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Message |
    
Kendra
New member
Username: Kendra
Post Number: 4
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, April 28, 2005 - 01:00 am: | 
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I was wondering if anyone has heard about them and can give me some more information. I have heard that a "breaking" is when you are spanked to tears strictly for the purpose of emotional release. I have also heard them called stress relief, but I am picturing in my mind stress relief and emotional release as two different things. Maybe you guys can help me answer this question so I can have a better understanding of this. Thanx,
Kryssi |
Dan
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Dan
Post Number: 4
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, April 28, 2005 - 01:05 am: |
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Breaking? I thought that was something you did to a wild horse!
Seriously, Kryssi, I've never heard of this. I've spanked Bethie to tears a few times, but usually it suprises me when she starts crying. It's also usually a *good* thing for her. But I don't normally set out to make her cry -- usually she's having far too much fun for tears ever to come up. |
Kendra
New member
Username: Kendra
Post Number: 7
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, April 28, 2005 - 01:17 am: |
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I don't normally cry either, but I guess that is because whenever I am spanked it usually turns into something sexual. Even if it's for discipline.. which is kinda confusing to me, but, I'll get over it  |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 38
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, April 28, 2005 - 01:39 am: |
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Kryssi, sometimes I get stressed out or bottle up emotions for various reasons. That usually makes me kinda grumpy and Dan usually notices and says I just need a good spanking.
He's right, of course. When I'm stressed out it affects me emotionally. Everything gets on my nerves and my emotions are all out of whack. Something that would normally not bother me at all suddenly makes me want to scream or cry.
Sometimes I need a spanking from this man who loves me so much and cares how I'm feeling. He sees the stress and whether he realizes it or not, he has the best method of helping me release it.
I may not even want the spanking because I'm usually all prickly and grumpy. But once he starts, I know it's what I need. I let the pain get to me. It still feels good but when I'm out of sorts like that, I take it more personally.
It helps if Dan reminds me of how grumpy and out of sorts I've been. I'll start to feel bad for being hard to get along with. Then I'll start thinking about how much I love Dan and how good he is to me and then I feel really bad for being a pain. It sort of pushes me over the edge and I go through a lof of emotions. I eventually let them take over and when it overwhelms me, I start crying.
Once I start crying, I realize I need a good cry as much as a good spanking. It's such a great feeling! I let all those bad emotions out while I'm getting the spanking I need. It's very therapeutic for me.
It's a stress reliever and emotional stabalizer for me. I think when my stress levels rise, it throws me emotionally off kilter. I don't know why, but that's how it is for me.
I hope this helps you understand. I've never heard it called "breaking" though. I prefer to call them therapeutic spankings just because I like the sound of it. |
Kendra
New member
Username: Kendra
Post Number: 10
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, April 28, 2005 - 02:12 am: |
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That is exactly what I pictured it being, but it never seems to work like that for me. Because I have a hard time letting my emotions overwhelm me. I like the term Therapeutic spankings, it makes it sound less violent I guess. I don't know, breaking and spanking just don't sound right in the same sentence :P (Unless you are being spanked for breaking something.. :P ) |
Headteddy
New member
Username: Headteddy
Post Number: 6
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, April 28, 2005 - 07:44 am: |
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I think the term "breaking" refers to breaking the will of the spankee. That certainly has some negative connotations.
Theraputic is better. I for one never want Teddette's will to be broken-I want her bratty, bright, sassy, pouty, loud and laughing.  A smart a** with a smarting a**!
Off to give four final exams. See all tonight.
Enjoy
Howard
As well as |
Wolfie
New member
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 9
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, April 28, 2005 - 12:18 pm: |
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A breaking spanking is very different from a stress relief spanking or a therapeutic one. I had it explained to me today, and I think I'll let him explain it here as well. It has nothing to do with breaking someones spirit, but more to do with breaking down emotional walls. |
Beachley
New member
Username: Beachley
Post Number: 3
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, April 28, 2005 - 02:16 pm: |
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Shoot I'm running to catch a plane. Wolfie you can tell me what it is over the phone as I'll not have computer access for a few days. I assume you mean Darwins knows which does not surprise me at all.  Although I would have thought it would be the same as Therapeutic or stress relief. This should be interesting. |
Headteddy
New member
Username: Headteddy
Post Number: 7
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, April 28, 2005 - 04:00 pm: |
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Thanks Wolfie! Glad to be wrong. Will be interested in explanation. |
Listener
New member
Username: Listener
Post Number: 2
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, April 29, 2005 - 09:16 am: |
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There is a girl that I have been known to phone-spank from time to time. She is spanked so infrequently that she needs to be pushed to tears every time. I always ask her how far she needs to go, and that is invariably her answer.
