| Author |
Message |
    
Jorge
New member
Username: Jorge
Post Number: 7
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, July 13, 2006 - 02:26 pm: | 
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I WANT TO KNOW, HOW DO FOLKS WHO ENJOY SPANKING FIND SOMEONE WHO ENJOY IT TOO. NO ONE I HAVE MET SEEM TO LIKE SPANKING, THOUGH I'AM VERY CAREFUL HOW I ASK,MOST FOLK JUST SMILE}}}} |
Pinkcheeks
Advanced Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 670
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, July 13, 2006 - 03:50 pm: |
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I am married - and finally got up the nerve to tell my hubby my feelings about wanting to be spanked about 3 years ago. It took courage on my part - and lots of trust, compassion and love on his. We did lots of talking and exploring. Guess I am not the right one to answer this question - but I am sure someone will give you some hints. 
I'm sure it's a "delicate" subject....especially when you just meet someone~~
"Thought I WAS being a good girl...really I did!"
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Arizonathief
New member
Username: Arizonathief
Post Number: 3
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, July 13, 2006 - 05:02 pm: |
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I've always been attracted to open minded women, that liked to try new things. So, for the most part... when I mentioned the idea of spanking, they were interested in trying (that, or they already liked them). Most of the time, they liked it enough to at least want erotic type spankings from time to time. Usually they had to already have an interest to want more intense play though.
It was pretty rare to get a 'no way.' Certainly some giggles, and 'are you really serious' reactions... but most gleefully tried and enjoyed it.
Still though, as I got older... I just got where I asked flat out early on. Pretty much the first time the idea of sex got brought up. The casual one-in-a-while erotic spankee is great... but, I'd rather have someone more hard-wired.
As for where to find those... I found mine where you find single females. Church to bars, friends to personal ads. |
Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 888
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, July 13, 2006 - 05:30 pm: |
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I met my husband in a spanking chat room. Meeting like minded people on line is easier then meeting someplace like church or a bar. This isn't an easy life style and most people don't like talking about it unless they are sure the other person is "into" it.
Of course we are everywhere and it is possible that you will just find someone without really trying!!
(Message edited by tammynx on July 13, 2006) |
Blistering_blonde
Spanko
Username: Blistering_blonde
Post Number: 318
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, July 13, 2006 - 06:27 pm: |
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Well Shoot am I the only one who has NEVER dated a NON SPANKER ????
I would bring it up to the guy ..and whoa boy, many were more than willing ..(some a lil too eager at times I think...being the sassy brat I was) and a few just did it before I brought it up.
I flat out told each and EVERYONE . I love to be spanked ...it makes me feel MORE protected and loved than ANY lil jelousy fit you could throw.
and in the 11 years of dating ,I felt a variety of hands warming my seat. .YET only one man ( When I married him)got the GOOD benifits from it.
My advice .be frank .why be shy about it ..I mean what is the difference really between that and any other lil sex kink we all have ..
Never be ashamed ,
never hide it ,
stress its importance
..I have turned a few vanillas into my way of thinking..just cause they SAW the pleasure I got from it . .. Like I said .I never dated a Non spanker.
Where did I meet these people .... everywhere .
He asked what I needed , timidly gave it at first, now he just knows.
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2566
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, July 13, 2006 - 07:53 pm: |
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No, BBlonde you are not the only one, and I have never had to ask for it or play the part of a brat. I have told no one about my spanking desires, I just seem to attract men who like to spank.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Blistering_blonde
Spanko
Username: Blistering_blonde
Post Number: 319
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 12:42 am: |
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WHEW, I was starting to wonder.
Its not that I played the brat ..more than my normal self either ...its just they ALL liked the power over me.
Guess it had to do with my determaniation I knew what I wanted and got it
He asked what I needed , timidly gave it at first, now he just knows.
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Subbie
Junior Spanko
Username: Subbie
Post Number: 96
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 06:58 am: |
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I have dated non spankers, I mentioned play spankings to a few of them, but nothing really worked out some I just didn't have the right vibes about so I said nothng. I married a non spanker and the marrige ended in divorce not because of the no spankings but because he had an affair.
Now things are dfferent I went lookng for the kind of a man I wanted,( met him thru a dating service) and that took some time, but I knew it was much better to be sure than rush into something and find it isn't what i thought it would be.
