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, September 11, 2005 - 10:19 pm: |
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Baby, perhaps you could print out some stories that appeal to you, highlight the parts you like the most and give them to him to read?
Communication is so important when asking for a change in any relationship. Your hubby needs to know that even though he may make you cry, the release of stress is no different than if you were watching a tearjerker on tv. You will feel better afterwards, be a happier person and be able to feel better in your dealings with him.
Good luck. 
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
ISN'T IT OCTOBER YET? *pout*
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Babyj4
New member
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 3
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, September 11, 2005 - 10:24 pm: |
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Well I told him what I wanted and needed, and he did spank me, but the moment I Started to wimper, not cry just wimper he stopped, moments later my bottom did not even hurt any more. He is a big strong man, and I know he could do worse, but every time he stops. I got worse as a child, and I have had 2 kids since then and have a high pain tollerance. I just wish he would get mad enough to take me over his knee and spank me good and hard. |
Babyj4
New member
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 4
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, September 11, 2005 - 10:29 pm: |
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the story thing I've tried, but he can't seem to make up his mind. He loves spanking me durring sex, but I think he is afraid to hurt me. He keeps telling me we'll see when I ask about it. The longer he makes me wait the more anctious I get about it. |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 480
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, September 12, 2005 - 10:16 am: |
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One thing I have learned is that the harder you push a man who is afraid of hurting you, the more resistant he will become. Back off a bit and let him think things over. I understand that this is something you want badly, but you cant pressure him into making you cry.
Perhaps if he were to use something like a hairbrush (ouch!) he could bring you to the point of tears quicker and it needn't be such a long, drawn out affair? Just be sure to get a warm up first so he wont bruise you by accident.
And please stop wishing he would "get mad" and spank you hard...you never want to be spanked in anger. He would end up hurting you more than you wanted, and hate himself afterwards. A disciplinary or stress relief spanking should be something he does with a clear mind, because he wants to and because you need it. 
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
ISN'T IT OCTOBER YET? *pout*
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Rocco
Advanced Spanko
Username: Rocco
Post Number: 545
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, September 12, 2005 - 11:17 am: |
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I have to agree with Wolfie here. Mad is not a state you want your husband to be in when he spankes you. Anger will blur the lines between what you want and how he can do that for you. Remember, communication is very important here. It would be better to allow him the time he needs to understand what it is you are after and come to it on his own comfort level.
Another thing to think about that a lot of non-spankos, I think, don't understand is the idea of a spanking hurting. Yes, by their very nature a spanking does cause some discomfort and pain. But to a spanko it's a hurt that is longed for, needed even. It is quite different then say hitting your thumb with a hammer or dropping something on your foot. Those things HURT. A spanking is an avenue to the best types of feelings. Perhaps explaning this in your own words or from your own point of view will help your husband reach his own comfort level.
(Message edited by rocco on September 12, 2005)
Nothing says I love you like a spanking
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Babyj4
New member
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 13
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, September 12, 2005 - 11:36 am: |
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Rocco, thanks for the advice, I'll try that. It's not that I want him mad, I guess I mean I do not understand why he allows me to be mean to him. I don't do it on purpose, but I am often out of line with him.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Rocco
Advanced Spanko
Username: Rocco
Post Number: 547
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, September 12, 2005 - 11:57 am: |
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I understand what you are saying and what you mean. And what it all comes down to is communication. Have a real upfront talk with him, which I know can be very hard, and then let him sit with it. Give him some time, try not to push your need on him for a while. With time to absorb what you've shared and no pressure to spank you right away, I think he'll come around and will WANT to give you waht you've asked for because he loves you. Best of luck.
Nothing says I love you like a spanking
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Babyj4
New member
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 24
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 13, 2005 - 07:34 am: |
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Rocco, great advice, I hope you are right. Although I have never been good at waiting for something I deseratly want. I useually through a tantrum till I get it. You know thats what a true brat would do. Though I will try hard.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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