| Author |
Message |
    
Beth77
New member
Username: Beth77
Post Number: 1
Registered: 01-2019
| | Posted on Monday, January 21, 2019 - 06:23 am: | 
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Hi , im f 41 and 4 kids, id like to discuss with other parents, teachers etc. different ways to discipline or ways to improve the effectiveness of the punishment. |
Sgtspanker
New member
Username: Sgtspanker
Post Number: 1
Registered: 04-2019
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 30, 2019 - 04:49 pm: |
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Beth,
You've said you want to discuss ways to improve the punishment. This seems to be in the context of your 4 daughters, ages 11-22.
I am father of 8 kids, so I have some experience from which to speak.
Attitude is key. You must project the certainty that you will be obeyed. The successful parent believes that his or her kids are good kids who sometimes mess up ... but will learn to do better. And projects that belief to the kids.
The parent who is frazzled and trying desperately to gain some shred of control will not succeed until he or she changes his or her own attitude. And the parent frustrated with "these brats" will only project the frustration of failure. Punishment is a tool, but not the whole solution.
Consistency is the second key. Disobedience and disrespect should ALWAYS earn a punishment. I lean toward spanking as my default punishment, but anything else that:
1. is proportional to the offense
2. is taken seriously by the kid
3. provides the ability to regain the connection with the parent
Is worth consideration. On point 3, sending the kid away ... putting on reminders for a long time of the offense ... this breaks the connection instead of building it. Long-term, the connection to the kid serves as more of a guide than any physical punishment will.
Lying should be one of the most soundly punished vices. I always give a thorough belting on the bare bottom for that.
Back to consistency, the kid who learns he can push mom or dad so far before being punished will do so. If she's baring her bottom the FIRST time she gets sassy, she won't be so likely to do it 4 more times and drive mom crazy with it.
Hope this helps. Glad to discuss further. |
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