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Tina
New member
Username: Tina
Post Number: 22
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Monday, June 26, 2006 - 08:53 pm: | 
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The last couple of weeks have been a voyage of self-discovery for me as I have finally faced what I have known all along about what I want and need! But I am still trying to figure out why I crave getting my ass smacked.
So please be honest and say why you like it. Is it purely physical, i.e. does the spanking give you certain physical sensations that are pleasureable? Is it because you enjoy the fantasy role-playing thing? Is it that the pain is a cathartic release? All of the above? None of the above? Please give me your input. I am trying to sort this out and also to get rid of the guilt that I feel because I want this. |
Tplayer
Spanko
Username: Tplayer
Post Number: 113
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Monday, June 26, 2006 - 09:23 pm: |
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Tina, I can only speak for myself, but I have always had this desire. I went through guilt for the thoughts in my head. But my forties have been very freeing as far as me accepting myself. I am a spanko. I don't advertise it, but I accept it. It is much more mental with me-but it is triggered with the physical or thoughts of the physical. I do think spankings are pleasurable, but I don't always think that during actually receiving them. The pain is definitely a release- an endorphine release. And I very much enjoy the after effects, and how my bottom is sensitive for a long time. I personally do not role play.
I no longer question why I am this way. It is as much a part of me as my brown eyes. Don't be too tough on yourself. You wouldn't feel guilty if you wanted to have your nipples played with during you know what.
It's all a matter of perspective
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Obx_peach
New member
Username: Obx_peach
Post Number: 30
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Monday, June 26, 2006 - 09:31 pm: |
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Please don't feel guilty , This is a new discovery for me as well. I have read many posts about this topic here and the best answer is not to question yourself just accept it as a part of who you are. For me It's really the mental submission part but I don't know Why either . I do like ( love ) the physical part as well but really the mind set is what I need more then the physical. |
Bonnie
New member
Username: Bonnie
Post Number: 6
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Monday, June 26, 2006 - 09:35 pm: |
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Hi Tina!
I wrote an article on this subject a while ago. You might find it helpful.
With warm regards,
Bonnie |
Tina
New member
Username: Tina
Post Number: 23
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Monday, June 26, 2006 - 09:43 pm: |
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That's very good. Now my question is WHY do I feel this need? I.e. what is the reason I want this. Is it my upbringing? |
Tplayer
Spanko
Username: Tplayer
Post Number: 114
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Monday, June 26, 2006 - 09:57 pm: |
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Why do you have to question it? You do feel this need.
PS This is an over 18 topic site.
It's all a matter of perspective
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Tina
New member
Username: Tina
Post Number: 24
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Monday, June 26, 2006 - 10:04 pm: |
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I am over 18. |
Butterfly84
Junior Spanko
Username: Butterfly84
Post Number: 86
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Monday, June 26, 2006 - 11:59 pm: |
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I can only speak for myself, but for me it's physical, emotional and mental. Physically, I just enjoy being spanked. I love the warm feeling afterwards, I love the sting (not always at that moment, but I do love it!). Emotionally, being spanked is a definite release for me. I tend to bottle everything up inside and eventually I just explode. A spanking helps to let out all the stuff I'm feeling without going volcanic over the people I care about. Mentally...not sure what I meant by that, but there is something stimulating about imagining a spanking, wondering when where and how, etc. Especially if I *know* one is coming to me.
I don't know if this helps, but there's my POV!
~*butterfly*~
Nobody suspects the butterfly...
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Poofette
Junior Spanko
Username: Poofette
Post Number: 92
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 01:51 am: |
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Tina,
Been there, done that. We've all had that guilt (I hate that word) or unease (sounds better) about our desire for this. I can't speak for everyone else but I enjoy it. Spanking doesn't cause me real pain, I respond to it as if I am being pleasured. That's how I am personally wired. That's not to say that I haven't yelped or said OUCH!!! I feel it but my body/mind/what-the-hell ever responds to it by becoming more aroused. I don't do DD nor do I desire to so maybe that makes a difference. I do love role playing. I find extremely erotic and gives me a great excuse to get my bottom warmed. I have always had the desire; as far back as I can remember. Like Tplayer, I accept that I am a spanko and I revel in it. I spent way too many years hiding it or pretending even to myself that it didn't exist. Waste of time. It doesn't go away. It is part of my sexuality which is a large part of me. I finally like me and accept myself. Try to do the same, you'll be far happier. Go ahead and analyze it, try to figure it out but then come to accept it and enjoy yourself.
Poofette
PS to Tplayer, I'm also in my forties isn't it great to know who you are!?! |
Subbie
Junior Spanko
Username: Subbie
Post Number: 82
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 06:37 am: |
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I have had feeling of guilt for a long time, used to ask myself why do I have these feeings and why won't they go away, now I just enjoy it and don't bother to ask because this is just the way I am. and i have learned to like myself.
Spankings are erotic and a sexual experience for me, for some reason the pain feels good, I like being under his control,and we enjoy role play, no DD here.
