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Smartnnaughty
Spanko
Username: Smartnnaughty
Post Number: 165
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 29, 2005 - 04:26 pm: | 
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Being new to this topic and trying to make my way here, I have some questions that only a dom could answer.
1. What type of thoughts go through your mind in the early days when you just started giving spankings? Were you ever unsure of what to do and how to do it?
2. Do you ever have doubts about if you were doing it correctly or hard enough?
3. Has anyone ever turned the tables on you? If so, how did you react?
4. Brats aren't perfect, therefore, they are spanked. Do you ever feel imperfect? What do you do with those feelings?
5. Do you ever lack confidence and want someone else to take charge? Even once in a while?
6. Do you prefer the term Dom or Top or...? Why is it important to you?
7. What do you dislike most about brats/subs? Do you like the struggle and squirming or would you rather have immediate obedience?
8. Have you ever hurt yourself while administering a spanking?
9. Have you ever had a vanilla spouse or significant other that wasn't and couldn't be interested in spanking? How did you handle it? Did being dominant help or hurt that situation?
10. Do you have any other comments to contribute so subs can understand you better?
Please answer any questions that you feel compelled to speak to. I have read a lot about what subs go through but haven't found very much about what doms go through. Any info would be appreciated.
Thanks, SNN
Sassy Sassy Sassy
No one can be as Sassy as me!
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Headteddy
Spanko
Username: Headteddy
Post Number: 165
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 29, 2005 - 05:56 pm: |
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SNN:
Let's deal with easy ones first. No one has ever turned the tables. I have hurt myself when a non CB type bolo paddle broke on a certain wifely types backside and splintered cutting my arm. Damm cheap paddles!!
I'm just too controlling to ever want anyone else to take charge.
I always feel imperfect-that acts as a spur to do better. I don't punish myself but I try to be better.
The term isn't important at all-that language is irrelevent to my image of myself. I'm just a person who enjoys spanking my wife.
In the early days all I really thought about was the purely physical aspects-the body to body contact, the visuals of a squirming behind, the erotic contact, the redness of the freshly spanked rump and the sound of a well delivered crack. The emotional aspects of control, strength were largely absent.
I enjoy the bratty attitude, the struggle is wonderful but I think what I like most of all is the sight of a well spanked brat rubbing and sniffling and oohing and ahhing when they try to sit afterwards. The squirming is nice.
When I started the thing I did wrong was not realizing the importance of a warmup. I never had a problem not spanking hard enough. I am large with a very strong upper body and I've been told many times that I don't know my own strength. I guess I also am more meticulous now in swat placement. A younger Teddy would smack away sort of at random spots. Now I focus on the crown and work down to the sit spot.
There is nothing I dislike about women in general so brats and subs are nearly perfect. The only thing I have a problem is mean spiritedness and I haven't seen that at all in any brat.
Frankly because I have been into spanking for so long I've never had a pure vanilla partner. One young lady about 30 years ago who was pretty strait laced was told by a member of my band that she better take care of me properly that night or he would have to spank her. She giggled and later that night she asked if he would really do that. I said no but I would-she looked at me and said Oh really? I just looked at her sternly and she got back to taking care of me--so I guess being authoritative helped.
One other partner kept asking questions like "what does a girl have to do get spanked around here?" I said nothing at all and put her over my lap and started but after about a dozen hard smacks she used the safe word. That was where my failure to do a proper warm up probably turned her off. She thought she would like being spanked but when the reality came she wasn't ready for it. One other time she got very pouty while we out to dinner and I gave her one sharp crack-that she liked but didn't want anymore. I think she didn't like the ritual OTK as it was moe control than she was willing to give up whereas a spontaneous stinger was acceptable. Strangely enough she liked to be smacked on the behind during sex. Differnt strokes for differnt folks is the appropriate aphorism.
Hope this helps. PM if you need more detail
Every Challenge is An Opportunity
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Fanny
Advanced Spanko
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 685
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 29, 2005 - 06:40 pm: |
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Well said Teddy, you have answered come questions of my own. Thanks SNN for coming up with these thought provoking questions. I hope Teddy has encouraged some of the other doms into posting. C'mon guys give us some hints on what goes on in your minds.