We don't usually have a lot of time to talk after the spanking -- mostly because after taking it like a good girl she needs a reward, and that takes up the rest of our time -- but I'm guessing she enjoys it because she not only gets it so infrequently but also because there are no strings attached to it. She can let out all her frustration and all her anger and all her "negative" emotions (although I don't think any emotion can be truly negative; it's all in what you do with said emotion) and, at the end, she's relieved.
And turned on, but I think that's another story altogether. |
Billbo
New member
Username: Billbo
Post Number: 1
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, April 29, 2005 - 01:05 pm: |
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I don't like the term breaking, but I will spank my sub to tears. This is done to show her that I can. This allows her to release pend up emotions. On the average when my sub gets spanked she receives about 200. Yes, she is sore and very red, but her mood changes and she is enjoyable to be around. It maybe just my way of thinking, but if she doesn't receive at least 200 swats its not really a spanking. |
Darwins
New member
Username: Darwins
Post Number: 3
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, April 29, 2005 - 03:28 pm: |
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Wolfie and I had a discussion about this, and it took a long time to explain it to her in such a way as it made sense, and did not sound quite so brutal as it first appeared. Whether I can be successful here in print so to speak is debateable, so where necessary please read between the lines and try not to take the explanation too literally.
The term breaking is both the right and wrong phrase to use but it probably is the most accurate. It does not relate to breaking spirits, but to breaking down barriers or walls.
It seems that for certain people the ability to deal with hurtful or stressful things, breaks away from the considered norm. Where as most people might react with anger, tears or even violence of word or deed, these do not. It often occurs where there has been some sort of tragedy or serious problem, where all around is collapsing and that person must be strong for others. This means that their personal grief has to be suppressed and internalised in order for them to help others. This over time becomes a habit – especially if she/he is always seen to be the ‘strong one’
Thus a wall gets created inside and the ability to simply let go and release the pent up emotions is almost lost. You know its there, and you want to use it but you just can’t. I suppose a rather basic analogy would be to do with the toilet. You need to go but you don’t, you put off the chance to go when you can, and eventually you wind up constipated and can’t go without some form of help.
The spanking is the form of help in this situation.
It is not a namby pamby play spanking, it is hard – usually very hard. It is not for the pleasure of either participant, and its sole job is to bring tears as quickly as possible. The hope is (and it is a hope) that when the pain is sufficient to break through to produce tears the tears themselves will form a tidal wave of emotions that will breach the walls that have been built and drag out all those repressed emotions.
When the sound of crying changes to deep heartrending sobs you know you have succeeded. That is when you grab them and hang on tight until they have sobbed their heart out. It is both an awful and a wonderful thing to do, awful in the need to spank probably far harder than you would ever contemplate doing normally, and wonderful in the peace and tranquillity that you see in their eyes.
Its not for everyone, and not everyone can be hard enough to do it, because sometimes it IS hard to do. But you do realise three things, one, how desperate the person must be to want this, two how hard it must have been to ask for it and three, how much trust they must place in you. That last part is quite humbling.
I don’t know if this is getting over what I’m trying to say, I hope so. It is sometimes very hard getting over on paper those things that you just know to be true because you have experienced them. |
Simplekindoflife
New member
Username: Simplekindoflife
Post Number: 4
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, April 29, 2005 - 03:46 pm: |
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That was actually a very good explanation Darwins, it clarified it for me at least |
Kendra
New member
Username: Kendra
Post Number: 14
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, April 29, 2005 - 06:38 pm: |
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Thank you Darwins, that does help alot. I unfortunatly am one of those people who is always seen as the strong one. Alot of things happened when I was a child, maybe one day I'll go into that. But I do have a habit of holding in all my emotions.