Just a wild guess on my part but I think that those who practice spankings in their marriage must be between 3 to 5 percent of marrieds. just a guess.
my name says it all
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 890
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 10:47 am: |
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Of course I dated non spankers! I even married one the first time around. Just becuase they wern't into spanking didn't make them a bad choice for me. I'm with you fanny...I didn't brat my way to a spanking either. |
Weasel
Junior Spanko
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 93
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, July 15, 2006 - 09:09 am: |
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Only one guy wanted to spank me during my free agent lifestyle. Had a couple of different guys who managed a swat on the butt during sex, but no real "spankers". I met Dwaine online through an online dating service, and only expected vanilla. Turned out he was into it. I'd fancied the idea of a sexy spanking for quite a while by then, so it worked out great.
Well, not so great. I broke up with him after my long-lost & much loved husband resurfaced. Then I had to get up the courage to tell him what I want. Now he knows what I want, and he gives it to me when I ask. No punishment spankings, he's no disciplinarian it's all for fun. He likes it, but he hasn't taken the initiative to start a session - that's all my job.
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
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Ladygator2904
Spanko
Username: Ladygator2904
Post Number: 220
Registered: 03-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, July 15, 2006 - 06:30 pm: |
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I met my husband through Yahoo Personals but I did not mention spanking until a year ago! We were then married about 2 yrs. I copied and pasted some how to`s as well readings. Then we talked for a full two days before we entered into it.
A woman`s heart may be filled with an ocean of secrets but mine have all been released and I have a sore bottom to prove it!
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 903
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, July 15, 2006 - 07:11 pm: |
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I'm curious Ladygator how did your husband take it when he first found out?? |
Weasel
Spanko
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 108
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 04:32 pm: |
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Jorge, you might just try a playful swat on the derrierre with whoever you're dating, and see what her reaction is. You react accordingly after that. If she's shocked and offended, don't do it anymore. If she laughs and waggles her butt at you, warm her up to more by offering more where that came from. Watch her reaction. A play-threat of a good spanking against some small faux-pas may illicit the response you want from her too.
It was those "playful swats" that got me interested in receiving a more intense spanking.
Good luck!
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
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Bratattitude
New member
Username: Bratattitude
Post Number: 13
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, July 27, 2006 - 07:34 pm: |
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When I was in my young 20's i ran an ad in Shadow Lane. I met some really great people. A few of them I still keep in touch with. I had a great experience so I would def say try it! |
Nicenick06
Junior Spanko
Username: Nicenick06
Post Number: 72
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, July 29, 2006 - 05:50 am: |
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Sorry been absent for a while.
Ex-girlfriend came started writing to me and came over to see me but she didn’t stay with me and it was pretty disastrous.
That the intense heat and pressure of work sapped up all my spare time.
Anyway didn’t really get into many spanking sessions. Pity.
Jorge I think it is difficult.
My lament is that all the lovely girls who write here are all taken. Damn it.
They had a show of spanked bottoms recently and oh boy were they lovely…
Pinkcheeks has an exceptional relationship. Lucky girl.
Tammynx was lucky.
Meeting people in chat rooms in my experience hasn’t always been easy or resulted in something mutually ok.
Blistering Blonde (lovely name that conjures up all sorts of exciting feelings) has a lovely set of experiences.
As a male when I have dated females the over-riding opinion is one of disgust or reluctant acceptance.
The latter really doesn’t cut it. I really want someone into it. Hard-wired as Arizona thief puts it.
Subbie – don’t know about that percentage – no survey evidence available.
Check out this site where there is some evidence relating to pain and breasts…
http://www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/fr_index.htm
Seems to me that between 4% to 10% of females in this survey (1448 sample size) are into pain in some way.
That the sample is not scientifically based and probably biased (people went to answer it who were in some way more into non-straight sex).
So your percentage is probably good – perhaps a little lower at the bottom (excuse the pun) end.
Fanny seems to attract men who like to spank.
As advice to Jorge? Not sure that will work for others.
Fanny must have a very special aura and puts out the signals over the ether…
Bratattitude used Shadow Lane. Haven’t tried that. May be good.
But the odds are stacked against it for males.
In alt.com the ratio is always 6:1 (6 males looking for 1 available female). Often the female is into permanent bi-sexual encounters (but might just play with a man),
not interested in a relationship, wants money or is into passing multiple persons sex. So that ratio actually drops to greater than 12:1.
At the moment in California there are 125,000 men looking for females and only 17,000 females looking for males.
