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Otter
Junior Spanko
Username: Otter
Post Number: 95
Registered: 03-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, May 28, 2006 - 02:30 pm: | 
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So one of the things that I am having trouble wrapping my mind around when I think about being a spanko is the idea of enjoying the spanking. Not the why. I can understand all that. It's not the why that confuses me, it's just the fact that it *is* this way, if that makes any sense.
What I am wondering about is when you say you enjoy a spanking, are you enjoying it at the time? I think when I thought about people who like spanking or painplay or whatever (like two years ago, before I was one) I thought that masochists somehow interpreted the pain signals differently and enjoyed the sensation. Like they feel pain differently and it feels good.
But that is totally not what I'm finding. I am finding (because I have no doubt that I am a masochist  ) that it does hurt at the time, and I don't really enjoy it when it is going on. There is a large part of my brain that is saying "This HAS to STOP! Holy F*CK what is wrong with this man that he would do this to me?!?!" and only experience and the remaining logical part of my brain tells me not to stop it. It is hard for me to wrap my mind around the idea of saying that I enjoy something that I don't enjoy when it's happening, though I do enjoy *everything else* about it, just not the actual act. Does this make any sense? Am I just babbling? It's kind of like exercise, I guess: I love the results and how it makes me feel, I just wish I could get those things without having to actually do the work.
I guess what I am asking is what do you mean when you say you enjoy spanking? Do you actually like the act of being spanked. Is there anyone out there who actually likes being struck or does it just hurt and you put up with that to get the other bennies?
I really am asking. I am not trying to be a smart aleck or anything (though it wouldn't be the first time!). Honestly, I've only been spanking for about a 1 1/2 years for discipline and erotically for only about six months so this is all pretty new to me and I tend to way overthing things so... Any insight would be much appreciated!
"Sometimes love don't feel like it should." -John Cougar
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Pinkcheeks
Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 454
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, May 28, 2006 - 02:42 pm: |
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I enjoy the act itself
I enjoy the sensations
I enjoy the emotion release
I enjoy the feeling of submission when OTK
I enjoy knowing He loves me enough to discipline
I enjoy the sex that follows if it is a good girl or erotic spanking
I lavish the feeling of a very warm bottom
I love to see my bottom red/pink after a spanking
I love the intimate contact
So, I guess when I say I enjoy spankings, it means that the spankings encompass a lot of emotional and physical aspects of hubby and my relationship. It has brought us closer together too.
Hope that answered your question Otter 
**btw....try not to read into WHY you enjoy it --- just do 
"Thought I WAS being a good girl...really I did!"
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 569
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, May 28, 2006 - 02:54 pm: |
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GREAT answer Pink!!! I could not have said it better myself!!!!
I enjoy the spanking...yes it hurts....no I don't really like pain....but its the act...not the pain. I love the feeling after....
I agree with Pink....enjoy the spanking and try not to read so much into it!! |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2431
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, May 28, 2006 - 03:37 pm: |
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I hate pain!!!! But the emotional benefits of a spanking make it worth it to me. I like the idea of relinquishing and not having to think about anything else but the spanking that is going on. It does recenter me and I love the comforting that goes on during and after. There are times when I feel like I am going to explode and spanking is a safe way to let it all out. Not to mention I am a tease and stubborn, and sometimes it is the only way to get my full attention.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Little_miss
New member
Username: Little_miss
Post Number: 14
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, May 28, 2006 - 04:31 pm: |
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wow Otter, your post actually made me question why i like it....most of it confuses me but i know i like feeling like i have no power....Adam's authority is a really big turn on...and i guess i like the intimacy before/during/after it. Other than that i don't get it. Sometimes the pain's ok but mostly i don't like it til afterwards...than i want it to hurt more. it's a weird, complicated preference i guess.
"Lately it just seems to me like we have the letters ADD branded into our mentality"
~Reliant K
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Wolfie
Supreme Spanko
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1749
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, May 28, 2006 - 06:59 pm: |
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I love everything about spanking...except maybe the guilty/sad/scary feeling I get when Im getting a real punishment spanking. 
