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Smartnnaughty
Spanko
Username: Smartnnaughty
Post Number: 169
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, July 07, 2005 - 11:34 am: | 
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What am I doing standing in this corner? I can't
believe I consented to this. I'm a grown woman for
crying out loud. I'm in my very own home waiting for
this stranger to----what? What is he going to do to
me? Fear ripples through me. Am I strong enough to be
submissive? Will I be able to take the pain? So many
questions! My mind is in turmoil and my stomach is
flopping. I feel something strongly arouse me as I
think about what is to happen.
I can't see what he is doing. Things are being moved
and prepared. I have fantasized about being punished
by a strong, dominant man ever since I was a little
girl. It was a daddy/daughter thing or a husband/wife
scenario. It didn't matter: I was told I was a naughty
little girl and that I deserved to be punished and
hard. It started out always the same. This part rarely
changed. I would be ordered to stand in front of my
disciplinarian and sternly told that I had been bad.
My head would be lowered in shame as my behavior was
reviewed. Oh how I hated this part. But I hated/loved
all of it. Was I crazy?
Then the time came for me to pull my pant down. I was
always reminded that my panties needed to be down as
well. I knew my backside was going to be hot but not
as hot as my desire which was already increasing. Yet
all I could think about is the humiliation of being a
grown woman that was just about to be spanked.
Sometimes, I was ordered to take my shirt off, then
bra. It was almost like I was being stripped of
clothing and dignity one piece at a time. My shame
increased. He stood up and begain to unbuckle his
belt. My mind panics as I see him remove it from his
pants. Oh the site of that! This is going to be a very
harsh punishment indeed.
The order came. I was to bend over. Could I move
forward? Would my legs carry me or would I be yelled
at once again for not obeying an order? In a split
second, so many thoughts went through my mind. Yes, I
deserved a beating but why would I lay across his lap
of my own free will? Do I run or do I submit? The
inner turmoil is intense. But I know I have no choice
and I step forward and lay across his lap.
The ritual isn't done yet, not by a long shot. I lay
in a most humiliating position and the lecture
continues. Sometimes he reaches down and tweaks my
nipples hard. Other times he has me spread my legs and
he checks me for wetness. I am vulnerable and can do
nothing but obey at this point. Questions, the
questions begin.
Have I been naughty? I'm expected to answer when we
have just been through why I'm being punished. I find
my voice and answer yes, sir.
What happens to naughtly little girls? They need need
to be punished, I say.
How hard should they be spanked? Very hard, sir.
Do you deserve to be whipped? Yes, sir.
Ask for what you need and deserve. I have been a very
naughy little girl and I need to be spanked very hard.
Please beat me because I deserve it.
Very well. I close my eyes and wait for the first lick
of the belt. I know it is going to hurt so bad just
like it always had before. I feel tears in my eyes
even before the belt lands on my ass and the pain
begins as the belt makes contact with my butt. I wince
in pain but my entire body is alive and pulsating. The
belt comes down again and again and again. His full
force is used to whip me and the pain radiates
outward.
I lay there knowing that I have this coming and
grateful that he would teach me the error of my ways.
He is one man that I can't bully and make him do
things my way. He is stronger than me and I have no
choice but to submit. I love him for being strong and
putting me in my place. The blows keep coming and I am
crying now. I beg for him to stop but he is too smart
to let me control him and get away with telling him
when to stop. All the promises of being good and never
doing it again fall on deaf ears. He is intent on
teaching me a lesson and making sure I won't forget.
Finally, he does stops It takes me a moment to realize
it and I am still crying. He orders me to the floor
and tells me to lay on my back and spread my legs. He
is going to take me right then and there. I can do
nothing but submit to everything he wants. He takes me
hard not considering me at all. He is using me to
satisfy his desires and I am merely his masturbation
tool at this point. At least that is what it feels
like. I am soaking wet and my body opens to him. He
pulls my hair as he thrusts his full penis deeply
inside of me. He rides me, pushing harder and deeper
and quicker. I can do nothing but let him take me and
use me as he wishes.
