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Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 248
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, October 01, 2005 - 01:54 pm: | 
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I am happily sitting coutiosly today on top of pillows. When I first came to the den I was informed that my husband was a vanilla. I never gave up hope and did loads of research and talking with my husband, thursday night we had a talk and he said that he was willing to give it a shot if it would help things. Well yesturday I was in one of my moods, and I was a total brat, and wouldn't stop. After our kids went to bed he called me into the bedroom. We laid down together and he said that I was not getting any attention that night cause I couldn't behave that day. Well I had a fit, I yelled and through a tantrum, he layed there ignoring me, I stopped and layed down and mumbled under my breath, though load enough for him to hear. "fuck you, I know you would go back on your word." Well then he got up from the bed and I thought he was leaving the room and he with a stern voice said "get up!" Shocked I turned and looked at him. then he said " I said get up now!" the look on his face blew me away, with out a word I stood up and just looked at him boy was I scared, I didn't believe he'd do it, I was wrong. Then he said,"panties off" still shocked I just froze, "NOW!" he said, I jumped but did as he asked, then He pointed to the bed,"bend over young lady" I did as I was told, he spanked me with his hand about 15 swats I was wimpering, and he stopped, I thought it was over, but didn't move from shock, the I heard the dresser drawer open, and his belt being pulled out. The only thing I could think was oh shit, I had really messed up this time. He proceeded to spank me with the belt, my knees bent after the 2nd hit, and he said,"straighten your leggs now." not wanting to upset him any more I did as I was told, after about 5 more belts I cryed out"I am sorry!" he stopped and told me to lay on the bed. I cryed my eyes out into the pillow, it didn't really hurt my bottom, but I felt so bad for what I'd done. He held me and calmed me down, I told him I was sorry I'd missbehaived, and he said he forgave me. After a while I told him that I could have taken more, that I deserved more, he said ok he'd remember that next time. We had wonderful make up sex, and then we talked some more. We decided to use a safe word, so that the spanking would last longer next time. So to all you brats, don't give up hope, just educate them as well as yourself a lot more, and things should work out. the funny thing is i asked him if it hurt him to spank me this time, and he said not that much, about that time I realized he had gotten a stiffy from it. Just goes to show, you never know whats going to happen.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 525
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, October 01, 2005 - 02:49 pm: |
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Good for you Baby, I'm so happy for you! All it took was some patience and a whole lot of communication, right?
Way to go! 
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
IT'S OCTOBER!!!
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Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 267
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, October 01, 2005 - 03:23 pm: |
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that and I think I pushed him over the edge yesturday with my attitude and stuff. Cant blam him I am hard to handle *lol*
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Ftopinmichigan
New member
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 9
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 02, 2005 - 12:38 am: |
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Babyj, I so love these types of real life stories, especially with the happy endings.
I'm pleased to hear you finally got what you desired  AND deserved 
K |
Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 322
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 02, 2005 - 09:33 am: |
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yah , it's about time and after last night too I think I'll be behaving for a while.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Smartnnaughty
Spanko
Username: Smartnnaughty
Post Number: 295
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 02, 2005 - 10:53 am: |
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Spanking does have some wonderful effects. I told my new bf about spanking and he never knew he was a full fledged spanko. Erotic spanking turns him on and turns him hard. Lots of fun for both of us.
We are starting to do discipline spankings. I'm not much of a brat but I do things than I shouldn't. The first one was last weekend and he stopped when he saw I was starting to bruise.
The one yesterday (yes, my butt is black and blue) was much harder. He was determined to make me cry but I didn't until it was over. The discipline spankings are not pleasant for either of us but the closeness and intimacy after it is over is out of this world.
I am so happy today and glad to be sore since I know I have paid for my poor choices!
I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once.
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Ziggy
Spanko
Username: Ziggy
Post Number: 485
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 02, 2005 - 11:24 am: |
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I am so happy for you baby, I am going to do that when my hubbie comes home, you see my hubbie is on the road for 21 days a month. so when he gets home he is really tired, I think that would be a good time to be a really nasty brat.  good for you baby |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 534
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 02, 2005 - 11:46 am: |
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I am glad that things have worked out for Baby, but I still think acting like a total brat in the hopes of getting a serious spanking, is the wrong way to go about it. You have as much chance of alienating your hubby as you do of getting a spanking you will like.