Yes, it can hurt some in the very beginning, but once Im warmed up sufficiently I could go on all night. We dont play to see how much I can take...but for enjoyment or discipline. And after a long session when the endorphins are flowing...well, thats pure bliss. 
Otter, Ive done a lot of soul searching since I began my spanko life 3 years ago and there's little rhyme or reason for the WHY of it. Just enjoy spanking because you do. 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Blistering_blonde
Spanko
Username: Blistering_blonde
Post Number: 124
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, May 28, 2006 - 09:45 pm: |
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I DO NOT like the actual spanking ...IF its disapline ..it bloody well hurts and i am like ..HOLY CRACKERS .what the heck ..YIPES ..don't DO THAT .. OUCH .....as i wiggle, squirm and TRY to escape ...but OH DO I EVER LIKE ..the after ..the heat ..the throb ..the well sexual feeling ..i always feel thinner after one ..maybe cause i am only concentrating on certian spots ...but ......well ..its GREAT for the next day .. i feel SUPER SEXY and he benifits from that after.
I do like the over the knee ...till the hits start...and then after as i am calming down and still draped ..but NEVER the real ones ..now play ones .WHY DO THEY EVER HAVE TO STOP ?????
A HOT RED butt is the sign of LOVE and trust
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Ladygator2904
Spanko
Username: Ladygator2904
Post Number: 133
Registered: 03-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, May 28, 2006 - 09:56 pm: |
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Discipline is tough to take but I love the idea that someone cares enough about me than I care about myself! I love the nice warm afterglow. I love the various implements and not knowing which one will be used and at what time or for how long! I love the holding after the fact and my heart racing during the fact. Most of all, I love Gary!
A woman`s heart may be filled with an ocean of secrets but mine have all been released and I have a sore bottom to prove it!
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Butterfly84
New member
Username: Butterfly84
Post Number: 45
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, May 28, 2006 - 09:59 pm: |
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You know Otter...I wonder the same things. As those spanks are landing I'm usually thinking "DAMMIT!! THAT HURTS!!" But that warm, tingly feeling afterwards...yummy.
See, now you have me wondering about the actual psychological and physiological reactions people have to different stimuli. Lol, my college professors are in for a treat...
~*butterfly*~
Nobody suspects the butterfly...
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Butterfly84
New member
Username: Butterfly84
Post Number: 46
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, May 28, 2006 - 10:04 pm: |
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On another note, I hate that question. I have talked to friends about being a spanko and they always ask "How can you LIKE that??"
To me, that's like asking someone why do they like chocolate. Complicated scientific explanations aside...I just like it. So there.  Hehe
~*butterfly*~
Nobody suspects the butterfly...
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Otter
Junior Spanko
Username: Otter
Post Number: 97
Registered: 03-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, May 28, 2006 - 10:30 pm: |
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Well, I have another online friend who said (though I think she was talking about a male led relationship), "It's a rather odd thing to want, isn't it?" and I guess that is sort of the place where I started with this train of thought. I mean, it is sort of an odd thing to want, isn't it?
I guess I was just wondering if others were like me: don't like the pain, just like the bennies that result from it. Though, now that I say that, I do like the idea that I endured the pain and didn't safeword out or anything like that. It's like every spanking taken is a victory of my own endurance or something. So I guess there is something that I get out of it that I wouldn't get if it didn't hurt. (As I said in the OP, sometimes I wish that I could have the bennies of spanking without the spanking, LOL, DD without the punishment. I know some people do it, I just don't think it would work for us.) Thanks for your thoughts guys and keep 'em coming!
o*
"Sometimes love don't feel like it should." -John Cougar
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Paddledom
New member
Username: Paddledom
Post Number: 27
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Monday, May 29, 2006 - 10:31 am: |
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I must say -it is very interesting reading all these various perspectives.
Interesting to see the variety of reasons that someone derives pleasures from spankings |
Wolfie
Supreme Spanko
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1754
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, May 29, 2006 - 10:50 am: |
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Well Paddledom, why do you like it?