Thank you again, for the explination. |
Naughtybynature
New member
Username: Naughtybynature
Post Number: 5
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, April 29, 2005 - 07:19 pm: |
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That was a great write up Darwins! fully understandable with how you explained it.
Did is a word of achievement, Won't is a word of retreat, Might is a word of bereavement, Can't is a word of defeat, Ought is a word of duty, Try is a word of each hour, Will is a word of beauty, Can is a word of power.
*(Unknown Author)
Don't take life so seriously.....it isn't permanent
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Kendra
New member
Username: Kendra
Post Number: 19
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, May 01, 2005 - 06:51 am: |
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Would you have any advice for a breaking Darwins? |
Kendra
New member
Username: Kendra
Post Number: 20
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, May 01, 2005 - 06:54 am: |
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Or does Anyone have any advice for a breaking? |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 32
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, May 01, 2005 - 10:51 am: |
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From what I understand Kendra, this isnt something to do unless you are in a really bad place emotionally and you really, really want to have those walls broken down. This isnt just a stress reliever spanking or one you want because you've had a really bad week at work. This type of spanking can be very harsh, and should be done to help with past trauma's and emotional walls that have been built up over years.
That being said...be sure that the person doing this for you understands what is involved. They should be someone who you trust completely and who wants the very best for you. They cant chicken out half way through, or they could make things worse. A breaking spanking is done to break down the dam you've built and to let the waters (emotions) run free.
Usually there is no warm up and no hand spanking. The spanker chooses an implement that will cause the most pain as quickly as possible, and uses it ruthlessly. The person being spanked is brought to tears as quickly as they can be, and the person doing the spanking must listen for the change in voice...from crying from the pain in their butt to sobbing out the emotions. Once that point has been reached the spanking can stop and the holding and cuddling should be immediate. Let them cry until their through, do nothing to stop them! Once the tears trickle off is a good time for reassurances and aftercare.
I hope you dont have to go through this Kendra, it seems like quite a serious experience to me. I have a lot of unresolved issues, but I dont wish to go through this any time soon...if ever! |
Kendra
New member
Username: Kendra
Post Number: 23
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, May 02, 2005 - 06:37 am: |
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I understand that this should not be used to simply remedy a bad day/week. Stress relief spankings are good for that . But like I said earlier I have a lot of built up emotions that keep building and building. I think that I need to eliminate alot of stresses in my life before I even concidering asking my husband to do this for me, but I think it needs to be done. I will post on my blog about my past and why I feel this needs to be done. I don't think posting here would be appropriate for that.
Is a breaking spanking a one time thing? After I am "broken" and all the emotions I hold inside now are free, will I still be cursed with holding in all my emotions or will I be able to release emotions in the future? I hope you understand what I am trying to say because I don't know how to better explain it. |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 37
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, May 02, 2005 - 09:16 am: |
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Kendra, it is my understanding that this kind of spanking will rid you of a lot of toxic emotions and should help you to feel more at peace with yourself. I'm pretty sure this isnt something that should need to be done more than once or twice in a lifetime.
This isnt a cure for your problem of holding all your emotions inside, its simply a release. You have to do the actual work on becoming more in tune with your emotions and allowing them to come out...good or bad. You may find that breaking down the walls works for you, and you never need to worry about this again, but I think most should seek some outside help as well. |
Kendra
New member
Username: Kendra
Post Number: 25
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 02:04 pm: |
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I posted on my blog my life story, feel free to take a glance if you like. |
Bigfoot1408
New member
Username: Bigfoot1408
Post Number: 34
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 14, 2005 - 08:07 am: |
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thank you darwins,,, that answered a lot of questions for me too. |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 338
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 20, 2005 - 05:02 pm: |
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I'm bumping this thread up to the top for those who were looking for it.
Here you go! |
Kendra
Spanko
Username: Kendra
Post Number: 268
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 21, 2005 - 11:28 am: |
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Thank you very much Bethie!!!
May the Spirit of the Elves guide you.
