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Babyj4
Advanced Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 933
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 14, 2005 - 08:34 pm: | 
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I was wondering how you recieve emotional release spankings. I am sure everyone is different.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Smartnnaughty
Spanko
Username: Smartnnaughty
Post Number: 300
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 16, 2005 - 09:15 am: |
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BabyJ-I don't know for sure. I received a punishment spanking a couple of weeks ago and my HOH was determined to make me cry. Well, I concentrated on handling the pain (it was VERY painful) and I didn't cry until it was over and then only a little bit. I think when we get to the point where I cry freely then I will have the emotional release/stress release that I am seeking. I will let you know when that happens. We are working on it.
I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once.
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Poofette
New member
Username: Poofette
Post Number: 8
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 17, 2005 - 02:33 am: |
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Hmmmm...I've never been spanked to the point of tears. I don't feel all that emotional during, incredibly turned on and a little edgy but not emotional. My let down happens usually in the next day or two. Then I get emotional. That's when I tend to "poof" (hence the nickname). All that means is I retreat emotionally and physically from my partner. Is that strange?
Poofette |
Ftopinmichigan
Junior Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 52
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 17, 2005 - 09:10 am: |
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I have spanked partners to tears, and their tears were not due to the pain of the spanking, but rather to the emotional issues they were dealing with at the time. Since I only spank men, I think the "spanking" could be an "excuse" for them to let go (and cry). They enjoyed the physical release from the pleasure/pain, and then having it finally stop, but the crying and release of pent up emotions probably did them much more than my paddle/brush/belt/whip/tawse ......could ever do.
I felt it was a privilege to take them were they needed to go, but it's a hard session for all of us.
K |
Bottombandit
New member
Username: Bottombandit
Post Number: 13
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 17, 2005 - 09:32 am: |
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Okay, here is a truth that you will not read on every post.
Like Poof, I have never been that far. But, I can see exactly what Ftop speaks of, the letting go completely. Its especially hard for a man in every day life to get to find emotional release and to not HAVE to be in charge. I have found that once in a great while, staring with spanking then moving to a roll play form of sub sex reaches the same goal. My partner also enjoys the reverse role change as well which helps me relax. It took a long time to allow that to happen but works wonders. (for both of us) The orgasam's in lieu of crying is always better as well. LOL |
Babyj4
Advanced Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 950
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 17, 2005 - 10:11 am: |
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thanks guys, and let me know when you get that release Naughty, it is wonderful. good luck
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 607
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 17, 2005 - 12:15 pm: |
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Poofette, it sounds as though you are going thru "sub drop" after your spanking. This usually occurs because most spankings release endorphins into our systems, causing a mellow, happy mood right afterwards. You feel extremely close to your partner, relaxed and loving. When those endorphins finally go away most of us feel a let down, sadness or just plain bad mood.
This rarely happens if you live with your spanker and get your bottom warmed regularly. For those of us in l/d relationships sub drop can be especially miserable.
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
I'm back!!!
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Babyj4
Advanced Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 963
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 17, 2005 - 03:19 pm: |
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I never thought of that, but it makes a lot of sence.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Ftopinmichigan
Junior Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 54
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 17, 2005 - 06:44 pm: |
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Just FYI...some Tops get it too..."Top Drop" isn't so uncommon, it's just not as openly talked about.
K |
Poofette
New member
Username: Poofette
Post Number: 9
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 18, 2005 - 03:03 am: |
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Sub and top drop. Hmmmph...sounds as if I should get another spanking to nip those poofette feelings in the bud.  You're probably right though. I don't live with my top/playdate partner. It is interesting though to imagine what that would be like. You think I could be spanked out of wanting/doing a poof? I'm not so sure, I think I might poof anyways even if it's only internally. It's an old habit of mine. It might be fun to try it and see though.
Poofette |
Ftopinmichigan
Junior Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 57
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 18, 2005 - 08:57 am: |
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Hey Poofette  , maybe your emotional and physical retreat, from your partner, after a session, is due to you not wanting to be even 'more' vulnerable in front of them.
There are MANY emotions to deal with, and perhaps you feel you'd do better to handle them, by yourself.
As someone that tends to keep to herself, regarding emotions (although I do good with sharing anger  ), I know I don't want anyone to see "me" in a vulnerable position.