Baby got lucky this time...I wouldnt count on it working for everyone.
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
IT'S OCTOBER!!!
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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 379
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 02, 2005 - 03:58 pm: |
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I have to agree with Wolfie on this one. I've heard of that tactic backfiring much more often than working. Even if you get what you want one time, the other partner can end up feeling resentful because they felt pushed into doing something they weren't ready for.
One couple I knew, the wife was a spanko and the husband a vanilla, had terrible problems with this type of situation. She'd act out until he would spank her which made her happy but he'd be at his wit's end. He was confused because he thought the spankings were supposed to help her control her behavior but it was just the opposite. She just got brattier and brattier because she liked the way he'd take control and spank her. He finally gave up completely and even some months later, he doesn't even like discussing the subject because it was a total failure in his eyes.
Communication is the key, folks. You've got to be clear about what you want and tell that person in very uncertain terms what your needs and desires are. It's not easy and it can be embarrasing. But what's that compared with hiding your most burning desires?
If someone's not a spanko, they have to be given very clear signs of what you want. They haven't lived with this desire and all the different aspects of it. They don't know our fantasies unless we tell them. They're not mindreaders, they're vanillas who don't have a clue about the spanko mind.
Tactics that work? Sitting that person down and telling him/her what it is you dream of. If you can't face him when you do it, write it down and be there to answer questions when he's ready. Show him sites that are similar to your desires. But take it easy and don't overload him.
Dont' be surprised if you met resistance or disbelief. You've been hiding something from someone who trusted you and thought they knew you. Put yourself in his shoes - what if he sprung something like this on you? Especially when it becomes clear how much this means to you.
And this is just the beginning! There's still much negotiation and discussion to follow no matter how things work out. Even if he's a tiny bit kinky, you'll still have to do some directing.
One couple I know, uses a tally sheet so he'll know when she needs a spanking. She keeps a score sheet tacked to the door of their bedroom closet where he'll see it every day. They both make marks according to her misdeeds and take care of it when time allows. Some days, she gets in a funk and instead of telling him she's in need of a spanking, she just goes and makes several marks on her tally sheet, in red if she's in a bad funk, and that way he knows that she's in need.
It may not be spontaneous, but it works for them. He admitted he couldn't react the way she wanted. If she was being bratty, his first inclination was to be concerned and try to be affectionate with her. That just made her feel worse. Now she admits although it's not as she fantasized, in many ways it's better because it's their solution - not just hers.
We're all different and there's no one fix-all solution. I've got a great spanko man now, but it wasn't always that way. I've dealt with a couple of non-spankos including one I couldn't convert no matter what I tried. He was kinky, just not my kind of kinky. See, it even happens to the spankiest of us. Man, I'm so grateful to have Dan!
Okay, I'm getting off of my soapbox now. Good luck to those trying to convert and don't be afraid to ask for help. I can come up with some interesting ideas when I want to. |
Alittlenaughty
New member
Username: Alittlenaughty
Post Number: 3
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 02, 2005 - 04:24 pm: |
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Wow what wonderful advice! I was going to post a question to the group about how to approach my husband with my desire to be spanked and to ask how they got their desires across. I have to agree that I don't think being a brat would work if he didn't know what I want and why I wanted it. I know we both like it when he smacks my bottom during sex so now I have some ideas on how to let him know that I want more. We shall see. |
Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 324
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 02, 2005 - 07:01 pm: |
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I didn't push him I just informed him sbout it and explained why I thought we should do DD, it's not that I go out of my way to be a brat either, I just can't seem to behaive. He in the past has ended up angry with me for a long time, this way when I act up I am punished and we forgive each other. It works for us, he was just uninformed is all.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 327
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 03, 2005 - 07:48 am: |
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Bethie I do like the tally chart idea, it sounds like it could be useful. Just to let you know, he doesn't feel at his wit's end, he told me this morning that he could see an improvement in me already. After this weekend I think I am really going to try hard to listen and behave, and I did do what you mentioned I really talked with him and was explicite on exactly what I wanted. He thinks it's a good idea, and he's not a complete vanilla, he's enjoyed intamate spankings for a long time now. He agree's that this is a good solution to our problems, and trust me he makes sure that a punishment is not enjoyed, they aren't suppose to be. Yesturday when he told me I was in trouble I started crying before the spanking even started, needless to say after 15 swats I'd had enough and asked him to stop, he ended up giving me 5 more to reinforce his point. I am going to be on my best behavior for as long as I can.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Hunnybunny
Spanko
Username: Hunnybunny
Post Number: 393
Registered: 07-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 03, 2005 - 09:06 pm: |
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Wow good job! I wish I could have converted my last boyfriend! Good luck!