"Queen of Innocence"
"oooooo", she says!!
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Headteddy
Spanko
Username: Headteddy
Post Number: 166
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 29, 2005 - 07:06 pm: |
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One thing I forgot is the importance of position has grown. Wether OTK or bent over the spanker has to make sure the angle is correct. Earlier I would not pay any attention to that. But as we started to play more with paddles you must be careful that the position totally minimizes the possibility of landing a swat too high where damage can. When OTK it is always better to have the target area at the angle where hand or paddle can meet the most fleshy parts which will allow maximum speed at impact and provide the broadest surface area. Also adjusting the spankee provides an opportnuty to communicate strength and control despite the frequent kicking, hair pulling and attempted assauts on the spankers male parts.
Every Challenge is An Opportunity
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Rocco
Spanko
Username: Rocco
Post Number: 318
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 29, 2005 - 07:10 pm: |
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1: I the beginning it was all about the excitement and the eroticism and the control. Having a naked woman over my lap and spanking her was very exciting. Now, it is a mix of all of that but with the added aspect of where it's taking her and how it's effecting and turning her on.
2.Yes. Especially with a vanilla or someone who is just trying it for the first time. You don't want to scare them or run them off. It can be kind of touch and go at times.
3. Yep. I'm a switch, so I like it.
4. All the time. I just try to make myself better before it affects someone else.
5. Lack confidence yes. Someone take charge; not so much. Even though I'm a switch I don't look for someone to be in charge or take control. I'm a switch because I like being spanked, not because I want someone else to be in charge.
6. Top. To me (and this is just a personal view and not a judgment) Dom sounds too much like S&M and that kind f creeps me out.
7. I don't dislike anything about brats. I love the struggle and squirming. But nothing is better than a well-spanked brat draped over my knees drying her eyes.
8. Nope.
9. That would be my current situation. I handled it by letting my switch side come out more. I've found that by letting her top she has become more open to being spanked. She’s seen how I enjoy and how much it turns me on, and as such how it turns her on. It has painted spanking in a new light to her, she could see it was about love and eroticism and fun, she's begun enjoying it more and more. Being dominate has not helped. She needed to find it in her own way, and for her it's been topping. I've got no complaints. 
Nothing says I love you like a spanking
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Fanny
Advanced Spanko
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 687
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 29, 2005 - 08:19 pm: |
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Excellent points added, Teddy. A top always needs to be concerned about damage control. An out of control swat can cause back or kidney pain, and that would not be any fun for anyone.
"Queen of Innocence"
"oooooo", she says!!
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Wyatt
Spanko
Username: Wyatt
Post Number: 171
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, June 30, 2005 - 04:20 am: |
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When someone can write a service manual on the human psyche, and it works for everyone, well, then we have stopped being individuals. We Tops, Doms, etc. are as unique as you ladies are. And as individuals, we are as unique as snowflakes. Let's not take this so deep! |
Fanny
Advanced Spanko
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 696
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, June 30, 2005 - 10:42 am: |
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Wyatt, speaking of psyche, you may find this amusing. Ever since you made me call you sir in one of the other threads, I find myself calling every single man I talk to sir!! I keep catching myself with no sir, yes sir and thank you sir. Even my husband is impressed and pleased I might add. I think this forum is getting dangerous for me!!
"Queen of Innocence"
"oooooo", she says!!
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Spanker4u
New member
Username: Spanker4u
Post Number: 2
Registered: 06-2005
| | Posted on Monday, July 04, 2005 - 05:02 am: |
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1. What type of thoughts go through your mind in the early days when you just started giving spankings? Were you ever unsure of what to do and how to do it?
That's a long way back! But I recall it always seemed to be natural and come naturally to me.
2. Do you ever have doubts about if you were doing it correctly or hard enough?
No doubts - I am always happy in my own mind that the spanking I am giving is "just right" for the circumstances. I am always receptive to genuine signs that the spanking has had the desired effect. The emphasis is on genuine though. You ladies know just what I mean I think!