I finally understand that it is not important for me to be like everyone else we are all different and for my own happiness it is important for me to just be myself.must be something in getting to be 40.
my name says it all
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Reader_girl
Spanko
Username: Reader_girl
Post Number: 140
Registered: 07-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 07:21 am: |
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Tina, you sound like someone who really needs to know why you do or feel the things you do. My suggestion would be not to agonize over it, but to step back and look at understanding yourself as a lifelong process. Something you take out on a regular basis and examine, hypothesize, experiment with, etc. Then put it back until you have more time later. You don't need to understand yourself all at once.
Reader Girl
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Wilson
New member
Username: Wilson
Post Number: 4
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 08:07 pm: |
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There is a basic need to be submissive. Those close to us are who we reach out to...not really knowing how.
It comes out many ways that we can't understand.
When we get our payoff it is very gratifying! And that again feeds our need to do it all over again.
DD relationships give us rationale to buy the payoff with an expected consequence.
Hope this helped...Wilson
***If you can't be good.....be good at IT !!***
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Weasel
Junior Spanko
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 79
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 11:13 am: |
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The deep-seated connotations of shame and humiliation that go along with spanking really tend to overshadow the fact that between consenting adults, it is a very stimulating and erotic form of foreplay.
What I get out of spankings is all erotic. I love the anticipation of it, expecting it, waiting for it, I love to tease him into spanking me. The difficult part was telling him I wanted him to start spanking me. We've known each other a long time, and it was a huge chunk of self-esteem and humility getting slapped down on the table the night I made my desires known to him.
Why do I like it? Who knows. I try not to feel guilty about it.
Anticipation is why I think I like being spanked. I also love the warmed-up feeling I get from a spanking. It does bring a certain radiance to the sex act too, that I really like. Mostly, it's the anticipation. I've found that starting the day by sending him out the door with a sweetly stated "Oh honey, say, if I'm very very bad today, could I get a good spanking?" works quite well. He has a chance to think about how he will fill my needs, I get a day of anticipation which is what I love the feel of. We both get hot sex at the end of it. It's a win-win situation.
Being around the fine folks here really helps too. It's a relief to have someplace to share thoughts on the topic.
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
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Pacificmiss
New member
Username: Pacificmiss
Post Number: 3
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 07:45 pm: |
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Wow Weasel - you expressed very well where I am coming from!
I cannot state why either. It took me many years of marriage to get around to asking - akkkk what a difficult moment.
Hubby still doesn't get the why and I cannot really explain it. Anticipation, submittion, the after_feeling ... (love that warm tender feeling) .. thankfully he will do a bit of play! No DD here - for myself it is great foreplay.
As you can see I can explain what I like :0) but not very good on the why either... Guess I will join the ranks of those who already stated -- it just part of meeee. |
Blistering_blonde
Spanko
Username: Blistering_blonde
Post Number: 283
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 08:12 pm: |
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Ah hell the reason I like being spanked ..besides the few minutes of giving up control ..is the after effect the throb the glow ..it makes me think of my rear ..(which he LOVES) ..and knowing I am tender from his adminstration makes me feel protected ..not to mention the tender cheeks ..they make me feel like my rear is half the size it really is ..and just makes me feel sexier..more desireable .sensual.
plus .......its me ..I love to feel this way.
(Message edited by blistering_blonde on June 28, 2006)
He asked what I needed , timidly gave it at first, now he just knows.
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Katie_spades
Advanced Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 645
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 11:10 pm: |
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Why do some of us like discipline spankings and some of us don't? Well, first of all, I think it varies from person to person and exactly what the spanking consists of and what it does for them, amongst a plethora of other reasons to which I could not even answer. I have heard from many people and I have spoken with some who like and others who do not like discipline spankings, but no matter what all seem interested in spankings.
I always craved one and began to look up what it meant to get a better idea of what it might be like, but I think we can all agree that you can never tell what a spanking feels like, erotic or discipline, until you have had one.
Before I dated Jake, I had been erotically spanked but never discipline spanked, nor had I heard of a DD relationship yet Jake brought it up and I began to do research on it and had interest. I remember my first real discipline spanking and it scared the hell out of me. I had told Jake a minor white lie and told him when he was at work and I was at home (we were talking on IM.) He told me that I was getting a sound hair-brushing when he picked me up and we got to his house (at the time we weren’t living together.) I tried to ask questions but he told me that if I kept pressing the issue it was only going to be worse ad I had no idea what a discipline spanking felt like, nor did I know how bad it was going to be or just what he was going to do t my bottom.
He picked me up when he got out of work and I was nervous the whole way home; I don’t think I said anything because I was so freaking scared and I thought if I said anything, I’d ask about the spanking so I kept my mouth shut to play it safe. We walked in the door and he simply told me to get the hairbrush, go over to the couch and take my pants and panties down and to brace myself until he was ready. Hearing this, I was totally nervous and just about to freak out when he came back and asked me if I was scared. Of course I said yes and he said that I should be but explained why he was doing this. He said that he appreciated my honesty but that I shouldn’t be lying, no matter how minimal the lie was and I needed to be severely punished for it. He said that he didn’t want to but that we both knew it needed to be done. He wanted me to know that this was going to be a very firm spanking that might make me cry but even if it did. He would keep spanking until he felt I was severely punished to his liking. Trust me, I was.