The best way to behave is not to
-Abercrombie & Fitch
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Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 415
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 03, 2005 - 09:23 pm: |
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All I can say is try your best to inform your new one about spanking as much as you can. It took a lot of research on my part, and I had to be honest with my needs and wants with him, and there's no turning back now
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Hunnybunny
Spanko
Username: Hunnybunny
Post Number: 406
Registered: 07-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 03, 2005 - 09:29 pm: |
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I think I will try that with my new boyfriend in a few weeks when we feel more comfortable together. I do think he is into it though cause he is always giving me playful swats and telling me to watch out! So I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
The best way to behave is not to
-Abercrombie & Fitch
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Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 417
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 03, 2005 - 09:33 pm: |
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I'll cross mine for you as well, and that is a pritty good sign, I think that it worked for me cause he did the same thing. another indication that keeped my hopes up was he's always said the 1st thing that attracted him to me was my nice round bottom.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Hunnybunny
Spanko
Username: Hunnybunny
Post Number: 415
Registered: 07-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 03, 2005 - 09:43 pm: |
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I always find him looking at my butt and on occasion he says things like "I can't believe I got the girl with the best butt"
The best way to behave is not to
-Abercrombie & Fitch
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Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 424
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 03, 2005 - 09:49 pm: |
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next time you are being your bratty self around him dare him to spank you, you never know he may do it.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Hunnybunny
Spanko
Username: Hunnybunny
Post Number: 424
Registered: 07-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 03, 2005 - 09:52 pm: |
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I'll try that! Thanks Babyj!
The best way to behave is not to
-Abercrombie & Fitch
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Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 433
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 03, 2005 - 10:08 pm: |
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your welcome, good luck. I had the courage to tell him because I know no matter what we will always be together, so I wish you the best of luck, he might be your guy.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Hunnybunny
Spanko
Username: Hunnybunny
Post Number: 471
Registered: 07-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 - 12:23 am: |
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Yeah your lucky!
The best way to behave is not to
-Abercrombie & Fitch
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Babyj4
Advanced Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 511
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 - 01:33 am: |
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I know I am, but don't give up, happyness is in your future too.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Hunnybunny
Spanko
Username: Hunnybunny
Post Number: 479
Registered: 07-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 - 06:36 am: |
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He gave me one really hard swat today before he left for work! He told me that I was being WAY too bratty and that we would talk later!
The best way to behave is not to
-Abercrombie & Fitch
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Hunnybunny
Spanko
Username: Hunnybunny
Post Number: 484
Registered: 07-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 - 06:57 am: |
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I hope our "talk" will leave me very sore!
The best way to behave is not to
-Abercrombie & Fitch
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Babyj4
Advanced Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 518
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 - 11:52 am: |
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I hope so too. Have you mentioned spanking to him yet?
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Pagan
Spanko
Username: Pagan
Post Number: 132
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 - 01:14 pm: |
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Sigh...I hate to be the one to do it...but I'm here as the voice of reason.
Baby, I'm happy that he gave you the spanking you were hoping for. I just wouldn't get your hopes up that he's 'converted'. One spanking does not a Top make.
I came out to my husband about 2 1/2 years ago. We've come a long way, but it's been due to time, patience, and communication.
You and your hubby may grow into the kind of spanking relationship that you want. But it isn't usually a flip the switch thing. Aha! They've got it.