Take out the unsuitable or people not interested in a primarily one to one heterosexual relationship, and the other categories,
then that reduces to around less than 2,000.
Not a good ratio. Good for females.
For males that kind of puts me off something like Shadow Lane because I am sure the ratio is equally bad. I may be wrong however.
Happy spanking to all
Nick |
Profken
New member
Username: Profken
Post Number: 1
Registered: 08-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 01, 2006 - 03:21 pm: |
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My wife and I found each other through ads in Shadow Lane's Stand Corrected magazine about 16 years ago. We had eached placed ads but I found hers first and answered it.
I had been married before (to a vanilla spouse)and she was occasionally willing to try spanking but after a few years she was no longer interested. This time I was determined to find someone who was into spanking.
What a difference!! Once we had shared this secret with other there was nothing we could not talk about or share. Not only that but as we grow older and many couples seem to lose their interest in sex, we can retain ours since spanking is an automatic turn-on. We have gone to spanking parties in NJ, MA, and PA and have met some wonderful couples.
Keep looking and Good luck. |
Atomicpuppy
New member
Username: Atomicpuppy
Post Number: 1
Registered: 08-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 01, 2006 - 04:22 pm: |
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In this Day and age there seems to be no subject that is taboo.If you want something bad enough you will find it.Therefore finding a spanking partner is easier,but that doesn't mean you will find a long term love.Do you trade one against the other?Would you compromise?
To start with most people wouldn't,but love grows and communication between you is the key.
However,you need to be careful as the world is a dangerous place especially with the internet in full swing,you never really know who's who.
Testing the water is a good way of spotting whether your partner might be interested.A playful slap,you will know if they are willing.
If your more of a dominant/straightforward person then telling them at the start of your relationship could be the key.
Me personally,I did not get into spanking until I got a computer 5 1/2 years ago,but I never told my girlfriend(then,now my wife of 4 years).
It's only over the last 18 months that she has found out about this.She now loves spanking me,but doesn't want me to spank her.I'm happy with that as I'm the spankee,she's the spanker.
There are several fantasises I would like to play out,but I'm still working on that as pushing the boat out might just be too much,we will see.
If you find yourself starting to worry about it you'll probably be better to bring it up/get it off your chest before it makes you ill.Good luck |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2598
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 02, 2006 - 12:43 am: |
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Nic, I am not trying to talk myself up, believe me. I am just a person who is very passionate in every aspect of my life and I think that shows through. Spankers are generally passionate type of people who seek each other out. I am a very strong, in control woman who is nothing but completely honest. All one has to do is speak to me for awhile to figure that out. I am also a very tactile person who touches and hugs a lot. I am the one who rubs the back of the person I am hugging. I also am a pretty good judge of character and will stay clear of anyone that I know I will not be comfortable with. I offer no surprises, what you see in me, you get.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Nicenick06
Spanko
Username: Nicenick06
Post Number: 111
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, August 03, 2006 - 02:35 pm: |
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Fanny and others
Fanny: I am just a person who is very passionate in every aspect of my life and I think that shows through.
Nick: And yes it does.
Fanny: Spankers are generally passionate type of people who seek each other out.
I am a very strong, in control woman who is nothing but completely honest. All one has to do is speak to me for awhile to figure that out. I am also a very tactile person who touches and hugs a lot. I am the one who rubs the back of the person I am hugging. I also am a pretty good judge of character and will stay clear of anyone that I know I will not be comfortable with. I offer no surprises, what you see in me, you get.
Nick: You sound oh so lovely. Pity you are married. Which brigs us back to the subject of how do you meet? Anyone any ideas apart from Shadow Lane or Alt.com?
Although Professor Ken also used and was successful with Shadow Lane. Or finding a vanilla partner and then converting like Atomic Puppy.
Waiting to hear
Take care
Nick or Nic... |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2606
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Friday, August 04, 2006 - 01:16 am: |
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Thank you, Nick. I have meet some wonderful people right here in the Den, who I intend being in long term relationships with. I have met a couple in real life and others who no longer post, I am still in contact with. With a few exceptions here and there, this is really a great group of people.
I hate to sound this way, but I have never had to look, I have been lucky enough that it has just seemed to come my way.
Sorry that sounds too easy, I know it is not.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Nicenick06
Spanko
Username: Nicenick06
Post Number: 114
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Friday, August 04, 2006 - 04:43 am: |
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Fanny easy for a pretty girl to experience that not so easy for a man.