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Naughtyboy50s
New member
Username: Naughtyboy50s
Post Number: 19
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Monday, May 29, 2006 - 12:22 pm: |
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Unlike some here, I was born a spankophile! (content edited due to prohibited references)
Otter, the pain is not pleasent, but the situation is a masochist's ultimate desires.
Go ahead and edit all you want-Hopefully just these last two sentences. I'm not the monster I am being made out to be.
Thanks for your site!
}
(Message edited by shylah on May 29, 2006) |
Paddledom
New member
Username: Paddledom
Post Number: 28
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Monday, May 29, 2006 - 12:32 pm: |
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Why do I like it - a variety of reasons.
I do understand they may not be the same for all - but the reasons are what work for Me
I like the sight of a woman with her ass exposed and across My lap. The sound and feeling that ensues from My palms (or a paddle or other implements) striking her bare behind. The change in color as it turns red. The admiration of a beautiful bruise the day after - something akin to an art form. The smile that comes across My face as she "ouches" from pain when she sits in a restaurant the next day. The knowledge that every strike while causing pain - also causes her pleasure and that it brings us closer together and forms a bond.
A variety of reasons - not all of them happen in all relationships - but the ideal one would encompass all of these of course
And thus ends My rambling |
Mistydawn
Junior Spanko
Username: Mistydawn
Post Number: 65
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Monday, May 29, 2006 - 04:23 pm: |
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I do enjoy the sensation and the longer we've been doing this the more I can take. I don't mean when it more or less stops hurting and you can just enjoy it. The sting now has to be pretty hard for it to bother me where as originally a couple of light swats and I would finish up in tears.
More than that I enjoy the spanking because of the giving up of that power and knowing he can do what he wants. that turns any pain into erotic pain and makes it very bearable.
From other post you may have gathered we both sometimes struggle a bit with our sub/dom roles. We were having 'struggles' big time this morning. One of the main reasons I get spanked is to bring us back to those roles to re-establish a connection. We were both floundering this morning- I got spanked and spanked and spanked hard and long. It did nothing, it was horrible. If spankings were always like that I don't think we'd do it .I think I was more wound up than before we started and certainly less submissive. It was really scary ,that as never happened before so it makes me think maybe I need the relinquishing of control more than the spanking . Maybe my body wasn't playing I don't know.
We are getting back on track so maybe we can have another go tonight and I can test my theory
--------------------------------------------
MistyDawn
--------------------------------------------
Learning to love and loving to learn
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Subbie
New member
Username: Subbie
Post Number: 47
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 30, 2006 - 04:38 am: |
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I love the control he has over me, I love being spanked, I love the pain, it is a sexual experience for me. it hurs but I don't want him to stop. I love having my bottom red and it will sting for a couple of days afterwards, I love the role playing we do before, during and after the spanking.
I often asked myself many questions as to why me, why do i have these feelings and not someone else. now I don't ask any more, I have come to terms with it, take it for what ever it is and enjoy my life with my hubby.
Riding with him on his Harley after a good spanking, that is another story for another time
my name says it all
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Buenaventura
New member
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 38
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 30, 2006 - 07:28 am: |
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I love the position with your behind in the air completely open to me that is a tremendous turn-on.I haven,t learned yet to enjoy hitting hard but I can work up a pretty good sting with what I do.We,re working up to hard slowly.Love all this input. |
Czechchick
New member
Username: Czechchick
Post Number: 4
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 30, 2006 - 09:57 am: |
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It is so interesting to read why other people enjoy getting spanked and it is great to know that I am not a weirdo or sick in the head because I do. I think the ones who say "Don't ask why, just enjoy it!" have the best answer.
I don't mind when it hurts me, it is like a contest to prove I am strong ... but of course I always lose the contest! That also doesn't matter because my bottom feels so nice and hot and it looks so pretty when it is red all over!
I have only been spanked OTK and I agree that it is lovely feeling to submit yourself and feel helpless, you must take what you are going to be given...