You might find your sub drop dissipating much sooner, if you shared yourself and your emotions with your partner, or maybe even with a close friend.
K |
Sdhrts
New member
Username: Sdhrts
Post Number: 5
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 18, 2005 - 02:09 pm: |
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emotional release seems to happen when taken to tears, for the bottom. I think the endorphin rush happens before being spanked to tears and don't know if they can or should be achived at the same time. |
Shylah
New member
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 16
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 18, 2005 - 04:10 pm: |
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I've never been spanked to tears. My fella says to spank to tears is going too far. But then he is a softie and I get away with murder.
I DIDN'T DO IT!! I'm innocent I tell ya!! INNOCENT!! TRUST ME!!!
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Badtom
New member
Username: Badtom
Post Number: 26
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 18, 2005 - 08:21 pm: |
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Emotional release is something I can't get to grips with - freely tearful is a state I dearly want to achieve as a male bottom, but I haven't got there yet. Any suggestions? |
Poofette
New member
Username: Poofette
Post Number: 10
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 19, 2005 - 12:22 am: |
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Ewwwwwwwwwww emotions? Share them? I am soooo not a girl in this particular area!! You're right though K, I do feel like I need my own space and can handle emotions better when I'm alone. Avoiding "sub drop" is something I'd really like to do. So the deal is...sharing my feelings with my "top" can help me with that?
Poofette |
Ftopinmichigan
Junior Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 63
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 19, 2005 - 07:28 am: |
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Bad Tom, I think you might get to "tears" with the right person. If you find a Top/Spanker that knows you VERY well, they will be able to get into your head and touch the emotions you need to deal with, and release. There has to be a "special" connection, in most cases. Usually then, they will be able to take you wherever you want to be...and that's a good thing.
Poofette, I completely understand how you feel about dealing with those things alone. I don't know if talking/dealing with your Top will help, but I feel it couldn't hurt (at least not anymore than your bottom would be feeling at the moment ), and you just might find the solution to that nasty "subdrop."
If you're not that comfortable with your spanker, then find a friend to talk it out with, whether in person, or online. From how it sounds, I think you might start with an online friend. That way, you can still easily retreat, if you feel the need.
K |
Poofette
New member
Username: Poofette
Post Number: 11
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 19, 2005 - 09:57 pm: |
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Retreat is poofette!!! Poof she's gone again. Sigh...actually I'd rather not do it but that's only afterwards when I realize I hurt who ever's feeling by disappearing. I like/need/despise my emotional distance. Sheeeeesh, the complications of life, huh? It is something I'm attempting to work on though it isn't easy when I use every excuse in the book to justify my escape. I blame others for not doing or being exactly what I need exactly, when I need it. 
Poofette |
Ftopinmichigan
Junior Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 70
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, October 20, 2005 - 08:19 am: |
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Poofette, you're words hit very close to home here.
For me, it's a matter of having my partner "know" me (as well as "me" know him). I want him to having feelings for me, that help him to understand what I need, and he can then figure out what I need, and when.
A more casual play partner will only be concerned with the moment. They will enjoy the time together, and the scene itself. They care for the person, as long as they are in scene, and many don't extend that "after."
Do you really have the connection to your partner that your truly want, or is it more casual?
If it's your loving partner, or regular partner...they would pick on your feelings..or on your need to retreat. After doing it all the time...they'd figure it out, dontcha think? And if they didn't....maybe their not paying attention to you enough.
Okay....done now. Poof!
K |
Badtom
New member
Username: Badtom
Post Number: 28
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 21, 2005 - 06:48 am: |
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Thanks Ftop - your experience and insight very welcome. My partner is very close to me emotionally, and has the beginnings of understanding about my kinky side. I can't imagine getting to even that stage with anyone else at the moment, so it's going to have to be her. Unfortunately it keeps being left on the back burner, and I've got out of the habit of talking about it with her. Good news is we've talked about talking about it again...so I guess it's 'watch this space' at the moment. |
Poofette
New member
Username: Poofette
Post Number: 13
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 25, 2005 - 02:45 am: |
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Ahhhh...the magic of "poofing". Always allows me enough time to put the proper perspective on things...or does it? It has a tendancy to allow me enough time to put a negative spin on things as is my wont to do. My top...hmmm...he's not a casual playmate even when I try to keep him there. He'd be more then that if both of us would stop running long enough to let things be. That's a pickle for me at least. Feeling safe enough to trust him with my body is not a problem...feeling safe enough to trust him with my feelings is another. We both have our share of issues, as a matter of fact we are two of a kind in a whole lot of matters. Especially the running/poofing part!! I often wonder which of us will stop running first and if the other one will get too freaked out to hang around and see what happens. Someday maybe I'll get brave enough to find out. The funny thing is that when we have our playdates (what I call it) is when I feel incredibly close to him. I suppose that's why I poof afterwards. Much too scary of a place.