It takes time to determine what the boundaries are going to be...what you're both comfortable with...what role spanking is going to play in your relationship. And once you've gotten it all figured out, one of you will decide that maybe you want a bit more or less, and it will need to be done again. And that's fine. It's normal, healthy...hey, it's life.
If your partner is really a vanilla, no matter how often he spanks you, it's not going to have the same kind of importance to him that it does to you.
When my partner gets stressed and tired, spanking goes out the window. To him, it's play, and he doesn't feel like playing when life is that hectic. Then it's my job to slow things down, help him relax, and let him think that this was all his idea in the first place.
I'm glad you're happy. I just don't want you to be disappointed when he doesn't respond the way you'd like to something.
Just as I don't believe in 'love at first sight' (lust at first sight, yes), or 'happily ever after', I don't believe in instant vanilla conversions.
Either he was a latent spanko to begin with, in which case you sometimes end up with more than you bargained for, or he ends up being a vanilla who sometimes gives you what you want. But you can't make a vanilla a spanko.
My hubby used to be offended when I called him a vanilla, because he took it to mean prude. He spanks me fairly regularly (once or twice a week), and I don't need to ask...but the tape doesn't play in his head. He does it because he knows how much I love it. I don't believe he gets that I NEED it.
Still, when I sat him down and explained what it was like to live with this as part of me my whole life...and how it's always there...he said, "You're right. I'm not a spanko. I'm a vanilla." A vanilla who plays...a vanilla who comes to spanking conferences with me...but still a vanilla.
Just don't be upset if your hubby doesn't follow your script.  It takes time to figure out how you both feel about the reality of this, once the novelty wears off. |
Babyj4
Advanced Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 539
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 - 01:23 pm: |
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it wasn't instant, I started a few years ago with erotic spankings, witch he loves, just recently we started punishment too. I really hope it doesn't back fire, from all our talks about it so far he seems to be likeing the idea now, unless he's lieing to me. And I am sorry you don't believe in love at first sight, cause I do 7 years ago it happened to me, and no it wasn't lust, I was 15 and that wasn't even on my mind at the time.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Babyj4
Advanced Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 543
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 - 01:38 pm: |
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Well Pagan perhaps he is a spanko in descuise, because he really gets into it when he spanks me. When it is discipline, he is so calm, and like I said before some where in a blog, friday he got such an ejection from spanking me, the sex was better than we've ever had. I don't think he is as into it as me, but he clearly enjoys himself.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Pagan
Spanko
Username: Pagan
Post Number: 134
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 04, 2005 - 03:12 pm: |
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If you've been doing erotic spanking for awhile, and he finds that arousing, then he may be a spanko who is just new to discipline.
Mine is a real vanilla, who is happy to play.
Different beasts, both can be wonderful.
What do you think he enjoyed or found arousing about punishing you? |
Hunnybunny
Advanced Spanko
Username: Hunnybunny
Post Number: 505
Registered: 07-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 - 06:55 am: |
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I was wrong. He just talked. He did give me a few hard swats though. I think he thinks I'm not into it. Maybe I'll tell him tonight!
The best way to behave is not to
-Abercrombie & Fitch
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Babyj4
Advanced Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 558
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 - 09:53 am: |
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Well Pagan I would have to say probably my response to it, and he's always had a fasination with my but, ever since we 1st met.
Hunnybunny- Sorry you were disapointed, but I think you should tell him how you feel about it, if you don't then he will never know. He could be into it as much as you, but is afraid to bring it up. good luck.
I think Greg might be a spanko, new to discipline.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 551
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 05, 2005 - 11:51 am: |
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Hunny, if your embarrassed to tell him you could print out a story you like and give it to him to read.
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
IT'S OCTOBER!!!
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Hunnybunny
Advanced Spanko
Username: Hunnybunny
Post Number: 606
Registered: 07-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 09, 2005 - 10:51 am: |
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Never mind he is into it!
The best way to behave is not to
-Abercrombie & Fitch
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Babyj4
Advanced Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 713
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 09, 2005 - 11:13 am: |
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congrads Hb, be safe.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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