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Babyj4
Junior Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 75
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, September 22, 2005 - 12:28 pm: |
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I just wanted to say thanks for posting this, it is a big help , it is exactly what I need.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Tmichellebrat
New member
Username: Tmichellebrat
Post Number: 7
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 14, 2005 - 07:27 am: |
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Reading Darwin's explanation of a "breaking" spanking has brought some things to light for me. I think that this is what I might need but not sure how to approach my Dom about it. Any suggestions on how to break the ice? Thanks ahead of time. |
Babyj4
Advanced Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 893
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 14, 2005 - 11:05 am: |
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why don't you email him a copy of this post, that might help. 
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Beachley
Spanko
Username: Beachley
Post Number: 153
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 14, 2005 - 04:19 pm: |
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I hope, you that need this type of release, can find it, but I sure would hope you could find it some other way.
I will never find myself in need of a breaking spanking. I know Wolfie's Darwins and if he looked or came across in a dominant nature that would be enough. Perhaps that is because I am certain that he would be able to carry through with a breaking spanking or anyother kind of spanking for that matter. I know that my Mr. B would not be able to give a breaking spanking. But then I never expect to need that type of spanking.
All I am trying to say is don't go into a spanking like this until you give it careful consideration because the one you choose to do the spanking just may be able to actually carry through with it no matter what the cost to himself or to you.
I guess I see this type of spanking to be the most serious type spanking that could ever be given.
The Spice of Life is having my OWN WAY!! A spanking would be nice.
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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 446
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 14, 2005 - 05:46 pm: |
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I'm in agreement with Beachley on this one. When I commented on this topic early on, I was speaking about my experiences with "therapuetic" spanking.
I'd never heard of breaking spankings and once it was explained, I wanted nothing to do with one. Dan and I are into erotic spankings for the most part, very little of any other types, and I couldn't get my head wrapped around a "breaking" one.
That said, please pay attention to the precautions given by others here. Also, I know it gets old to hear it, but always keep this in mind: Safe, Sane, and Consensual! No matter who you're playing with.
(Message edited by bethie on October 14, 2005) |
Tmichellebrat
New member
Username: Tmichellebrat
Post Number: 8
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 14, 2005 - 07:11 pm: |
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Thanks Beachley and Bethie for your comments on this. And the more I have thought about this, I have to agree with you both. I guess I am just searching for a way to get the "emotional release" that I need. And the more I think about it, I know that my Dom wouldn't be able to give me this type of spanking and I would never want to push him into it either. He already has a hard time spanking me because of some past abuse I went through...so to even ask him to do this would not be fair. I guess I am just searching for something and really not sure what that is I am searching for. Thanks again for the advice. |
Babyj4
Advanced Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 931
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 14, 2005 - 08:24 pm: |
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I thought I wanted a breaking spanking, and I asked for one, thankfully he was unable to go through with it. We did a lot of reseach and found that what I wanted was an emotional release for my built up guilt anger and a bunch of other feelings. I ended up getting that emotional release out of a discipline spanking. It was taken very seriously, he had a stern look as well as the tone in his voice. He lectured me and I recieved his hand, the hairbrush as well as the belt, and the he followed that up with another round of the brush. I cryed my eyes out and the next day I felt so much better. Good luck and be safe.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Beachley
Spanko
Username: Beachley
Post Number: 155
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 14, 2005 - 10:58 pm: |
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I am so glad that you both found what you need and did not need to take it to the level of a breaking spanking.
The very few discipline spankings I have had, have been more than sufficient to take me where my head needed to be. I am glad that it worked for you Babyj4 and I hope you find what you are searching for tmichellebrat. I bet you will in time.
The Spice of Life is having my OWN WAY!! A spanking would be nice.
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Babyj4
Advanced Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 938
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 14, 2005 - 11:35 pm: |
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Thanks, I'm glad too.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 585
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, October 15, 2005 - 03:50 pm: |
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Having now experienced this type of a spanking, I can only say that I love my Dom very much. I'm sure it wasnt easy for him to do, but afterwards I felt relaxed and cleansed by it all.
I would rather not have to experience it ever again, but I'm glad he loves me enough to wish to help me that way. I trust him to know what's right for me and he has never let me down. 
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
I'm back!!!
