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Message |
    
Pamela
New member
Username: Pamela
Post Number: 1
Registered: 07-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 09:44 pm: | 
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I've been going out with this guy for a several weeks. We've employed some playful spanking but its not enough for me. Tonight on the phone I explained to him why I need to take it to the next level and make this more part of our relationship. He was kind of hesitant about the whole thing. I asked him if he's ever been in a dom/sub relationship and he said no. It made me feel very depraved and cheap to ask for this. I don't know why I feel this way because he himself has had some risque things in his past. He actually used to be a male stripper. But I get the feeling he thinks my need is a little weird. How can I instruct him as to what I need in the relationship? Is there a website or a movie or something that I should direct him to so that he can better understand my needs? |
Weasel
Spanko
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 110
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 08:57 am: |
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Pamela, meybe he just needs a little time to "warm up" to the idea. Some of the spanking den members have blogs posted in their profiles. You could visit a few and find some that you relate to, send him the links or print out some info for him. Google up Beginners Bondage, there are lots of links.
Anyway, slow and steady wins the race. You've only been dating the guy for several weeks. I knew my man forever before I admitted what I liked (to myself and to him). He's still getting used to the fact that I like to get spanked. His game is getting stronger as time goes by. It's only been six months or so since I really "came out" to him. He has a willing spirit though.
Most important, you might want to consider what your needs are! Write it down. Read it out loud to him. Tell him exactly what you envision in your perfect D/s relationship. Be specific. Guys need for us girls to help them connect the dots, the dots need to be very close together!
Good luck, be patient!
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 927
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 09:34 am: |
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Pamela,
Weasel is right...you need to give your man time to think this over. Having him read stories or blogs that intrest you would be a big help.
Having good communication with your partner is VERY important. He can't read your mind..your have to be able to let him know what you want and what you need.
Good luck!! |
Pinkcheeks
Advanced Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 683
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 10:51 am: |
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good advice by Weasel here 
Communication is the key - and it takes time - be patient~~
"Thought I WAS being a good girl...really I did!"
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Wilson
New member
Username: Wilson
Post Number: 8
Registered: 07-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 01:30 pm: |
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Google: Fondly and Firmly
Google: Her Woodshed
See if any of this makes sense to share with your partner.
There are many DD sites on the net, these were just a couple that came to mind.
***If you can't be good.....Be good at it !***
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Tplayer
Spanko
Username: Tplayer
Post Number: 151
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, July 22, 2006 - 11:33 am: |
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Pamela, I think you need to think about yourself being depraved. We are all who we are. If this is someting that you want, it does not need justification. And just because he was a stripper, it does not necessarily lean him toward any kink (He probably did it because it was easy money!). Try taking it in staged until you two find what is mutually comfortable for you. Good luck!
It's all a matter of perspective
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Arizonathief
New member
Username: Arizonathief
Post Number: 5
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, July 22, 2006 - 09:36 pm: |
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Certainly nothing wrong with you! Many-many "normal people"... with good educations, jobs, family... have the same needs and desires you do. Nothing weird about having a desire... that harms no one or no thing.
As for your boyfriend... no real harm in trying to "explain" what you're looking for. But, in my experience it's pretty rare for someone that 'doesn't get it'... to all of a sudden get it. It's only been weeks... so, I'm not sure how much time you want to give. That is, if this is a *must have* issue for you (and for many, it is). |
Pamela
New member
Username: Pamela
Post Number: 3
Registered: 07-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, July 23, 2006 - 08:35 pm: |
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Slowly but surely he is starting to get the picture. Although tonight at his house during a whipping his dog was in the room and the poor thing started to freak out. I don't want to be responsible for traumatizing an innocent animal. We may have to make other arrangements. |
Pinkcheeks
Advanced Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 698
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Monday, July 24, 2006 - 05:39 am: |
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I have a golden retreiver/chow mix and whenever hubby and I want to spank and/or play, we have to put him outside (the dog is very attached to me - and wants to be protective). This works great in the spring, summer, and fall......come winter - we have to retreat to another room, give him plenty of chew toys, and hope for the best! 
"Thought I WAS being a good girl...really I did!"
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Nicenick06
Junior Spanko
Username: Nicenick06
Post Number: 79
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, July 29, 2006 - 04:46 am: |
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Well that seems to have worked out well.
But my experience is that if he isn’t into it you may have to take second best.
Good luck
Nick |
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