Poofette |
Naughtybry
New member
Username: Naughtybry
Post Number: 4
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 30, 2005 - 02:49 pm: |
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Hey BabyJ, I would love to have some one to help me reach that point of emotional release, I know it's got to be a spanking that takes me past the threashold, where I just stop resisting the spanking, and am relaxed while I'm laying across her knee (who ever that is), and them am just held till I calm down, and relax, the best would be if I was able to just fall asleep after the spanking. I hope every one is able to find this, especially when he or she really needs it.
Hugs,
Bry |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 1542
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 30, 2005 - 03:03 pm: |
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I am a very emotional person by nature, I can cry at a commerical. I can only bottle by my feelings by choice, and I don't think that is healthy. So I cry and it is a huge release. My husband likes the physical release. Many times we are both worn out after a session.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Redhinney
New member
Username: Redhinney
Post Number: 10
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 30, 2005 - 03:25 pm: |
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Like Fanny I am a very emotional person but only with people I am really comfortable with. If any of you where to be clients of mine you would see a totally professional female always at the top of her game. In order to remain like that at the office I am usually running on high all the time so when I get home my brain turns off I don't think I just let it flow where it may. Many times W will ask what are you thinking about and my answer I don't know I let my brain go where it wants. I think this is the main reason I make a good sub/bottom I do what he ask because I don't wnat to think about it.
I mentioned before that I have gotten strees relief spankings in the past and most likly get them in future I can honestly say that I have come to tears after each one as well as the spankings I get for being a brat. Depending on what type of spanking W will not stop until he is ready no matter how much I beg (which you would think I would have begging after 25 years but no I do it each and every time) If we are engaged in erotic spanking W knows just when to stop usually just minutes before the big O. Again I beleive it is because our realtionship is based on love respect and trust,
Fanny, I cry at commericals to especially the ones around the hoildays and anything to do with babies/birthing etc. |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 1544
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 30, 2005 - 06:02 pm: |
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I believe that stopping stress before it becomes bitchiness benefits everyone. I really do not like to be disrespectful and rude, then regret it later. When tensions run high things get said and done that shouldn't be. I'd rather have a spanking before things get out of control.
Tears are a very cleansing release.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Tammynx
Spanko
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 124
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 30, 2005 - 06:37 pm: |
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I agree with you Fanny. I hate when things get out of control...and I say things I regret. I'd rather have the spanking before that happens too. However...I don't know how to communicate that to my husband...he is more then willing to spank me after it gets out of control. Any suggestions?? |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 1554
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 30, 2005 - 07:19 pm: |
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It just kind of evolved with us. R learned to nip the bud before it bloomed. Now he knows when I am headed down that path and stops me before I regret it. Of course we have been together for a long time.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Redhinney
New member
Username: Redhinney
Post Number: 16
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 30, 2005 - 07:58 pm: |
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Tammynx,
After you get spanked for being bratty from stress or whatever, do you guys ever talk about why it happened. We did that in the begining and I think that help us to know the signs before it happens to be a big atom bomb ticking. After one of your spanking due to being out of control I think you should tell him that you would appericate it if he sees the path you are going to stop it before the bomb goes off. I know that W will always say something like little girl be careful where you going because you may not like what you step in That tells me he knows that I am working on overload and if I don't do something to stop the crash he will. |
Tammynx
Spanko
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 127
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 30, 2005 - 08:29 pm: |
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Good suggestions both of you!! We do talk about what started the bad mood or day..or whatever it happens to be, but what my husbands thinks is that the only way to get me out of a mood is to spank it out of me. Yes that works...but I think your right that it needs to stopped before it happens and gets ugly.
I think your right Redhinney..I need to let him know that I need the spanking before it gets ugly. I will try talking to him. I'll let you know how it works out!!
Thanks again to both Fanny and Redhinney!!  |
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