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Ziggy
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ziggy
Post Number: 610
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, October 15, 2005 - 06:28 pm: |
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hey welcome back wolfie, had good time I hope !! |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 591
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, October 15, 2005 - 08:46 pm: |
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Hiya Ziggy! Yes thanks, a wonderful time was had by both of us. 
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
I'm back!!!
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Babyj4
Advanced Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 951
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 17, 2005 - 10:13 am: |
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welcome back wolfie, I am glad you had fun, and found your release.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 606
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 17, 2005 - 12:08 pm: |
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Thanks Baby, me too.
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
I'm back!!!
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Babyj4
Advanced Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 965
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 17, 2005 - 03:28 pm: |
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*sends a very soft pillow to eases Wolfie's bottom*
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 610
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 17, 2005 - 04:26 pm: |
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Thank you, believe it or not after 3 days home I'm STILL sore! 
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
I'm back!!!
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Babyj4
Advanced Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 981
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 17, 2005 - 05:05 pm: |
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good for you
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Sundance
New member
Username: Sundance
Post Number: 10
Registered: 06-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 17, 2005 - 06:01 pm: |
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Hi There,
I have been reading what a breaking spanking is and I am very interested.My second better half had been giving me those types of spankings for about 4 years. I just thought that was the way it always went.I ended up crying and sobbing from about the 5 or sixth lash from a bull whip and all the rest of the way through. My wife now will not even get close to what I want,I fell in love with those breaking spankings because I always felt so much better as a person and husband afterwards.
I guess it was from all the release I got from the sobbing.There was never any real damage and I was always ready for the next one in a month or so.I am still trying to explain this to my wife and one day she will understand.Untill then,you guys keep up the great info on here.It has helped me more than once.Thanks all of you. |
Babyj4
Advanced Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 990
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 17, 2005 - 06:04 pm: |
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A bull whip! Yikes! you are one tough dude.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Otktheplace4me
New member
Username: Otktheplace4me
Post Number: 49
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 17, 2005 - 07:02 pm: |
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Ftopinmichigan
Junior Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 56
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 18, 2005 - 08:49 am: |
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I use a single tail on special folks, and not a single one of them found it too harsh. It all depends on how you use it. It can be like little soft kisses...little bee stings....or it can cut like a knife.
I like to design in tiny welts, to heighten a pattern on the skin, and then have it slowly go down, within maybe a half hour. Anything harsher than that, and the receipient better bring along their own single tail. 
A bullwhip is multi purpose too.
A Dressage Whip is a good starter, in the right hands, to get a little of the feeling.
I think the idea of a "whip" is just too scary to consider, and for some may be a "hard limit"....until they decide to try it!
K |
Babyj4
Supreme Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 1008
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 18, 2005 - 09:22 am: |
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I couldn't even bring myself to consider trying it.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Ftopinmichigan
Junior Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 59
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 18, 2005 - 01:26 pm: |
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Babyj, I understand the fear, and the thought of it, but really...if you watched a scene, and were able to not only see the pleasure of the whippee  ...but the skill of the whipper...you might change your mind.
There are MANY things I said I'd never do, that are commonplace enjoyments these days. Using the singletail is one of them.
K |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 611
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 18, 2005 - 02:01 pm: |
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I know what you mean Ftop, I said I would never play with implements and now I do. I said never to the cane, but now it's something we use on occasion. It's hard not to fear the unknown, but better to remember that any toy can be gentle if used that way.
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
I'm back!!!
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Admin
Board Administrator
Username: Admin
Post Number: 40
Registered: 03-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 18, 2005 - 05:21 pm: |
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There are many different levels of needs and desires in this lifestyle and we have to be respectful of that. Also, this is consensual play we're talking about, not something enforced on someone. I don't want to see that type of comparison here on the board again. Update: Offending post was deleted. We don't discuss non-consensual acts here.
I, myself, enjoy implements and play that scare other people silly. That's fine, I'm the one who's consented to it and am enjoying it, not them.
Even if something discussed here is not your style or in your comfort level, as long as it's not breaking site protocol, please be respectful toward the poster. I promised in the beginning to make this forum a supportive and friendly place for those in the lifestyle where they could be comfortable and feel safe discussing their kinks. I'm going to keep that promise as best as I can. I'd appreciate everyone's help with this. Thank you!
(Message edited by Admin on October 18, 2005) |
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