I didn’t get a warm-up and it started on the bare and this was where I learned Jake’s rule: discipline spankings are always on the bare and there was no warm-up. I must have gotten about 100 on the bare and was crying like a baby. I remember trying to cover my bottom with my right hand and he simply just grabbed it and held it against my back and told me he was just going to spank me harder because I should have just accepted my punishment; then the punishment just got harder and more rapid. Eventually, I just lay there like a jellyfish in tears until the spanking ended.
Then he held me and told me everything was okay and better now but I needed this spanking to learn that lying, even a white lie was naughty and this spanking was to remind me. And for quite some time it has and I haven’t lied since, not even a white lie.
So this ties into why I like discipline spankings. As aforesaid, I didn’t like the spanking. I didn’t like having to fetch the brush, knowing I was going to get spanked with it, nor did I want to have to take down my pants and panties and willingly get over Jake’s lap to get my bare bottom spanked. I especially didn’t like the spanking itself because it hurt so freaking much and left me in tears but it was necessary because it taught me a good lesson and that is what I like about it.
Discipline spankings are necessary for me in my life and are for some, but not for others, but that is okay. Everyone has their own wants and needs which I personally think is great because that is what makes this world so different. If we all liked and needed he same things, this world would be pretty boring, don’t you think?
Hope this helps!
XOXO,
Katie
Katie Spades: The Princess of Spanking
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Jgh57
New member
Username: Jgh57
Post Number: 2
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Friday, June 30, 2006 - 11:57 pm: |
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Hi Tina
I'm new here as well but not new to spanking. I think this is part of my life long journey. I've long wondered where this came from. Life would be so simple without it but I can't imagine life that way. |
Bittersweetk
New member
Username: Bittersweetk
Post Number: 2
Registered: 07-2006
| | Posted on Monday, July 03, 2006 - 11:26 am: |
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Hey tina! this is a very interesting question... why do we like it? well, i think i have an answer, at least for myself. In my case, i love it because i like to be dominated, when i have sex i like to hear dirty words, insults, you know... to feel humiliation!!! because in life i'm a successful girl, i always give orders and instructions, i'm always heading works, projects but what the hell leadership makes me sick sometimes!!! Sometimes i want to be who is under control, i like how it feels. And the most i like is the sensation when you come back to real life again and see this guy/girl eyes, i like to know i have an accomplice! somebody else knows that it's possible to rape authority.... that's what i like of it. |
Nicenick06
Junior Spanko
Username: Nicenick06
Post Number: 94
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, July 29, 2006 - 08:12 am: |
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Blistering_Blonde wrote: Ah hell the reason I like being spanked is the after effect the throb the glow .
Nick: I absolutely agree but it also the release of the endorphins which gives you a pleasurable high.
Katie wrote: Why do some of us like discipline spankings and some of us don't?
And she gave a fantastic account......
I like both discipline spankings and erotic foreplay/part of spankings.
Both can be severe.
Both involve and element of personal daring and an element of being scared and/or excited.
Domination and submission are part of this for many as well. |
Sissy9
New member
Username: Sissy9
Post Number: 37
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, September 21, 2006 - 02:52 am: |
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When you trust someone,right wrong,up down,do don't,and sometimes you don't realy trust yourself,you know there is security in answers,and wrongs and rights,the sexual part is all intertwined,Master,Dom.Disaplynarian,it all comes out the same,security,guidance,mentor,all different names for the same thing,....? |
Tedflo
New member
Username: Tedflo
Post Number: 8
Registered: 09-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, October 26, 2006 - 04:08 pm: |
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Tina,Why do i enjoy spanking or being spanked is a question i've always asked myself but could never answer.It's been a sexual turn on for me for as long as i can remember,and up until recent years something i never told anyone about including my ex wife.Ilived in a vanilla relationship for over 20 years and always fantasized about spanking during love making but never could bring myself to tell my wife or anyone else.I met my partner with whom i'm in a live in and engaged relationship with for the past 10 years.This time i didn't make the mistake of hiding my spanking fetish and told her right up front.It was the best thing i've ever done,as she is accomadating.She doesn't like to be spanked very hard herself but that's allright as i'm almost always the one getting spanked .Fortunately for me she enjoys spanking as really gets into the disciplinary scene.I consider myself very lucky to have found this women at this time of my life,and also because there's groups of folks like you people where i can share my spanking desires.
tedflo |
Meilong
New member
Username: Meilong
Post Number: 5
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 12, 2006 - 04:14 am: |
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Someone said, "Spankings are an erotic and a sexual experience for me. For some reason the pain feels good." My view exactly.
It's nice being put into position. It's nice having a man pull my skirt up. It's nice having a man pull my panties down. And it's nice when the pain starts.
But I cannot understand why some pain is nice and some pain is horrid. Pain in the head, pain in the leg, pain in the stomach are all horrid. Pain on the bottom is erotic. |
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