In general I think girls find it easier.
You can find out about me by looking in match.com.
Of course it is rather faltering.
And there are a few little white lies in there. Not many actually…
Thanks for the thought you lucky girl.
Take care
Nick |
Sarahsbrat
New member
Username: Sarahsbrat
Post Number: 45
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 09, 2006 - 10:35 am: |
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Funnily enough I met my Top while playing an online role playing game with her. It was a Lord of the Rings discipline game and she was playing Elrond and a few others.
I did Gildor (Elronds messenger who was 18 and his foster son). No we weren't canon lol!
From there she IMed me one day and here we are.
Is that stranger than fiction?
Not just any naughty brat...Sarahsbrat
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Ma_vie_en_rose
Spanko
Username: Ma_vie_en_rose
Post Number: 195
Registered: 01-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, August 13, 2006 - 12:28 pm: |
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Nick:
I wouldn't say that most girls into spanking are into "permanent bisexual encounters." It's hell finding a girl in the GLBT community into that sort of thing. :/ (well.. at least a female top)
I don't know if converting a vanilla partner works in all cases unless the partner has a predisposition to it. I definitely remember some angst-filled confessions to lovers ^^; I should set up a form letter.
"Dear [your name here],
I like to be spanked. We can talk about it when I get back from my trip alone to Aruba. Of course I'm not hiding from you now that I've confessed this for fear that you see me as a freak.
Yours,
Me." |
Sirrexdehauteville
New member
Username: Sirrexdehauteville
Post Number: 5
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 31, 2006 - 01:06 pm: |
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Hi I'm still new here and also have a problem with meeting ladies whom are into spankings! My first wife tried it and loved it too much that it spooked her and she never would do it again. My current wife did it on my birthday when we where dating and hated it cause I made her cry. But with forms like this one there is Hope in finding that right special someone out there somewhere so DON'T give up! |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2862
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 31, 2006 - 05:01 pm: |
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Just tell me if it is none of my business Sirrex, but if she enjoyed it what exactly spooked her?
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Sirrexdehauteville
New member
Username: Sirrexdehauteville
Post Number: 6
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 31, 2006 - 06:18 pm: |
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Hi Fanny,
I think what happened is she was very naive and was very drunk at the time and our little BDSM session unlocked her Masochistic side she did not know was there. She is always in control of her life (very headstrong) and it scared the hell out of her to think she was into PAIN! so she never would play OTK or Bondage games every again. Warmest smacks, Sir Rex |
Wolfie
Supreme Spanko
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1816
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 31, 2006 - 06:35 pm: |
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I met my guy on another website, and we've been together for 3 years now. I've met lots of nice guys on yahoo groups...like NJspankos, Spankers of the Southeast, and Hands on Spanking. The more your out there, the more ladies you meet and the more opportunities you have.
Good luck! 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Sirrexdehauteville
New member
Username: Sirrexdehauteville
Post Number: 8
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 31, 2006 - 06:58 pm: |
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Tks. Wolfie, We will Check it out, and Warmest to ya. Sir Rex |
Wolfie
Supreme Spanko
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1817
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 31, 2006 - 07:48 pm: |
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Thank you Sir, hope I helped. 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Nicenick06
Spanko
Username: Nicenick06
Post Number: 173
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Friday, November 03, 2006 - 07:30 pm: |
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I find it very difficult.