He climaxes and shortly thereafter, I do as well. When
he has finished and the last of his cum is inside me,
he lays down beside me and pulls me to him. I am still
crying but now it is softly. He holds me, gently, and
I know my punishment is over and I have paid for my
wrongdoing. I am filled with admiration and love for
this man. I feel safe from the world but most of all,
I feel safe from myself and my destructive behaviors.
Ohhh, I have been lost in fantasy. But standing in
this boring corner, I am reminded that I am not living
out my ritual. NO this is going to be real: real pain,
real tears, real sex, real harshness. Can I do it? Can
I stop it? I know that I have no choice. I gave that
up when I hit send on the email giving him my address
and contact information. Now the only question is how
would I react. I know it would be very different from
all the times I masturbated to this scenario in my
head. I just hope I can do it without making myself
into a big fool.
I don't know what to expect so I just stand there
waiting. Waiting. Waiting. I try to get a hold of my
emotions and calm myself down. It isn't easy. There is
no backing out now and I will have to go through with
it. I try to focus but I know that I won't be able to
calm down until this is over with. I give in to the
feelings and know that giving up my will to a stronger
person is what I desire, what I need. My opinion of
myself shrinks as I feel myself submit to what is
about to happen.
Now, what is he doing? Why can't he hurry up and do
things MY WAY?
(I laugh to myself as I realize that having my way is
the problem.)
Sassy Sassy Sassy
No one can be as Sassy as me!
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Fanny
Advanced Spanko
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 741
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, July 09, 2005 - 09:51 am: |
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SNN, this is powerful release of internal energies for you. You have articulated exactly what you want/need and you did it very well.
"Queen of Innocence"
"oooooo", she says!!
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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 278
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, July 09, 2005 - 08:33 pm: |
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SNN, this is great and I'm so glad you posted it. Sometimes getting our way isn't simple, is it? 
Thanks for posting this, SNN! |
Spanker4u
New member
Username: Spanker4u
Post Number: 8
Registered: 06-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, July 10, 2005 - 10:17 am: |
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I thought this was brilliantly written. I felt I was sharing your thoughts almost from within.
Thank you. |
Smartnnaughty
Spanko
Username: Smartnnaughty
Post Number: 175
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, July 10, 2005 - 02:02 pm: |
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Thanks for the kind words, Mr. Spanker. You can spank me any time!
Sassy Sassy Sassy
No one can be as Sassy as me!
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Naughtybynature
Junior Spanko
Username: Naughtybynature
Post Number: 96
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 12, 2005 - 02:14 pm: |
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Wonderful story SNN!!! 
Did is a word of achievement, Won't is a word of retreat, Might is a word of bereavement, Can't is a word of defeat, Ought is a word of duty, Try is a word of each hour, Will is a word of beauty, Can is a word of power.
*(Unknown Author)
Don't take life so seriously.....it isn't permanent
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Bendover
New member
Username: Bendover
Post Number: 18
Registered: 07-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 12, 2005 - 08:32 pm: |
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Dear SmartNnaughty,
I read your story when it was posted, and I was deeply touched by it. One of the things that I've struggled to understand is what exactly goes on in the mind of someone in the position that you describe. For a top, it can be awe inspiring to see and difficult to understand. I feel closer to understanding it now, and I'll continue to ponder the mysteries of a sub and her needs.
There's a complex relationship between a top and bottom, and you've helped me much by baring your thoughts and emotions. I'm going to read it again and again.
Thank you. |
Tplayer
New member
Username: Tplayer
Post Number: 7
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, May 11, 2006 - 12:13 pm: |
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I have felt the same fantaies soooo many times. Good work |
Smartnnaughty
Spanko
Username: Smartnnaughty
Post Number: 342
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 16, 2006 - 10:12 pm: |
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Thanks, Tplayer. I posted it on my own blog and people liked it there too.
SNN
I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once.
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