3. Has anyone ever turned the tables on you? If so, how did you react?
Never - I suppose it seems obvious that it would be very foolish to try that!
4. Brats aren't perfect, therefore, they are spanked. Do you ever feel imperfect? What do you do with those feelings?
Of course I am not perfect and I try to improve whenever I can. I sometimes wish that a spanking would work for me - but it is just not right - I found that out a long time ago.
5. Do you ever lack confidence and want someone else to take charge? Even once in a while?
No.
6. Do you prefer the term Dom or Top or...? Why is it important to you?
Top or Spanker by choice. Dom to me implies a Dom/sub relationship and that is not how I understand the relationship to be. It is an equal realtionship by consent.
7. What do you dislike most about brats/subs? Do you like the struggle and squirming or would you rather have immediate obedience?
I would not say that it is "dislike" as such but I don't take kindly to excessive struggling and wriggling. Immediate obedience is not how I see it either - it is a deserved spanking given fairly and with agreement and consent.
8. Have you ever hurt yourself while administering a spanking?
lol - No. I've had a sore hand on plenty of occasions. And a hairbrush broke at the handle once and flew across the room - fortunately missing all ornaments and the window pane - and me to of course.
9. Have you ever had a vanilla spouse or significant other that wasn't and couldn't be interested in spanking? How did you handle it? Did being dominant help or hurt that situation?
Yes I have. I simply understand and respect entirely that position and point of view.
10. Do you have any other comments to contribute so subs can understand you better?
Not really - such understanding could only come through a longer exchange of views and experiences. As Popeye put it so well - "Iyam what Iyam and that's all that Iyam"! Not entirely accurate in fact because there is quite a lot more to me than spanking - but I still am what I am.} |
Bigfoot1408
Junior Spanko
Username: Bigfoot1408
Post Number: 53
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, July 04, 2005 - 08:50 am: |
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1. What type of thoughts go through your mind in the early days when you just started giving spankings? Were you ever unsure of what to do and how to do it?
these are the "earlier" days.. and yes, i am unsure,,
2. Do you ever have doubts about if you were doing it correctly or hard enough?
yes, but my lady has agreed to let me know.
i am learning how to judge by her reactions.
3. Has anyone ever turned the tables on you? If so, how did you react?
no
4. Brats aren't perfect, therefore, they are spanked. Do you ever feel imperfect? What do you do with those feelings?
i don't spank for punishment,, i spank because it makes her feel good,and i love it.
5. Do you ever lack confidence and want someone else to take charge? Even once in a while?
no
6. Do you prefer the term Dom or Top or...? Why is it important to you?
i don't prefer either,,,,
i have noted the reaction to the word dom here and am a little surprised,,, the true d/s relationship is the deepest,purest kind of relationship.. dom,sub is not domineering,subjugated,,,,, nor sado maso,
read about it in castlerealm dot com. [all one word without the period.
you will come away with a different attitude about d/s
7. What do you dislike most about brats/subs? Do you like the struggle and squirming or would you rather have immediate obedience?
a little struggle
8. Have you ever hurt yourself while administering a spanking?
yup,, my hand since it's all i use it gets stingy
9. Have you ever had a vanilla spouse or significant other that wasn't and couldn't be interested in spanking? How did you handle it? Did being dominant help or hurt that situation?
10. Do you have any other comments to contribute so subs can understand you better?
yup but i need time to get all my ducks in a row first.... |
Fanny
Advanced Spanko
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 708
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, July 04, 2005 - 09:58 am: |
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Bigfoot....Have you ever hurt yourself while administering a spanking?
yup,, my hand since it's all i use it gets stingy
I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT!! 
"Queen of Innocence"
"oooooo", she says!!
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Bigfoot1408
Junior Spanko
Username: Bigfoot1408
Post Number: 54
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, July 04, 2005 - 04:48 pm: |
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it will be allright with a lot,, of practice. |
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