Nick |
Celticbratt
Spanko
Username: Celticbratt
Post Number: 141
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, November 04, 2006 - 03:26 pm: |
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Hi everyone- It's been a while since I was able to visit the Den, but I have VERY good reasons... that pertain to this topic. Back in time, as I was seperating from my former Dom, I went camping. 2 weeks at a clothing optional Pagan campground where they were having back to back festivals....BY MYSELF, if you can stand it. I knew there were a lot of my friends down there,and I knew I'd have plenty of play parteners.So the first few days were fun- I hooked up and got spanked by a long time friend of mine, and got spanked by an old friend who I had never played with before-who could ask for more, right???? So- here comes the good part. I was walking around the festival grounds with my friend- we were looking at all the vendors, items, especially the toys- We went into one tent, where my friend introduced me to the man who was running the business.We noticed an entire rack of hand made, leather floggers- about 30 of them-PRETTY!!!!! Now, floggers are one of my FAVORITE toys mind you. The owner came over and started talking to us about the care and use of them, and how he practices with them every day..(as my ears perk up at this point kiddies)He then picked up a flog and, while still talking to us and maintaining eye contact, started to just TICK the edge of the table with the flogger...Tick...Tick...Tick...never missing, never over hitting, just barely ticking the edge of the table as he spoke with us.He then returned that flog, picked up a different one of different length and weight, and started to do the same thing.TICK, TICK, TICK....Talk about controll and knowledge when it comes to toys. I'm standing there watching him, and all I can think of is "DAMN...I wish I was that table!!!" Long story short...we met, we spent time together, I got to be on the recieving end of his floggs.WOW!!!!! Now this camp where we met is about 300 miles from where I live. Once we got to know each other, we found out that we lived about 15 minutes from each other!! We spent more time together, fell in love, moved in together...and are now living a Master/subbie life 24/7, and I've never been happier.We are getting married in July. Not your typical Disney love story...but DAMN, it works for us!!!!So keep your eyes open everyone...you never know when or where you might meet someone in the life. |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 1192
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, November 04, 2006 - 03:32 pm: |
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 Let me jump for joy with you! That's awesome, Celticbratt! I'm so happy for you. And you're right, you just never know when you're going to stumble into the spanko of your dreams.
May you live spankily ever after!  |
Celticbratt
Spanko
Username: Celticbratt
Post Number: 142
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, November 04, 2006 - 03:38 pm: |
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P.S.- Forgot to tell you- If looking for play parteners, ect. I had really good luck on "collarme.com" Met several really nice guys to play with on there. |
Slipperings
New member
Username: Slipperings
Post Number: 9
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, November 04, 2006 - 06:43 pm: |
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Well when someone tell me how to meet a spank-o type please let me know. So far since I have been divirced all I have met is losers, I do not mean non-spank-o types. I mean real all other losers all the way..! There is just something wrong in this world when you end up meeting ladies that ask stuff on your first time meeting, questions like...so how much money do you have...how much is your house worth and how much is left on the mortage...and the all time tops on the loser list was one that asked...so how big is your dick... In all my dating life post divorce has been anything but good....OK. |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 1193
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, November 04, 2006 - 08:09 pm: |
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Slipperings, I don't know what kind of women you've been dating, but none of the women in my circle would ever ask those kinds of questions. That's just rude and they're not ladies if they ask for that type of information. You might need to find another dating pool if that's what you're finding so far.
Keep trying though! Don't give up because of these bad experiences. Maybe you could try some of the suggestions here and see what happens.
Good luck! |
Littlelil
New member
Username: Littlelil
Post Number: 2
Registered: 11-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, November 04, 2006 - 08:49 pm: |
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from my experience meeting people who are into it is difficult, My husband wasn't always into it, but now loves it. Good luck finding someone |
Katie_spades
Advanced Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 748
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, November 05, 2006 - 04:54 pm: |
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Celtic, that is awesome! I am so happy for you! Congrats!
Slipperings, I am very sorry that you have had those experiences. I'm with Bethie in that I don't know anyone like that, but I think that shows why it is so important to have a lot of communication before the meeting, with lots of emails, phone, etc.
The Princess of Spanking™
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Slipperings
New member
Username: Slipperings
Post Number: 17
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, November 05, 2006 - 07:47 pm: |
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All I know is that I am not all that interested in looking anymore, and just hope that if there is someone out there for me...she will find me first. All of my dating experiances have all been nightmares from the word...GO..! I have no idea why this is, I am not rude and I do not think I am looking in bad places but I must be. I do not know...I do not know how to date or that stuff, and the world has changed to much and I can not keep up with it. At least in the way of dating stuff goes.
To be very honest about things I have resigned my self to the fact that I will not find anyone and what was, is no more and will be no more. I am starting to settle into the fact that I will live out the rest of my days alone....and let me tell you that is a hard one to wrap ones head around but I have made most of the transition to this fact of life. |
Buenaventura
Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 277
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, November 05, 2006 - 10:14 pm: |
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Slipperings why don,t you start from the beginning and find women you can be friends with talk to don,t think about if they,ll be a good life partner or sex partner just friends.Then develop those friendships into more do things together spend a weekend some place that might end up romantic.Don,t push it have fun.She wiil too.take it slow being anxious is the worst thing you can do with a woman let her do it.Remember women are just as lonely as you are.Start with friendship. |
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