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Amarie
New member
Username: Amarie
Post Number: 23
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 16, 2006 - 11:40 pm: | 
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A friend of mine raised this question in his blog, and I am very interested in what people think. (For anyone interested, my blog link is in my profile, and his blog is linked to from mine as Shade's blog.)
He's had several spanking relationships, and they have all fallen apart miserably. So he was wondering if D/S relationships are just inherently more unstable. My opinion is no (due to personal knowledge of him and his relationships), but it would be interesting to find out others' take on this topic. |
Subbie
Spanko
Username: Subbie
Post Number: 126
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, August 17, 2006 - 02:10 am: |
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I don't think so, it is another element in the relationship, but all releationships have to have a solid foundation, and they take time to develope. we need to take he time to find out who this person is, likes, dislikes, how do they treat others.
Besides spankings what do they have in common, couples have to be on he same page.To me the same rules apply to people in the life style and ones who are not. spankings are the frosting on the cake but we need the cake first.
my name says it all
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Pinkcheeks
Advanced Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 747
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, August 17, 2006 - 07:24 am: |
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I think ALL relationships - D/s or not - have to first be based on trust, honesty, communication, and love. Subbie brought up a good point--> "all relationships have to have a solid foundation."
"R" and I do not have what is considered a true D/s relationship ( I can be very hard-headed and independent), but there are times that I feel submissive to him - I enjoy having him as my head of household - BUT -- we make decisions together. His word is not law - we are equal partners in this relationship (have been for 31 years).
Spanking - for us - ranges from the erotic to the discipline. And these did not start until 3 or 4 years ago. It was because of our strong foundation that we were able to openly explore and discuss the spanking lifestyle.
"Thought I WAS being a good girl...really I did!"
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 1046
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, August 17, 2006 - 08:57 am: |
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I don't think this lifstlye makes for an unstable relationship at all. We do live a D/d lifestyle but like Pink my husband and I make decesions together. We are equal in everyway.
Spanking is something I need and want in my life.
I'm NOT a disciplined person...I NEED that to help my life run smoother. Erotic spankings are just that...erotic and fun. Erotic spanking
isn't something we do a lot of but we are working on it.
Any relationship can be unstable if the right elements aren't there.
Honestly If I had to be with my husband today and never be spanked again....it would be hard.
I love him and the relationship we have isn't based just on spanking. But having that element missing would hurt. But having said that...we would still be together. I can't imigine being with anyone else. The relationship is what is the base the spanking is just an extra.
Intresting question I'm curious to see what the other responses are. |
Pinkcheeks
Advanced Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 749
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, August 17, 2006 - 09:57 am: |
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my thoughts exactly Tammy! - great response
It is an interesting question - and I can't wait to see what others have to say~~
"Thought I WAS being a good girl...really I did!"
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Wolfie
Supreme Spanko
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1795
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, August 17, 2006 - 10:31 am: |
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My other relationships all had problems, most stemming from my need for spanking and discipline. I'm not sure what would have happened if I had told them what I wanted...they were all vanilla's after all. One X-boyfriend was too abusive as it was, it would have been like giving him a license to hurt me!
Since I began my D/s relationship I have been quite happy...no longer needing the destructive behaviors I used to use to try and prompt a spanking. I have the consistant and fair discipline I need, and spankings for fun and erotic purposes as well. For me, a D/s relationship was exactly what I was looking for. 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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