Also so far my spankers have been young people, I would love to get spanked by an older person who is very experienced and who could teach me new things. It doesn't matter if it is a man or a lady, it would be so lovely just be done by someone who really knows how to spank!
} |
Victoria_wood
Spanko
Username: Victoria_wood
Post Number: 150
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 30, 2006 - 11:35 am: |
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Otter,
This is a great thread.
I like everything about spanking, including the pain. I think as a masochist I process pain differently from non-masochists, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. It's hard to explain but I trust many will know what I am saying.
The moment of impact is the only part that I have to think about liking. I love the wave of pain afterwards and the stinginess that lasts and of course the euphoria when the endorphins kick in. And I love it afterwards, knowing what I took. But that moment of impact -- it hurts like hell, but I like it. I think it's psychological, getting my head around taking the pain, realizing that pain is just another sensation; it's weakness leaving the body. It's hard to explain and this post is very inarticulate.
I never want a spanking to stop, except momentarily when it gets to be too much, and I'm overloaded on sensation, and I pull away.
Flogging on my back it like a jolt of energy through my body. I also like the pain of clips. I get off thinking about pain. I think I might like to inflict some pain.
So I guess I can't isolate a moment of the process from the overall pleasurable experience of the spanking.
Cheers,
Victoria
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Tom6789ca
New member
Username: Tom6789ca
Post Number: 22
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Friday, June 02, 2006 - 03:45 pm: |
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This is an excellent thread..... as a top without a LTR to consult with on such matters, it's helpful to know that all bottoms don't experience spanking in the same way. I think some tops probably ask themselves similar questions: does she really want this pain? |
Katie_spades
Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 494
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 06, 2006 - 06:14 pm: |
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Great thread indeed. I like erotic spankings but they are not realy hard and most definitely playful, and lead to sex and are very hot. However, I don't like the actual spanking I get when I have been bad, but until the spanking, I always feel bad about what I did and Jake's mad at me, and even though the spanking is horrible, he isn't mad at me anymore and I don't feel guilty anymore. the other thing is that it helped me with school and will over the next coming years. For ex/ if I study and don't do well, then Jake encourages me and I don't get a spanking because he knows I tried. However, if I blow off a test and don't study and do poorly, Jake spanks the hell out of me, and trust me, it's a long time before I blow off another test, LOL.
The Princess of Spanking
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Jen_tour
New member
Username: Jen_tour
Post Number: 3
Registered: 09-2006
| | Posted on Friday, September 08, 2006 - 08:35 pm: |
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Tosses her two err maybe uhh hmm ten cents worth in..Damn inflation..
Seriously though..the Pain hurts yeah completely and utterly there..The emotional release of it however for me is what I need the most here whether it be punishment for something I did or simply erotic/sensual. I enjoy the feeling of the personal touch here. Being over who evers lap as they caress my behind before administering the swats to me.
On the flip side of the coin I enjoy spanking the one across my lap or whatever position. There trust in me is there that I will unish them or whatever we are doing in a safe manner and that the experience will be most gratifying afterwards. |
Sissy9
New member
Username: Sissy9
Post Number: 31
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 13, 2006 - 12:57 am: |
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There is like and dislike with spanking,here I live to be corrected by my Dom,not critized,there is a differenc,between him spasnking your bare bottom,and scolding,and a man who spanks and really dosen't like you,.But is just getting off on it,and is useing the situation,to spank,one knows you and one dosen't! |
Buenaventura
Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 158
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 13, 2006 - 12:13 pm: |
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What a lot of great input from the bottoms!Would it be possible to get some from the doms.? I,ve learned a lot about myself since I,ve been in the den and find that almost all the spankings I,ve given have been sexual.In the last 5 months I,ve only given one punishment spanking It was very satisfying in a different way than the sexual ones. I,d like to hear some other opinions if possible.
Content edited per site rules and off topic posts removed.
(Message edited by bethie on September 17, 2006) |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 1127
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 13, 2006 - 10:52 pm: |
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 Quick reminder, we do not allow discussions about non-consensual play of any kind.
Let's get this thread back on topic. Thank you!
(Message edited by bethie on September 17, 2006) |
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